Love With Reservations

My husband, Arthur, dared to cheat on me, thinking I was too old to leave him.

When the young woman suddenly showed up at my door, I initially thought she was a university friend of my daughter.

The next second, I was stunned by the intimate photos she thrust at me.

She believed she could force a divorce, unaware that Arthur only dared to stray because he thought I, being older, wouldn't leave him.

Even my closest friends and family only advised me to endure it, never to leave.

Their reason? I married at twenty, and it had been exactly two decades.

They said Arthurs betrayal only came now, so he had already been more than fair to me.

Furthermore, he was handsome and wealthy, and I controlled the family finances, making him better than other men.

This betrayal, they insisted, I should tolerate.

1.

And at first, I truly considered enduring it.

The young woman, Daisy, was so young, looking barely seventeen or eighteen, while my husband, Arthur Finch, had just celebrated his forty-first birthday. Our daughter was already in college.

Daisy came to me, looking utterly aggrieved, begging me to fulfill her wish for love.

Her eyes were bright and sparkling, just like mine once were when I threw caution to the wind. Now, my own eyes were etched with fine lines, and Id seen a gray hair on my pillow just this morning.

Sweetheart, I can get a divorce.

I was, of course, teasing her.

But Daisy didnt understand, blinking with surprise and delight.

Oh, Mrs. Finch, youre really willing to step aside?

Sure. And what are your plans then?

She pouted, thinking for a moment.

Im planning to go to the Maldives for our honeymoon, and then have a son for him. Mrs. Finch, you dont know, he really wants a son and keeps pestering me to have one for him.

Arthur wants a son?

He was the one who, out of concern for my severe postpartum hemorrhage, voluntarily got a vasectomy.

Clearly times had changed.

My desire to tease her vanished.

I crossed my arms and leaned back.

Daisy, is it? What I just said was a joke. Arthur and I have been married for twenty years. Our families businesses are inextricably linked. We cant get a divorce. Instead of planning your honeymoon, you should focus on how to extract more money from him.

When I got home, Arthur was sitting on the sofa, looking at documents.

Time had truly been kind to him.

Even at forty, he only gained a deeper maturity in his brow, making him even more captivating.

Hearing me return, he didnt look up.

This was our twenty-year understanding: as long as I didnt speak, it meant there was nothing to discuss.

I went into the kitchen and soon brought out three dishes and a soup.

Arthur put down his phone and sat at the dining table.

Vivian said shell be back for Thanksgiving. She wants you to pick her up.

Okay.

Moms not feeling well lately; she needs a check-up.

Alright, you handle it.

The bathroom at home is a bit slippery. I want to find someone to redecorate.

Okay, whatever you say.

Daisy came to see me.

He finally lifted his head from his bowl and looked at me.

His gaze was calm, cold, with a hint of bewilderment.

And?

His mistress came to see him, and he asked me, And?

Even though I was accustomed to being mild-mannered, I was still caught off guard.

Frowning, I looked at him: Arthur, were married. Youre cheating.

I dont know which word struck a nerve, but he slammed his bowl down.

Eleanor, dont use such harsh words.

Daisy is just a child. We dont have that kind of relationship youre imagining. Dont talk nonsense.

A child? How could I not know Arthur had become so adept at self-deception?

That nights dinner ended in discord.

I expected a standoff for a while.

But the next day, after buying groceries, I returned home to find Daisy in the living room.

She was wearing the slippers I bought for our daughter, watching Arthur peel an apple for her.

Oh, Arthur, youre so amazing! The peel didnt even break!

Hmph, making a big deal out of nothing. Here, take it, eat slowly.

Looking at the perfectly round, shiny apple, my mouth tasted bitter.

I used to love apples, and he learned to peel them for me. I never imagined that skill would now be used for another woman.

Daisy sat happily on the sofa, her fair legs swinging back and forth.

I noticed Arthurs eyes darken slightly.

That was the symbol of what he wanted.

He pulled her, lifting her onto his lap.

Just before the two of them could get any closer, I pushed the door open and walked in.

Seeing me, Daisy didn't move from Arthur's lap; she just tilted her head and looked at me.

Oh, Mrs. Finch, we meet again!

Im sorry, I twisted my ankle. Arthur is helping me look at it. You dont mind, do you, Mrs. Finch?

She twisted a couple of times, and Arthur let out a suppressed groan.

My first half of life had been too protected, so much so that now, I suddenly didnt know how to retaliate.

Should I attack her like a common shrew? Or scratch the scoundrels face until it bled?

Neither seemed like a wise move.

After thinking for a moment, I placed the groceries on the dining table.

Then I turned to Arthur and said, Lets get a divorce.

2.

He forcefully pushed me away. Arthur refused, claiming he hadnt committed any fundamental errors.

He even mobilized relatives and friends to persuade me.

My in-laws, whom I had cared for for twenty years, said he hadn't physically cheated, so I should just tolerate it. They would intervene and make him transfer five percent of the company shares to me.

Our mutual friends said that the girl was only after money, so if I left, wouldn't that just play right into her hands? Arthurs business was thriving, his net worth constantly increasing. Only a fool would hand over such wealth to someone else now.

My best friend was also going through a divorce recently. Her husband had cheated too, the only difference from me being that her husband had no money and was ugly. She sighed, advising me to just let it go. All breathing men cheat, and at least Arthur was rich.

You see, it seemed money had become a get-out-of-jail-free card, capable of absolving all marital sins.

I said nothing, still preparing the divorce documents.

My father heard the news and came over, slapping me across the face the moment he walked in.

His face was red with anger: What successful man doesnt socialize? Whats wrong with having one or two women? Wasnt twenty years of him treating you well enough? Do you have to end up in a miserable divorce? Youre forty now. Who would want you after a divorce?

His face was flushed with health; it seemed my stepmother took excellent care of him, and my new younger brother was well-behaved. Naturally, he couldn't spare a thought for whether I was hurt or not.

The last one to come and persuade me was my daughter, who was in college.

When she returned, I instinctively reached out to hug her.

But she pushed me away. Why do you have to divorce Dad?

I, who felt confident in front of everyone else, suddenly flinched.

Your father has another woman, and Mom doesnt want to live with him anymore.

You mean that Daisy? Dad said shes just a friend.

My daughter looked at me impatiently, her expression exactly like Arthurs.

Mom, youve lived a pampered life forever. Can you really handle being divorced? If you cant adjust, I wont take care of you.

To be honest, before she came back, I always thought that at least this child, whom I had raised by hand, would give me a hug.

She would angrily confront her father, question him about why he was hurting Mom, and then stand by me, firmly cutting ties with the cheating man.

Unexpectedly, the moment she returned, she unleashed a torrent of anger on me, then stomped upstairs.

Bang! The door slammed with earth-shattering force, making my very soul tremble.

That night, while showering, Arthur, for the first time in a long while, came into the bathroom.

It had been a year since our last intimacy.

When he entered, his gaze was cold and clear.

But his hands didnt stop, moving familiarly over me.

Dont be angry anymore, hmm?

Tomorrow Ill send her away. She wont appear in front of you again.

My body gradually warmed, but my heart grew colder.

I closed my eyes, letting tears mix with water droplets and fall.

Arthur.

You truly disgust me.

That Daisy, she was the same age as our daughter. Even if he had found someone in their twenties or thirties, I could still attribute it to a mans lust. But he found a girl the same age as our daughter.

That girl was so young, fresh out in the world. How could he lay his hands on her?

3.

Arthur fumed, pushing me away violently.

A sharp pain shot through my ankle. Before I could even look, he grabbed my chin and pulled me to the mirror.

I disgust you? What about you? Dont you disgust me?

Look at that ridiculous haircut, does it have any femininity? Look at your chest, its already sagging to your belly! And look at your face, those splotches make me lose my appetite!

Eleanor, do you even look like a woman anymore?

Well continue like this, and I guarantee youll live a life of comfort. But if we divorce, youll wish you were dead.

Even after Arthur left, I was still trembling all over.

I couldnt believe that the man I had loved for twenty years could say such things, or perhaps he had changed long ago, and I was too blind to see it?

I clenched my hands tightly, letting blood run into my palms.

A sharp pain surged, making my mind even clearer.

Arthur, do you think I have no way to deal with you? That you can do whatever you want?

Just wait. This divorce, Im getting it for sure.

The next day, downstairs, Arthur had uncharacteristically prepared breakfast. Our daughter was eating, and seeing me, she lowered her head again, unwilling to engage.

He, however, played the good guy, softly coaxing our child: Vivian, we agreed yesterday, you have to forgive Mom.

Only then did our daughter reluctantly say, Mom.

The child was tired from the car ride yesterday. Come quickly and eat, I made your favorite sandwich.

He and I met eyes, and there was undisguised triumph in his.

I said nothing. A moment later, the doorbell rang, and the maid brought Daisy in.

Mrs. Finch, good morning. Im here to deliver documents to Mr. Finch.

They openly clasped hands. Our daughter didnt think anything of it; instead, she invited Daisy to eat.

Daisy demurred for a moment, then turned and sat in my seat.

As if to spite me, Vivian placed my breakfast in front of her.

She also poured her a glass of the orange juice I usually loved.

Daisy also put all her effort into trying to win Vivian over. After exchanging school information, they discovered they were university alumni.

Oh, Vivian, you have such a nice personality! I thought youd dislike me just like Mrs. Finch

My moms just going through menopause lately, shes paranoid. She insists you and my dad are having an affair. Just ignore her.

By the end of the meal, the two had actually become good friends.

I hadnt listened to anything since Vivian said I was paranoid, and I walked out of the house.

I needed to find someone, an old classmate I hadnt seen in over ten years.

My first love, the renowned lawyer, Ethan Grant.

4.

At the coffee shop, I told Ethan about my desire for a divorce.

He scoffed. Youd really give that up?

Still so ill-tempered, even at his age.

If only he had been a little more gentle, I never would have broken up with him.

Too lazy to argue with this stubborn mule, I pulled a card from my bag.

Ive checked around. Your market rate is a million. Heres half a million; Ill pay the other half after the divorce. This is business, no personal feelings.

Ethan toyed with the card, then tucked it into his bag.

Alright, boss.

On the way back, he offered to drive me.

Compared to my own harmonious family life over the years, his had been much harder. I heard his wife passed away a few years ago from illness, and they had no children. He simply poured all his energy into work, and his career flourished, making him a top lawyer in Sterling City.

Ethans car was a flashy Maserati, roaring as it drove.

I kept frowning. At your age, why do you still like such flamboyant things?

I wondered why his wife had ever fallen for him.

Ethan raised an eyebrow. You used to like this kind of flashy stuff too, remember?

That left me speechless.

In my twenties, I certainly did like gaudy things, but what sane person at forty can still play around like that? He truly had a lot of energy.

Too lazy to talk more with him, after getting out of the car, I transferred him three hundred dollars.

Ethan: ?

Me: Cab fare.

Ethan: Alright, boss.

Though his car was flashy, Ethan taught me a lot about preparations for divorce. Following his guidance, I managed to uncover Arthurs bank account details and hired a private investigator who got photos of the address where he was keeping his mistress.

It was a house I had bought before marriage. We lived there during our courtship and for the first few years of our marriage. Later, when Vivian was born, we hired a nanny, and the house was too small, so we moved to the current villa.

I hadnt visited it in years. Arthur actually hid her there?

I found the keys, chose a day when they werent there, and opened the apartment door.

Everything inside was unchanged, except for some added clutter.

It was clear that Daisy truly wanted to marry Arthur.

Behind the sofa hung their framed photo.

By the dining table, there were knitted dolls she had handmade.

In the kitchen, a rich soup was still in a thermos.

If the photos pose didn't exactly match mine from back then.

If the dolls she knitted werent my favorite orange plushies.

If the soup she brewed wasn't the exclusive recipe I developed for Arthurs stomach condition.

Then I might have applauded this loving, illicit couple.

But the soup recipe, I had only ever given to my mother-in-law.

Which meant, besides me, only she knew it.

Yet now it appeared in Daisys living space.

The continuous betrayals made me question if I truly was such a failure, to make everyone around me so readily choose to hurt me?

Just as my emotions were churning, the door suddenly opened.

Daisy walked in happily.

Then turned and flung herself into Arthurs arms.

Its wonderful! Arthur, Im finally going to have a son for you!

Arthur stroked her face indulgently, then looked up, and our eyes met.

5.

For the first time, I saw panic on Arthurs face.

He probably never imagined hed see me here.

At that moment, I, on the other hand, calmly took out my phone and started recording.

Seeing this, he tried to snatch it away, but I blocked him: Arthur, think carefully. This room has surveillance cameras. If I retrieve the footage, both your reputations will be ruined.

Arthur let out a ragged breath. He had dominated the business world for years, accustomed to controlling everything.

Faced with this loss of control from me, he instinctively felt irritated.

Eleanor, stop making a scene and go home.

I want a divorce.

Im not divorcing you. Give up!

I want a divorce. Well finalize it tomorrow, or you can expect to be all over social media.

Why are you causing trouble? Havent you thought about your father, my parents, and our daughter?

He brought up Vivian, and I finally broke down.

I picked up a vase and smashed it to the floor.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Dont you dare mention them!!!

I rushed over and slapped him hard.

You bastard! You didnt think about them when you cheated, you didnt think about them when you had a child with another woman, and now that Ive caught you red-handed, you want me to think about them? What kind of double standard are you, so good at letting yourself off the hook?

Youre just an old pervert who cant keep his pants on. After disgusting me, you want to shut me up? Im telling you, in your dreams! Either you divorce me tomorrow, or well fight it out in court, and let the chips fall where they may. Your call!

I went straight to Ethan Grants law firm. He happened to be free, so he found me an office and poured me a glass of water.

Whats wrong? Youre so upset.

Dont even ask. I ran into the mistress. Shes pregnant.

What are you thinking now?

At this, my anger flared. What do you think I can think? Is thinking even useful now?

Ethan paused, pushing the water glass closer to me.

This small gesture immediately extinguished my anger: Im sorry, I shouldnt have taken it out on you.

He shrugged: No problem, the client is always right.

Ethan said that the current situation was very favorable for me. I had photos of the apartment, and the fact that Arthur had a child with someone else was an undeniable de facto marriage. This situation would be even more advantageous for subsequent asset division.

My mind felt numb; I couldnt articulate what I was feeling.

When I left the law firm, he offered to drive me, but I refused.

I wanted to walk alone.