You Wanted Muscles I Wanted Peace

Lola and I had been at each others throats for as long as I could remember.

She said I was too pale, too softa pretty boy who didn't belong in a fistfight.

I told her she was a menace, a loudmouthed tomboy who didn't know how to shut up.

We traded insults for over a decade.

Until senior year, when the new transfer kid confessed to her.

She threw a sideways glance at me, smirked, and said, "Sorry, but you're just not my type."

The crowd of classmates started chanting, "Oh, come on! Let me guessyou only have eyes for guys like Dan?"

Lola let out a soft, lazy laugh, leaning back. "Yeah, actually. I like them with a bit of muscle, a bit of an edge. What of it?"

Later, we went to college together, got married, and spent a lifetime bickering. Just before she passed away in that sterile hospital bed, she held my hand, laughing like a little girl. "Look at you. Still so scrawny, and your cooking is still terrible. Next time around, Im definitely finding myself a handsome, built guy."

With tears burning my eyes, I gave her shoulder a gentle nudge. "Fine. Go find your muscle man. I'll find someone who actually lets me live in peace."

Then I opened my eyes. And I was right back to the day the transfer kid confessed to her.

"Lola, I... I really like you. Would you give me a chance?"

Lola raised her eyes, spared me a brief, unreadable glance, and looked away.

A slow smile curved her lips. "Sure. Let's give it a shot."

Zacks eyes went wide, instantly shiny with disbelief. "Really... seriously?"

Lola gave a careless shrug. "Yeah. You've got great abs, you're handsome. Definitely my type."

I clenched my fists in my pockets, my fingers trembling. The crowd around us erupted.

"Whoa, Lola! You actually like guys like Zack? We all thought you and Dan were a thing."

Lola lazily raised her eyelids, her lips twitching with amusement. "Whod want him? Hes like a pretty boy. Too soft, too fragile."

The classroom exploded into laughter.

"Dans good-looking, sure, but theres nothing to him. No meat on those bones."

"Exactly. Girls want a real man. Someone strong."

I stood there frozen, the air turning to ice in my lungs.

In my last life, at this exact moment, Lola had turned Zack down. Right in front of everyone, she had declared her feelings for me.

My teenage heart had pounded so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. That night, I tossed and turned under my covers, unable to sleep a single wink. The next morning, when I dragged my feet downstairs with dark circles under my eyes, Lola was already waiting by the porch. She had looked me up and down, clicking her tongue. "Did you spend all night robbing banks, Dan?" I had snapped at her, and she had just laughed.

After graduation, she was the one who asked me out properly. "You might be scrawny, but I guess you'll do. Want to be my boyfriend?" I playfully punched her arm. "Who'd want to be your boyfriend?" She had clutched her shoulder, laughing, calling me a stubborn idiot who could never just admit what he wanted.

Then college. Walking through autumn rain, kissing under the streetlights. Marriage right after graduation. A son, a daughter. Decades of beautiful, noisy, chaotic bickering. Once, we had a cold war that lasted a whole month. Everyone thought we were done. But Lola would just snap at them, "What do you know? This is foreplay." And then she'd turn to me, grinning, "Right, honey?"

Even on her deathbed, she was still teasing me, telling me she'd find a strong, handsome man in her next life. I thought she was just trying to get a rise out of me one last time.

I didn't realize she actually meant it.

I pulled myself out of the wreckage of my memories. Looking at Lola, I forced my voice to remain steady. "...As if anyone would want to date you anyway. Loudmouthed tomboy."

Then I turned on the rest of them. "And you guys? Half of you look like bloated pigs and the other half like starved monkeys. Youve got a lot of nerve talking about anyone else's body. Go look in a mirror before you open your mouths."

Without waiting for a response, I turned and walked out of the classroom.

If I stayed another second, the tears would have spilled over.

In the bathroom, I splashed freezing water onto my face over and over again. The cold droplets rolled down my jaw, soaking into my collar, freezing against my collarbone. I stared at the eighteen-year-old reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, raw.

This wasn't a dream. Lola and I had both come back. Only this time, she had decided I wasn't worth choosing.

When I walked back into the classroom, Zack was sitting in my seat next to Lola, looking entirely too comfortable. I stopped by the desk, my voice cold. "Move."

He bit his lip, casting a helpless look at Lola. "But... Lola told me to sit here."

Right on cue, Lola walked in, holding her insulated thermos. "I told him to sit there. He's my boyfriend now, so of course he sits next to me." She pointed toward Zack's old desk near the back. "Go sit over there."

When the teacher had first assigned seats, she was the one who had begged to sit next to me. She'd said, "You're too small, Dan. Someone's gonna bully you. I'm here to protect you."

I didn't say a word. I grabbed my backpack from my old desk, and under the stunned gazes of our classmates, I walked straight to the very back row.

"What is he doing? Is Dan going to sit with Maeve?"

"Even if he wants to, there's no way Maeve is going to let him."

Lola's brow furrowed, her eyes following me.

I tapped on the wooden desk in the back corner. The girl buried in her arms slowly blinked her eyes open, looking up at me. Her gaze was detached, cold, carrying a faint trace of annoyance at being disturbed.

"Can I sit here?" I asked.

She stared at me for a beat, then closed her eyes again, turning her face away. I pulled out the chair and sat down.

The whispers around the room didn't stop until the bell finally rang, plunging us into a tense silence.

I opened my textbook, but my mind was a chaotic mess. My eyes kept drifting toward Lola. She was resting her chin on her left hand, her gaze locked onto the side of Zack's face. A soft, contented smile played on her lips. She used to look at me just like that during lectures. Shed say, "You know when you're the most adorable, Dan? When you're actually paying attention to the teacher." After we got together, the look remained. "Dan, you're so pretty. I just want to kiss you." And after we got married: "Husband, I want to be with you in this life, the next life, and every life after that."

Suddenly, a packet of tissues appeared on my desk. I looked down, only to realize a dark, wet circle had bloomed on the page of my textbook. Maeve had already pulled her hand back, leaning lazily against her chair, looking straight ahead as if she hadn't done a thing. Her voice was a low, dry murmur. "If anyone walks in, they're going to think I bullied you."

Two lifetimes added up to nearly a century of living, yet here I was, crying like a baby in front of an eighteen-year-old girl. The grief was quickly swallowed by a wave of pure mortification. I wanted nothing more than to sink through the floorboards.

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Lola walked over, carrying Zack's backpack over her shoulder. Her tone was casual, almost indifferent. "Go on home without me. I'm walking with Zack today." She took two steps, then paused, looking back. "And don't you dare tell my parents I'm dating someone."

She turned back to Zack, her face lighting up with an effortless smile. "Come on, I'll take you to get those amazing churros down the street."

Lola loved those churros. In our past life, she dragged me there every single afternoon. But now, she had someone else to share them with.

I had spent the entire afternoon drowning in misery, but as I watched them walk away, something clicked. I understood now. Even if she had loved me fiercely in another life, that was a past that no longer existed here. I needed to let go. I needed to move forward.

I turned to my aloof new deskmate. "Hey. Want to get some hot pot? I know this place that makes the most incredible, numbing broth."

Maeve gave me a look like I had sprouted a second head. She swung her backpack over her shoulder and slipped past me, throwing a chilly line over her shoulder. "Are we friends?"

Brutally rejected, I walked out of the school gates alone. The silence was jarring. Since kindergarten, the walk home had always been a shared routine. In college, I walked her back to her dorm every single night. When we got married, I'd leave work early just to wait outside her office so we could commute together. How could someone who loved me that deeply suddenly flip a switch and become a stranger?

The frustration flared up, hot and sharp. I kicked a loose pebble on the sidewalk, sending it flying. "Selfish jerk!" I muttered.

The pebble soared through the air and struck the back of a head a few yards in front of me. The person stopped dead in their tracks and slowly turned around.

My stomach dropped. Maeve's eyes were like chips of ice as she stared at me. "Who are you calling a selfish jerk?"

My brain scrambled for an escape route. I pointed quickly at a stray golden retriever lounging by the brick wall. "The dog. I was talking to the dog."

The retriever blinked at us innocently, giving its tail a lazy wag. Maeves lips curved into a cold, dangerous smile. "You talk to dogs with rocks?"

"...It was a slip of the foot. I didn't mean to."

She walked back, stopping right in front of me. Her voice dropped to a quiet, threatening register. "Dan. Were you throwing that at me?"

I waved my hands frantically. "No, no! I swear! I was cursing out Lola. Really."

Maeve went quiet for a moment, her eyes searching mine with a strange, unreadable intensity. "Why were you cursing her out?"

"Because she's... a selfish jerk."

Maeve arched an eyebrow. "So. Lola dumps you, you call her a selfish jerk, and I get a rock to the head?"

I choked on my words. From an outsider's perspective, I had indeed been dumped. When I first realized I had traveled back in time, I wanted to scream with joy. I thought I was getting a whole second lifetime to love her. Who could have guessed shed be off eating churros with her new muscle-bound boyfriend?

I took a deep breath. "What do you mean she dumped me? We were never even together. Besides, a girl like hersomeone who forgets her promises, who betrays our... our friendshipshes not worth my time anyway."

A small, unexpected chuckle escaped Maeve's lips. "Right. Well, you still owe me an apology."

I hung my head. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"No."

She turned to walk away. On some bizarre impulse, I called out after her. "Let me buy you dinner to make up for it. That hot pot place really is amazing."

She stopped. She didn't turn around, but her cool voice drifted back to me. "Lead the way."

After sweating through a bowl of ridiculously spicy hot pot, I dragged Maeve to a street cart for fried chicken and skewers. The heavy weight in my chest finally began to lift, dissolved by the simple comfort of grease and spices. When I finally walked into my apartment courtyard, the first thing I saw was Lola sitting on a concrete bench. Beside her was a grease-stained paper bag of cold churros.

Seeing me, she stood up, her face instantly souring. "Dan, did you lose your way? Why did it take you so long to get home?"

I rolled my eyes and walked right past her. As our shoulders brushed, I said casually, "I was out having dinner with Maeve. Lost track of time."

A hand gripped my backpack strap, jerking me to a halt. Lolas voice exploded behind me, raw with anger. "What did you just say? You had dinner with Maeve?"

She spun me around, her eyes wide with sheer disbelief.

"You don't even know her! Why the hell are you having dinner with her?"

I yanked my strap out of her grip, my voice flat. "None of your business."

"None of my business?" Lola let out a harsh, disbelieving laugh. "Dan, are you losing your mind?"

"Since when is anything you do not my business? In preschool, you didn't even know how to wipe your own butt, and I had to do it for you! In first grade, you lost a fight and cried, and I went back and punched the kid for you!"

She rattled off a dozen childhood memories, her chest heaving. Watching her work herself into a frenzy, I felt a sudden, strange urge to laugh. "Who I eat dinner with is my choice. You and I are just neighbors, Lola. Lose the possessiveness."

"If you've got this much free time, go call your handsome boyfriend with the abs."

Lola ground her teeth. "Dan, you are unbelievable. You're just doing this to get back at me. I only said yes to Zack because"

"I know," I interrupted. "Because he has a six-pack."

I looked her straight in the eye. "And I went out with Maeve because shes gorgeous. Its nice to walk next to someone who actually looks good. Plus, shes quiet. She doesnt have a temper like a rabid dog."

Lolas face went dark, practically purple with rage. I ignored her, turned around, and walked into my building. But the moment the heavy glass door clicked shut behind me, the tears broke. Large, hot drops spilled over my cheeks.

It was so damn hard to let go.

The next morning, the moment I walked into the classroom, I found a hot cup of sweetened soy milk and a breakfast sandwich sitting on my desk. It was my exact orderextra sweet, light on the ice. Zack was standing by the edge of my desk, offering a timid, polite smile. "Hey, Dan. Lola bought too much breakfast this morning, so she wanted you to have this."

Before I could even open my mouth, Lolas voice drifted over from the desk behind him. "Zack, why are you wasting your breath? Just leave it there. If he wants to starve, let him."

She walked over, popped a straw into another cup of soy milk, and held it to Zacks lips. Her eyes were warm, almost sickly sweet. "Drink this one. I added extra sugar. Sweet, just like you."

Zack blushed furiously as he took the cup, and a few classmates nearby started whistling.

"Damn, Lola, since when did you become such a romantic?"

"Seriously, I didn't know you had it in you."

Lola smirked, her eyes casting a deliberate, sliding glance in my direction. "Depends on who I'm talking to."

I picked up the sandwich and the soy milk, walked over to the trash can, and dropped them inside with a heavy thud.

Lolas smug smile instantly froze on her face.

At lunchtime, the moment I sat down at a cafeteria table with my tray, two people slid into the seats directly opposite me. Lola was clinging to Zacks arm like a vine. She began picking the prime pieces of ribs from her tray and dropping them into his bowl, her voice practically dripping with artificial sweetness. "Eat up, babe. You need to keep those muscles fed."

Zack blushed, shaking his head. "It's too much, Lola. I can't finish all this."

Lola laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "If you can't finish, I'll eat your leftovers. It's not like we haven't shared food before."

The surrounding tables went quiet, several heads turning our way.

"Whoa, Lola, moving fast, aren't we?"

"Seriously, get a room, you two."

My grip on my fork tightened until my knuckles turned white. In our past life, Lola loved eating my leftovers. I was a notoriously picky eater, and shed always lecture me about wasting food. She would complain the entire time, but she'd pull my plate over and polish off every single bite. I lowered my head, forcing spoonfuls of rice into my mouth, chewing desperately to swallow down the bitter lump in my throat.

Lola suddenly looked up at me, her tone dripping with mock pity. "Dan, why are you eating all by yourself? Where's your pretty new deskmate? Did she dump you already?"

"None of your business," I muttered, keeping my eyes on my tray.

"Oof, still so touchy," she mocked. She turned to Zack, her voice loud enough for the whole row to hear. "See? I told you hes got a miserable temper. He doesn't have a fraction of your sweetness."

As the words left her mouth, a tray slid onto the table right across from me. Maeve sat down, completely ignoring the tension in the air. She picked up her fork and began to eat her vegetables, chewing slowly and methodically. Her shoulders were broad enough that she completely blocked my view of Lolas face. From behind her, I heard a sharp clatter of plastic.

"I'm done. This place is giving me a headache," Lola snapped.

She grabbed her tray and marched off, Zack scrambling to catch up with her. The remaining students in the cafeteria stared. I finished my meal in silence, then looked up at Maeve. "Thanks."

She wiped her mouth with a napkin, her expression as blank as ever. "You owe me a meal."

"...Didn't I just buy you hot pot yesterday?"

"One meal replaces another. Its a clean slate."

I stared at her, temporarily speechless. Who calculated debts like this? But looking at her, I realized she had just saved me from a massive amount of public embarrassment. "Fine. I'll buy you dinner another day."

She stood up, throwing a final line over her shoulder. "Don't flake on me."

That afternoon, I ran into Lola by the school gates. She was leaning against the concrete wall alone, holding a bottle of water. When she saw me, she straightened up. "Dan."

I didn't stop walking. She caught up in three quick strides, stepping directly into my path. "What?" I asked, exasperated.

She looked down at me, her throat bobbing as if she wanted to say a hundred things, but only one sentence came out. "Why aren't you taking the bus today?"

"I feel like walking. Good exercise."

"Then I'll walk with you."

"No thanks. Go walk your boyfriend home."

She winced, looking away. "He had to leave early today. Family stuff."

I didn't reply. I just kept walking. She fell into step beside me, unable to keep quiet for more than three seconds. "Since when did you and Maeve get so close? Youve only been sitting together for two days, and suddenly you know she's 'quiet' and 'sweet'? And now youre eating lunch together?"

Her voice was taking on a frantic, high-pitched edge. "Dan, don't tell me you actually like her? Shes not your type at all. She's impossible to get along with. She walks around looking like the whole world owes her a million dollars..."

I stopped so abruptly that she nearly crashed into my chest. "Lola. What is your point?"