We All Have a First Love

To spite his first love, the A-list actor Sean Walters married me.
For three years, they remained tangled up in each other’s lives.
They embraced and kissed on set, whispered sweet nothings in interviews.
The internet said I was the pitiful stand-in.
I never got angry. I just smiled and helped him deny every rumor.
Until I got pregnant by accident and terminated it without telling him.
He was sick with a furious, heartbroken rage, demanding to know why.
I stroked the lines of his face and answered calmly, “Because I don’t love you.”
The man I love is his dead brother.

1.
The whole world knew Sean Walters married me to make Stella Ross jealous.
They had a fight right before their wedding, and Stella left the country in a huff.
Sean didn’t chase her. He turned around and married me instead.
I wore a wedding dress that wasn’t mine and married a man who didn’t love me.
Everyone said that the moment Stella came back, Sean would throw me away.
But in our third year of marriage, it seemed like Sean was starting to fall for me.
He would make me breakfast in bed, coax me awake with soft words, and kiss my lips when I pouted. In our most tender moments, we were lost in each other. In the dark, he would whisper temptations in my ear. “My sweet girl, give me a child. One just as sweet as you.”
We were like any other ordinary, loving couple.
Until the day I actually got pregnant.
Before I had the chance to tell him, Stella Ross came back.
On that day, they got back together.

2.
The day Stella returned was the night of their college reunion.
I heard her family had gone bankrupt and she was hitting up everyone for money.
When Sean led me into the room, we saw some rich classmate forcing drinks on her. A hundred grand for every glass she finished, he said.
Stella choked and her eyes streamed with tears, but she forced a smile and downed every single one.
When she saw Sean, a flash of panic crossed her face. It must have been the humiliation. She quickly looked down.
Someone in the crowd jeered, “Stella, if you need money, you should be begging our superstar Sean.”
“Yeah, with your history, you roll around in his bed a few times, he’s not gonna be cheap with you.”
Sean shot the man a glacial look. “Cut the crap,” he said slowly, his voice lethally soft.
A cigarette dangled from his lips as he leaned against my shoulder. “Anyone who pisses off my wife can shut up and get the hell out.”
Everyone laughed, calling me “Mrs. Walters,” saying how lucky I was that Sean doted on me so much.
No one knew that if Stella hadn’t shown up, Sean wouldn’t have even been here tonight.
Stella stared at me, biting her lip so hard it turned white, fighting back tears.
The man who’d been plying her with drinks put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it slowly. “What now?” he purred. “Looks like the great Sean Walters doesn’t want you anymore. But that’s okay. He doesn’t want you, but I do.”
“If you’re willing to strip down and show me a good time in bed, I’ll give you a little spending money. How about it?”
Sean crushed the cigarette in his hand. His face, already cool, turned to ice.
He still cared. It was written all over him.
Stella, her eyes shimmering with tears, looked up at Sean. “I won’t,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I’ll only ever love one person in my life. Even if he doesn’t want me anymore, I won’t let anyone else touch me.”
Sean’s hand on mine tightened, his fingers digging into my skin.
The classmate, his pride wounded, laughed and called her a bitch. “Who do you think you are, some kind of saint? Fucking hell, I offer you a way out and you spit in my face. Fine. I’m screwing you tonight whether you like it or not.”
He grabbed Stella and started dragging her towards the door. She was weak from the alcohol, stumbling against him, her struggles half-hearted.
Sean’s eyes were locked on her. I could see it then. He was ready to kill for her.
Just as they were about to leave, Sean finally broke. He strode forward and kicked the man holding Stella to the ground. He pinned him there, punching him again and again.
His eyes were bloodshot, his voice a vicious snarl. “You touch her again, and I’ll cut off your filthy hands!”
The room descended into chaos.
Someone was filming. I quickly grabbed Sean’s sleeve, trying to get him to stop.
He whipped his head around, his voice dripping with venom. “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?”
I froze, then slowly let go.
Stella threw herself into his arms, sobbing. “Sean, don’t fight for me! If you get hurt, it’ll kill me. I was so scared… so scared you really didn’t want me anymore…”
Sean didn’t push her away. He held her tight, shielding her from the world.
In front of everyone, he walked out with Stella Ross.
And left me behind.

3.
Sean didn’t come home that night.
At dawn, Stella posted on social media. “You said you’d never hold another woman’s hand again.”
The post included a picture of two hands, fingers intertwined. The man’s hand had a tiny, crimson mole on the back. It was Sean.
And I was the other woman whose hand he would never hold again.
Within ten minutes, the post was trending.
My haters flooded her comments. “Go, queen! You and Sean are the perfect couple! You have to get back together!”
“Morals out the window, I’m shipping this! I just can’t stand to see that scheming bitch Vivian happy!”
So many people were waiting to see me humiliated.
A few of his loyal fans tried to defend me. “Bro, that’s not you, is it? I’ve been a fan for years, I know how good Vivian is to you. You can’t do her dirty like this!”
Sean and I had numerous endorsement deals as a couple. The penalty for a scandal was astronomical.
His agent couldn’t reach him, so she called me, begging me to do some damage control, to lie and say we were together.
I scrolled through my camera roll and realized, with a pang, how few photos we had together. In the handful that existed, I was the only one smiling.
Finally, I chose a photo from a long time ago. Sean, sitting under a desk lamp, reading a book. The soft glow of the lamp enveloped him, making him look so much like the man who always appeared in my dreams, the one who made my heart ache.
The moment I posted it, comments poured in.
“See? Sean’s at home with his wife! Anyone who says he’s cheating, I’ll rip your head off!”
Everyone started attacking Stella, calling her a shameless, attention-seeking liar.
Until, a few minutes later, Sean retweeted Stella’s post.
Under the picture of their clasped hands, he wrote: “It was me.”
He calmly admitted the truth, exposing my carefully constructed lie.
Once again, for her, he threw me away.
Stella’s fans stormed my page, laughing at me. “LMAO, busted! Sucks to be you, you lying bitch.”
“Stella gave you three years and you still couldn’t lock him down. Pathetic.”
Who ever said I wanted Sean’s heart?
I deleted every trace of him from my phone.
I wanted a divorce.

4.
The next morning, the studio called me in to deal with the PR crisis.
As luck would have it, I ran into Stella the moment I arrived. Sean must have brought her, unable to bear being apart from her for even a moment.
She apologized immediately. “Vivian, I’m so sorry about last night. I was drunk and posted something stupid, and Sean just went along with my nonsense. We caused you so much trouble.”
“I already told him off,” she continued, her voice dripping with false concern. “He’s always taking my side, never thinks about you. Such a typical man, so clueless.”
“And those things people are saying online, that you’re my stand-in… it’s just ridiculous, isn’t it?”
“They have no idea how grateful I am to you, for taking care of Sean all these years…”
She gave me a sickeningly sweet smile.
I smiled back. “I’m Sean’s wife. A wife taking care of her husband doesn’t require thanks from an outsider. You, on the other hand, being called a homewrecker all night… you mustn’t let it get to you.”
Her expression flickered. She looked me up and down, her eyes landing on the ring on my finger.
“Vivian,” she said, her smile returning, sharp as glass. “You’re wearing my wedding ring. You should give it back.”
She reached for my hand. I was done. I yanked my arm back, accidentally hitting her in the face.
Suddenly, she swung her designer handbag at my head. The metal clasp caught my forehead, drawing blood. The force of the blow made my ears ring.
I raised my hand to strike back, but my wrist was caught from behind.
Sean. He had appeared out of nowhere. His voice was ice. “Vivian Shaw, you dare touch her and see what happens.”
When I turned, he saw the blood on my face. He froze for a second, then frowned at Stella. “You did this?”
Tears welled in Stella’s eyes as she shook her head. “Sean, she called me a homewrecker and tried to hit me! I was just trying to get away, my bag hit her by accident! I didn’t mean to, I’ll apologize!”
The moment she cried, Sean melted. He stroked her hair, praising her. “Good girl. If anyone tries to hit you, you hit them back. As long as I’m here, you don’t have to apologize to anyone.”
A sudden, sharp pang of envy hit me. The truth was, I cried easily too. But the person who used to wipe away my tears was gone.
My agent, Angela, couldn’t take it anymore. She pointed at me, her voice rising as she yelled at Sean. “This is your wife! Sean, are you blind? Coddling this little snake while your wife is bleeding?”
“In what world is Vivian not a thousand times better than her?”
“Have you forgotten you told Vivian you wanted a baby? That you said being with her was the only time you felt like you had a real home?”
“You’re hurting her like this now. Are you sure you won’t regret this later?”
I instinctively touched my stomach. A tiny, budding life was hidden inside me.
Sean just laughed, a hollow, empty sound. His gaze swept over me, devoid of any emotion. “Maybe I did like Vivian for a little while,” he said calmly. “But Stella’s back. And whether it’s Vivian Shaw, or some other woman, they all need to step aside.”
So that’s what it was. A brief, shallow affection. Now that his true love was back, he was done with me.
I pulled the ring from my finger—the ring that was never mine—and held it out to him.
The smile on Sean’s face slowly vanished. After a moment of tense silence, he reached for it.
Angela grabbed my arm, her eyes darting to my stomach, pleading with me. “Vivian, don’t be a fool. You’re…”
Stella cut her off, snatching the ring from my hand. She tried to slip it on her own finger, but it was too small.
Her smile faltered for a second before she tossed the ring into a nearby trash can.
She clung to Sean’s arm, pouting. “Whatever. Don’t be mad for me. I don’t want a ring some other woman has worn anyway. It’s dirty.”
Sean ignored her. He was staring at me, his voice low and intense. “You’re what?”
I gave him a cool, blank look and turned to leave.
Sean. I’m pregnant. You don’t need to know.

5.
Sean is an incredibly perceptive person. Angela’s hint was obvious. I’m sure he figured it out.
My health has never been good; I’ve been on medication for years. This pregnancy was an accident, and it posed a risk. The doctor advised me to terminate it.
And I didn’t want to use a child to stay tangled up with him.
Before the procedure, I moved out of our home. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want any trouble.
Not that he cared. He didn’t look for me. He just went on with his life.
Angela sent me a video. It was from a charity auction. Sean had just gifted Stella a magnificent diamond ring. She was laughing, throwing her arms around him.
A handsome couple. A perfect match.
Right. I’d almost forgotten.
Stella was back. And whether it was Vivian Shaw, or Vivian Shaw’s baby, we both had to step aside.
That was fine.

6.
The day before the surgery, a sudden, sharp anxiety gripped me. I remembered the jade charm my mother had gotten for me before she died. It was in the safe at home. I decided to go back for it.
When I got there, I discovered the entry code had been changed.
I stood there, locked out of my own home, a wave of humiliation washing over me.
Suppressing my anger, I called Sean.
But it was Stella who answered.
Her voice was triumphant. “Vivian, it’s my birthday today. Sean insisted on taking me to see a meteor shower. We won’t be back tonight.”
“I told him once that lovers who wish on a shooting star stay together forever. I can’t believe he remembered. I’m so happy.”
“But I can’t give you the code. I mean, we’re not home. It wouldn’t be right for an outsider to just let herself in…”
I hung up, turned to the keypad, and entered today’s date.
The door clicked open.
The code was Stella’s birthday.
Inside, every trace of my existence had been erased.
Our wedding photo on the console table was replaced by one of him and Stella. They were young, radiant. He was holding her, his smile genuine and full of joy.
My collection of succulents had been thrown out, pot and all. My study had been converted into a piano room for her.
I stood there, stunned, then ran to the bedroom. The closet was filled with a row of sexy, lace nightgowns. None of them were mine.
The safe was at the bottom of the closet. I pressed my fingerprint to the scanner and, with trembling hands, pulled out my jewelry, the cash, the documents.
But the one thing I couldn’t find was the jade charm my mother had left me.
It was the only thing I had left of her.
Stella knew that.
So she threw it away.

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