Golden Cracked Ashes

It was the ninth time his first love made him play rock-paper-scissors to choose where he spent the night.

Scissors. I threw paper. Chloe melted into his chest, voice dripping sweetness. I won, Liam. Youre mine tonight.

He kissed her forehead, then glanced back at me. Chloes mind is stuck at six after the accident. Try to understand.

She was twenty-four. Conveniently, she didnt recall shoving me down the stairs and ending my pregnancy.

Liam draped an arm around her, dropping it casually. Fifteenth of next month, we renew our vows. Consider it my apology.

His friends in the living room burst out laughing. Genius move. Keep Chloe happy and your wife hanging on.

Your wifes patience is unreal. Id have left years ago.

Where would she go? No family. Liams her whole world.

I kept my eyes on the floor, silent. Three days ago, Id signed a three-year deployment contract with my medical NGO. Frontline triage. By the fifteenth, Id be thousands of miles away.

...

The moment the divorce decree was handed to me, I stared at our two names printed on the paper for a very long time.

Liam was already walking out the double doors, laughing and joking with his friends.

He acted like we had just picked up milk from the grocery store, not legally ended our marriage.

I gripped the small document, my fingernails biting painfully into my palms.

Outside, someone was still running their mouth.

"Liam, are you not worried she is actually going to pack up and leave this time?"

"Leave?" Another guy scoffed. "Who else is she going to find after Liam? She is an orphan. He is the only safety net she has."

I walked out the doors right as the sentence finished.

The guy who said it saw me. He did not even have the decency to look embarrassed. He just grinned and gave me a thumbs-up.

"You are so understanding! Good for you."

Liam dropped his cigarette and crushed it under his boot before walking toward me.

The group of guys naturally parted to let him through.

He reached out and pulled me into his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head. His voice was low and gravelly.

"I appreciate you doing this."

Always those same words.

Along with the exact same excuse I had been fed for three years.

Chloe's older brother had served in the military with Liam. He took a fatal bullet meant for Liam.

The trauma supposedly caused Chloe to regress mentally, and Liam felt he owed her brother his life.

So I had to play along.

I had to play along with her twisted little games.

If she won, she was happy, and I was allowed to sleep in my own house.

If I lost, I was exiled.

Three years. Nine times.

I never won.

"It will be quick this time, I promise," he murmured, patting my back. "A month, tops. Then I will come pick you up and bring you home."

I remained silent.

Because this time, it was permanent.

I pushed gently against his chest, taking a step backward.

Liam raised an eyebrow, clearly assuming I was just throwing a minor tantrum.

He opened his mouth to pacify me, but his phone buzzed in his pocket.

It was Chloe.

He answered. Her frantic, tearful voice bled through the speaker.

Liams expression shifted instantly. He morphed into the gentle, devoted protector.

"Okay, okay. I am coming right back. Do not cry, please."

He hung up and looked at me, a flash of annoyance crossing his face.

"Chloe is having an episode. About our anniversary dinner tonight"

"Save it."

I cut him off.

"Go to her. I am going back to the apartment to pack my things."

He frowned.

"Pack what?"

"I am moving out."

"Sienna, do not be"

"Liam." I looked dead into his eyes. "What if I told you I am done waiting?"

He froze.

His phone started ringing again. Chloe, blowing up his line.

He glanced down at the screen, letting out a sharp breath of frustration.

"Just go back to the apartment. We will talk about this after I calm Chloe down."

He pulled open the door of his SUV, the engine roaring to life. The taillights vanished down the street in seconds.

He did not even wait for my answer.

I stood on the concrete steps of the courthouse, the evening wind whipping the hem of my dress around my legs.

I had crushed the divorce decree into a wrinkled ball in my fist.

Three years.

Every single time, he told me to "just wait until Chloe gets better."

When exactly was that going to happen?

He never had an answer.

A dull, heavy cramp pulsed in my lower abdomen. I grabbed the cold metal railing, waiting for the pain to pass.

Eight weeks pregnant. He had no idea.

I was planning to tell him at dinner tonight.

Whatever.

I let go of the railing, slowly walked down the steps, and flagged a yellow cab.

"Take me to the nearest women's clinic, please."

By the time the cab dropped me off at the house, the sky was pitch black.

The newly hired housekeeper physically blocked me from walking through the front door.

"Who are you? We do not accept uninvited guests."

Our older housekeeper, Maria, came running from the kitchen.

"Are you blind?! This is the missus!"

"It is fine. Do not yell at her."

My voice was hollow.

After all, I had been kicked out of my own home so many times over the last three years, it made perfect sense that the new staff did not recognize me.

I pushed the door open. The entire house was suffocating with traces of Chloe.

Pink throw pillows swallowed the living room sofa. Her crayon drawings were plastered across the fridge. Her white sneakers were front and center on the shoe rack.

My wedding photo with Liam had been taken down six months ago.

Because Chloe said looking at it "made her uncomfortable."

I walked into the storage closet and dug out a rusted metal tin.

Inside were a few unsent letters, a single photograph, and a handful of faded boarding passes.

In the picture, I was wearing a kevlar vest, my face covered in dirt, grinning widely outside a medical tent.

Liam stood next to me. His white coat was speckled with blood. He had that exhausted, profound gentleness in his eyes that only existed in a war zone.

I had done two truly brave things in my life.

The first was ignoring my family's outrage to join a frontline medical NGO at twenty-one.

The second was grabbing Liam by his collar and kissing him on a night when mortar fire collapsed half our compound.

An airstrike had leveled the medical bay.

I was buried under the rubble, two of my ribs fractured, my face slick with my own blood.

Liam dug me out with his bare hands.

Down in the bunker, with flares lighting up the sky, I was shaking from the agonizing pain. I grabbed his shirt.

"Kiss me. If we do not make it to morning, I at least want to die knowing the guy I like kissed me."

His eyes filled with tears, and he pressed his lips against mine.

Just once.

In that single second, I thought even if I died, I had won.

The photograph was suddenly snatched out of my hand.

"Ew, this girl is so ugly. Her face is filthy."

Chloe tilted her head, inspecting the photo, then looked at me.

"Liam looks so handsome, though."

Her eyes zeroed in on the metal tin in my lap, lighting up with greed.

"Wow, this box is so cute! Can I play with it?"

Inside the box was a silver bracelet. Liam had woven it out of surgical wire and spent bullet casings while we were deployed.

It was crude and crooked.

It was the most precious thing I owned.

Chloe had already grabbed it.

"Why are you hoarding this ugly piece of junk?"

With a flick of her wrist, she violently slammed the bracelet against the hardwood floor.

The cheap silver clasp snapped. The brass casings scattered across the room.

Liam walked through the front door at that exact second. Chloe instantly dove behind him.

"Liam! She was going to hit me! I just wanted to look at her things and she got so mean!"

Liam did not even look at the broken pieces on the floor.

"It is just a piece of scrap metal, Sienna. Is it really worth the drama?"

"Can you stop acting like a child and just be the bigger person?"

I dropped to my knees, picking up the bullet casings one by one.

My hands were shaking violently.

"Is that what you think of me? You think I am a bully?"

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

I gathered the scattered brass and the broken surgical wire into the palm of my hand.

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen trash can.

I let go.

The metal clattered loudly as it hit the bottom of the bin.

Liam stared at the trash can. For a split second, his stoic mask completely fractured.

His voice rose in sudden fury.

"What is your problem, Sienna?"

I looked at him with absolute, dead calm.

"You both said it was junk. So I threw the junk away. Is there an issue?"

His chest heaved as he struggled to find an argument.

Chloe tugged hard on his sleeve.

"Liam, just ignore her! Let's play a game!"

"Rock-paper-scissors. If I win"

She looked directly at my stomach, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.

"You have to make her get rid of the baby. Okay?"

The living room descended into a terrifying, suffocating silence.

I laughed.

Tears spilled hotly down my cheeks as I laughed.

Liams face darkened. For the first time, he did not immediately cave to her demands.

Chloe wrapped her arms around his bicep, shaking him violently.

"Liam! Say yes! I want to play!"

I wiped the tears off my face.

"Say yes, Liam. Add my unborn child to the pile of toys you use to keep her entertained."

"Just like our marriage."

Liam closed his eyes, his jaw clenched tight.

"I am sorry, Chloe. We cannot play that."

Chloe let out a piercing, hysterical scream. She grabbed a glass cup off the counter, hurled it at the wall, and ran barefoot over the shattered glass toward the stairs.

Liam did not hesitate. He sprinted after her.

As he ran past me, he froze for a microsecond.

His lips parted.

But he kept running.

Chloe's agonizing wails echoed down the staircase.

I stood completely alone in the center of the living room, surrounded by broken glass.

I went back to the apartment and turned on the lights.

A familiar international number lit up my phone screen.

"Miss, regarding the agreement you made with your father."

"Since your marriage to Mr. Davis did not survive the three-year probationary period, you are required to return to Switzerland and meet with the matches the family has arranged."

"We will send a car for you within the week."

"Understood, Arthur."

I hung up the phone, leaned against the heavy oak door, and slid slowly down to the floor.

Years ago, I had defied my father to marry Liam, and it resulted in this exact wager.

At the time, shrapnel had severed the tendons in Liams left hand. His career as a surgeon was over.

He was forced to take over his familys failing pharmaceutical company, working himself half to death.

I never told him about the wager because I did not want to add to his burden.

I never expected to lose so pathetically.

The front door lock suddenly beeped and clicked open.

Chloe stood in the center of my apartment.

In her hands, she held a pale celadon porcelain jar.

It was my mother's urn. Not all of her ashes, but a small handful she had asked me to keep with me so she could always be close.

The passcode to this apartment was only known by me and Liam.

"Put that down."

My voice was trembling violently.

Chloe smiled, looking utterly innocent.

"What is this? It is such a pretty little jar. I am going to take it home and put my candy in it!"

"Liam said what is yours is his, and what is his is mine"

I lunged forward to grab it from her.

She dodged backward. Her fingers intentionally slipped.

The urn dropped from her hands.

It shattered against the hardwood floor.

Pale gray dust plumed into the air, settling over the wood.

The world went completely, terrifyingly silent.

Chloe casually brushed the dust off her fingertips.

"Oops. It slipped."

Footsteps pounded down the hallway. Liam had chased her here.

He walked in to find me collapsed on my knees, the shattered porcelain, and Chloe cowering in the corner.

"Chloe, what happened?"

Her eyes instantly flooded with fake tears.

"She... she pushed me! I just wanted to look at the pretty jar..."

Liam grabbed my arm, yanking me upward.

"What is wrong with you?! She has the mind of a child! Why would you get physical with her?!"

My entire body shook uncontrollably. I pointed a trembling finger at the shattered pieces on the floor.

"That was my mother... Liam, that was the only thing I had left of my mother!"

"Why the hell did you give her the passcode?! Why did you let her touch my things!"

"It is just a damn jar! I will buy you ten of them!"

"Sienna, can you stop creating drama out of absolutely nothing!"

He pulled Chloe securely behind his back and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I fell back onto my knees. I gathered the broken shards, piece by piece, my hands shaking so badly they bled.

The ash clung to the cuts on my fingers. I could not get it back.

Mom.

I am so sorry.

A long, long time passed.

I picked up my phone and dialed the clinic.

"I need to schedule an abortion. Tomorrow. As early as possible."

The procedure took an eternity.

When the anesthesia finally wore off, the agonizing cramps hit me in relentless waves.

I lay in the sterile hospital bed for twenty-four hours. The next morning, I ignored the nurses' warnings and signed my discharge papers.

I had to leave.

As fast and as far as humanly possible.

Taking advantage of Liam being at work, I went back to the main house to grab my passport and documents.

Chloe was sitting on the living room rug, playing with a set of Chinese checkers.

I had bought them for her months ago, trying to buy some peace.

When she saw me, she looked up.

The timid, frightened little girl was completely gone.

Instead, she crossed her legs and gave me a chilling, triumphant smirk.

The smile made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"You already signed the divorce papers. Why are you still crawling back here?"

Her voice was sharp, articulate, and completely lucid.

It was not the voice of a six-year-old.

It was the aggressive, calculating taunt of a grown woman.

I froze in my tracks.

She stood up slowly. She opened the drawer of the coffee table, pulled out a medical file, and casually tossed it at my feet.

It was a hospital discharge summary.

Under the diagnosis, it read: Mild Anxiety Disorder. Fully Recovered.

There was no memory loss. No mental regression.

And on the signature line for the attending guardian... was Liam.

Black ink on white paper. Undeniable.

"You get it now?"

She leaned against the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was cured three years ago. The doctor signed off on it. Liam went to the follow-up appointment with me and signed off on it."

"Amnesia? The mind of a child?"

She let out a cruel, mocking laugh.

"It was an act, honey."

I stared at the three letters of his signature.

My vision began to blur.

He was not being manipulated.

He knew. From the very beginning, he knew.

Chloe walked right up to me, tilting her head.

"You must feel incredibly pathetic. Three years. Kicked out nine times. You played rock-paper-scissors nine times and never won a single round."

"But think about it. Every time you packed your bags and left, did Liam ever try to stop you?"

"He did not. Did he?"

"Because he never actually cared if you stayed or left."

Her tone was so light and airy, like she was discussing the weather.

"You were just a tool for him to clear his conscience. My brother took a bullet for him. He owes my family a blood debt for the rest of his life."

"What are you? His wife?"

She laughed out loud.

"You are just a minor footnote in his ledger of guilt."

I did not cry.

I did not scream at her.

I bent down, picked up the medical file, folded it neatly, and placed it back in the drawer.

From start to finish, I did not say a single word.

Her smug smile faltered for a second.

She clearly had not expected this reaction.

I walked out of the house and hailed a cab.

In the backseat, I pulled up the text Liam had sent me last night.

He wrote: "I am taking you to your ultrasound tomorrow. Remember to fast."

I typed out seven words and hit send.

"Do not bother. The baby is gone."

Then, I permanently deleted every single social media account I owned.

I snapped my SIM card in half and threw the pieces into a trash can at the terminal.

The airport was packed with travelers.

I sat at my boarding gate, my suitcase by my side.

The intercom announced flight updates in three different languages.

I reached over and touched my bare left wristthe exact spot where that bullet casing bracelet had sat for three years.

I whispered into the empty air.

"Goodbye, Liam. Forever."

When Liam read the text message, his hand froze, the coffee cup hovering near his mouth.

The baby is gone?

What a sick joke.

She wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world.

The second she found out she was pregnant, she refused to even wear heels.

She was just trying to punish him.

Once she cooled off, a few soft words would fix everything.

It was always like this.

He put his phone face down on the desk. He figured he would pick up some of her favorite pastries in a few days, apologize, and they would move past this.

But two days passed.

The apologetic phone call from Sienna never came.

Instead, while cleaning out Chloes room, he found a medical file shoved under some magazines.

Mild Anxiety Disorder. Fully Recovered.

Attending Guardian: Liam Davis.

The date was exactly three years ago.

But he had never signed this document in his life.

He stared at the piece of paper, his knuckles turning stark white.

He grabbed his phone and frantically dialed Sienna's number.

"We are sorry. The number you have reached is no longer in service"