Seven Years Guarding My Kidnapper’s Relics

Seven years. That was how long it took for Stockholm syndrome to hollow me out, leaving nothing but a ghost.

The psychiatrists deemed me a lost cause. I spent my days guarding an abandoned warehouse, surviving on hallucinations and dust.

The childhood sweetheart who once swore to save me had returned to the scene of the crime. He brought his new wife with him.

I stayed curled up in a pile of rotting hay, my arms locked desperately around a bloodstained men's jacket.

He sneered.

"What, still holding a vigil for that animal?"

"You didn't hesitate to stab me for that kidnapper back then. Why play the lunatic now?"

Before his words could echo away, his heavy leather shoe came down on the back of my hand.

I flinched from the sharp pain, lifting my clouded eyes to look at him.

"You came back. Are you here to take me home?"

The man gave a mocking laugh and pulled the woman beside him closer.

"Take you home? Keep dreaming."

"Looks like you've stayed in this filthy place so long you can't even understand human speech anymore."

I blinked at him blankly, then pointed a trembling finger at the tally marks scratched into the concrete wall.

"Oh... well, could you keep your voices down, please?"

"My husband is still sleeping. He has a bad temper."

With that, I turned away, reaching for a chipped porcelain bowl to catch the rainwater dripping from the rusted roof.

A dull thud sounded right behind me.

Declan crushed the cracked bowl under his heel.

Dirty water splashed onto my faded hospital gown, dripping down my pant legs into the mud.

I did not get angry. I did not even look up at him.

I dropped to my knees. Ignoring the jagged porcelain slicing into my palms, I frantically scrubbed at the puddle with my frayed sleeves.

"Can't be dirty... Will likes it clean... It has to be clean..."

I muttered the words in a feverish loop.

The grime on the floor mixed with my own blood, staining my cuffs red and brown. But I did not dare to stop.

Will told me that if strangers came, I had to scrub the floors. Otherwise, they would think our home was disgusting and burn it to the ground.

A scoff drifted down from above.

Vivian covered her nose delicately.

"Look at her, Declan. Even completely out of her mind, she's still cheap to the bone."

She adjusted her designer tweed jacket, stepping carefully to avoid the mud.

"Wait... what is she hiding in that hay? Is that a man's coat?"

My hands froze. The blood in my veins turned to ice.

I scrambled backward on my hands and knees, throwing my entire body over the black windbreaker buried deep in the straw.

It was the very last thing Will left me. It still bore the blood from the day he died.

"Don't touch it! It's mine! Don't touch it!"

A low, guttural growl tore from my throat. My eyes were wide, practically bulging from their sockets in sheer panic.

Declan had been watching with cold indifference, but Vivian's words drew his gaze to the edge of the fabric peeking out from beneath me.

It was a cheap, worn-out piece of clothing, yet I was guarding it with my life.

Declan's expression darkened instantly.

"Move."

His voice was quiet, dripping with absolute zero chill.

I shook my head violently, curling into a tight ball, trying to shield the jacket with my spine.

"Please... It's Will's..."

"It's the only thing he has left..."

"Will?"

Declan chewed on the name. A sudden, explosive violence shattered the ice in his eyes.

He closed the distance in two strides, grabbing a fistful of my matted hair and yanking my head back.

The tearing agony in my scalp forced hot, involuntary tears down my cheeks.

"Bonnie, you really are pathetic."

"For a criminal who kidnapped you, a piece of trash who abused you, you've been playing the grieving widow in this dump for seven years?"

"I said, move!"

He violently shoved me aside. I flew backward, slamming hard against the unforgiving concrete wall.

My organs felt like they had ruptured.

Ignoring the blinding pain, I clawed at the dirt, desperately trying to crawl back.

But Declan already had the jacket.

He held it by two fingers, his face twisted in disgust. It smelled of Will, of damp mildew, and of old, rusted blood.

"This is what your little lover left behind?"

"What are you keeping it for? To sniff it?"

Click.

The flame of a silver lighter danced at his fingertips.

He was going to burn Will.

The moment that thought registered, the fragile string that had held my sanity together for seven years snapped.

"No!"

I launched myself off the ground like a wild animal, throwing myself at Declan. I opened my mouth and sank my teeth deep into his wrist.

I bit down with everything I had.

The hot, metallic taste of blood flooded my mouth.

Declan let out a hiss of pain. His hand jerked, and the jacket fell to the dirt.

With his free hand, he backhanded me across the face.

The crack echoed through the warehouse.

He put his entire weight behind it. I was thrown several feet, the right side of my face instantly going numb. A high-pitched ringing took over my ears.

My mouth filled with blood. I spat it out into the dirt, a loosened tooth tumbling out with the red foam.

Declan stared at his wrist. The bite marks were deep enough to show bone. His eyes turned murderous.

He stalked toward me, driving the hard toe of his leather shoe into my cheek, grinding my face into the concrete.

My cheekbone popped under the pressure.

"Feeling brave now, Bonnie?"

"Where was this fight seven years ago when those bastards were passing you around? Why didn't you bite them?"

"I gave you everything. I handed you my fucking heart, and you shoved a knife into me for that piece of trash."

"And now you want to kill me over a filthy rag?"

"You really are nothing but a rabid dog."

He pressed down harder. My jaw felt like it was going to shatter.

Forced against the freezing floor, my line of sight fell directly on the discarded jacket.

Thank God. It wasn't burned.

A sudden, warped smile stretched across my distorted face.

Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, sinking into the dust.

"He... never... hit me."

Will never laid a hand on me. Even when the episodes took over and I bit him, he would just stroke my hair and slip a vintage butterscotch caramel into my palm.

Those words completely obliterated whatever was left of Declan's restraint.

He yanked his foot back, laughing like he had just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"Good. Fantastic."

"Since you love this dump so much, since you love that dead man so much."

He pulled out his phone and dialed.

"Bring the bulldozers in."

"Right now. Level this entire place to the ground."

"I want absolutely nothing left!"

The deafening roar of heavy machinery soon shook the ground outside. A massive iron bucket smashed into the fragile brick walls.

Dust and debris rained down.

Declan wrapped an arm around Vivian, pulling her back to a safe distance. He looked down at me from his pedestal.

"If you love him so much, hold onto that garbage and get buried with him."

I did not beg for mercy. I simply crawled over to the jacket, pulling it against my chest, wrapping my arms around it as tight as I could.

Just like Will had wrapped his arms around me in the fire seven years ago.

I closed my eyes, burying my face in the mildewed collar.

Don't be afraid, Will.

It's my turn to protect you.

The iron bucket never crushed me.

Right before the ceiling collapsed, rough hands grabbed me by the arms and dragged me out.

I thrashed wildly, my fingernails digging into the dirt until they tore and bled.

"I won't go! That's my home! Will is still inside!"

"Let me go! Please! He's scared of the dark! He'll be so scared all alone!"

No one listened to my screams.

Declan watched with dead eyes as they shoved me into the trunk of a car.

The lid slammed shut. Absolute darkness consumed me.

My body went into violent spasms. I curled into the tightest corner, hugging my knees, my teeth chattering uncontrollably.

"Don't kill me... I'll be good... I'll take my medicine..."

"Will, save me..."

When the car finally stopped, my clothes were soaked in cold sweat.

The trunk opened. The glaring sunlight made me cower.

A hand reached in and dragged me out by the collar.

"We're here. Take a good look."

Declan's voice came from above.

I squinted, my vision slowly coming into focus.

It was a sprawling mansion. Wrought-iron gates, perfectly manicured lawns, and red wedding banners taped to the double doors.

I froze.

Seven years ago, I had clung to Declan's arm, pointing at this exact plot of land.

Declan, we're going to build a house right here. We'll get married. We'll have kids.

Now, the house was built. The wedding banners were up. But I was not the bride.

Vivian linked her arm through Declan's, smiling sweetly.

"Bonnie, this is our new home. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Declan said the most dangerous place is the safest place."

"Keeping you right under our noses is the best way to look after you."

Look after me?

I stared at her, my mind a blank static screen.

Declan said nothing. He took a heavy metal chain from one of the guards. A small silver bell hung from the links.

"Since you're here, you learn the rules."

Click. The metal cuff locked tightly around my ankle.

The other end of the chain was bolted to a heavy marble pillar in the foyer.

It gave me just enough slack to reach the edge of the living room, but not enough to step out the front door.

"What is this?"

I stared down at the chain. The little bell chimed sharply as I shifted my weight.

"To keep you from wandering."

Declan crouched down, patting my bruised cheek.

"You loved playing the lunatic in that warehouse, right?"

"From now on, you live in this hallway. You can be our watchdog."

Staff bustled in and out, carrying Vivian's endless designer luggage.

They cast disgusted glances at me as they passed, their whispers loud enough to hear.

"Is that the heiress of the Sterling family? She looks like a stray."

"I heard her brain is rotted. Fell in love with the freak who kidnapped her."

"Mr. Pierce is too kind, letting trash like that stay."

The words washed over me, leaving no ripples.

Compared to the electroshock therapy at the asylum, at least there was no buzzing current here.

I curled up on the edge of the Persian rug, clutching Will's jacket.

Vivian walked over holding a crystal glass of water. It was the same glass Declan had just drank from.

"You must be thirsty, Bonnie. Have some water."

I stared at the clear liquid. My throat was burning, but I did not move.

Will told me never to drink from strangers. He said they hide sleeping pills in the water, and if I drank it, I would be sold away.

I swatted my hand out.

The glass shattered. Water soaked the front of Vivian's pristine dress.

She shrieked, instantly looking toward the living room.

"Declan! I just wanted to give her a drink!"

Declan stormed into the hallway, his fingers snapping around my jaw like a vise.

"Bonnie! You think you're still some high-class princess?"

"Vivian offers you water and you throw it?"

"Then you don't drink!"

Right in front of me, he pulled Vivian in by the waist and crushed his mouth to hers.

It was a deep, wet kiss.

The sound of their lips echoed in the hollow foyer.

I ignored them, my eyes fixed on the antique grandfather clock against the wall.

The second hand ticked forward steadily.

Seven o'clock.

Back at the warehouse, seven o'clock was medicine time. Will would always feed me.

Even though they were expired painkillers, he would crush them into powder and mix them into a piece of butterscotch.

"Seven o'clock..."

I mumbled to myself, my gaze drifting right through the kissing couple.

"Will needs to give me my medicine."

"If I don't take it, my head hurts... Will..."

Declan's body went rigid. He tore himself away from Vivian, his head snapping toward me.

He marched to the wall and ripped the clock off its hook.

The heavy timepiece crashed at my feet. Shards of glass exploded, one slicing a deep cut across my cheek. Warm blood trickled down my neck.

I didn't feel the pain. I only felt sorrow that the clock was broken. Now I couldn't tell the time.

Declan's eyes were bloodshot. He roared at me, the veins in his neck bulging.

"Will! Will! Always fucking Will!"

"Open your goddamn eyes and look at me! I am Declan!"

"That kidnapper is dead! He's been a pile of rotting bones for years!"

"Nobody is going to feed you medicine! Nobody is going to give you candy ever again!"

"Wake the hell up!"

The ringing of the bell woke me.

Declan was yanking on the chain, dragging me off the floor.

"We're hosting a celebration banquet tonight. You're the lady of the house... Oh wait, no. You're the watchdog."

He tossed a bundle of fabric at me.

It was a French maid costume. The skirt was barely there.

"Put it on."

I refused.

Will didn't like it when I wore revealing clothes. He said a girl had to protect herself.

"I won't... It's cold..."

I hugged my knees, shrinking back against the pillar.

Declan sneered.

"No? Then you can go out there and serve the guests naked."

Trembling violently, I pulled the costume on.

The neckline plunged deep, exposing my collarbones, and laying a thick, jagged knife scar bare for the world to see.

The banquet hall was ablaze with crystal chandeliers and champagne towers.

Once upon a time, I walked these floors as the Sterling heiress.

Now, I was carrying a silver tray, weaving through the glittering crowd like a ghost.

People recognized me. They covered their mouths, stepping back to mock me.

"Oh my god, is that Bonnie? Look at the state of her."

"I heard she was the warlord's wife up in the mountains for seven years. Wonder how many guys had a turn."

"Disgusting. Why does Declan keep her around?"

I kept my head down, staring obsessively at the marble floor patterns.

As long as I didn't look at them, they didn't exist. Will taught me that. When bad people are around, shut your ears and close your eyes.

"Hey, pour me a drink."

A foot shot out into my path.

I couldn't dodge in time. My balance vanished, and I crashed hard into the nearest person, the tray of red wine flying from my hands.

The dark crimson liquid splashed directly onto Vivian's custom white evening gown.

She let out a piercing scream.

"My dress! Declan had this flown in from Paris!"

She whipped around and slapped me across the face with everything she had.

My vision flashed white. I collapsed onto the floor, my ears ringing violently.

The guests crowded around, pointing, calling me blind, saying I did it on purpose.

Declan parted the crowd and stepped forward.

He looked at Vivian's ruined dress, then down at me, pathetic and sprawled on the tiles.

"Kneel."

He issued the command.

"Clean her shoes."

I looked up at him in utter disbelief.

There was nothing but pure, unfiltered disgust in his eyes.

I stayed frozen.

He lifted his foot and drove his heel into my calf, grinding down with his weight.

"Do you not understand English? Wipe!"

The blinding pain broke me.

My hands shook uncontrollably as I grabbed a napkin and reached out to wipe the wine and dirt off Vivian's rhinestone heels.

I scrubbed mechanically. Scrub, scrub. Until...

My eyes locked onto Vivian's ankle.

There was a tattoo.

A skull with crimson red eyes.

My pupils dilated to pinpricks.

Deep in my fractured memory, I saw Will waking up from a night terror, his hands signing frantically in the dark:

That bad woman... She has a dead man's head on her foot... She is the one who hurt us...

It was her.

The masked woman from seven years ago. The one who ordered the kidnappers to execute me.

The woman who caused Will to take a bullet through the chest to save my life.

My mind might be broken, but that symbol was burned into my soul.

"It's you... You killed him!"

I shrieked, a sound barely human, and lunged. My fingernails dug violently into her skin, clawing desperately at the tattoo.

I wanted to rip that piece of skin right off her leg.

"Ah! Murder! The psycho is trying to kill me!"

Vivian shrieked, kicking wildly. The guests screamed and scattered.

They didn't know what I was clawing at. They just saw a rabid dog attacking its master.

Declan kicked me squarely in the chest.

I flew backward, the back of my head cracking against the hard floor. Black spots swarmed my vision.

The impact tore the top buttons of the uniform open.

The jagged scar, stretching from my collarbone all the way down to just above my heart, was suddenly exposed under the glaring chandeliers.

The entire ballroom went dead silent.

A collective gasp sucked the air from the room. Even Declan froze.

His eyes locked onto the scarred flesh.

Seven years ago, when I stabbed him, it was in the stomach.

But this scar... was directly over my heart.

One centimeter deeper, and I would have been dead.

He slowly crouched down, his hand trembling as he reached toward the mark. His fingers stopped just inches from my skin.

"How did this happen?"

His voice was hoarse, fractured.

"For that animal, you threw your own life away? You took a knife for him?"

"Bonnie, was it worth it? Huh?!"

My heart spasmed, sending waves of agony through my chest.

I curled into a tight ball, cold sweat matting my hair to my forehead.

But in the haze of the pain, the hallucinations returned.

I saw a figure standing beneath the chandelier.

He was wearing his black windbreaker, covered in blood, but he was smiling at me.

He was waving. He was telling me I did a good job.

Staring into the empty air, looking past all the disgusted faces around me, I gave that shadow a tender smile.

"Will... it doesn't hurt."

"Really... it doesn't hurt at all."

"Look, I protected our secret."

"Let's see how long you can keep this act up!"

Declan didn't even wait for the banquet to end. He dragged me out by the arm and threw me into the car.

A thunderstorm was raging outside. Lightning tore across the black sky.

The car sped directly into the mountains.

It was the mountain where the kidnapping happened. The desolate peak where I had secretly buried Will.

I realized what he was doing. Panic seized my throat. I slammed my fists against the windows.

"No! Stop the car! Declan, stop!"

"You can't go there! You'll wake him up!"

He ignored me completely. The SUV skidded to a halt on a muddy, unpaved trail.

He dragged me out into the torrential rain and threw me into the mud.

Several bodyguards were already waiting, holding iron shovels.

It was Will's grave. There was no headstone. Just a small mound of dirt.

And a crude cross I had carved from a tree branch.

"Dig!"

Declan barked the order.

"No!"

I dropped to my knees in the mud, slamming my head against the ground at Declan's feet.

One. Two. Three.

My forehead struck the sharp rocks. Blood mixed with the freezing rain, washing down over my eyes and blinding me.

"Please... Declan, I'm begging you..."

"You can hit me, you can kill me, just leave him alone..."

"This is the only home he has left..."

The once-proud heiress of the Sterling family was grinding her dignity into the mud for the peace of a dead man.

Declan stood under a black umbrella, staring down at me with absolute zero empathy.

"Keep digging."

The sound of shovels biting into the earth. Scrape. Toss. Scrape.

Finally, a hard thud. They hit something.

There was no coffin.

Just a rusty butter cookie tin.

That was Will's "urn." It held the few fragments of bone that remained after the fire.

The bones I had risked my life to dig out of the ashes.

A bodyguard handed the tin to Declan.

He pried the lid off violently.

Inside, resting among the charred bone fragments, were several blackened, melted butterscotch candies.

And a yellowed photograph.

The photo was facedown. Scrawled across the back in childish, crooked handwriting was a single line:

[Brother, let her go.]

Declan's entire body jolted.

He recognized that handwriting.

I didn't know what was going through his head. I only knew he was ruining my Will.

I threw myself at him, snatching the tin from his hands.

He instinctively reached to grab it back.

I scooped up a clump of the spoiled candy, mixed with dirt and bone dust, and shoved it into my mouth.

Will left it for me.

It was mine. No one could take it from me.

Declan roared.

"Spit it out! Are you insane, Bonnie?! It's toxic!"

He lunged, forcing his fingers into my mouth to pry my jaws open.

He was terrified.

Terrified of this broken version of me, a woman so far gone she would swallow a dead man's bones and rotted candy just to keep them safe.

"Spit it out!"

His hands were shaking. His voice was breaking.

I clamped my jaw down with everything I had. My teeth tore into my own tongue, but I refused to let go.

His fingers stirred the foul sweetness around, and it began to melt down my throat.

Bitter. Astringent. The unmistakable taste of death.

My teeth shredded his fingers. Blood poured from his skin, but as he stared into my manic, wild eyes, he froze.

I swallowed.

I swallowed the ashes, the candy, and seven years of unendurable agony.

I released my bite. My mouth was smeared with his blood and the black residue of the caramel.

Looking at the panic and horror slowly consuming the man in front of me, a dark sense of irony bubbled up in my chest.

Seven years of silence erupted.

I screamed at him, my vocal cords tearing:

"It was you!"

"He saved me! And you ordered them to shoot him!"

"That was your brother! You murdered the brother who saved your fiance!"

"You're a murderer, Declan!"

A massive crack of lightning split the sky, illuminating Declan's ghostly white face.

He stumbled backward, collapsing into the mud. The photograph slipped from his bleeding fingers, landing softly in a puddle.

The handwriting on the back screamed up at him.

"No... that's impossible..."

Watching him finally break, I wanted to throw my head back and laugh. But a sudden, violent cough tore through me, and a mouthful of dark blood splattered across the dirt.

The world went black.

I fell straight backward into the open, empty grave.

The rain swallowed me whole.

I'm coming to keep you company, Will.