My Sister’s Heart

My twin sister and I both suffered from congenital heart disease, but there was only one suitable heart available.

My parents remained silent, then locked me in a dark room. When I emerged, four of my teeth were broken, and I was covered in bruises.

Finally, I relented, signing the agreement to transfer the heart.

But what they didn't know was that I didnt give in because I was beaten into submission.

It was because the silver crucifix I wore on my left wrist had cracked without warning.

That silver crucifix was a gift from my grandmother, meant only for me.

A cracked crucifix, a sign of impending doom.

Sign it.

My father sat on the sofa, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, filling the living room with swirling smoke.

I couldn't quite make out his expression. My eyelids were swollen and bruised from the beating, forcing me to squint.

Mhm. My hand trembled as I picked up the pen, signing my name.

Due to my shaking hand, my signature was shaky and childish, almost comical.

My mother stood by the balcony, wiping away tears, then timidly looked back at me. Rowan, dont blame your father for being so harsh. Theres only one heart. If your sister doesnt get the surgery now, who knows when her turn will come again

Would I get another turn?

Wasnt I your daughter too?

Did I deserve to be beaten like this?

These words, laced with the metallic taste of blood, were swallowed down with my saliva. In that dark room, I had already cried and screamed these questions over and over again.

Meeting my mothers gaze, she saw only coldness and blankness in my eyes.

Rowan, dont look at me like that, it makes my heart ache I know weve failed you, but your sister truly cant wait. If she doesnt get the surgery soon, she really will

Enough, my father interjected. He glanced at me, a flicker of guilt in his eyes, but his authoritative tone remained unchanged. Your sister needs this heart more than you do! Youre old enough to be a big sister, you should be more understanding of us as parents.

Mhm, understood.

I gathered my belongings and limped out the door.

My quiet acceptance made them even more uneasy.

With my old temper, I would have put up a fight for three days and three nights before giving in.

But now, I was calm, not arguing, accepting the reality.

Outside, I pulled the cracked silver crucifix from my pocket.

This was a gift my grandmother had left specifically for me.

And without my parents even touching it, it had cracked on its own, without any warning.

I still remembered that summer, years ago. Grandma called me into her room, just me, and carefully pulled out this silver crucifix from her pocket.

Rowan, your parents favoritism, Ive seen it, and I remember it. Take this silver crucifix; wear it always. If it ever cracks, remember, abandon everything at that moment.

Your parents sigh, Rowan, your grandma isn't powerful enough to do more, but this is all I can do for you. Remember, abandon everything, dont fight, something terrible will happen.

After Grandma spoke, there was only the endless chirping of cicadas and croaking of frogs.

Grandma was actually very capable.

She was a fortune-teller, a feng shui master, a well-known enchantress, and shed raised my father with her craft.

On her deathbed, she saw no one else, only me.

Because of this, my sister, who had always been our parents precious darling, stared at me with cold eyes.

I knew exactly what she was jealous ofthat Grandmas final favoritism wasnt for her, but for me.

After I came out, Grandma passed away.

My parents and sister gathered around me, demanding to know what Grandma had said.

I smiled. Grandma said for our family to live well, for Mom and Dad to set their hearts straight, and to stop favoring my sister.

At my words, my parents faces darkened. They took my sister and left, muttering that I was talking nonsense.

I chuckled. Actually, that wasnt what Grandma had said at all.

2.

Sis, your face was already big, but after Mom and Dad beat you, it looks even more like a flatbread.

My sister sat on the hospital bed, laughing, her body shaking. Her skin was like snow, her teeth bright and even, making her look like a beautiful princess. Even mocking me, she was pretty.

And I sat there, like an extra, utterly unremarkable.

My parents waited anxiously beside her. My mother tugged at my sleeve several times, repeatedly warning me.

When the doctor comes later, you know what to say and what not to say, right?

I nodded, watching my sister, also suffering from congenital heart disease, sitting on the bed eating fruit neatly cut by our father, while our mother massaged her shoulders.

A picture of a loving, harmonious family.

When the doctor arrived, my mother immediately handed over the prepared agreement to relinquish the heart, but the doctor didn't even spare her a glance.

The doctor stared at the wounds on my exposed skin, pushed up his black-rimmed glasses, his expression grave.

Young lady, are you truly doing this voluntarily? If there are any issues, we can talk outside alone. Id be happy to discuss your thoughts in depth. Youve been waiting for this heart for a long time

I forced a smile, which looked strained with all the bruises on my face. I am doing this voluntarily, Doctor.

If you give up now, it might be another three to five years before a suitable heart becomes available again. I think you should consider this carefully. If necessary, we can offer you other services

I glanced at my parents, whose eyes were shadowed behind the doctor, and my sister, who rolled her eyes. I ignored the doctors subtle hints.

I lowered my head. No need, thank you. This is truly my voluntary decision.

The doctor didn't try to persuade me further. He sighed, then finally took the agreement and left.

A triumphant smile finally bloomed on my sisters face. Even malicious thoughts looked pretty on her. Sis, youre so obedient.

Theres a character archetype online called a femme fatale.

My sister, Lena, fit those four words perfectly.

Lena, my sister, first tested my boundaries in first grade.

She hit me first, then blamed me, claiming I started it.

The reason was simple: her older sister was jealous of her.

My parents and teachers, without hesitation, chose to believe her.

From then on, my sister successfully established a hierarchy in her mind: she was first, my parents second, and I was third.

She stood out among the crowd of runny-nosed elementary school children in puffy clothes, dressed in various princess dresses prepared by our parents, garnering a host of little fans in class.

And I, a year older than my sister, could only ever wear her hand-me-downs.

Clothes that were one size too small always felt constricting on me, making me look like a freak in the eyes of my peers.

I didnt know why my parents could be so biased.

I knew my sister was beautiful and smart, never dropping out of the top five in her grade since childhood.

But I was just ordinary. I hadnt done anything wrong.

From beginning to end, I hadnt done anything terrible; I was just ordinary.

Sis, after my heart surgery, Im going to be healthy and go to college! Thank you for your heart. Ill carry your dreams with me, okay?

Lena smiled sweetly at me.

My heart stung, a mix of sourness and bitterness, intertwined with an indescribable complex of other emotions.

My dream was that university Id gotten into through an extraordinary effort.

It was the same university Lena would attend, having performed consistently well.

I also forced a smile. Alright, you absolutely must be safe, sound, and a-live.

The tone of alive was stretched out, sounding somewhat eerie.

Lena, your words erased the last shred of guilt in my heart.

3.

I carefully wrapped the cracked silver crucifix, bought a train ticket home, and brought it to Grandmas grave.

I looked at the overgrown tombstone, saying nothing. Alone, I hoed away the weeds, then laid out a pile of offerings.

When the red candles had burned down a quarter of the way, a voice spoke behind me.

Young lady, has that silver crucifix cracked?

I turned around. It was a tall, spry old man.

I didnt recognize him, and casually replied, Mhm.

The old mans eyes were shadowed. He looked me up and down. You youre old Mrs. Sterlings granddaughter, arent you? So she gave you that silver crucifix. This item has quite a history; it can ward off evil and prevent great calamities. Your grandma told you that, didnt she?

I packed my things and walked away, not saying a word.

A silver crucifix isnt something you can just wear casually. If the one your grandma gave you really cracked, forget about a bloody disaster, something even worse might happen

I snapped, Get lost!

The old man seemed flustered. You rude young lady! Hey! Did you tell your family about this broken item? Its a sign of impending doom! Im not joking with you!

I stopped, turning back with a wary look.

I was actually considering whether to make him shut up.

The best way to silence someone is to make them someone who can never speak again.

Perhaps my gaze was too terrifying. The old man awkwardly shut his mouth. Alright, alright, these young people nowadays are so angry, they wont even listen to an old man like me

I was about to leave, but his words made me turn back immediately.

My eyes fixed on the old mans weathered face. You youre a Miller?

Old Miller nodded, raising his head with a somewhat triumphant look, squinting as he smiled. Thats right, Im known far and wide. Everyone in these ten villages knows me, Miller, the Elder!

Miller, the Elder, a witch of my grandmas generation.

He was very famous in the village, perhaps even more so than my grandma.

But few knew they were actually fellow apprentices, a senior and junior from the same master.

I smiled, revealing my stark white teeth.

This graveyard was far from the village. Few people ever came here, which was why it was overgrown.

Children in the village were taught from a young age never to go to this graveyard without good reason, because it was wild and remote, perfect for murder and hiding bodies.

Although I had heart disease, killing an old man with limited mobility wasnt difficult.

I bludgeoned Miller to death with a stone, dragged him to a secluded dirt pit in a grove of trees, covered him with branches and weeds. If I was lucky, wild animals would find him and eat him.

To buy time, I smashed Millers face beyond recognition.

I did it without a blush or a racing heart, as calmly as if I were gutting a fish.

I didnt return to my hometown just to pay respects to my grandma.

It was also for her dying words.

Rowan, after the silver crucifix cracks, if you want to live, kill three people: Miller, Evelyn, and Rose.

Millers tongue, Evelyns eyes, Roses heart. Otherwise, once they're gone, they'll betray you.

Rowan, Grandma wouldnt harm you. Go, now.

I pulled a knife from my pocket, pried open his mouth, and cut out his tongue.

These three people had one thing in common.

They were all fellow apprentices of my grandma.