When I Finally Put Myself First

Lately, Joey had been piecing my life together through the casual remarks of others.

When his friends jokingly congratulated him on becoming a trophy husband, it finally dawned on him that I had already paid the down payment on a new house entirely on my own.

A group photo posted on my best friend's Instagram was the only way he found out I had chopped off all my hair into a sharp bob.

Even when I flew out to his city for a business trip, he only found out because we literally collided at the corner of a shopping mall.

He furrowed his brows, asking why I hadn't told him I was in town. His voice was thick with genuine confusion. "You used to sit through a six-hour cross-country flight just to see me for a weekend without a single complaint."

I avoided his gaze and threw out a casual excuse. "Work has been crazy lately. I barely have time to breathe."

Looking at his stunned expression, a random memory flashed through my mind. Just half a month ago, I had been perfectly willing to drop my entire career without a second thought just to make it to a date with him.

When I bumped into Joey at the mall, I was actually on the phone with my best friend, Brooke, making plans for dinner.

"Wow, did hell freeze over?" Brooke teased through the speaker. "I thought you only ever visited Seattle to play the devoted girlfriend."

Her tone made me laugh. "I swear on my life, I am here for a week-long business trip, and I am absolutely not seeing him."

Brooke let out a dramatic gasp, clearly not believing a word.

And fair enough. In the past, I had nearly quit my six-figure job just to secure a weekend off to see Joey.

Right after I made that blood oath to Brooke, a hand suddenly grabbed my wrist as I rounded the corner.

"You're here again? Didn't we just see each other two weeks ago?"

I stared blankly at the person holding onto me.

It took me a full two seconds to process who it was.

I was usually the one who picked out all of Joey's clothes. He always wore perfectly ironed button-downs and tailored slacks, looking every bit the reliable, professional doctor.

But right now, he was wearing a cream-colored oversized hoodie.

The boyish, collegiate outfit completely stripped away his usual mature aura.

Joey checked his watch. When he looked back up at me, his eyes did not hold the warmth of a man seeing his long-distance girlfriend. Instead, he looked at me like I was just another patient taking up his time in the waiting room.

"I have a shift at the hospital this afternoon. I don't have time to entertain you."

"Next time you decide to fly out, give me a heads up..."

I cut him off immediately. "Who said I came here to see you? You're overthinking things. I don't have time for you either."

Joey froze.

"But you're always the one counting down the days until we see each other."

That was the old me.

The old me would have rushed out of the airport on a four-hour layover just to grab a twenty-minute coffee with him.

The old me would work five days of brutal overtime to finish a project early, all to match his single day off.

But now, if we hadn't accidentally crossed paths, he never would have known I was in his city.

"There is no need to throw a tantrum. Dr. Wright is incredibly busy and exhausted every single day."

The girl standing next to Joey suddenly spoke up. Her name was Sophie.

"It is bad enough that you are not being understanding, but showing up unannounced like this? Now Dr. Wright is going to feel obligated to waste his precious resting time on you."

I stared at Sophie's incredibly self-righteous expression.

She was also wearing an oversized hoodie.

Matched with Joey's, it looked sickeningly like a couples outfit.

Not far away, a clothing store had a massive red banner proudly advertising a "Couples 50% Off" sale.

A cold smirk crept onto my face. "You don't have time to see me, but you have plenty of time to go shopping with her?"

Sophie lifted her chin slightly, her face the picture of moral superiority.

"Please do not misunderstand, Sienna! Dr. Wright usually dresses far too strictly, which makes the patients nervous. I simply suggested he wear something softer, so I accompanied him to pick out a few items."

"I happened to like this hoodie too, and the store had a couples discount. I only agreed to it to save some money."

"I am not like you. You come from money and never have to look at price tags. I do not have a wealthy family backing me. I have to stretch every single dollar. You really do not need to be so insecure and suspicious."

I actually laughed out loud.

"What he wears is none of your business. Are you his girlfriend or his mother?"

"Saving money by using someone else's boyfriend. You really know how to play the system, don't you?"

Sophie's face flushed bright red. "You..."

Joey tightened his grip on my hand, his tone softening as he tried to pacify me.

"I didn't make time for you, so you have every right to be angry with me. But taking it out on someone else is out of line. She was just trying to be frugal."

"How about this. I will call in a favor, take the afternoon off, and spend it with you. Okay?"

Suddenly, the entire situation just felt incredibly pathetic. I yanked my hand out of his grip.

"I am busy! I already told you I didn't come here for you. Are you incapable of understanding basic English?"

This time, Joey was left completely speechless.

This was the fourth year of our long-distance relationship.

And it had been brutal.

I flew from New York to Seattle every single month to see him. That was only twelve visits a year.

To bridge the gap, we promised to video call every single night. Even if we were dead on our feet, we had to say goodnight before hanging up.

I couldn't quite pinpoint when it started.

But gradually, Sophie's name began dominating our nightly calls.

"The new nurse assigned to me is so clumsy. She missed the vein three times during a blood draw today."

"She has a really kind heart, though. She sneaks cafeteria food out to feed the stray cats in the alley."

"I overheard the chief mentioning that she comes from a really tough background. She took out massive loans for nursing school, just like I did for med school. But she wasn't as lucky as me. My greatest luck was meeting you in college."

I never took it seriously. I just assumed she was a quirky subordinate.

Then, a month ago, Joey told me he had an out-of-state medical conference and wouldn't be able to do our goodnight calls.

It wasn't until a mutual friend from his hospital called me to say Joey had been admitted for a severe stomach ulcer that I found out the truth.

His "medical conference" was in my city. New York.

He wasn't planning a romantic surprise.

He genuinely just hadn't planned on telling me he was in town.

"I was just too busy, and it slipped my mind. I was only going to be there for two days anyway. There was no point in making a huge fuss and dragging you out."

To him, seeing me had become a chore. A burden.

While I was standing in his hospital room processing that, the thermos of hot soup in my hands was suddenly shoved aside.

A woman in scrubs aggressively popped the lid off her own insulated container and glared at me. "Dr. Wright was admitted for a severe stomach ulcer! He cannot eat heavy, greasy food!"

She fluttered around his bed, adjusting his pillows and pouring his water.

She looked exactly like the lady of the house.

She threw the apple I had carefully peeled for him straight into the trash, claiming I hadn't washed my hands using the proper clinical seven-step method, so it was contaminated.

When I stared at his IV drip rate, she scoffed, telling me I was a clueless outsider and ordering me to stay out of the way.

I stepped out to use the restroom for exactly three minutes.

When I came back, the two of them were laughing together, completely immersed in their own world.

Knowing I had absolutely no interest in the medical field, Joey cleared his throat and offered a weak explanation. "We were just talking about work."

But Sophie just had to add her own little jab. "Even if we explained it to you, you wouldn't understand a word."

A ball of fire twisted in my gut. I looked straight at Joey. "Since when do you hire nurses with this kind of attitude? Fire her."

Sophie froze, then puffed out her chest. "I am a registered nurse with a degree from a proper medical program. I am not some cheap caretaker you can just dismiss!"

That was when I realized this was Sophie.

Clearly, she had crossed the line.

And Joey had completely enabled her.

Infidelity and emotional wandering are the oldest clichs in long-distance relationships.

I used to arrogantly believe we were the exception. I thought we were immune to a bad ending.

If I had been harboring any foolish hopes before, pretending I was just being overly sensitive, the whole "fake couples hoodie" incident completely shattered that illusion.

...

I bought Brooke a gift at the mall and picked up the custom-tailored suit I had ordered weeks ago.

After a quick lunch with Brooke, I dove straight back into my work.

Between working endless overtime and getting caught in a freezing Seattle downpour, I ended up with a raging fever and landed myself right back in the hospital.

Talk about terrible luck. The nurse assigned to draw my blood was Sophie.

She tied the tourniquet around my arm with entirely too much force.

She jabbed the needle in three separate times, failing to find the vein every single time. Horrific, dark purple bruises bloomed across my pale skin.

I lost my patience. "I want a different nurse."

Sophie didn't look remorseful in the slightest. Her tone was completely justified. "You do not own this hospital. Medical resources are strictly limited, and there are other patients waiting. Please stop wasting my time."

I laughed out of sheer anger. "Your technique is garbage. I have every right to request a competent nurse."

Sophie lifted her chin, her face a mask of pure stubbornness. "Please do not insult my professional abilities. You kept squirming. Of course I couldn't get the needle in."

I didn't waste another breath on her. I simply pressed the call button for the attending doctor.

The person who rushed through the door was Joey.

"You're sick? Why didn't you tell me?"

The color completely drained from Joey's face the second he saw me. He practically sprinted to my bedside.

His fingers gently supported my bruised arm, his voice thick with undeniable heartache. "How did it get this bad? Why didn't you call me?"

I let out a cold, sharp laugh. "Your nurse has absolutely no idea what she's doing, and then she blames the patient for her own incompetence. Is this the standard of care at your hospital? Tell her to expect a formal complaint."

Sophie's eyes instantly welled with tears. She bit her lip hard.

"Sienna, I know you despise me. You are a wealthy, privileged girl. You could never possibly understand my struggles."

"The hospital is voting for the 'Nurse of the Year' award right now, and this is incredibly important to me. I am entirely alone in this city. I have no one to rely on. I have to earn every single penny with my own blood and sweat. Every path I take, I have to carve out myself..."

I cut her off, thoroughly exhausted. "What does any of your sob story have to do with me?"

Joey instructed another nurse to bring an ice pack and some warm towels. He carefully began treating my bruised arm.

But the words coming out of his mouth chilled me straight to the bone.

"The bruising looks worse than it is. It will fade in a week, and it definitely won't scar."

"Her technique is actually perfectly fine. She was probably just nervous today. If you file a formal complaint, all her hard work for the year will be completely ruined."

"It really isn't easy for a young girl to survive alone in a big city. Just let this go. Be good for me."

Sophie reached up and wiped away a tear.

She tilted her chin up slightly, looking exactly like a martyr who had finally received divine justice.

In the past, if I got a tiny papercut, Joey would hover over me in distress for half an hour. He would meticulously apply a bandage while cursing the paper for being too sharp.

But now, he was pouring all his empathy onto the person who had actually hurt me.

I curled my fingers into tight fists. My chest felt like it was packed with wet cement, but my voice came out ice-cold.

"Call your department head. I am filing a formal complaint against both of you."

Sophie's face hardened with righteous fury. "I take full responsibility for my own actions. Do not drag Dr. Wright into this! Even if you are his girlfriend, you have no right to bully people like this!"

She threw her hands up dramatically.

Her arm caught the open bottle of iodine on the medical cart. The dark brown liquid splashed directly onto the eight-thousand-dollar custom suit resting on the edge of the bed.

Silence blanketed the messy room.

I looked at the ruined fabric and spoke slowly. "That was my outfit for a major client meeting. You just destroyed it."

Sophie froze for a split second before stiffening her neck defiantly. "If you hadn't been intentionally making things difficult for me and Dr. Wright, I never would have panicked and knocked it over. When you really think about it, this is your own fault."

I calmly picked up my phone. "You can explain that logic to the police."

"Wait!"

Sophie looked away, her tone dripping with a bizarre, condescending kind of forgiveness. "At the end of the day, you are the one in the wrong, and you know it. But you are using my livelihood to threaten me. I do not have your money or your power, so I have to swallow this injustice."

"It is just a piece of clothing. I will pay you back. How much is it?"

I leaned back against the pillows, watching her with a perfectly calm expression. I enunciated every single syllable.

"Eight thousand dollars."

Sophie's righteous indignation shattered instantly.

Total panic washed over her features, her voice pitching into a shrill shriek.

"That is impossible!"

"How could a piece of fabric cost that much! Who are you trying to scam!"

"You rich people are all exactly the same. You just use your money to crush normal people..."

I cut her off smoothly. "Are you paying, or am I calling the cops?"

Sophie ran out of the room sobbing hysterically.

Joey didn't chase after her. He just stood there, looking at me like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

I ignored him entirely. I got out of bed, walked straight to the nursing station, and officially filed my complaint.

That evening, Joey insisted on taking me out to dinner.

He fell back into his usual routine, asking about my life in his gentle, soothing voice.

"How have you been lately?"

"Fine."

"What have you been busy with?"

"Just work."

Joey paused, a forced smile touching his lips.

"Why didn't you tell me you cut your hair? If I hadn't seen Brooke's post, I would have had no idea."

"And you don't even text me first anymore. We haven't done our goodnight calls in weeks."

"I've been busy. I don't have the time."

Three short sentences, and the conversation was completely dead.

During our old visits, I always had an endless supply of things to tell him.

From how much I despised the new director at my company, to a cute stray cat I saw on the sidewalk. I would take the most trivial, mundane details of my life and spin them into hour-long stories.

I used to wish I could pour a whole month's worth of unspoken words into his lap the second I saw him.

Now, I just stared at my plate and ate in silence.

Four years of a long-distance relationship.

We went from messaging each other the second we opened our eyes, to barely speaking ten sentences a month.

We went from telling each other everything first, to him being the absolute last to know.

We went from endless late-night talks, to having absolutely nothing left to say.

And it had only taken half a month to unravel.

Joey sat in silence for a long time before reaching across the table to grab my hand.

"I'm sorry. I've been so obsessed with working hard so we can finally end the distance, I completely neglected your feelings."

My parents had always been strictly against me moving across the country for a man.

Because of that, Joey had sworn to buy a house and settle down in New York. His own parents were absolutely furious with the decision and completely cut off all financial support.

Joey squeezed my fingers. "I've been looking into a few high-end private medical centers in New York. A couple of them have already invited me for final interviews. Once my job is secured, we can start house hunting. Which means..."

He tried to keep his tone casual, but the excitement in his voice spiked.

"We won't have to be long-distance anymore!"

I froze.

This was the exact future I had dreamed about for years.

But now that it was practically sitting in the palm of my hand, it felt like we were standing on completely different planets.

"Didn't you want to get a cat? When we buy a place, we can install a massive cat tree on the balcony wall, and set up a little hammock by the window so they can sunbathe."

"Speaking of cats..."

He paused, as if a completely natural thought had just occurred to him. His tone shifted effortlessly.

"Sophie really loves cats too. She always sneaks out back to feed the strays behind the clinic. She really is a good person. She just lacks a filter sometimes."

"Eight thousand dollars might just be a jacket to you, but to her, that's almost a year's worth of living expenses. She isn't like you. She doesn't have a safety net. She hasn't even finished paying off her nursing school loans. By the time she pays rent, she barely has enough left to eat."

"I know you really dislike her, but she's had a remarkably hard life. I had to claw my way up from the bottom too, so I understand exactly where she's coming from."

Word after word. It was all about Sophie.

I never imagined the day would come when the man I loved couldn't speak three sentences without bringing up another woman.

I put down my fork. "You know I despise her, yet you keep bringing her up. What exactly is your endgame here?"

Joey pressed his lips together in a helpless, indulgent smile.

"You've always had a bit of a temper. I spoiled you, and I gladly take the brunt of it. That is my job as your boyfriend. But you can't aim that temper at innocent bystanders, right?"

"Drop the formal complaint. She'll get the suit professionally dry-cleaned and return it to you. Then, you can just offer her a quick apology."

Every single time he defended her, he chipped away another piece of my love for him.

So when I heard those words, I didn't feel heartbroken. I only felt a cold, lingering anger.

I looked at him calmly. "She made a massive professional error. I have absolutely no obligation to tolerate it."

"I only asked her to pay for the suit. I didn't demand compensation for my ruined client meeting or my emotional distress. That is already me being incredibly generous."

"Besides, what does her 'hard life' have to do with me? Does having a tough background suddenly act as a get-out-of-jail-free card for ruining things? If a surgeon accidentally kills a patient, can they just say 'my life is hard' and walk away?"

Joey stared at me, completely stunned.

It was as if I had morphed into a stranger right in front of his eyes.

Unforgiving. Aggressive.

Maybe the old me would have backed down to save his pride. I wouldn't have wanted an outsider to create a rift between us.

But the man sitting across from me right now.

To me, he was just an outsider too.

I locked eyes with Joey and spoke with razor-sharp clarity.

"The complaint and the demand for compensation are staying exactly where they are."

"Also. We're done. I'm breaking up with you."