First Love Fades

The year I turned twenty-eight, Sienna became the uncrowned queen of Port City.
She had eliminated the last of the men who’d ever laid a hand on me.
She commanded thirty-seven of the city’s docks and eighteen satellite casinos. Millions flowed into her coffers every day. She held the city in the palm of her hand.
It was also the year I found our son, Leo, who had been missing for a decade.
Our family, our empire—it was all finally coming together.
But just as I was about to share the good news with Sienna, I got a call from the flagship casino in the middle of the night.
“Nate,” her manager’s voice was strained. “Can you come down here?”
“There’s… someone making a scene. He’s telling everyone the boss… that she forced herself on him.”
I assumed it was a rival trying to stir up trouble and rushed over. But when I arrived, the only person I saw was a beautiful young man.
He wore a wedding band on his finger—the exact same design as mine.
But his face held an arrogance I’d never possessed.
When he saw me, he shot me a defiant look and then deliberately ground the memorial photo of my daughter, Lily, under his heel.
“Sienna was supposed to be here at midnight for my birthday,” he pouted. “If she’s not, then I’m going to make a scene. I’ll make a huge scene!”

1.
The memorial table was a disaster. Lily’s photo was covered in shoe prints, and the offerings were scattered across the floor.
The once-deafening roar of the casino floor had fallen silent. Even Sienna’s most seasoned capos didn’t dare breathe too loudly. They were all bowing and scraping, trying to placate this petulant boy.
“Who is he?” I asked.
The manager hesitated, stammering for a moment before he finally managed to get the words out. The young man’s name was Julian. He was a college student, not even twenty, and Sienna was… very fond of him.
I was about to ask what “fond of him” meant when a shoulder slammed into mine, shoving me aside.
When I looked up, Sienna was already showing me the answer.
She draped her own coat over Julian’s shoulders, her face melting into a fond, indulgent smile.
“My little trouble, what are you doing out here in the cold?” she murmured. “I wanted to be with you, but today is the anniversary of Lily’s death…”
She sighed, stroking his hair. “Okay, okay, it’s all my fault. You can hit me, you can scream at me, just don’t catch a cold.”
When they called, I’d been terrified something had happened to Sienna. I’d run out of the house in just a thin shirt. Now, the night wind cut through the fabric, a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature.
I hesitated, then finally called her name. “Sienna.”
She flinched, only then realizing it was me she had shoved. But the flicker of recognition lasted only a second before it was replaced by a careless smile.
“Nathan? What are you doing here?” she asked. “Did our little troublemaker call you? Don’t mind him. He’s young, just loves to cause drama.”
She gave Julian a playful pat on the backside. “Go back to the room and wait for me,” she whispered, then turned back to me. “You go home, too. I’ll be back in the morning.”
She said it so casually, as if betrayal was the most natural thing in the world.
When I didn’t move, Sienna stepped forward and brushed a few snowflakes from my shoulder. “Be good, Nate. Don’t stoop to his level.”
The light overhead flickered, and for a moment, I was thrown back in time. To the year we were most in love, when Sienna had grabbed my hand under these same city lights and sworn an oath.
Till death do us part. I will never betray you. If I do, may I die a dog’s death.
My lips tightened. I snatched a heavy crystal vase from a nearby table and smashed it over her head.
A collective gasp filled the room, punctuated by Julian’s shrill scream. He scrambled into Sienna’s arms like a startled fawn, whimpering that he was scared. Blood was trickling down Sienna’s temple, but her first instinct was to shield Julian’s face, to protect him from the sight of her own weakness.
Her voice, when she spoke to me, was sharp with annoyance.
“Julian is sensitive. He can’t handle things like this,” she said. “Go home, Nathan. Don’t make this any uglier than it has to be.”
I looked at the blood-stained shard of glass in my hand and laughed, a cold, empty sound. Then I hurled it at her again.
“You think this is ugly?” I snarled. “Remember the time I took eighteen stab wounds for you? My intestines were spilling out. You held them in with one hand and carried me on your back for miles, leaving a trail of blood the whole way. That was ugly.”
At the mention of our bloody past, the boy in her arms trembled. Sienna immediately covered his ears, her brow furrowed.
“That’s enough! Don’t talk about that in front of him,” she snapped. “He’s not like you. If he gets scared, he won’t be able to sleep.”
Of course, he wasn’t like me. At his age, if I had seen someone lay a hand on Sienna, I would have grabbed the nearest blade and fought to the death.
Perhaps worried about what other secrets I might reveal, Sienna sighed and waved her men over to escort Julian away. The boy was clingy, clutching her jacket, refusing to let go until Sienna cooed and promised him the world.
Only when we were completely alone did she finally sit down across from me. She lit a cigarette, the smoke veiling her face.
All I could hear was her voice, steady and devoid of any emotion.

2.
“You’re a grown man, Nathan. Why are you picking a fight with a kid?”
“I’ve told you, you’re the only one I love. But I’m still human. I have needs.”
Sienna casually tapped the ash from her cigarette. Her gaze lingered for a second on the raw, red skin of my chest, chapped from the cold, before quickly looking away.
“Look at those scars on your body. They’re terrifying,” she said. “Every time you take your clothes off, I see them… all of them… and I just feel… so…”
She paused, then delivered the final blow with chilling precision.
“Disgusted.”
With that, she stood up. She took the signet ring from her finger—the one she’d killed for, the symbol of her power—and pressed it into my hand.
“But don’t worry,” she said, her voice softening into a hollow imitation of comfort. “No matter what, I’ll always love you. No matter who I’m with, no one will ever take your place.”
“It’s just… I’ve fought and bled my whole life to get here. Now that things are finally stable, I just want to enjoy myself.”
For years, that’s what she’d always told me. Just wait, Nate. Wait until I control all the docks. Wait until I’m at the very top. Then I’ll go straight, and we can finally have a real life.
For that promise, I had been beaten, cursed, and stabbed until my body was a roadmap of scars. I never thought of letting go.
But my idea of a “real life” was a quiet home with our two children.
Hers, apparently, was keeping a pretty young boy on the side.
I took a deep breath, looking at the woman before me. She was so familiar, yet a complete stranger. The Sienna who swore she’d paint the city red for me was gone. The Sienna who found me in an alley, a street kid digging through trash, and promised me a home… she was a ghost.
My thumb traced the cool steel of the gun tucked in my waistband.
I took one last look at her and said, “Let’s get a divorce.”
If I were nineteen again, I would have burned this place to the ground. I would have carved up this cheating pair and thrown them into the harbor for the sharks.
But now…
I touched the locket I wore, a picture of my children inside. A bitter wave of grief washed over me.
It was in this very casino, a decade ago, that Sienna and I were hiding from our enemies with our children.
Our son, Leo, was lost in the chaos.
And our daughter, Lily… I smothered her with my own hands.
We were crammed into a shipping crate, trying to escape. To stop her cries from giving us away, I held my hand over her mouth. I held it there until she stopped breathing.
The sound of Sienna’s screams that day could be heard across the entire city. She cut off her own pinky finger, swearing an oath on Lily’s body that she would avenge our child.
And I prayed. I swore that if Lily could ever forgive me, if Leo ever came back to me, I would dedicate my life to peace. I would never kill again.
Now, Sienna was the queen of Port City, the master of this casino. She could reattach her finger and forget her vows. She could let her lover desecrate our daughter’s memory.
But I couldn’t.
I had to live for my children now. I had to leave this life of blood and betrayal behind.
And take my son somewhere safe, somewhere we could finally live in peace.

3.
Sienna didn’t agree to the divorce.
Not because she couldn’t bear to let me go. It was because her new boy toy called, whimpering that he was afraid of the dark.
She rushed out so quickly she didn’t even hear what I’d said.
That impatient little brat couldn’t wait to rub it in my face. A video message popped up on my phone.
In a penthouse apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows, Sienna was kneeling on the floor, washing his feet.
I knew that building. When we first came to Port City, broke and dreaming, we used to stand on the street below and stare up at it. We promised each other that one day, we’d stand together in one of those windows, looking out at the city we’d conquered. A life with my love, sharing that view… it was all I ever wanted.
Now, Sienna could afford to buy the entire building.
But the person living there with her wasn’t me.
Decades of shared blood and battle couldn’t compete with a pretty face and a gentle touch.
I tried to let it go. I really tried. But I couldn’t.
I carefully cleaned Lily’s photograph, lit a stick of incense, and made a phone call.
The next morning, a gift box was delivered to Sienna’s desk. Inside, resting on a bed of silk, was Julian’s severed finger. The blood was still wet, a shocking crimson against the sparkle of his wedding band.
Sienna was livid.
She had the man who did the job dragged before me, his face a bloody pulp.
“Nathan, you’ve gone too far,” she said, her voice dangerously low.
“Julian is just a kid.”
A kid? The word was a dagger in my heart. I shook my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips.
Our Lily was buried in the cold earth. Our Leo was still lost somewhere in this cruel world.
Every night I spent missing them, every night Sienna was gone, I was sick with worry. Worried our enemies would find me. Worried Sienna was in danger. Worried I would lose her the same way I lost my children.
And where was she?
In Julian’s arms, probably laughing at the pathetic fool who loved her so much it made him weak.
I clenched my fists. “Sign the divorce papers,” I said, my voice hoarse. “And I’ll leave your little lover alone. Otherwise, I don’t care where you hide him. I will find him.”
“I’ll cut off his fingers, his ears, his nose. One by one,” I promised. “Let’s see what you run out of first: his body parts, or your time.”
Sienna just smiled, radiating absolute confidence.
“You won’t,” she said. “I know you, Nathan. You love me too much. You’d never tear us apart over some outsider.”
Before she could finish, a soft moan came from the phone she was holding. Her face softened, her thoughts already with Julian. With a swift, clean motion, she slit the throat of the man kneeling on the floor.
Then she left, hurrying back to her lover.
After that, Sienna kept Julian under even tighter guard.
So I went after her empire instead.
In seven days, I hit all thirty-seven docks and eighteen satellite casinos. Every single place Julian had ever set foot in, I tore it apart.
One afternoon, as I was personally wrecking the main casino floor, one of my men called.
“Nate, it’s bad! Someone’s at the cemetery! They’re trying to dig up Lily’s grave!”
“What?”
My blood ran cold. I floored it, racing towards the cemetery.
As I neared the entrance, a car, driving recklessly on the wrong side of the road, slammed directly into me.

4.
In the split second before the pain hit, I saw the license plate.
A-927.
The date Lily died.
There was only one person in Port City who would dare use that plate. Sienna.
Sure enough, I heard Julian’s cloying voice drift from the other car.
“Oh no, Sienna! I hit someone! Are they going to arrest me? I’m so scared! I don’t want to leave you!”
Sienna kissed his cheek, her voice a soothing murmur. She didn’t even glance in my direction. She just had one of her men toss a stack of cash onto my crumpled car.
Using the power I helped her build to trample on my dignity.
A white-hot pain tore through my abdomen, spreading like fire. I clutched my stomach, gritting my teeth as I looked up. Through the shattered windshield, I could see them. Sienna’s men were digging up Lily’s grave.
Julian snuggled against Sienna, looking up with wide, innocent eyes. “Sienna, do you think Nathan will be mad about this? What if he comes after me again? He’s so scary…”
Sienna stroked his hair, unconcerned. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’m here to protect you. I own this city now.”
Julian, emboldened by her devotion, pouted. “Really? Then after all I’ve been through for you, just giving me that theme park isn’t enough. I want you to get on all fours and let me ride you like a horse!”
Sienna just smiled and nodded.
He pressed his advantage. “And I want you to bake me a birthday cake. And watch the stars with me. And set off fireworks.”
“And, and! I want us to have lots and lots of babies together!”
Sienna’s smile grew wider. This woman, who had clawed her way to the top through a sea of blood, was now simpering like a lovesick girl. She pulled Julian into a tight hug, nodding again and again.
“Yes, yes, of course. Anything you want, my love. Anything!”
No matter how outrageous his demands, she agreed without hesitation, that doting smile never leaving her face.
The roar of the excavator was the symphony to their love story. And the small body buried in the ground was just a prop.
The prayer beads on my wrist were stained with my own blood. The last shred of mercy in my heart burned away, leaving only a pure, cold need for vengeance.
I pulled out my gun and, without a second’s hesitation, fired.
The moment the shot rang out, Sienna instinctively threw her body over Julian, shielding him.
In the next instant, dozens of guns were pointed at me.
The pain in my gut intensified. It was as if Lily herself was crying out from her disturbed grave.
I stared at Sienna, my voice a venomous hiss. “You’d disturb our daughter’s eternal rest for this… this piece of trash? Sienna, you are no mother.”
Sienna frowned. “Calm down, Nathan. Our child is dead. The living are more important.”
The living are more important? No. The new toy is more important than the old love.
I fought through the waves of pain and raised my gun again. But before I could pull the trigger, Julian stepped out from behind Sienna. He was holding Lily’s urn.
With a smirk, he hurled it to the ground.
The container shattered. The ashes, everything that was left of my daughter, scattered in the wind.
Lily was gone. Again.
“LILY!”
I lunged forward, a raw, animalistic scream tearing from my throat. The rage was so immense it completely eclipsed the pain.
Only after I had desperately scooped what little I could of the ashes into my arms did I realize. My old wounds had torn open. My pants were soaked through with fresh blood.
The world tilted, and I fell.
I woke up in a hospital.
One of my men was pacing by the bed, looking at me with an expression of pure agony. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but couldn’t.
Finally, Dr. Evans came in and told me.
“Nathan… your son, Leo… he’s gone.”
“Someone leaked his location. By the time your men got there, our rivals had already… they’d already taken him apart.”
I closed my eyes, a profound, soul-crushing despair washing over me. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.
My daughter, her ashes scattered to the winds.
My son, dismembered by my enemies.
Ten years ago, I was too late.
Ten years later, I was still too late.
Seeing the utter devastation on my face, the doctor sighed. “Sienna… she thought you were faking it. She refused to leave Julian’s side to come here. She still doesn’t know about Leo.”
I said nothing. My grief was hardening into a cold, unbreakable resolve. There was no point in sorrow.
Every single person who had a hand in my children’s deaths would pay. In blood.
When I returned to the villa, it was in chaos. Julian was directing the staff to throw all of my belongings into the street.
He smirked when he saw me. “Thanks for that bullet, Nathan. Sienna said I was so traumatized that I needed to move in here to recover.”
Sienna shook her head and called him a little devil, but there was no anger in her voice. She just waved a dismissive hand. “Julian didn’t mean to break the urn. I’ve already hired a master to find a new, better burial plot. Let him stay here for a while. He’ll be good, he won’t get in your way. And he’ll never take your place.”
No one in Port City could take my place. Not even Sienna.
I ignored them both. I took the ashes of my children and went straight to the airport.
As the plane climbed high above Port City, the timers on the bombs in the villa reached zero.
I looked down at the glittering, familiar landscape below and whispered, “You once made a vow, Sienna.”
“If you ever betrayed me, you would die a dog’s death.”
You couldn’t keep your promise.
So I’m keeping it for you.
…
In the villa, just as Sienna was about to tumble into bed with Julian, she got a call from Dr. Evans. The doctor’s voice was sharp with blame.
“Sienna, Nathan has suffered so much for you over the years. I can understand you not showing up when he was in the hospital. But Leo… how could you not even ask about Leo? He was your son, too!”
“Lily is gone. And now Leo is dead.”
“If Nathan ever finds out the truth about what happened back then… he will never, ever forgive you.”
Leo is dead?
When?
A shiver went down Sienna’s spine. Nathan’s pale, bloodless face flashed in her mind. A deep unease settled in her gut. She glanced in the direction he had gone.
Before she could ask another question, the world exploded.

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