Buried in the Spring, Lost in Your Autumn

Bennett and I were each others first loves. We were together from the age of eighteen to twenty-three.

Later, I personally drugged his drink and sent him into my sisters bedroom.

He desperately escaped and came looking for me, only to overhear the conversation between my friend and me.

All these years of history, and youre just throwing him away?

I swirled the wine in my glass, a careless smirk on my face. "Friends are like limbs; men are just clothes. Shes my sister. Whats wrong with letting her have some fun with him?"

Since then, Bennett cut all ties with me. We hadnt seen each other in three years.

Three years later, some were newlywed, while some slept eternally in a quiet southern town.

My name is Norah Vance. I am the eldest daughter of the wealthy Vance family.

For as long as I can remember, I lived in the familys old estate in the historic district, raised by my grandmother.

My parents, Arthur and Evelyn, lived with my younger sister, Pearl, in a luxury penthouse downtown.

The old estate was only a thirty-minute drive from their place, but to me, we were separated by mountains, living in two completely different worlds.

My parents rarely came to see me. I only saw them during major holidays.

Grandma always told me that they loved me, but they were just too busy with the family business to have the energy to care for me.

I believed her. Yet, the resentment in my heart grew like wild grass, suffocating me.

I couldnt help but wonderif they were so busy, why wasnt Pearl sent to the old estate too?

Why did they have time to raise Pearl, but not me?

The historic district was an exclusive neighborhood where old money retirees lived.

There weren't many left-behind kids in this area, but Bennett and I were the exceptions.

The Vance and Cole families had been close for generations. Bennett's parents worked abroad year-round, so they left him in the care of his grandparents.

You would think two kids in the same boat would look out for each other.

But I hated Bennett from the bottom of my heart. I had hated him since we were toddlers.

He was the textbook "perfect child." He always ranked first in school, excelled in AP math, piano, and golf, and was always polite and well-mannered.

Meanwhile, I was the neighborhood rebel, spoiled by my grandmother. I skipped classes, scaled school fences, and got into fights.

To make matters worse, our namesNorah and Bennettsounded like opposite poles.

Every time I got into trouble, the elders and teachers would compare me to him. "One goes north, the other goes south," they would say.

Over time, I declared a one-sided war on Bennett.

I did everything to ruin his day. Seeing him miserable was the only thing that made me happy.

But Bennett was no pushover. Throughout middle school, our petty wars never stopped.

I tore his worksheets, he pulled my hair. I put earthworms in his desk, he drew stupid caricatures on my test papers.

In a flash, we turned fifteen and ended up in the same high school.

Bennett got into the honors class with the highest score and became the Student Council President.

I barely scraped into the regular class, remaining the troublemaker who gave teachers headaches.

Whenever he hosted a school assembly, I would catcall and shout his name from the crowd, trying to embarrass him in front of the entire school.

After one assembly, he cornered me in the stairwell. Frowning, his voice deep, he asked, "Norah, were not in elementary school anymore. Can we please make peace?"

I rejected him outright, pushed past him, and walked away without looking back.

At fifteen, all I wanted was for my parents to look at me, even if it was just a glance.

And messing with Bennett, the golden boy, was the perfect way to get attention.

I hoped Bennett would lose his patience and complain to my parents. I hoped my parents would finally come to discipline me.

But nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

Bennett never told on me, and my parents eyes remained fixed solely on Pearl.

Pearl was five years younger than me, the absolute princess of the family.

She actually liked me. Whenever we met during holidays, she would sweetly call me "Sis" and stuff candy into my hands.

But I hated her. I was jealous of herjealous of the unconditional love she received.

I took my anger out on her. Every time we met, I gave her the cold shoulder, snatched her gifts, and threw away her candies.

I thought I would keep being a rebel until I grew up.

I never expected that in the winter of my fifteenth year, fate would deal me a crushing blow.

Grandma suffered a sudden brain hemorrhage and was rushed to the ER.

A few days later, she woke up.

The doctor told us it was just a final rally before the end, and we should prepare for the worst.

I rushed into the ICU and threw myself beside her bed.

Grandma looked at me, her eyes overflowing with tears.

She gently stroked my hair and began to tell me the secrets she had hidden for fifteen years.

She told me I was not Evelyns biological daughter.

She said my parents had been married for seven years without any luck of having a child.

Desperate for an heir, Grandma took advantage of a time when Evelyn was visiting family out of state. She got my father heavily drunk and arranged for another woman to be in his bed.

That single night resulted in a pregnancy. And then, I was born.

When Evelyn found out, she cried, screamed, and almost filed for divorce, but eventually compromised.

She had only one condition: she would never raise me.

"Norah, don't blame your parents. Blame me. It was your old grandma who lost her mind," she whispered.

"I thought, since your mother couldn't conceive, she would eventually accept you over time."

"But when you were five, Pearl came. It was fate. Your mother is innocent; she has suffered so much."

"I'm sorry, my sweet Norah. I will make it up to you in the next life..."

Grandmas voice faded into nothingness, and her hand fell limp.

At that moment, all my anger and resentment collapsed like a house of cards.

Yes, how pitiful my mother was. Every time she looked at me, she saw the living proof of her husband's betrayal.

And Pearl was even more innocent. She did nothing wrong, yet she had been the target of my bitter jealousy.

Could I blame Grandma? She was the only one who truly loved me. I couldn't hate her.

Could I blame my father? Manipulated by his mother and resented by his wife, his life was its own kind of hell.

In the end, the only person left to blame was myself.

Why was I even born?

Grandma's funeral was grand. Bennett came too. He stood in the crowd, dressed in a black suit, his eyes cast down.

I didn't talk to him, nor did I talk to anyone else. I was like a puppet without a soul.

After the funeral, I moved into my parents penthousethe place I had dreamed of living in since childhood.

The apartment was massive, with plenty of rooms, yet I felt like I didn't belong anywhere.

The moment I learned the truth about my birth, all my past rebellion felt like a joke.

Overnight, I went from a loud, arrogant brat to a silent shadow.

But just as I was shutting myself away in the dark, two people forced their way into my locked heart.

One was Bennett, whom I had hated for a decade. The other was Pearl, whom I had envied for just as long.

After learning the truth, I started avoiding Bennett on purpose.

But he quickly noticed my change.

He started clinging to me, being so incredibly sweet that it threw me off.

In the cafeteria, he would always sit across from me, moving all the best food from his plate to mine.

When I hid on the school rooftop to cry, he would always find me and silently sit by my side.

After school, when I didn't want to go home, he would walk with me through the streets, buying me ice cream.

His warmth acted like a gentle current, melting the icy walls around my heart.

And Pearl, sensitive as she was, noticed the tense atmosphere at home.

She began tirelessly trying to mend the cracks in our family.

She would constantly sweet-talk our mother: "Mom, thank you for giving me a sister. I love Norah so much."

"Mom, look, the backpack Norah packed for me is so neat, much better than yours!"

"Mom, Im so happy I get to go to school with Norah every day."

Gradually, the coldness in Evelyn's eyes when she looked at me began to fade, replaced by a gentle warmth.

Eventually, she even started warming up a glass of milk for me whenever she made one for Pearl.

Under the warmth of Bennett and Pearl, I slowly came back to life.

I finally realized that Pearl was never my enemy. She was my sister.

And as for Bennett, we naturally became a couple.

Our families were old friends, and our social status matched perfectly. Both sets of parents were happy to see us together.

After we started dating, our dates almost always included a little tagalongPearl.

Bennett would playfully complain to me, "Norah, when do we get some alone time?"

Pearl would jump out from behind, hands on her hips, glaring at him. "Are you trying to get rid of me so you can take advantage of my sister?"

Watching them bicker, my heart swelled with pure happiness.

I thought this beautiful life would last forever.

But the year Pearl turned eighteen, everything shattered.

First, Bennetts parents suddenly returned to the country. They were fiercely against our relationship and even locked him in his room.

Then, I received my medical report from the hospital: late-stage stomach cancer. I had three years left to live, at most.

When I walked through the door that day, it wasn't a cheerful Pearl who greeted me, but my mother.

Without saying a word, she handed me a diary.

With trembling hands, I opened it and turned the pages.

"Went to the Cole estate with Norah again today. Finally saw him. His smile is so beautiful."

"Norah has been so busy lately and hasn't visited the Coles. Ugh, I miss him so much."

"Saw him again today! Following Norah around is definitely the best decision ever."

Every word felt like a dagger piercing my chest.

Pearl was in love with Bennett.

My mother remained silent for a long time before she finally spoke. "Do you know why Bennetts parents suddenly opposed you two?"

"I called them. I told them you are just an adopted daughter, and that everything in the Vance estate will belong to Pearl in the future."

With one simple phone call, she destroyed any future Bennett and I could have had.

That night, Bennett escaped through his window and found me.

"Norah, let's run away. Anywhere, as long as I'm with you."

Looking at his desperate face, my heart bled.

Run away?

If he did, he would lose his inheritance. His five cousins would tear him apart and take everything he owned.

He would have nothing.

And what could I give him in return?

If we ran away, I could only give him three years of my life.

Was I supposed to ruin the rest of his life for just three years of togetherness?

I couldn't. I absolutely couldn't.

Pearl loved him. They grew up together, and they were perfect for each other.

More importantly, I couldn't let Bennett waste his youth on a dying girl.

It was better to make him hate me.

Looking at the passionate young man in front of me, I forced a bright smile. "Okay, let's run away."

I tricked him into drinking a glass of red wine laced with sleeping pills, then carried him into Pearl's bedroom.

I didn't drug him with anything else like Grandma did. I just wanted him to hate me.

As for his relationship with Pearl, I decided to let nature take its course.

Then, I went to a noisy VIP club, hired a couple of handsome escorts to sit with me, and called my best friend over. I wanted to say my goodbyes to her while waiting for Bennett to find me.

At the same time, my mother burst into Pearls room with the housekeepers.

Bennett and Pearl woke up to the commotion, completely bewildered.

My mother demanded angrily, "Bennett, what did you do to my daughter?"

Confused and panicking, Bennett blurted out, "How is this possible? I was with Norah last night!"

The moment the words left his mouth, he remembered the glass of red wine and my unusually bright smile.

A terrible realization washed over him. He quickly corrected himself, "I'm sorry. I drank too much last night and stumbled into the wrong room."

Pearl quickly chimed in, "Bennett and I are fully clothed! Nothing happened, Mom. He must have been looking for Norah and got into the wrong room because he was drunk."

After calming my mother down, Bennett ran out of the house.

He had to find me.

We had each other's locations shared on Snapchat.

I watched the little icon on my screen get closer and closer to the club.

The icon stopped just a few feet away from my VIP table.

My friend asked, "All these years of history, and youre just throwing him away?"

I swirled my drink, laughing carelessly. "Friends are like limbs; men are just clothes. Shes my sister. Whats wrong with letting her have some fun with him?"

After that night, Bennett vanished from my world.

He blocked me on Snapchat, and our families stopped speaking to each other.

Pearl became the most anxious one.

Every day, she would hover around me, her eyes filled with worry.

"Norah, what happened between you and Bennett? Did you guys have a fight?"

I just shook my head and smiled, saying everything was fine.

Refusing to give up, she tugged at my sleeve and explained for the hundredth time.

"That night, I was fully clothed, and so was he."

"He smelled so strongly of alcohol. He really just got drunk and walked into the wrong room."

"Norah, I swear!"

I pinched her nose gently. "You've said that so many times. I know."

Pearls voice softened, filled with a young girl's hope. "Then can we go visit the Coles? I haven't seen Bennett in so long. Just go with me, please?"

Looking at her bright, hopeful eyes, a dull ache spread through my chest.

She really did love him that much.

What I did was right.

I turned my face away and said quietly, "Go by yourself. I've been feeling a bit tired lately."

Pearl looked at my pale face, wanting to say something, but stopped herself.

The side effects of chemotherapy were getting worse.

I started vomiting constantly, unable to keep any food down.

My weight dropped rapidly, and my hair began to fall out in clumps.

I became terrified of brushing my hair because every brush brought away a handful of strands.

I couldn't stay here anymore.

I was terrified Pearl would discover my secret.

Even more, I was terrified Bennett would suddenly show up and see me in this pathetic state.

I packed a small suitcase, left a letter, and left the city.

I moved to a quiet, sleepy town in Georgia.

There were peaceful, flowing creeks and endless fields of wild yellow flowers.

I rented a tiny cottage and spent my days watching the sun rise and fall.

I kept taking my chemo pills, and the dosage only got stronger.

Whenever the pain became unbearable, I would curl up by the window, clutching my knees, picturing Pearls bright smile and remembering the warmth of Bennett's hand in mine.

In the blink of an eye, three years passed. One day, I was casually watching the news on TV.

"The eldest son of the Cole family is engaged to the daughter of the Vance family. The wedding will take place in three months."

Pearl and Bennett were getting married.

So, they really did end up together.

My departure had indeed paved the way for them.

I should be happy, shouldn't I?

I had achieved my goal.

But why were my tears pouring down like rain?

I sat in my rented cottage, staring into the dark all night.

I wanted to see them one last time.

Just once.

Before I died, I wanted to lay eyes on the two most important people in my life.

I booked a flight back and began my journey home.