A Heart Awake at Last

After I was diagnosed with severe depression, I gave up every trace of possessiveness I had toward my CEO wife.

I stopped asking about her schedule.

When Bianca Vale came home smelling of mens cologne, I could still smile and help her take off her coat.

Even when I got into a car accident during a business trip and the doctor told me to contact a family member to sign for treatment, I only said, I dont have any family.

The nurse looked at my information and hesitated.

Arent you Ms. Vales husband? She happens to be downstairs inspecting the hospital today. Should I tell her?

I smiled and waved it off.

No need.

But half an hour later, Bianca still pushed open the door of my ward.

Her brows were tightly furrowed, her tone full of blame.

Why didnt you call me after a car accident?

I flipped through the documents on my phone.

Minor injury. I didnt want to waste Ms. Vales time.

The polite, distant form of address made Bianca freeze.

She had just opened her mouth when her assistant whispered outside the door.

Ms. Vale is really generous with that new intern. The boy said he wanted to see the ocean, so she pushed off meetings worth hundreds of millions and rented a luxury yacht to spend the whole day with him.

Bianca looked at me instinctively, probably expecting me to scream and interrogate her like before.

But I didnt even lift my head.

I only quietly looked at the divorce agreement draft my lawyer had just sent.

Bianca stood by the hospital bed, and the explanation she had prepared got stuck in her throat.

She coughed, trying to break the deathly silence in the room.

Noah just graduated. His project won an award, and hes under a lot of pressure.

I took the whole team out for a group-building day to relax. Dont lock yourself at home all day and overthink.

I locked my phone screen and looked up at her, my face calm.

I understand.

Then I pointed toward the door.

Noah Carter is outside, isnt he? Dont keep him waiting.

Bianca followed my gaze.

In the shadows of the corridor, Noah stood wearing a womens custom couture trench coat.

That coat had been my birthday gift to Bianca last month, personally customized by me.

Noah was peering into the ward.

When he realized I had noticed him, he quickly shrank back as if startled, but provocation hid in his eyes.

A violent spasm suddenly twisted through my stomach.

It was a physical reaction caused by long-term severe depression, accompanied by uncontrollable nausea.

I covered my mouth and let out a suppressed dry heave.

In the past, I would have clutched Biancas sleeve with a pale face, begging her to stay, begging her to be with me, begging her to tell me I was the one she loved most.

Now, I only pulled out a tissue and wiped my mouth.

Id like to rest alone. Ms. Vale, please do as you wish.

Biancas face turned completely dark when she heard Ms. Vale.

She thought my nausea and indifference were carefully planned cold violence and protest.

Isaac, are you not even bothering to pretend anymore?

As my husband, cant you be a little more generous? Who are you showing that corpse face to all day?

She took a set of keys from her designer bag and threw them coldly onto my bedside table.

These are the keys to that penthouse studio you always wanted. The developer just finished the property transfer.

Take them, and stop throwing tantrums. I still have more than a dozen executives waiting for me to go back to a meeting.

She didnt even wait for me to answer. She turned and left, her high heels clicking rapidly against the floor.

The moment the ward door closed, I heard her speak gently to Noah in the hallway.

Hes just spoiled by me. His temper is awful. Ignore him. Lets go.

A nurse pushed the dressing cart in and saw the shiny keyring on my bedside table.

Sir, this keychain is so cute. Can you share the link?

Kindly, she picked it up to wipe it clean.

I looked at the keychain.

A childish crystal strawberry and pinyin letters were engraved on it.

A few days ago, Biancas secretary had posted a photo in her feed. In the photo, Biancas back was visible as she accompanied Noah to a craft shop to make couple keychains.

She had taken a cheap trinket used to coax another boy and handed it to me as compensation for the three years of dreams I had given up for her.

Throw it away.

I pointed to the yellow medical waste bin under the bed.

The nurse paused, then obediently tossed it in.

I took out my phone and called my lawyer, Mr. Wright.

Mr. Wright, is the divorce agreement ready?

I dont want any marital assets under her name. Ill leave with nothing.

My only condition is that it be handled as quickly as possible.

Mr. Wright sighed on the other end.

Mr. Shaw, Ms. Vales assets are enormous. If you take nothing, life may be very hard for you later.

I turned to look at the gloomy sky outside the window.

In my bag was a one-way train ticket to a small town at the foot of the Ailao Mountains in Yunnan.

No. Leaving her is the only way Ill live better.

Suddenly, hurried footsteps in high heels sounded outside the door.

Bianca, who had just left, had somehow come back.

She shoved the ward door open. Her chest rose and fell violently, and a shocking anger burned in her eyes.

She strode to my bedside and snatched my phone.

Her fingers clenched it so hard the veins on the back of her hand stood out.

Which slut are you calling? What do you mean, leaving her and living better?

Her eyes were red as she stared at my phone screen, trying to find evidence of my cheating.

But there was nothing there.

I calmly took the phone back from her hand.

Bianca, you misheard. I was telling the housekeeper to settle her wages and stop coming to clean.

Bianca studied me suspiciously, trying to find even the smallest trace of a lie.

But I was too quiet.

So quiet there was no flaw.

Noah jogged in after her, panting, his face pale and sickly.

He held a cup of warm water and carefully handed it to me.

Isaac, dont be angry with Ms. Vale.

Its my fault. I shouldnt have said I wanted to see the ocean during the team outing. Ms. Vale only took everyone because she thought I was working too hard.

I looked at the womens trench coat on Noahs body and suddenly smiled.

I reached out and took the cup.

Thank you for the water. Im not angry, and I dont blame you.

Noahs words got stuck in his throat.

The grievances he had prepared instantly became useless.

He looked at me in astonishment, as if he had punched soft cotton and forgotten how to play the victim.

Seeing me so obedient, Biancas anger eased a little.

She adjusted her collar and said to me in a charitable tone,

Its good that you can think clearly. Ill come home early tonight and have dinner with you.

Then she took Noah and left the hospital.

At dusk, I was discharged alone and returned to the vast, cold villa.

I didnt turn on the lights. I walked upstairs in the dark.

I pulled my suitcase from the corner and neatly packed the old sketchbooks my grandmother had left me, along with my charcoal pencils.

At the bottom of the wardrobe, I found the thick stack of kraft paper envelopes.

Inside were all the severe depression diagnoses I had received from different hospitals over the past three years.

Every time I woke in the middle of the night with my chest tight and my heart racing, wanting to jump from the balcony, I would call Bianca in tears.

But every time, she was either in a meeting or staying late with Noah.

Isaac, can you stop pretending to be sick? Are you the most delicate person in the world?

Her scolding seemed to echo in my ears.

Looking at those diagnoses, I suddenly felt that my three years of persistence had been one enormous joke.

I placed all the medical reports, half-used medication bottles, and the expensive watches she had given me over the past five years neatly on the most visible coffee table in the living room.

These things were my final severance.

The clock on the wall pointed to ten at night.

The front door beeped, followed by Biancas tipsy laughter.

She pushed the door open, with a slightly drunk Noah following behind.

Noah held a pot of flowers in his arms.

It was my lifeline.

A pot of endangered cymbidium. I had spent three whole years carefully adjusting the soil acidity every day just to keep it alive.

I had planned to use it as the graduation piece for my return to the illustration world.

Bianca leaned against the entryway shoe cabinet and pointed at the plant in Noahs arms.

Noahs office was just renovated. Theres a lot of formaldehyde.

You keep this useless weed at home all day anyway, so I told Noah to take it for a few days and purify the air.

Noah tightened his arms around the pot and gave me a provoking smile.

Isaac, Im sorry. I just really like this plant. Ill take good care of it.

As he spoke, he pretended to trip over the threshold.

Noah cried out and fell forward.

The flowerpot flew from his arms.

With a sharp crash, the cymbidium I had cared for so carefully for three years, along with its custom purple clay pot, smashed against the hard marble floor.

The pot shattered into countless pieces. The tender roots were crushed in the fertilized soil.

Porcelain shards mixed with black dirt splattered across my white slippers.

I looked at the cymbidium broken into three sections, and my breathing stopped for half a second.

Noah clutched his ankle and apologized with a pained expression.

Isaac, Im sorry. I really didnt mean it. I just lost my balance.

Bianca rushed over and helped Noah sit on the sofa.

She anxiously checked his ankle. After confirming it was only slightly swollen, she let out a heavy breath of relief.

Then she turned to me, eyes full of disgust, and shouted,

Isaac Shaw, what is that look?

Its just a stupid weed. Is it worth staring at Noah like you want to eat him alive?

Tomorrow Ill have my secretary buy you a greenhouse full of rare plants at auction. Now apologize to Noah immediately.

In the past, I would have rushed up like a madman, slapped Noah several times, then held the shattered roots and sobbed.

But now, my heartbeat was steady.

I turned and went into the kitchen, then came back with a broom and trash bag.

I crouched down and swept the broken porcelain and soil into the trash as if cleaning up ordinary garbage.

The dead cymbidium went in too, mixed with dirt.

My indifferent attitude made Bianca deeply uncomfortable.

She walked up to me and snatched the broom from my hand.

Isaac, whats wrong with you? Did that car accident knock your brain loose?

All day long, you look miserable and act like a victim. Who in this family owes you anything?

Noah peeked from the sofa and timidly tugged Biancas sleeve.

Ms. Vale, dont blame Isaac. Is his depression acting up again?

I saw online that depression can spread negative energy. Its kind of scary to watch.

Bianca sneered and didnt even look at me.

Hes just idle and spoiled. No job, sitting at home pretending to be sick for sympathy.

Noah, lets go. Ignore him. Ill take you back to your apartment.

The front door slammed shut, shaking the chandelier in the living room.

I looked down at the date on my phone.

September fifteenth.

Our fifth wedding anniversary.

On the dining table was a full meal I had forced myself to make that afternoon despite the pain in my body.

By now, it was completely cold.

I walked into the bedroom, opened the hidden compartment behind the mirror, and poured out a few white pills.

I didnt even use warm water. I swallowed them dry, letting the bitterness spread through my throat.

Then I took out my phone and booked a same-city courier pickup.

I handed three large packed boxes to the courier and wrote the delivery address as a pickup point in a small border town in Yunnan.

After that, I lay on the sofa and waited quietly for dawn.

At two in the morning, thunder suddenly cracked outside, followed by a downpour.

My phone lit up in the dark.

It was a screenshot Noah had posted to his private feed, visible only to me.

In the picture, a hand wearing a womens Patek Philippe watch rested gently on Noahs forehead.

Caption:

Luckily, at my hardest moment, Ms. Vale stayed with me all night. Im so content.

I looked at the photo and screenshotted it without any emotional fluctuation.

Then I packaged the screenshot and emailed it to Mr. Wright.

Evidence of infidelity sent. Please hurry the divorce agreement.

A few minutes later, Mr. Wright replied.

Received. Tomorrow morning at nine, Maan Coffee beside the civil registry. Sign in person.

Cold morning wind slipped through the gap in the window.

I opened my eyes, pulled my small suitcase, and left the villa.

That golden cage that had trapped me for five years looked gloomy and old in the morning fog.

I didnt call a car. I took the earliest bus to the civil registry.

Inside the caf, Mr. Wright was already waiting with the printed divorce agreement.

Mr. Shaw, have you really thought this through?

If you wait until we perfect the infidelity evidence, you can at least receive half the assets.

Leaving with nothing means you wont receive a cent for your five years in the Vale family.

I took the pen and signed Isaac Shaw neatly on the signature line.

No need.

Mr. Wright, dirty money cant cure my illness.

There were still five hours before my afternoon green train to Yunnan departed.

I wanted to go to the city botanical garden to say goodbye to my youth.

The greenhouse was full of rare flowers and plants. The air smelled of soil and green leaves.

I sat on a wooden bench, closed my eyes, and breathed in the long-lost scent of nature.

Suddenly, a tremendous force grabbed my wrist.

I opened my eyes and met Biancas irritated gaze.

Noah stood beside her, dressed neatly and holding a box of freshly made plant specimens.

Isaac! Youre following people all the way here now?

Do you have to use such disgusting methods to check up on me?

Biancas accusation attracted the attention of nearby visitors.

I lowered my eyes to my wrist in her grip.

Because of long-term severe depression, there were many pale pink scars from self-harm on my wrist.

Now, with her gripping it so roughly, dull pain rose from the old wounds.

Without a change in expression, I slowly pried her hand away inch by inch.

Ms. Vale, Im just passing by.

If you dont believe me, I cant explain.

Noah immediately stepped forward and took Biancas hand, deliberately making them look intimate.

Isaac, dont misunderstand. Ms. Vale just accompanied me to buy raw materials for specimens today.

If youre jealous, we can give this specimen to you.

Bianca sneered, her eyes full of contempt as she looked at me.

Give it to him for what? Hell just leave it at home to mold.

Isaac, look at yourself now. Dry, withered, lifeless, like a rotten piece of wood.

Besides me, who in this world would want a lunatic like you?

Her words were poisoned steel needles, every sentence stabbing into my deepest pain.

If this had been half a year earlier, hearing that would have made me dry heave on the spot, perhaps even flood me with violent thoughts of ending my life.

But now, I found my heart rate unusually steady.

There wasnt even a trace of anger.

I looked at the woman who had once promised to protect my dreams.

Youre right, I said softly.

Biancas words died in her throat. The smugness on her face turned to shock.

She clearly hadnt expected that response.

I smoothed my clothes, pulled my little suitcase, walked around them, and headed straight for the garden entrance.

Afternoon sunlight fell warmly over my shoulders.

I took a deep breath and felt the chains that had burdened me for five years finally dissolve into nothing.

Bianca stood where she was, watching my back disappear without a single glance back.

For some reason, a panic she had never felt before rose in her chest.

Bianca, Isaac seems really angry

Noah muttered beside her.

Bianca stared at my back and snorted through clenched teeth.

Ignore him. Hes just throwing a tantrum. In less than three days, hell kneel and beg me to let him come home.

Three days passed in a flash.

When Bianca returned home, the villa was empty.

Unease rose in her heart. She took out her phone and called me.

But only a cold automated voice came through the receiver.

Sorry, the number you dialed does not exist. Please check and try again.

Half of Biancas face turned pale instantly.