Unloved: No Longer Your Trial Run

On Christmas Eve, my sister, Chloe, had a mild allergic reaction to mangoes. My parents frantically rushed her to the emergency room.

Yet, I had been severely allergic to fish since childhood, but fish was served on our dinner table every single day. My parents always told me:

Allergy? Thats just a weak immune system. Eat more of it, and once your body gets used to it, you won't be allergic anymore.

Staring at the Christmas dinner slowly turning cold on the table, I couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. I didnt even realize my face was already drenched in tears.

Suddenly, a notification popped up on my phone. It was a Snapchat message from Mom:

[Summer, Chloe refuses to get a blood test. She says shes terrified of needles and is crying for you. Get over here now.]

I pulled at the corner of my mouth. Terrified? No, she wasn't.

She just didn't want them to find out she was pregnant.

Mom, Dad, your precious little golden child isn't just pregnant.

I walked back into the hospital.

At the ER entrance, Nurse Lily looked up in surprise. "Dr. Miller? I thought your shift ended. Why are you back?"

I gave her a weary smile. "My sister was admitted. Allergic reaction."

I headed toward the trauma bay.

Behind me, I heard Lily muttering to herself, "Weird. Isn't Dr. Summer a doctor here? Why do her parents need to bring her sister to the ER for a mild allergy?"

To my parents, Chloes allergy was a life-or-death crisis.

How could they ever risk their "golden child" when they had metheir "trial run"to experiment on?

Outside the treatment room, Mom was buried in Dad's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Richard, we are such terrible parents. How did we not know Chloe was allergic to mangoes?"

They had actually been perfect parents to Chloe.

There had never been a single allergen in our house since the day she was born.

But Chloe was pregnant. The pregnancy had triggered a new, sudden allergy, and they simply didn't know yet.

The moment Mom saw me, she grabbed my arm roughly, her voice dripping with blame.

"What took you so long? Don't you know a severe allergy can kill someone?"

"She refuses to do the blood test, so they can't start the IV. She kicked us both out of the room. Go in there and do something!"

I looked into her tear-filled eyes. For the first time in my life, I talked back.

"I know exactly how deadly allergies are, Mom."

"So tell mewhy is it that when I was allergic to fish, you mashed a whole bowl of cod into my rice and forced me to eat it?"

Not only that, but when my throat began to swell, they told me to "tough it out" so I could eat fish normally in the future.

It was only when a neighbor visited, gasped in horror, and screamed at my parents for being criminally negligent that I was finally rushed to the ICU.

The doctor said if I had arrived five minutes later, I would have been brain-dead.

Mom froze for a second. Then, her face flushed with deep annoyance.

"What nonsense are you talking about? I never did that!"

"Even if I did, why bring up the past now? Look at your sister! Shes breaking out in hives!"

With that, she pushed me into the hospital room, shutting the door behind me.

Chloe was sitting on the gurney, scratching her neck frantically.

"Summer! Thank God you're here. You have to save me. Only you can help me now."

I pulled back her collar to inspect the rash.

"You need an IV antihistamine. Itll clear up faster."

She glanced nervously at the closed door and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"Summer, cut the crap. I know you found the folic acid pills in my vitamin bottle."

"I know I can't hide it from you. Please, Summer, help me. I cant take any medication that might hurt the baby."

I stared at her, my expression completely flat.

"So? You're going to keep it? You're only a sophomore in college..."

"Summer!" she interrupted, her voice snapping with irritation.

"Just because Mom and Dad ruined your relationship when you were in college doesn't mean you get to rain on my parade."

"Mom and Dad actually allowed me to date. I just haven't figured out how to tell them about the pregnancy yet."

Right. She had to remind me.

When I fell in love in college, my parents threw a massive scene at the Dean's office.

They used the most vicious language to humiliate me and that boy at school.

They even threatened to report him to the police for sexual assault, despite me screaming that we hadn't even kissed.

They wouldn't let it go.

In the end, unable to bear the public humiliation and pressure, the boy withdrew from college.

His entire future, which he had worked so hard for, was destroyed by my parents.

After that, no one at school dared to be my friend.

And I never dated again.

But when Chloe went to college, my parents saw that I had become an "old maid." Fearing they had been too strict, they suddenly became open-minded and encouraged Chloe to date.

To ensure she had a "healthy social life," they raised her allowance to 0-0,000 a month.

They claimed they didn't want her "begging boys for money."

Meanwhile, when I was in college, they gave me exactly 0-050 a month.

I had to work three part-time jobs just to afford groceries and textbooks.

Later, Mom actually bragged on Facebook about how she "fostered independence" in her eldest daughter.

The post was flooded with mockery from local moms.

[If you don't want to cherish your daughter, someone else will.]

[Treating your kid like that is how you end up in a cheap nursing home.]

Panic-stricken by the online backlash, they immediately added another $500 to Chloe's monthly allowance.

Every wrong decision they made with me, they corrected by doubling the love on Chloe.

"Summer!"

Seeing me space out, Chloe gave me a hard shove, her tone reverting to her usual bossy self.

"I looked it up on Google. There are allergy meds safe for pregnant women. Prescribe me that. I'm itching to death!"

"I'm not lying for you, Chloe. Tell Mom and Dad yourself."

I turned to leave.

"Summer! Don't you want to know what Grandma Sarah said right before she died?"

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Grandma Sarah was the only person in this world who had ever truly loved me.

When I was little, I proudly brought my report cards and academic awards home, taping them to the living room wall to surprise my parents.

They only gave them a cold, passing glance. "Take them down. It looks messy. You think this deserves a trophy? Summer, you're still far from good enough."

But Grandma Sarah would bake blueberry muffins to celebrate my B-plus.

She would hug me and say, "My Summer is the smartest girl in the world."

She carefully taped together the certificates my mother had ripped down.

"Bring them all to Grandma's house, sweetie. Seeing them makes me happy."

Eventually, my awards covered an entire wall in Grandmas living room. She boasted about me to every neighbor who walked by.

But when Grandma was terminally ill, my parents hid it from me. They claimed they didn't want to "distract" me from my medical school entrance exams.

Because of their lie, I never got to say goodbye.

Yet, when Chloe was stressed during her junior year of high school, they let her take a gap year to travel across Europe.

How was I ever supposed to forgive them for that?

Suppressing the sharp ache in my chest, I turned back to Chloe.

"Fine. Ill write the prescription."

The moment I stepped out of the room, my parents swarmed me.

"How is she? Is Chloe okay?"

"Im getting her meds."

I averted my eyes and walked past them quickly.

They immediately pressed their faces against the glass window of Chloe's room.

"Chloe? Sweetie, are you okay?"

"Okay, okay, Daddy and Mommy won't come in. Just don't scratch your face, okay? Itll scar, and we cant have our beautiful girl scarred!"

I forced myself to block out their voices.

But my chest felt like a hollow cave, with cold wind howling through the empty space.

From childhood to adulthood, they had nothing but criticism for me.

Even when neighbors complimented my looks, Mom would scoff:

"Beautiful? Her eyes are as small as a mouse's. And she has such a gloomy personality. I don't know who she got those genes from."

Only Grandma Sarah ever told me I was beautiful.

I'm sorry, Grandma. I'm so sorry I wasn't there at the end.

Back in the room, I handed the pills to Chloe.

"Take three. We need to keep you overnight for observation."

The moment she swallowed them, I asked, "What did Grandma say before she passed?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Chloe arched an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips.

"No wonder Mom and Dad say youre an ungrateful leech who only cared about that old lady."

I clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into my palms. "Tell me."

She slid back down onto the pillows. "Tell Mom and Dad to go home first. You stay here and nurse me tonight."

"Chloe."

"Don't think your pregnancy is the only secret I know."