I Erased Him, Now He Begs

I once loved him for a full seven years. I loved him so much that even when his mistress pushed me off a building, I wouldn't let him go.

But he locked me in a psychiatric hospital and used electroshock therapy to strip away the last shred of my dignity.

I cut open my brain, removed part of my hippocampus, and personally erased him from my memory completely.

He held my "ashes" and went mad for three years, thinking I died in that car accident I staged for him.

Until he traveled thousands of miles to Zurich and saw me living a radiant life.

And I looked at him and only asked softly.

"Sorry, who are you?"

Polina's POV

When I woke up, I heard Ethan Harper on the phone, his voice gentle.

"Lily, I've already suppressed the media coverage. No one will know you pushed her."

After hanging up, he met my gaze, his expression instantly turning cold.

"You're awake?"

"Now that you're awake, get this straight. Last night you slipped and fell on your own. Don't say anything to the media. Lily scares easily, don't frighten her."

She scares easily?

If she scared so easily, she wouldn't have pushed me off a building.

I rolled down from a second-floor balcony and nearly died.

And my fianc Ethan Harper didn't ask if I was in pain, but warned me not to ruin his beloved's reputation.

Last night, Ethan held Lily in his arms, kissed her forehead, and treasured her like a jewel.

When I went up to confront them, Lily gave me a provocative smile, then suddenly leaned backward and grabbed onto my evening gown with all her strength.

She was faking a fall, but dragging me into a real hell.

"Ethan."

My voice was hoarse, and I couldn't help but mock him. "Are you actually blind, or just pretending to be?"

Ethan's brow furrowed.

"Polina, enough."

"Lily had too much to drink and lost her balance. Instead of helping her, you want to make a big scene out of this?"

"The Harper family's stock price can't withstand this kind of scandal. It's time you showed some sense."

Lily was the Harper family driver's daughter. The Harpers adopted her as a child, and she enjoyed all of Ethan's favoritism.

And I was the heir to the White family, his rightful fiance.

Just because I came from a good family, he assumed I could bear anything. Even when I was hurt, I didn't need comfort.

Because Lily came from nothing, he felt that even a slight frown from her meant she'd suffered a terrible injustice.

When I waited for him to cut my birthday cake, he was riding the Ferris wheel with Lily at an amusement park.

When I was humiliated and belittled by the Harper family board of directors because of our arranged marriage, he flew into a rage because a server made Lily wait one second too long.

When my appendix ruptured and I crashed my car into a guardrail from the pain, he was running all over the city to get macarons from another district because Lily mentioned wanting them.

Because I had family background and dignity, I deserved to suffer grievances.

"What if I refuse?" I stared at him, asking each word slowly and deliberately.

Ethan's expression turned completely dark.

He stepped forward and gripped the wrist where my IV was attached.

The needle shifted in my vein, and blood instantly flowed back into the IV tube, shockingly red.

Cold sweat ran down my temples.

But he acted as if he didn't see that tube of backflowing blood. His fingers tightened mercilessly, his tone ice-cold.

"Polina, don't push me. As long as you behave, the position of fiance is still yours."

"Otherwise, don't blame me for being heartless."

My wrist throbbed with pain. More painful than the bone-deep ache was the instant my heart died.

Just then, the hospital room door burst open.

His assistant rushed in frantically. "Mr. Harper! Lily is having a panic attack in the next room. She won't stop crying, and the doctor says her condition is bad!"

Ethan's face changed instantly.

He immediately let go of my hand, not even leaving a single instruction, and rushed out.

I watched that section of red backflow slowly stain the transparent IV tube. The hospital room door slammed shut before my eyes.

I pulled the needle out of my hand myself and pressed down on the bleeding puncture site.

It really hurt.

But compared to watching Ethan go insane over another woman, this pain actually cleared my head.

I picked up my phone and pulled up that webpage I'd browsed late at night a few days ago.

A neuroscience center in Zurich.

They had a very special procedure. Removing a small portion of hippocampal neurons could completely erase someone from your memory.

Before, I always hesitated, feeling that although these seven years were bitter, I couldn't bear to forget them entirely.

After all, I truly had loved him.

But now, I felt there was nothing worth keeping.

I clicked on the appointment portal and filled out the application form.

In the reason section, I only wrote: I don't love him anymore.

Even if I became a person without a past, I would never be Ethan Harper's fiance again.

Polina's POV

I stayed in the hospital for half a month.

During that half month, Ethan didn't show up once.

I heard the nurses gossiping that Mr. Harper had been incredibly busy lately, keeping watch in the VIP ward every day.

Because Lily was terrified and could only sleep at night if someone stayed with her.

As for me, his fiance, only his assistant came once to deliver a fruit basket, along with a message that Mr. Harper was very busy recently.

On discharge day, no one came to pick me up.

I didn't care. I called a taxi myself.

Before getting in the car, my phone received an email from Zurich.

The doctor said my application had been approved. The surgery was scheduled for early next month.

That meant I had less than twenty days to handle everything here.

When I returned to the Harper villa, it was already three in the afternoon.

As soon as I entered, I smelled a sweet, cloying cream scent.

The living room was lively beyond belief. They were hosting an afternoon tea party.

Lily wore that pink dress originally custom-made for me, sitting in the center like a princess surrounded by stars.

Ethan sat right beside her, carefully cutting a piece of cream cake, with patience and tenderness I'd never received in seven years.

I wore the hospital gown I'd brought back, carrying a large bag of medicine, looking completely out of place.

The lively conversation suddenly stopped.

Everyone's eyes turned toward me.

Ethan looked up. The moment he saw me, his brow furrowed.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

He pulled out a napkin to wipe his hands, his tone clearly displeased.

I ignored him, changed my shoes, and headed upstairs.

Since I'd decided to completely forget him, I didn't even have the interest to argue with him anymore.

But someone didn't want to let me go.

Nina held a wine glass and blocked the stairway.

She was Lily's friend, and notoriously snobbish in this circle.

"Oh my, Polina's back."

Nina wore a fake smile and pulled a jewelry box from her bag, shoving it into my hands without asking.

"Lily was so badly frightened this time. Everyone's giving her gifts to comfort her. You're the one who caused this, so you have to personally give her this gift for the matter to be settled."

I was about to push it away when Nina pressed my hands down firmly, deliberately raising her voice.

"Polina, so many people are watching. Surely you won't refuse to give Mr. Harper this much face?"

Ethan also looked over, his gaze pressing down on me heavily. "Polina, don't make a scene."

I looked at him, then at the thing in my hands, and suddenly felt it was all rather pointless.

I walked up to Lily with the jewelry box.

"Take it."

Lily timidly glanced at Ethan before extending both hands to receive it.

Just as I released my grip, her hands suddenly recoiled as if electrocuted.

Crash!

The jewelry box fell heavily onto the marble floor.

A sharp sound. The contents had broken.

It was a custom diamond necklace, now shattered into several pieces.

"Ah!"

Lily cried out, clutching her chest as she fell back onto the sofa, tears instantly flooding out.

"I'm sorry... Polina, I'm sorry... I'm so clumsy, I didn't catch it..."

As she cried, she displayed the bandage wrapped around her wrist. "My hand hasn't healed yet... It's all my fault..."

The socialites around us exploded.

"Oh my God, that was expensive! Nina spent a fortune on it!"

"Polina is so vicious! If she didn't want to give it, fine, but why deliberately smash it?"

"Exactly. So petty, can't even tolerate an adopted daughter. What a disgrace to the White family."

Accusations and curses surged toward me like a tide.

Ethan stood up, looking at me coldly.

"Polina, apologize to Lily."

"I didn't drop it." I looked at him calmly. "She pulled her hands back herself."

"Enough!"

Ethan cut me off sharply. "So many people saw it. You still want to deny it? Is this how the White family taught you to behave?"

I looked at this man I'd loved for seven years and suddenly felt utterly disgusted.

"No need."

I kicked aside the diamonds at my feet.

"I won't apologize. And I'll vacate this place for you."

"I'm moving out."

With that, I ignored the uproar behind me and turned to go upstairs.

Polina's POV

I ignored the accusations behind me and went straight to the master bedroom on the second floor.

The moment I pushed open the door, I froze.

My vanity table was piled with unfamiliar bottles and jars.

My skincare products had been shoved into a corner, and several bottles had been opened and used, their caps not even screwed back on.

In the walk-in closet, several of my current-season gowns had disappeared, replaced by pink dresses still with their tags on, hanging brazenly in the most prominent positions.

Even though I'd already decided to leave, seeing this scene made my stomach churn.

Lily had long since reached into my private space.

And none of this could have happened without Ethan's tacit approval.

I took out a travel bag and started packing.

As for the jewelry, designer bags, and other things Ethan had given me, I didn't touch a single one.

Just as I zipped up my suitcase, the door was pushed open without a knock.

Lily stood in the doorway, still holding the robe she'd taken from my closet.

Seeing my suitcase, the triumph in her eyes was undisguised.

"Polina, are you moving out?"

She leaned against the doorframe, smiling. "This room has great lighting. Ethan said I've been in poor health lately and wants me to move in to recuperate."

I ignored her and pulled my suitcase toward the door.

As I passed her, I said coldly, "Move."

But Lily suddenly changed her expression.

She grabbed my arm, her voice instantly switching to a tearful plea, loud enough for the entire second floor to hear.

"Polina, don't leave! It's all my fault. I shouldn't have made you angry. Please don't go!"

While crying and shouting, she dug her nails hard into my arm.

The sharp pain made me instinctively shake her off.

"Get off me!"

I barely used any force.

But Lily acted like she was made of paper, crying out and falling backward.

This happened to be the landing at the top of the stairs.

Her body tilted, and she rolled down.

"Lily!"

Ethan, who'd heard the commotion downstairs, rushed up just in time to see this scene.

He practically lunged to catch Lily, then looked up at me.

That look. Like he was looking at a murderer.

"Polina, how can you be so vicious?"

Someone nearby who hadn't left yet laughed. "Who would have thought the White family heir had zero tolerance for others. No wonder the White family went bankrupt. Whoever marries her is doomed."

I grabbed my suitcase and walked out of the Harper villa without looking back.

That night I checked into a boutique hotel.

My phone rang. It was Ethan.

I answered, but it was Ethan's grandfather, Victor Harper, on the other end.

"Polina, have you finalized the wedding venue yet? I'm waiting to attend your wedding."

My throat tightened, and tears nearly fell.

In the entire Harper family, only Victor truly cared about me.

"Grandpa..." I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'm not going through with this wedding."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

Then Ethan took the phone.

"Polina, what are you making a fuss about now?"

His voice remained arrogant. "What nonsense are you telling Grandpa? Where are you?"

"I'm watching a TV show." I made up a random lie.

"Alright, stop being difficult."

"There's a watch on my study desk. It was supposed to be an apology gift for you. Since you've left, come back and get it when you have time."

He hung up directly.

The next day, his assistant delivered the watch to the hotel.

"Miss White, Mr. Harper said this is a Patek Philippe he's had custom-made for three years. It's one of a kind. He asks that you stop being temperamental."

The assistant left after setting down the box.

I opened it.

It truly was an exquisite watch, with a full diamond dial, sparkling brilliantly.

Ethan once said that time was the most expensive thing in the world, and his time belonged only to me.

I took out the watch and turned it over.

On the back, clearly engraved in script, was a line:

For Lily.

I stood frozen, then laughed out loud.

What "custom-made for three years," what "one of a kind."

This watch was originally meant for Lily all along.

Ethan Harper, you truly disgust me.

This so called devotion had been a love triangle from the start.

I wiped away my tears and threw the watch back in the box.

I took out my phone and permanently blocked Ethan.

Then I called a luxury goods consignment shop.

"I have several watches and pieces of jewelry to sell. I need cash quickly, the faster the better."

Selling this garbage, plus my savings, would be enough for the surgery fees in Switzerland.

I wanted to dig everything about him out of my brain completely.

Polina's POV

The night I left the Harper villa, I contacted a luxury consignment store.

I dumped all the jewelry Ethan had given me onto the counter.

The owner, wearing gloves to examine the pieces, couldn't take his eyes off them.

"These are all excellent pieces. Especially this pink diamond. It was the Harper family's auction item last year, wasn't it? Are you sure you want to sell everything? You'll take a big hit on the value."

"Sell everything. Buy them outright, don't go through consignment. I need the money urgently."

I signed the papers and looked at the bank card now loaded with a substantial sum.

Combined with my own savings from recent years, it would be enough for the surgery fees in Switzerland and living expenses afterward.

After finishing all this, I found an inconspicuous hotel to stay in.

I'd planned to wait quietly until surgery day and disappear completely.

But Ethan clearly had no intention of letting me go.

On the third afternoon, I was sitting on the hotel bed organizing visa materials when Ethan's assistant suddenly called.

"Miss White, Mr. Harper requests that you go to the private hospital immediately."

I didn't hesitate before hanging up. "I'm not available."

Since we were done, I had no obligation to be at his beck and call.

The other end paused, then spoke with some arrogance.

"Mr. Harper said if you don't arrive within half an hour, your mother's special medication and caregiver fees at the nursing home will be immediately suspended by finance."

My hand shook violently, and the phone nearly slipped.

After the White family went bankrupt, Mother couldn't handle the shock and had a mental breakdown. She'd been staying in an expensive private nursing home ever since.

It was her lifeline, and my only weakness.

Ethan's knife cut precisely where it hurt most.

"I understand."

I hung up, grinding my teeth.

Half an hour later, I arrived at the hospital's VIP floor.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, a strong smell of disinfectant hit me.

Ethan stood at the end of the corridor, his face terrifyingly dark.

Seeing me arrive, he said nothing, just strode over and grabbed my wrist.

"Polina, how long are you going to keep this up?"

He stared at me, his eyes looking at me like a criminal. "Lily's severe depression relapsed. She just slit her wrists in there and is being resuscitated."

"Was it you who contacted the gossip media? Spreading rumors online to provoke her, saying she's a homewrecker who stole someone's position? Do you want to drive her to death?"

He shook me until I felt dizzy. I only found it absurd.

"Ethan Harper, have you lost your mind? I haven't even left my room these past two days, and I haven't been online."

"Still lying!"

Nina suddenly rushed up, shoving her phone in my face, the screen nearly poking into my eyes.

"Polina, the evidence is right here and you're still pretending! All those gossip outlets say Polina White leaked the information! Who else could it be but you?"

Just as I was about to speak, the hospital room door suddenly opened.

Lily rushed out barefoot.

Her hair was disheveled, her wrists wrapped in blood-stained bandages, her entire being in a state of hysteria.

"It was you! You want to kill me! I'm not a homewrecker! I truly love Ethan!"

She screamed, grabbed a glass water cup from the cabinet by the door, and hurled it at me with all her strength.

I was being held tightly by Ethan's grip on my wrist and couldn't dodge.

The glass smashed hard into my temple and shattered.

Searing pain hit me. Warm liquid flowed down along my brow bone, instantly blurring my left eye.

My vision turned blood-red.

I swayed, barely able to stand.

"Lily!"

Ethan cried out, released me to catch the swaying Lily.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here."

He held Lily protectively in his arms, soothing her gently. When he turned to look at me with blood all over my face, his eyes filled with disgust.

"Go get bandaged!"

He shouted harshly, "Don't bleed here and frighten Lily, or I'll make the White family pay the price!"

I wiped the blood flowing into my eye with my hand.

Looking at this pair before me, I suddenly didn't want to explain anymore.

There was nothing to explain.

I was going to forget it all anyway.

Polina's POV

After treating the wound on my forehead, the nurse was about to bandage me.

Ethan pushed the door open.

Two bodyguards followed him, along with a doctor I didn't recognize.

The doctor held a report and looked at me with some sympathy.

"Mr. Harper, based on the stress reaction just now and past medical history, Miss White has typical paranoid personality disorder, accompanied by severe persecution delusion."

"If not intervened immediately, she may pose a life threat to others."

I laughed.

So in that earlier scene, my non-resistance was guilt, and my resistance made me insane.

"Ethan Harper, what are you trying to do?" I stood up, still clutching the blood-stained gauze.

Ethan didn't look at me, only coldly instructed the bodyguards. "Take her away."

"I'm not going! Ethan Harper, this is illegal detention!"

I struggled desperately, knocking over the treatment tray.

But this only confirmed my supposed mania.

Two bodyguards grabbed me from both sides, dragged me out of the emergency room, and shoved me into an SUV.

The car didn't return to the Harper villa but drove toward a fully enclosed private psychiatric rehabilitation center in the suburbs.

It was a place specifically for confining disobedient people from wealthy families.

I was taken into a padded room.

No windows, no sharp objects, only a treatment bed with restraint straps.

Ethan walked in, looking at me tied to the bed.

"Polina, you're ill."

His tone was calm. "The doctor says you have severe pathological jealousy. Your recent resistance, attempts to escape, and the attack on Lily just now are all symptoms of your condition."

"I'm not sick! You're the one who's insane!"

I screamed, my wrists rubbed raw by the restraints. "I want to break up! Can't I just stop loving you? Let me go!"

"It seems quite serious."

Ethan shook his head, taking a document the director handed him. A forced medical custody consent form.

In the guardian section, he smoothly signed his name.

"Treat her. When she's willing to admit her mistake, then stop."

The so-called treatment was actually electrical stimulation.

The doctor placed cold electrode patches on my temples.

"Ethan Harper! You bastard!"

"Begin." He turned his back, unwilling to watch my humiliation.

The instant the current penetrated my nerves, the intense pain left me unable to even scream.

It felt like countless needles were frantically stirring inside my brain, shredding my reason and dignity.

I could even smell my hair burning.

"Will you admit you pushed Lily?" he asked over the sound of the electrical current.

I bit through my lip and said nothing.

Increase the current.

Three full days.

I was injected with sedatives, lying in bed like a waste of space, even needing nursing staff assistance to use the bathroom.

That shame of having my dignity as a human being completely stripped away hurt more than physical pain, driving me to despair.

And in this despair, the last shred of love I had for Ethan Harper was finally uprooted completely and died.

Three days later, I was allowed to be discharged.

Walking out that door, the sunlight hurt my eyes so much I couldn't open them.

My face was deathly pale, and I needed to lean against the wall even to stand.

Ethan stood by the car waiting for me. Seeing me come out, he walked over to help, his tone becoming gentle.

"Feeling better? I did this for your own good. As long as you behave from now on and stop making trouble, this won't happen again."

I lowered my eyes, hiding the deathly ash in them.

I didn't avoid his hand, but nodded numbly instead.

"I understand."

Ethan smiled with satisfaction.

Seeing me compliant, he confidently let go.

"Have the driver take you home. Rest well."

He got into another car.

Watching his departing figure, I dug my palm hard under my sleeve.

Polina's POV

The night I returned from the rehabilitation center, Ethan unexpectedly ate dinner at home.

I sat across from him, quietly cutting my steak.

This peacefulness pleased Ethan greatly.

He poured me a glass of red wine, his tone like rewarding an obedient pet.

"There's a charity auction gala tomorrow night. You'll attend as my date. The rumors outside haven't been good lately. We need to make an appearance to dispel the gossip about your mental instability."

If this were before, I would have thrown the wine glass in his face.

But now I only set down my knife and fork and nodded. "Okay."

Ethan looked at me with some surprise, then walked over and patted my head.

"Good girl. As long as you stay this sensible, Lily won't hold your previous misunderstandings against you."

The next evening, the banquet hall was resplendent.

I wore the dress Ethan had chosen, sitting quietly in a corner.

Even when people around me pointed and whispered, calling me a lunatic who'd just finished psychiatric treatment, I didn't even raise an eyelid.

Until Nina walked over with a glass of red wine.

She was Lily's friend and still held a grudge about the broken necklace incident.

"If it isn't Polina? I heard you just finished psychiatric treatment?"

Nina deliberately raised her voice, drawing everyone's attention. "Why so quiet? Did the electroshock therapy make you stupid? Or have you forgotten who the real master of this circle is?"

Seeing I wouldn't respond, a flash of malice crossed Nina's eyes.

She pretended to walk past, then flicked her wrist.

A glass of red wine splashed directly onto my dress, running down my thighs.

"Oops, my hand slipped."

Nina covered her mouth, laughing without sincerity, waiting for me to lose it.

"Polina won't be angry, will she? You're a mental patient now. If you go crazy and hit someone in public, they'll have to take you back for more treatment."

She wanted to provoke me, to watch me make a scene in front of everyone.

But I only looked down at the wine stain on my dress, my face showing no emotion.

I didn't even furrow my brow.

"It's fine."

I picked up a napkin from nearby and wiped the wine that had splattered on the back of my hand, my tone as calm as discussing the weather.

"It's just a dress. When it's dirty, you throw it away."

Just like some people and things that had become dirty.

Nina froze, making herself look like a clown.

Ethan, who'd been observing from a distance, walked over.

He saw this scene, but he didn't blame Nina. Instead, he seemed satisfied with my reaction.

He put his arm around my shoulder, saying quietly, "Go change. Well done."

He thought it was calmness after treatment.

Only I knew it was numbness after my heart died.

Where he couldn't see, my nails had dug deep into my palm, but I felt no pain.

I could feel the countdown ticking away in my mind.

Late at night, Ethan went to shower.

From the hidden compartment of an old stuffed animal no one noticed, I retrieved the backup phone I'd hidden earlier.

It was my only escape route.

The screen lit up. An email from the Swiss neuroscience center lay there quietly.

"Miss White, your surgery appointment is confirmed. Please be sure to arrive in Zurich on time."