Dusk Rain Over the City, Gone Is the Old Acquaintance

After the miscarriage, I found new ways each day to torment Sebastian.

I watched the cronutone hed searched all over New York to findhit the floor for the third time. A faint smile still touched Sebastians lips.

You know, darling, he said lightly, you really are a handful.

He casually picked up the ruined pastry. Jane heard about your miscarriage. She was so worried it would upset me that she took care of her own little situation.

He paused, letting the words land. You both lost a child. But the moment she was out of surgery, she was back home, doing my laundry, cooking for me, charming my business partners at dinner. Sweet as a kitten.

He looked at me, something unreadable in his eyes. Not like you, ordering me around a hundred times a day.

Sebastian ruffled my hair as if I were a child, then told his assistant to buy ten different desserts.

But, he grinned, that fiery spirit is exactly what I love about you.

I stood frozen, a metallic taste of blood in my throat.

In that shattering moment, I finally saw how pathetic I must have looked, boasting to other corporate wives that my Sebastian would never cheat.

Lindsay, don't look at me like that.

Sebastian sighed, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from my forehead. It was a business dinner. Mr. Harrison set us all up with some aspiring models. I wasnt going to touch her, I swear. But Jane told me she said if I didnt take her, the next man might be some old lech, a fat slob, or worse, someone whod hurt her.

The girl was in a pitiful state, he said, his voice laced with false nobility. I just let her stay with me. It wasnt a betrayal.

The air conditioning was set to a comfortable 72 degrees, but a violent shiver wracked my body.

Tears welled in my eyes, but my smile was pure acid. You got her pregnant, and youre telling me its not a betrayal? What is it then, Sebastian? A fucking charity project? Or just you getting your kicks on the side!

The shout ripped from my lungs, and a sharp, twisting pain shot through my lower abdomen.

Panic flashed across Sebastians face. He rushed me to the sofa and pressed a glass of warm water into my hand. You just had a miscarriage. You need to be careful.

He rubbed his hands together, blowing on them until they were warm, then gently placed them on my stomach.

A faint warmth seeped through my clothes, and for a heart-stopping second, I was transported back five years, to a winter that felt just as cold as this one.

We were crammed into a shoebox apartment in the heart of the city. A hundred square feet against the glittering, merciless New York winter.

Sebastian would clutch a glass of boiling water, hissing through the pain as it scalded his palms, just so he could warm my hands, my feet, my belly. No matter how brutal the winter, he kept me warm.

The memory softened the hard edges of my rage. I sniffled, my resolve wavering just enough to give him a chance to explain himself.

Darling, my relationship with Jane is like a man and his cat. I saw this poor creature, took her in, and now shes fiercely loyal. Thats all there is to it.

He continued, his tone infuriatingly reasonable. Janes a good girl. She knows her place. She even swore that if she ever got pregnant again, shed take care of it unless it was a girl, so it would never threaten your position.

Sebastian shrugged, a casual, easy smile on his face. Which works for me. Ive always wanted a daughter. A sweet, obedient one, just like Jane.

That was his explanation.

They had slept together. They had created a child together. They were already dreaming of a future daughter together.

And none of that counted as betrayal.

My stomach churned violently.

I summoned every ounce of strength I had left and slapped him across the face. A sob caught in my throat, choking off my words.

The slap was hard. A thin trickle of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth.

He calmly wiped it away with a handkerchief, his eyes darkening. Lindsay, go ahead and ask any of your friends in the socialite circle. Ask them about the mistresses of other CEOs. Theyre all nightmares. Some of them show up on the wifes doorstep, others are popping out sons left and right to fight for the inheritance.

He leaned in closer. Jane is quiet. She loves me, and she respects you. Whats so hard to accept? Get rid of her, and the next one might not be so manageable. Then youll really have something to cry about.

It took me a moment to process the true meaning behind his words.

He was telling me that if it wasn't Jane, it would just be someone else.

I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment his heart had turned.

Sebastian, I began, my voice trembling, if you dont love me anymore, we should just get a

His lips crashed down on mine, silencing me.

It was a deep, desperate kiss. When he finally pulled away, he was breathless.

He lit a cigarette, the flame illuminating a wild, reckless smile. Weve been through ten years of hell and back together. How could I not love you?

He took a long drag. Lindsay, think of it like a meal. You like a little sweet with your savory, right? Im the same. A little bit of spice like you, and a little bit of sweetness like Jane it keeps things from getting boring.

He said he still loved me.

Cheating was just diversifying his palate.

But real love doesn't get boring.

Sebastian glanced at his watch and shrugged on his overcoat. Like nothing had happened, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. Ive got another dinner with Harrison tonight. You be a good girl and wait for me to come home.

He left with a spring in his step.

I never used to understand why he seemed so happy to go to those "business dinners." I always pictured them as a chore: forced smiles, endless toasts, tedious negotiations. I thought his happiness came from closing a deal, from earning the money that would give our baby and me a better life.

Today, I finally understood. Their "business" was a blur of booze, bullshitting, and young models.

Of course he was happy.

This world of cheap champagne and expensive lies was where Sebastian had rotted from the inside out.

My hands trembled as I opened the tracking app my friend had insisted I install on his phone.

Id once thought I would never, ever use it.

But now

I needed to see. I needed to know what kind of temptation could shatter eight years of love so easily.

Through the app's remote camera, I saw him. In a private room, half-hidden by a screen, a group of executives laughed and joked. Sebastian was right there with them.

Mr. Harrison pushed a glass of whiskey toward him. My first instinct was to burst in and stop them.

In the early days of the company, we were dirt poor. He never let me go without my favorite cronuts, but he lived on instant ramen for three years straight. As the business grew, he pushed himself too hard, drinking his way through deals until he developed a stomach ulcer and started coughing up blood. His stomach was shot. One drink was agony.

But before I could move, the girl beside himJaneacted faster. She snatched the glass and downed the entire thing in one go.

Her pretty, pale face contorted in pain. It was obvious she couldn't handle her liquor, but shed taken the hit for him.

She placed the empty glass back in Mr. Harrisons hand, her smile shy. Ill be drinking for Mr. Vaughn tonight, she said softly. And to keep everyone entertained, Ill dance for you. All I ask is that you gentlemen don't push him to drink.

Without a second thought, she began to dance in the center of the room. She bent backward, dropped into the splits, spun like a topa desperate puppet with no dignity left.

The scene was sickeningly familiar.

Five years ago, Sebastian landed a massive contract. For us, back then, it was a life-changing deal, the kind that meant wed finally made it.

At the dinner, the client, drunk and sloppy, slurred, I hear your lovely Lindsay was the top-ranked arts student in the country. How about this: if she does a little pole dance for us, Ill sign the contract right now.

The humiliation was a physical blow, but for Sebastians future, I thought it was worth it.

But when I returned in the dance outfit, I found Sebastian screaming at the client. Hed smashed a glass, flipped the table, and thrown a punch.

He spent three days in a holding cell and lost the deal completely.

I cried, calling him a fool. But he just kissed away my tears. Dont be silly, Lindsay. Money bought with your dignity isn't money I want.

His voice was a low whisper against my ear. Im going to buy you the most beautiful penthouse in this entire city, and Im going to do it with clean money

Tears blurred my vision, snapping me back to the present.

The same scenario, but so, so different.

The Sebastian I knew would never let me debase myself at a dinner table.

Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe Jane was just a pet to him, an obedient little thing he kept around.

He didn't love these other women.

Eight years of love fought a brutal war against my own moral code. I couldn't accept this grotesque mockery of a marriage, but I couldn't bear to lose the man Id loved for nearly a decade.

I was desperately, pathetically trying to lie to myself: He feels differently about me than he does about her. Im the one he truly loves.

The next sound I heard was a glass shattering.

Sebastian had grabbed Janes wrist, stopping her mid-spin.

Youre my woman, he growled, his voice low and dangerous. I barely get to see enough of you myself. Why the hell should you dance for them?

He shot a venomous, smiling glare at Mr. Harrison, his tone pure steel. Harrison, if I ever catch you making a spectacle of Jane again, consider your lease on the Northgate property terminated.

His voice dropped, each word a threat.

Shes my woman. Not your plaything.

I gasped for air, my legs threatening to give out from under me.

Mr. Harrison was one of Sebastian's most critical business partners. Tearing up that contract would be mutually destructive.

For a girl like Jane, Sebastian was willing to gamble with the one thing he valued most: his empire.

I couldn't watch anymore. Wiping away tears, I fled.

Back home, I sat on the couch in the dark, waiting. Waiting for Sebastian to come home. Waiting for the final, soul-destroying confrontation.

But Sebastian never came. Instead, a friend request popped up on my phone.

The profile picture was a fluffy little lamb. The username was Little Lamb. It had to be Jane.

The second I accepted, a picture came through.

It was our bed. On it, Sebastian was asleep next to another woman.

My heart seized. I typed with shaking fingers. What is this? Are you trying to tell me he has other women besides you?

Jane sent a smirking emoji, followed by a message. Oh, no, nothing like that.

I just had my procedure, so I cant really take care of Sebastian. And you know how strong his needs are. So, I just found a clean girl for him.

Her words shattered what little was left of my sanity. To please Sebastian, she would go this far? She was a psychopath. A complete and utter lunatic.

Rage burned through me. But another message arrived before I could reply.

But he didnt even touch her.

He gave her some money and told her to get lost. He said besides me, he doesnt want anyone else.

Lindsay, when you were pregnant, he couldnt control himself and came to me. But now, for my sake, he can resist temptation. Tell me, which one of us do you think he loves more?

I wanted to scream at this shameless woman, but I didn't even have the strength to type. I curled into a ball on the sofa, tears streaming silently down my face.

This was all a game to her. She was showing off.

Showing off how, after her abortion, Sebastian stayed by her side, while he ignored dozens of my messages.

Showing off how Sebastian could betray mehis first love, his wifefor her, and then, for her sake, remain faithful and never touch another woman.

I bit my lip, fueled by a bitter, desperate need to wound her back. I sent a scathing reply: Dont be an idiot. If Sebastian really loved you, would he have made you get an abortion just because I miscarried?

The dark screen of my phone reflected my own twisted face, contorted with jealousy.

Before I could sink into my self-loathing, her response came.

I think youre the idiot here.

You see, I didnt have an abortion. I miscarried. It happened at that business dinner, after I drank too much for Sebastians sake. He cried all night, holding me and telling me how sorry he was.

To make it up to me, he put something in the milk you drank every night. Thats why you started bleeding, why you miscarried. He said it was his compensation to me. That the firstborn heir of the Vaughn family could only come from me.

Clatter.

The ceramic mug slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor.

I felt hollowed out, a ghost in my own home. I stumbled numbly towards the door, needing to find Sebastian, to demand an explanation.

Only then did I look down and see the trail of blood I was leaving behind me.

Shards of ceramic were embedded in the soles of my feet.

A raw, animalistic sob tore from my throat.

It wasn't the glass in my feet that hurt. It was the shards in my heart.