Fog Lights Lead Me Nowhere

The night dense fog swallowed the city, I called Danny thirteen times. On the fourteenth try, a womans sobs came through.

Danny, Im scared. Please dont leave me.

He hushed me. Autumn, grab a cab. Sophies having a rough night.

Outside the hospital, I clutched my ultrasound. The doctor had warned the heartbeat was failing and urged me not to be alone. But he was busy comforting his childhood friend. Im here, he told her.

I forced out the words. Danny, Im at the hospital too.

Two seconds of silence, then coldness. Dont pull jealousy stunts. Sophies traumatized. She cant handle stress.

Her fragile voice drifted in. Autumn, dont blame him. Im useless, just reliving the crash.

Its not your fault, Danny said to her. Then he added, Youve always been stronger. Stop comparing yourself.

Fog coiled tighter around the lamps. By the time I found a cab, we crawled through the dark. Rounding a bend, high beams slashed through the window. My hands flew to my stomach.

My phone hit the floor, screen lit with his message. Sophies asleep. Ill come back tomorrow. Stop whining.

I remembered the night he won me over, fog just like this. Hed sworn, When you lose the way, Ill turn on my fog lights and find you.

Tonight, those lights passed me by. He was in the drivers seat, keeping someone else safe.

A deafening crunch of metal tore through the air. The massive inertia hurled me forward, and my forehead slammed brutally against the back of the front seat.

Before the blinding pain could even register in my skull, my arms had already locked in a death grip around my lower abdomen.

The driver, still pale and shaking, checked his crushed bumper before whipping his head around to ask if I was okay.

I slumped back against the leather upholstery. A cold sweat had already soaked through my blouse.

Down by my feet, my phone screen was still glowing with Danny's final text. Stop throwing tantrums.

A dull, sinking cramp twisted deep in my pelvis. I could feel something warm and wet slowly beginning to seep into my clothes.

With violent tremors racking my hands, I pulled up my call log and dialled emergency services.

The ER doctor took one look at the crumpled ultrasound report in my hand and furrowed his brow, asking why my family still wasn't here. He bluntly warned me that I was at high risk of a threatened miscarriage.

I told him my husband couldn't make it.

The doctor let out a heavy sigh, sliding the medical waiver across the metal table for me to sign.

My wrist wouldn't stop shaking as I gripped the pen. The metal nib scratched a jagged trail of black ink across the paper. Right beside that ink mark, a single, heavy drop of my own blood splattered onto the page.

My mind flashed back to three years ago. I had accidentally nicked my finger while chopping vegetables. It was barely a papercut.

Danny had abandoned a massive board meeting and practically sprinted home, rushing me to urgent care. He had hovered over the nurse like a hawk just for a simple bandage.

He had held my hand, his eyes red rimmed, swearing he would never let me set foot in a hospital again.

Now, I had lain in a sterile hospital bed for an entire night, while my husband kept another woman company.

When the morning sun finally burned away the fog, I forced my battered body to check out of the hospital. The doctor prescribed a mountain of medications to protect the pregnancy, repeatedly stressing the need for absolute bed rest.

The moment I pushed open my front door, I saw Danny's leather oxfords sitting neatly in the entryway.

He was lounging on the living room sofa, a cup of black coffee resting in his hand. Hearing the door, he turned his head, his gaze pausing on my face for a fraction of a second.

"Where were you last night?" His voice was cold, edged with a raspy exhaustion.

I swapped my shoes for slippers, shoving the plastic bag of pills deep into my coat pocket.

"I had to go to the hospital."

Danny set his coffee cup down on the glass table. He stood up, closing the distance between us, his eyes dark and heavy.

"Autumn, are you completely incapable of telling a convincing lie? Making a scene on the phone wasn't enough, so now you're using this pathetic excuse to test me?"

The faint, crisp scent of cedarwood radiating from him was tainted. Woven through it was the unmistakable, cloying fragrance of gardenia.

It was Sophie's signature perfume.

I looked at the raw impatience swimming in his eyes, and my chest tightened until it physically ached.

"I'm not testing you. I really was sick."

"Sick?" Danny let out a dark chuckle, his fingers reaching out to lightly pinch my chin. "You only ever get sick when Sophie is having a panic attack. I never realized you were this incredibly bitter, Autumn."

He dropped his hand and fished a black Amex card from his slacks, tossing it onto the table.

"Sophie was badly shaken up this time. I'll be spending more time at her place over the next few weeks to keep her grounded. Take this and go buy yourself something pretty. Just don't annoy me with these cheap stunts anymore."

The sleek black card sat quietly on the polished wood.

I lowered my eyes, my hand subtly brushing against the fabric covering my stomach. The sharp plastic corners of the pill bottles dug into my palm.

Without touching the card, I turned my back to him and walked up the stairs.

Just as I reached the landing, Danny's phone buzzed. He picked it up, his freezing tone instantly melting into something soft and warm.

"You're awake? I'll be right there."

The front door slammed shut, the sound echoing through the empty house.

I stood paralyzed on the steps, staring down at my trembling fingers. I knew, with absolute certainty, that he didn't care whether I lived or died anymore.

On the third day of my prescribed bed rest, Danny came home unusually early.

He had a maid deliver a couture evening gown to my room. It was tailored from midnight blue velvet, exactly the elegant style I usually wore.

He stood in the doorway of the walk-in closet, casually adjusting his silk tie.

"There's a charity auction gala tonight with our social circle. Put that on and come with me."

I leaned weakly against the headboard, the doctor's strict orders ringing in my ears. I looked at him, completely drained. "I'm still not feeling well. I'd rather stay home."

His hands paused on his tie. A deep frown etched into his face.

He crossed the room, towering over me.

"Know when to stop, Autumn. I've been swamped these past few days. There has to be a limit to your little tantrums. We have key investors at this gala, and as my wife, your absence is not an option."

Just to keep him from noticing my condition, I plastered on layers of makeup to hide my ghostly complexion. I zipped myself into the cinched waist of the gown, the tight fabric making my stomach pulse with a dull, warning ache.

The ballroom was a sea of crystal chandeliers and clinking champagne glasses.

As I walked into the venue with my hand resting lightly on Danny's arm, several socialites drifted over to exchange fake pleasantries.

That was when Sophie made her entrance.

She wore a flowing, pure white silk dress, her face sporting a carefully crafted, pitiful pallor.

She drifted over to us. Her eyes flicked down to where my hand rested on Danny's arm, a flash of grievance crossing her features before she smoothed it away.

"Danny. Autumn." Her voice was soft and breathy. "I just wanted to see if there was anything nice up for bidding."

Without missing a beat, Danny slipped his arm out from under my grip and shifted slightly to gently support Sophie's shoulder.

"Why did you come alone? The therapist said you shouldn't be in crowded spaces."

"It was just getting too suffocating at the apartment." Sophie kept her head bowed, her fingers nervously twisting the fabric of her skirt.

I stood off to the side, my arm suddenly dangling uselessly in the cold air.

A few wealthy wives nearby had already noticed the shifting dynamics. They were raking their eyes over me with subtle, mocking smirks.

Midway through the auction, the spotlight hit a breathtaking piece on the stage. A stunning sapphire necklace titled The Fog Beacon.

It was a custom piece I had pointed out to Danny over a year ago. The design symbolized a guiding light bringing you safely home. Back then, he had promised me he would win it for our third wedding anniversary.

The bidding opened at two million.

Danny raised his paddle.

The tight knot in my chest loosened just a fraction. I thought maybe, just maybe, he still remembered that tiny, insignificant promise.

As the price skyrocketed to six million, Sophie suddenly turned her head. She tugged lightly on Danny's sleeve.

"Danny, that necklace is gorgeous. Doesn't it look exactly like the lighthouse we used to watch at the beach when we were kids?"

Danny's gaze lingered on the velvet display box for a few seconds. Then, he raised his paddle again, shutting the room down.

"Ten million."

The crowd gasped. The auctioneer slammed the gavel.

When the white-gloved attendant brought the mahogany box over to our table, I instinctively reached out to take it.

But Danny bypassed my hands entirely. He took the box and turned directly to Sophie, pressing it into her hands.

"You've been so stressed lately. Keep this to play around with." His tone was casual, like he had just bought her a cheap trinket.

Sophie covered her mouth, looking completely overwhelmed. "Oh no, I couldn't possibly. Wasn't this supposed to be for Autumn?"

"It's just a necklace. She has plenty of jewelry." Danny didn't even spare me a single glance.

The women at the adjacent tables hid their giggles behind their champagne flutes, not even bothering to lower their voices.

"Being his legal wife looks like absolute torture. Having to give up a necklace she clearly wanted to the other woman."

"What do you mean, other woman? Everyone knows Sophie is the true love of his life. Did you see how he didn't even look at the wife?"

Their words were like fine needles, driving themselves inch by inch into my eardrums.

A wave of intense nausea hit me, closely followed by a sharp, dragging pain in my lower stomach.

I bit down on my lower lip so hard I tasted copper, gripping the armrests to force myself out of the chair.

Only then did Danny frown and look my way.

"Where are you going? It's almost over. Don't embarrass me by storming off now."

I stared into his handsome, completely detached face.

"The restroom." I turned on my heel and walked away.

The moment I pushed through the heavy doors into the empty hallway, my legs gave out. I pressed my back against the cold marble wall and slowly slid to the floor, completely drenched in a cold sweat.

I took a cab home alone that night.

After the gala wrapped up, Danny used the excuse that Sophie was feeling dizzy to personally drive her back to her place.

The next afternoon, I was sitting quietly in the living room trying to force down my pregnancy supplements when the front door swung open.

Danny walked in, with Sophie trailing right behind him.

She still had that timid, deer-in-the-headlights look, hovering in his shadow, but her eyes were eagerly darting around the expensive interior of my home.

Danny handed his suit jacket to a maid and turned to me.

"Sophie tends to overthink when she's alone in that apartment. The doctor suggested she be around familiar faces. I've told her to stay here for a few days."

The porcelain spoon in my hand froze mid-air. A drop of dark liquid splashed onto my skin, burning the back of my hand.

"This is our home." I looked up at him, my voice completely flat.

Danny walked over, looming over me with a hard glare.

"Can you stop being so unbelievably petty for once in your life, Autumn? This house is massive. What is the big deal if she takes up one room? You're the lady of the house, show a little grace."

I didn't answer. I just quietly set the bowl back onto the silver tray.

By mid-afternoon, the maids were clearing out the guest suite on the first floor for her.

Sophie wandered aimlessly through the hallways. She eventually stopped by the console table in the foyer, pulled open a drawer, and pulled out a small, woven leather protection amulet.

Two years ago, I had flown out to a remote monastery in the mountains. I had climbed thousands of stone steps, bowing my head in prayer the entire way up just to buy that charm for him. On the way down, I sprained my ankle, and Danny had carried me on his back for miles.

He used to keep it hanging on his rearview mirror. He said that no matter how late he was out networking, as long as he had my charm, he knew he would make it home safe.

He didn't drive himself much anymore, so the charm had ended up tossed in a drawer.

"Danny! This looks so familiar. Is this the one you used to keep in your car?"

Sophie trotted happily toward the staircase as Danny came down.

He barely glanced at it. "It's just a cheap piece of junk. Keep it if you think it's cute."

I shot up from the sofa. Moving that fast made black spots dance across my vision.

"Give that back to me." I walked right up to Sophie, staring dead at the amulet in her hand.

Sophie shrank back, hiding halfway behind Danny as her eyes welled up with instant tears. "I'm so sorry, Autumn. I had no idea it was yours. Here, please take it."

She reached out, offering it to me.

But the exact second my fingers brushed the leather, she let go.

The charm hit the hardwood floor. She let out a dramatic gasp and lunged down to grab it. As she dropped, her shoulder slammed violently into my chest.

I was already incredibly weak. The force of the blow threw me backward off balance.

My waist collided fiercely with the sharp corner of the heavy oak table. A sickening, blunt pain instantly radiated through my entire nervous system.

A sharp gasp tore from my throat.

Operating purely on instinct, Danny lunged forward to catch a stumbling Sophie, wrapping her securely in his arms.

By the time he bothered to look back at me, I had already collapsed onto the floor. Both hands were desperately clutching my stomach, my face drained of all color.

"What kind of act is this now, Autumn?" Deep annoyance flashed across his face. "She barely brushed against you. Who exactly is this little victim routine for?"

Sophie buried her face against his chest, sobbing loudly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't mean to!"

"It's fine, nobody is blaming you," Danny murmured, rubbing her back to calm her.

Then, a hot, thick liquid began to run down the inside of my thighs, soaking deeply into the pale fabric of my dress.

I looked up at Danny. My vision was already blurring with tears.

He finally looked down and saw the dark pool spreading onto the polished wood. His face went entirely slack.

He took a desperate step forward, reaching down to scoop me up.

Pulling together every last ounce of strength I had left in my body, I violently slapped his hand away.

My mind was already drifting away by the time they rushed me through the ER doors.

All I could register was Danny running alongside the gurney, his usually calm and calculated footsteps totally chaotic.

He gripped my wrist, his palm freezing cold against my skin. "Autumn, keep your eyes open. Just hold on."

But right as we hit the double doors of the surgical ward, his phone started ringing.

It was the custom ringtone he had set for Sophie.

Through half-closed eyes, I watched the deep crease form between his brows as he answered.

The terrified voice of our housekeeper blasted through the speaker. "Mr. Vance! Miss Sophie saw the blood on the floor and had a total breakdown. She's locked herself in the master bathroom and she's threatening to swallow pills!"

The veins bulged aggressively on the back of Danny's hand. He stared at the glowing red light above the operating room, then looked down at his phone.

"I'll be right there."

He muttered the promise into the phone, then turned to the nurse pushing my bed.

"I have a family emergency. I'll send someone over to handle the paperwork in a minute. Use whatever drugs you need to, just make sure she survives."

Then he turned and ran. He didn't look back a single time.

The surgeon walked in ten minutes later, his expression grim. He told me the baby was gone. They needed to perform a D&C procedure immediately to prevent sepsis.

Since my husband had abandoned the hospital, protocol required me to sign the consent forms myself.

I took the pen from the nurse with a trembling hand.

The moment I signed my name, the physical pain seemed to just vanish entirely.

The anesthesia hit my veins.

Three hours later, I was wheeled into a dark, standard recovery room.

Outside the window, the night sky was pitch black. The room was suffocatingly empty. Not a single light had been left on for me.

I blindly patted the bedside table until I found my phone, swiping to dial Danny's number.

It rang endlessly before he finally picked up. The background noise was deafening. Thumping bass and loud, cheerful shouting.

"What." His voice was laced with heavy irritation.

"Danny..." I whispered, my throat raw and scraping. "The baby is..."

"Can you just drop it for one goddamn night?" He cut me off, his words sharp and merciless. "Sophie finally calmed down, so our friends are throwing her a little party to keep her spirits up. You're done with your minor procedure, so just go to sleep. Stop trying to ruin the mood with your endless drama."

I opened my mouth, but my vocal cords refused to produce a single sound.

"Enough. Stop making a scene."

"I'll bring you those praline pastries from the bakery downtown tomorrow. Bye."

The line went dead.

I stared blankly at the dark screen of my phone.

Praline pastries.

He must have completely forgotten that I was deathly allergic to pecans.

Years ago, he had accidentally bought a box of them. I took one bite and almost went into anaphylactic shock. He had been so terrified he slapped himself across the face, swearing he would never, ever forget my allergies again.

Now, he didn't even remember what would kill me.

A nurse quietly pushed the door open, holding a clipboard.

"Miss, we just need your signature on the tissue disposal consent forms."

I took the pen smoothly. Stroke by stroke, I wrote down my name.

I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't even shed a single tear.

It suddenly hit me that every shred of obsession, every desperate hope I had clung to, had just evaporated into nothingness.

All my expectations, all the years I thought he loved me... it was just one incredibly long, pathetic delusion I had built in my own head.

The dream was over. It was time to wake up.

My phone lit up. A new text from Danny.

[Grow up and stop acting like a spoiled child.]

I stared at the glowing letters for a long time. Then, my thumbs moved across the keyboard.

[Okay. I'm done fussing.]