Still Waiting for You

Not long after Amy, his one true love, left the country, Julian Reed asked me out.
My friends teased me, After all this time, he finally realized the right person was right here beside him all along.
He said nothing.
I walked on eggshells by his side, believing that a true heart could win a true heart in return.
That illusion shattered the day he stood me up on my own birthday to pick Amy up from the airport.
A friend of his asked him, "You chose Vivian, so why can't you get over Amy?"
His answer: "A will always be A. But B... B could be anyone."
That’s when I finally understood. It was time for me to leave.

1
We had been together for three years when Julian finally made us official on his social media.
For my twenty-second birthday, he invited all our friends, promising to throw me the party of a lifetime. I was so touched, so certain that my devotion had finally paid off.
I never imagined he would just… not show up.
By seven in the evening, the villa was buzzing with guests, but there was still no sign of Julian. People started crowding around me, their patience wearing thin. "Vivian, where the hell is Julian?"
I clutched my phone, my voice trembling as I fumbled for an excuse. "Something urgent came up. He couldn't make it."
The truth was, I hadn't been able to reach him for over an hour.
"But he's made all the arrangements, so please, eat, drink, and have a good time," I added, forcing a smile. I knew most of them weren't here for me, but I had to hold it together, playing the gracious host.
Suddenly, a sneer cut through the chatter. "Look at her, playing the lady of the manor."
Another voice, louder this time, erupted in laughter. "I guess we know what's so important. The great Julian Reed is at the airport picking up Amy!"
The name hit me like a physical blow. I froze, and the wine glass in my hand slipped, shattering on the floor.
The speaker was a woman named Sienna, one of Amy's best friends. Her announcement had captured everyone's attention. She held up her phone, waving it with a smug pride. "Amy just texted me. She's back in the country on vacation."
I knelt to pick up the broken glass, a sharp edge slicing into my finger.
Sienna sauntered over, her hips swaying, and looked down at me with disdain. "Well, well. The queen has returned. Someone must be panicking." She let out a little laugh. "Then again, everyone knows how crazy Julian was about Amy back in high school. It was epic."
I kept my head down, saying nothing. How could I not know? I'd been watching him from the shadows since I was twelve.
Seeing she wasn't getting a rise out of me, Sienna lost interest. "This party is a bore anyway. I'm out of here." She started for the door, then paused as if remembering something. She turned back, a malicious grin spreading across her face. "Oh, and I almost forgot to tell everyone! Julian's throwing a welcome home party for Amy tomorrow. It's at… Rosewood Estate."
She deliberately drew out the last two words, letting them hang in the air.
Rosewood Estate. The manor Julian had designed himself when he was eighteen, built exclusively for Amy. He'd planted an entire garden of red roses, her favorite. After she went abroad, he locked the place up, forbidding anyone from setting foot inside.
This villa, where my sad little party was being held, was just a temporary rental.
It was May, and the climbing briars on the garden walls were in full, glorious bloom. Sienna plucked one, tossed it to the ground, and deliberately crushed it into the mud with her stiletto heel.
She looked pointedly at me. "A climbing briar, clinging just to survive. It can never compare to a real rose, standing tall on its own."
A wave of snickers rippled through the remaining guests.
I followed her to the door, the hostess smile still plastered on my face. "I'm sorry the party wasn't to your liking. Have a safe trip home, Sienna."
She just rolled her eyes. "Trash will always be trash. You can't polish a turd."
The show was over. One by one, the rest of them filed out, leaving me in the echoing silence.

2
I watched them go, and the strength drained from my body so fast I almost collapsed right there on the floor.
A pair of hands caught me, steadying me. A man frowned, his face etched with worry.
I turned to see Leo. I managed a weak smile. "You're still here?"
He scratched his head, his eyes darting away. "Uh, yeah. I got a call earlier. Julian said something came up and asked me to help you with the guests. What happened? Where did everyone go?"
I'd known him for over a decade. He was a terrible liar.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "You don't have to cover for him, Leo. I know he went to find Amy."
His face flushed with embarrassment. "It's not like that! Julian knows what he's doing. I'm sure he has a good reason. Don't overthink it." He tried to comfort me. "You two were childhood sweethearts. A decade of history isn't something just anyone can compete with."
A sour ache bloomed in my chest. Among all of Julian’s friends, Leo was probably the only one who saw us that way.
The truth was, Julian and I were from two different worlds.
When I was ten, my father left my mother and me for another woman. Not long after, my mother dropped me at the gates of a group home and never looked back.
I was quiet and timid, an easy target for the other kids.
The Reeds were philanthropists. One day, Mr. and Mrs. Reed brought Julian to the home to hand out donations. All the other children swarmed them for gifts. I was hiding in a corner, crying because someone had taken scissors to my hair.
The director told them I was withdrawn and couldn't make friends.
That’s when Julian walked over. He pressed a handful of candy into my palm and smiled. "Have some candy. Please don't cry, okay?"
After that, he visited often, sometimes bringing his best friend, Leo. We became close. Eventually, the Reeds decided to sponsor my education and took me into their home.
From twelve to seventeen, I was Julian's shadow.
At school, some kids mocked me, calling me his "personal servant."
Julian responded by kicking over their desk, his face cold with anger. "Vivian is like a sister to me," he warned them. "Don't ever talk about her like that again, or you'll deal with me every single time."
His protection warmed me, but the word "sister" was a small, sharp sting of disappointment.
Then, in our sophomore year of high school, Amy transferred to our school. She was like a princess from a fairy tale, exquisitely beautiful. Every boy in school fell over themselves trying to get her attention. Only Julian remained unimpressed.
Leo teased him about his high standards.
Julian just shrugged, a casual smile on his face. "When I've got Vivi around, why would I look at anyone else?"
I knew he was joking, but I felt my heart skip a beat anyway.
On the first day of the second semester, during evening study hall, he came to find me. He slid into the seat beside me, his eyes gleaming with a mysterious excitement. "I have something really important to tell you."
His intense gaze made my stomach flutter. "What is it?"
He leaned in close, his voice a conspiratorial whisper in my ear. "I'm going to ask Amy out."
My head snapped toward him. His eyes were shining, so bright, but I couldn't see my own reflection in them. He launched into an enthusiastic story about how they'd met over winter break and how he'd been completely captivated by her.
I sat there, frozen, my eyes glued to the open English vocabulary book on my desk. I was terrified that if I said a single word, the overwhelming sadness would spill from my eyes.
Finally, he asked, "Vivi, you're in the same class as her. You'll help me, right?"
I heard myself give a tiny, almost inaudible, "Mmm."
He glanced across the room at the girl of his dreams, surrounded by her usual circle of admirers, and left with a satisfied smile.
For the rest of that study hall, my vocabulary book remained on the same page.
"Abandon…"
The first word on the first line of the first page. I repeated it to myself a thousand times.
I hadn't even realized it, but my love for him had already grown wild and untamable, like weeds choking a garden.

3
I buried my feelings deep and played my part perfectly, becoming his dutiful messenger, delivering love letters, gifts, and whispered messages.
Julian dreamed of being an architect, and his first project was the manor he designed for Amy. She loved red roses, so he planted an entire garden for her with his own two hands.
That June, with the roses in full bloom, he confessed his feelings to his princess with a heart full of devotion.
She turned him down.
She told him her heart already belonged to someone else, and that she would be joining him abroad soon.
That night, Julian sat in the rose garden and drank himself into a stupor. I stayed with him all night, and for the first time, I saw him cry.
He was so completely, devastatingly in love with her.
We were so much alike, he and I. Both trapped in a hopeless, unrequited love.
We ended up at the same university. He never mentioned Amy again.
Then, on Valentine's Day, he suddenly asked me, "Vivi, do you want to try being with me?"
I'd just seen a picture Amy posted on social media—a picture of her kissing her boyfriend, their hands intertwined. A dull ache throbbed in my chest, but I still nodded and said, "Okay."
Looking back, it was the least romantic proposal in history. But back then, he was my entire world. Even if the path ahead led off a cliff, I would have willingly jumped with him.
We only told Leo we were together.
He clapped Julian on the back, grinning. "After all this running around, you finally realized the right person was here all along."
Julian didn't respond.
I knew he needed time. And I was willing to wait.
For four years of college, I stayed by his side, loving him with everything I had. And slowly, he started to care. On our third anniversary, he posted a photo of us on his social media. Our fingers were laced together; we looked like a couple truly in love.
I thought I had finally won his heart. I never realized it was all just a beautiful dream.
Julian didn't come home that night.
The next morning, as I was heading to campus, I saw a crowd gathered at the main gate. As soon as they saw me, someone called out, "Vivian, someone's here for you."
I pushed through the crowd and saw her. Leaning against a Harley, a stranger with striking, androgynous features, long hair spilling over her shoulders. She was so beautiful it was almost confusing.
She looked up at me and smiled, an intoxicating mix of lazy and sexy that made my heart race for no reason.
"You're Vivian, right? I came here looking for you."
I eyed her suspiciously. "Can I help you?"
She walked toward me, and I caught the scent of violets, unique and captivating.
"My name is Violet Yang. I'm a fashion designer, and I'd like you to be my model."
She explained that she'd seen my photo at a friend's place and believed my look and presence were the perfect match for her new collection. So she flew all the way from London to find me.
I was flattered, but years of self-doubt made me want to retreat instantly.
Violet, however, was completely certain. "I trust my instincts."
Seeing my hesitation, she gave me her contact information and told me to take my time thinking it over. We agreed I’d give her an answer in three days. Then, she swung her leg over the bike and rode off, disappearing as coolly as she'd arrived.
I didn't know it then, but meeting her would change the entire course of my life.

4
The next time I saw Julian was the day after Amy's welcome party.
I was heading to the library with my laptop to work on my thesis when I ran into him right outside my dorm. Our eyes met, and an awkward tension immediately filled the air.
"Fancy seeing you here," I said, the greeting clumsy on my tongue.
Julian lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, and frowned. "I was waiting for you."
He hadn't smoked in a long time. The last time I'd seen him like this was after Amy rejected him.
I lowered my gaze. "You could have just called."
He paused. "Are you free? Let's get something to eat."
I nodded. "Okay."
The drive was silent, the atmosphere as stiff and uncomfortable as if we were two strangers on a first date.
Julian was the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."
I hadn't expected him to bring it up. Before I could even process what to say, I heard myself reply flatly, "It's okay."
A small, faint smile touched his lips.
I cursed myself internally. No matter what he did, the smallest gesture of kindness from him was enough to make me forgive everything. I hated that I loved him this much, that I was this powerless.
He drove me to the restaurant where he'd first asked me out. The waiter brought out a delicate cake and a bouquet of briar roses.
He carefully cut a slice and placed it in front of me. "It was wrong of me to bail on you like that," he said, his tone apologetic. "I wanted to make it up to you today."
I had no backbone when it came to him. Just knowing he still had me in his thoughts was enough to make the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile.
"But this has nothing to do with Amy," he added.
Hearing her name, my smile froze.
He continued, "Vivi, I need you to turn down Violet Yang's offer."
I didn't understand the connection, or how he even knew about Violet. I just stared at him, confused. "Why?"
"Because that opportunity was supposed to be Amy's."
That’s what he said.
Julian explained that Violet had only found me because she saw the anniversary picture he’d posted on Amy's phone. The fashion show was a major event for emerging designers. Winning the top prize meant securing funding to launch your own brand. Violet was the frontrunner, and being her model was a golden opportunity.
"So, she sent you?" I asked.
"Of course not!" he said quickly. "She's just too kind. She was obviously upset, but she still told me to congratulate you for her."
I didn't say anything. Just like in high school, once he started talking about Amy, he couldn't stop.
"She wants to be a model, and I have a hundred ways to help her. But she's stubborn, you know? She hates relying on anyone." He sounded like he was scolding her, but his eyes were filled with pure admiration.
I looked down and shoveled a spoonful of cake into my mouth. It tasted sickeningly sweet, almost bitter.
"Won't she be angry if you do this?" I asked.
He smiled confidently. "She won't be, as long as she doesn't find out. Just come up with a good excuse when you turn Violet down. Don't blow our cover."
I met his gaze, my heart aching. "But doing this will make me unhappy."
Julian looked stunned. "You? You can barely get through a class presentation without shaking. Since when are you interested in a fashion show?"
"I want to try," I said, a strange defiance bubbling up inside me. I wanted to know if I was really as good as Violet seemed to think I was.
His patience snapped. His voice turned cold. "Vivian, this isn't a discussion. Take a good look at yourself. In what world do you think you can compete with Amy? Why are you trying to punch so far above your weight?"
All the hurt and humiliation finally boiled over. Tears welled in my eyes. "Your heart and your mind are completely filled with Amy, but I'm your girlfriend right now!"
Julian avoided my eyes, muttering, "She's different."
"How is she different?"
He frowned, his gaze flickering. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
My heart shattered into a million pieces. I didn't care anymore. "You love her, so why are you demanding that I make sacrifices for her?"
He lost his temper. The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Because everything you have—everything—is because of my family!"

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