Unequal Affection

My daughter clung to my leg. She was sobbing, begging for a ten-dollar plastic toy.

Nolan didn't even look up from his phone. His voice was ice. Stop spoiling her. It's a waste of money.

I swallowed the ache in my chest and finally managed to coax Sophie into calming down. Just as she wiped her eyes, a notification popped up on my screen. It was an Instagram update from his college sweetheart.

In the photo, she was beaming. Cradled in her arms was the latest designer handbag.

A sick curiosity took over. I opened a boutique website and found the exact bag. The three-thousand-dollar price tag felt like a slap to the face.

Her caption read: "Thank you! Absolutely in love with my birthday gift this year!"

Underneath the post, there was only one like. It belonged to my husband.

I looked down at the chipped, faded doll Sophie was clutching. Slowly, I took a screenshot of the post and sent it to him with a single text.

"The bag you bought her could buy our daughter three hundred toys. Is that right?"

"Did you buy Jennifer's bag?"

"Three grand? Where would I get that kind of money?" Nolan didn't stop scrolling. He didn't even blink. "It's a cheap knockoff. I got it from a street vendor downtown for fifty bucks."

"Jennifer just lost her job. She's been depressed. I figured a fake bag would cheer her up. We go way back, you know."

He said it so casually, as if he were talking about the weather.

It felt like a physical hand was squeezing my heart.

"Cheer up an old friend?" I asked. "Nolan, last week Sophie wanted a ten-dollar doll. You said it was a rip-off. You said it was too expensive."

"And now you're spending money to cheer up another woman?"

Nolan threw his phone onto the sofa with an exasperated sigh. He glared at me.

"Are you done? Sophie has a mountain of toys in her room. That's just throwing money away. Jennifer is different. She's a single mom struggling to get by. What's wrong with a guy helping out a friend?"

"Can you stop being so petty and paranoid all the time?"

Petty.

Paranoid.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. I turned and walked into our bedroom.

Nolan probably thought I bought his excuse. He picked his phone back up, muttering "crazy woman" under his breath.

I sat on the edge of the bed. My hands and feet were freezing.

That bag wasn't a fake.

The authenticity tag, the texture of the leather, the stitching. I knew it all too well. It was the exact bag I had stared at for months leading up to our anniversary, the one I ultimately couldn't bring myself to buy because we needed the money for the house.

I took a deep, shaky breath and opened the nightstand drawer. I pulled out Nolan's old tablet. He mostly used it for gaming now, but he had forgotten something crucial. His app accounts were all synced.

I tapped on his ride-share and travel apps. My heart hammered against my ribs.

The most recent booking was a short domestic flight to Seattle.

The date was last Saturday.

That was the exact day Nolan told me he had to pull an all-nighter at the office to finish a massive project.

I kept scrolling. My breathing turned shallow.

On that same day, there was a transaction on his credit card.

An upscale family restaurant in Seattle. The bill was over three hundred dollars.

That money could have bought Sophie thirty toys. It could have covered our groceries for weeks.

Tears pricked my eyes. I tilted my head back, forcing them down. I wouldn't cry. Not yet.

I found the restaurant's number and dialed.

A cheerful hostess answered almost immediately. "Hello, how can I help you today?"

I forced my voice to sound light and polite.

"Hi there. My husband dined at your restaurant last Saturday. He thinks he lost his lucky silver lighter. Could you check your lost and found?"

"I don't remember the exact table, but his name is Nolan. Last four digits of his phone number are xxxx."

I heard the clacking of a keyboard. A few seconds later, the hostess replied.

"Hi ma'am. Yes, I see Mr. Nolan's reservation. Unfortunately, our cleaning staff didn't turn in a lighter from that table."

My grip on the phone tightened until my knuckles turned white. My nails dug into my palm.

"I see. I must be mistaken then. Oh, by the way, was he alone? I was worried he might have drank too much with his clients."

The hostess must have sensed the 'wifely concern' in my voice. She sounded even warmer.

"Oh, don't worry! Your husband didn't order any alcohol."

"He was with a lovely lady and a little boy. The little guy kept calling him Daddy. They looked absolutely adorable together. Just a picture-perfect family."

A picture-perfect family.

Those words twisted like a serrated knife in my gut.

I don't even remember hanging up. My brain was echoing with the phrase.

Nolan didn't just give her money. He gave her the most valuable thing he had. His time.

He poured all his patience, gentleness, and cash into that woman and her kid.

And for me and Sophie? All he had left were cold shoulders, excuses, and lies.

This was the man I fought my own family to marry.

This was the husband I gave up my dreams for, scraping by so he could build his career.

It made me want to throw up.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the faucet on cold. I splashed the freezing water over my face. The shock snapped me back to reality.

What good were tears?

Would crying bring my money back? Would it make Nolan a decent father?

No.

Well then, Nolan. If you love playing Daddy to someone else's kid so much, I'll make sure you get your wish.

Sunday morning arrived.

Nolan woke up early, whistling as he shaved. He even sprayed on a little cologne.

"That account still has some loose ends. I need to head into the office for a few hours."

"You stay home with Sophie. Don't wait up for dinner."

He lied with such flawless ease. He didn't even bother coming up with a new excuse.

I was braiding Sophie's hair. I didn't look up.

"Okay."

"Actually, I was thinking of taking Sophie out today too. I heard there's a great new indoor theme park a few towns over."

Nolan's hand froze on his tie. A flicker of panic crossed his eyes.

"Why go all the way out there? That's a ridiculous drive. Just take her to the park down the street. Don't waste gas money."

I smiled, clipping a pink bow into Sophie's hair.

"She's been begging to go for weeks. Besides, I found a Groupon. It's dirt cheap."

Nolan grabbed his briefcase and practically sprinted out the door.

The moment it clicked shut, my smile vanished.

I had made a reservation at that exact restaurant. Directly across from their favorite table.

At eleven a.m., I walked into the upscale bistro holding Sophie's hand.

It was beautiful. Soft lighting, pastel decor, and the sound of children laughing.

I spotted Nolan immediately.

He was sitting by the floor-to-ceiling windows. He leaned forward, utterly engrossed.

Sitting across from him was Jennifer.

Next to him was a little boy, maybe five or six years old.

The kid was clumsily trying to snap a complex Lego set together. Nolan had his hands over the boy's, guiding him patiently.

"Look, buddy. This piece goes here. See? Nice and sturdy."

"You are so smart. Way better at this than my clumsy little girl."

His voice was dripping with a tenderness I hadn't heard in years. His eyes were full of pure adoration.

Sophie tugged at my sleeve. Her voice was a tiny whisper.

"Mommy, is that Daddy?"

"Didn't Daddy go to work? Who is that boy?"

Looking down at my daughter's confused, innocent face broke something inside me.

I crouched down and smoothed her hair.

"Be a good girl, sweetie. Go play in the ball pit over there for a minute. Mommy needs to talk to Daddy."

She didn't want to leave my side, but she was always a good kid. She nodded obediently and trotted off toward the play area.

I took a deep breath and marched straight toward their table.

Before I even reached them, Nolan seemed to sense something. He looked up.

The moment his eyes locked onto mine, the Lego piece slipped from his fingers and hit the table with a sharp clack.

All the color drained from his face.

"What... what are you doing here?"

Jennifer jumped. She scrambled to her feet, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Stella..."

I ignored her completely. My eyes were fixed on my husband.

"Is this the office?"

"Are these the loose ends on your account?"

"So your idea of overtime is building Legos with another woman's son?"

People at the neighboring tables were starting to stare.

Nolan's face went from pale to a deep, embarrassed red. He shot out of his chair, grabbed my wrist, and yanked me toward a quiet corner near the restrooms.

"Are you insane? We're in public! Stop causing a scene!"

"Can you just give me an ounce of respect?"

Once we were out of earshot, he dropped my wrist like it burned him. He hissed through his teeth.

"Are you tracking me?"

I gave him a dead-eyed smile.

"If you don't want people to know, don't do it."

"You're worried about respect now?"

"You barely speak two words to your own daughter at home, but here you are overflowing with fatherly love?"

Nolan shifted his weight. His eyes darted around as he spun his web.

"Jennifer just moved back. Toby transferred to a new school and doesn't have any friends. He's been really withdrawn."

"I'm just helping a friend out. Being a positive male role model for the kid."

"Sophie is a social butterfly. She doesn't need me hovering over her."

"Are you seriously jealous of a little kid? You're being totally irrational!"

His logic was a masterclass in gaslighting.

Right on cue, Jennifer rushed over.

Her eyes were red. She looked like a fragile, heartbroken victim. She reached out, trying to touch my arm.

"Stella, please don't be mad at Nolan. This is all my fault."

"I'm just so useless. I've been struggling to raise Toby alone, and I leaned on Nolan too much."

"Yell at me if you want, but please don't let this ruin your marriage."

"I'll leave right now. I promise I'll never bother him again."

Fat tears rolled down her cheeks perfectly on cue. The performance was Oscar-worthy.

Seeing her cry triggered Nolan's hero complex. He immediately pulled Jennifer behind him, shielding her from me.

He glared at me.

"Look at what you're doing! You're terrifying her."

"Jennifer is so understanding. But you? You're acting like a crazy bitch!"

"Why can't you learn to be a little more gentle? A little more forgiving?"

I stared at the two of them. It was a perfectly choreographed routine.

Understanding?

Forgiving?

A pathetic homewrecker and a cheating narcissist. What a match.

I didn't scream. I didn't cry.

I just stood there in silence. My gaze slowly drifted down to Jennifer's neck.

Resting against her collarbone was a silver necklace.

The pendant was uniquely shaped, like a butterfly caught mid-flight, its wings dusted with crushed sapphires.

My pupils dilated.

That was my necklace.

It was the most precious thing I owned.

My eyes were glued to the silver chain. The blood roared in my ears.

It was "First Light."

The piece that won me the National Young Designer's Award back in college.

It was the peak of my design career. And the end of it.

That year, I was supposed to use that award to secure a full-ride scholarship to Parsons. I was going to study in New York.

But Nolan's startup crashed. He owed a massive amount of money to the wrong people. They were banging on our door every night.

To save him, I gave up the scholarship. I took my entire thirty-thousand-dollar prize money and paid off his debts. I spent the next three years working double shifts at diners and selling crafts at flea markets just to keep us afloat.

That necklace was a one-of-a-kind original.

It was the only monument I had left for a dream that had died.

For years, I kept it locked in the deepest corner of my safe. I didn't even dare to wear it.

And now, it was resting on Jennifer's skin.

It was the ultimate insult.

I took a slow step toward her.

"Stop making a fool of yourself," Nolan snapped. "Take Sophie and go home!"

I ignored him. I raised my hand and pointed straight at Jennifer's throat.

"Where did you get that?"

Nolan flinched. He avoided my eyes and instinctively blocked Jennifer again.

"What do you mean? I bought it!"

"It's from a flea market. Cost me twenty bucks. What's the big deal?"

Another flea market.

Another cheap excuse.

I let out a cold, sharp laugh. I lunged forward and grabbed the necklace.

Jennifer shrieked. She slapped her hands over her neck and stumbled backward.

"What are you doing! You're hurting me!"

"Stella, I know you hate me, but this was a gift from Nolan..."

"A gift?"

I turned to Nolan. My voice shook with pure rage.

"You said this was a twenty-dollar piece of junk?"

"Do you even know what is engraved on the back of it?"

Nolan went pale. A thin layer of sweat broke out on his forehead.

Of course he knew.

Years ago, when I showed it to him as a symbol of our future, I held his hand, traced the tiny etching on the back, and said:

"It's an S. For Stella."

"If your memory is failing you, Nolan, let me help you remember."

I yanked hard. The silver chain snapped.

I flipped the pendant over and shoved it inches from Nolan's face.

The tiny, elegant "S" was unmistakable.

"Do you see it?"

"This is First Light! It's the only trophy I have left from my past!"

"How dare you?"

"How dare you take my blood, sweat, and tears and use it to play sugar daddy to another woman?"

A crowd was forming. People were whispering and pointing.

Nolan's pride couldn't handle the public humiliation.

His eyes turned wild. He yelled back at me.

"Yeah! I took it! So what?"

"What's yours is mine! It belongs to the house!"

"Jennifer said it looked pretty. She said she needed a lucky charm."

"She's been having a hard time, so I let her borrow it! Is that a crime?"

"It's just a piece of metal! Why are you being so hysterical?"

"It was just gathering dust in a drawer anyway. At least now it's actually getting some use!"

I stopped breathing.

In his eyes, my dreams, my youth, the ultimate sacrifice I made for him...

It was all just "metal gathering dust."

Jennifer had recovered from her shock. She rubbed her neck, letting the tears fall freely.

"Stella, I had no idea it was so important to you..."

"Nolan told me it was just a cheap trinket."

"If you're that desperate for it, you could have just asked. You didn't have to attack me like an animal."

"It's not like I can't afford my own jewelry..."

As she sobbed, her eyes flicked to the crowd, gauging their sympathy.

And it worked. Some onlookers muttered under their breath.

"That wife is psycho. Just ripping it off her neck?"

"It's just a necklace. Total overreaction."

My hand trembled around the silver pendant. My chest felt hollowed out.

In that moment, everything became crystal clear.

Nolan didn't just disrespect a piece of jewelry.

He had completely shattered my dignity. He wiped away every piece of myself I had sacrificed to build our family.

To him, I was utterly worthless.

I gripped the necklace tight in my fist and turned around.

"We are done, Nolan."

Panic finally pierced through his anger. He lunged forward, grabbing my arm, and actually dropped to his knees right there on the restaurant floor.

"Stella! Wait! I'm sorry!"

"I messed up!"

"I shouldn't have taken your stuff. I wasn't thinking!"

"You have the necklace back now! Can we just go home and act like a normal family?"

He clung to my jeans, sobbing, putting on a show for the crowd.

I kicked him off. I just felt sick.

When I got home, I locked the necklace back inside the safe.

Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried until my throat was raw.

That night, Sophie woke up crying. She was burning up.

The thermometer read 103 degrees. She was lethargic, her tiny body trembling, murmuring that her head hurt.

I panicked. I threw a coat over her pajamas and rushed her to the emergency room.

Registration. Blood tests. Waiting rooms.

I ran up and down the hospital corridors alone, carrying my forty-pound daughter in my arms.

In those agonizing hours, my hatred for Nolan crystallized into something cold and permanent.

The doctor finally wrote up a prescription and told me to pay at the billing counter.

I pulled out the blue debit card.

It was our emergency fund. It was also meant to be Sophie's college fund.

I had deposited every spare dollar into it for five years. There was exactly forty thousand dollars in that account.

I never expected Nolan to save a dime, so I managed it.

But Nolan knew the PIN.

Beep.

The billing clerk frowned and slid the card back across the glass.

"Insufficient funds, ma'am."

I froze.

"That's impossible. There's forty thousand dollars in that account. Try it again."

"Is your machine down?"

The clerk looked sympathetic but exhausted.

"The machine is fine. The card is empty. You've got about forty-five bucks left. Do you have another card? There's a line."

Forty-five bucks?

The world spun.

Forty. Thousand. Dollars.

That was money I scraped together by denying myself everything. Skipping lunches, buying second-hand clothes, working freelance gigs late into the night.

My hands shook violently as I pulled out my phone and opened the banking app.

There it was. A transaction from three days ago.

Transfer amount: $39,950.

Recipient: Jennifer.

I paid for Sophie's meds with a high-interest credit card.

Once she was hooked up to her IV and sleeping in the pediatric ward, I marched out to the hallway and called Nolan.

It rang a dozen times before he picked up.

His voice was hushed and guilty.

"Hey babe, you're up late. I'm still at the office..."

"Where is the money?"

My jaw was clenched so hard my teeth ached.

"Sophie's emergency fund. Forty thousand dollars. Where is it?"

Dead silence on the line.

Then, the stammering began.

"Look... babe, let me explain."

"Jennifer's mom... she got really sick. She needed emergency surgery."

"You know how American hospitals are. No insurance, no cash, no surgery."

"It was a matter of life and death. I couldn't just let the woman die, could I?"

"I just loaned it to her. She's putting her mom's house on the market. Once it sells, she'll pay me back every cent..."

"Loaned?"

My entire body was shaking. The tears I promised not to shed streamed down my face.

"Nolan, that is Sophie's money!"

"Your daughter is lying in a hospital bed right now with a 103-degree fever, and I couldn't even pay her medical bill!"

"You took your daughter's safety net to play savior to your ex's mother?"

"Are you even human?"

"Do you have a soul at all?"

My voice cracked, echoing down the empty hospital hallway. A passing nurse gave me a sharp look, motioning for me to quiet down.

I slapped a hand over my mouth, choking on my own sobs. The pain in my chest was unbearable.

Nolan was still defending himself.

"How was I supposed to know Sophie was going to get sick?"

"Besides, we're talking about a life-saving surgery versus a fever. Can you not tell the difference?"

"Do you have zero empathy?"

Empathy?

I looked through the glass window of the ward. I looked at my daughter's flushed face, a needle taped to her tiny hand.

She was so small. So vulnerable.

And her father had abandoned her for another woman.

I wiped my face. I stared blankly at the wall and lowered my voice into a dead, flat calm.

"You wanted to be a savior, Nolan?"

"Good. That's great."

"Since you're so generous, I hope you're ready to pay the price."

"I am going to make you spit out that forty grand. Every single cent."

I hung up the phone and blocked his number.

If you want to play dirty, Nolan, welcome to the mud.