Past Loves as Discarded Paper

My brother is the tragic second male lead in a novel.

Right now, heartbroken over the heroine, hes about to kill himself.

I dont try to talk him out of it. Instead, I lie down on a hotel bed and create a few fake hickeys on my neck. Then, I set up my phone to take a photo from a boyfriends point of view.

Using the persona of some bleach-blond punk, I anonymously send the picture to my brother.

Ur sister is so hot. Decided im gonna marry her. I know im just some punk but ill make her happy. Can u just like, back off?

Then, a follow-up: Also, shes so fine, my bae 4 life. Ill protect her forever. We gonna be makin out every day.

My brother, with the barrel of a gun pressed to his temple, sees the two messages.

His vision goes black.

He grits his teeth.

With his left hand, he crushes his phone. With his right, he crumples the guns steel barrel.

Suicide attempt: postponed. Theres a punk out there trying to mess with his sister. And hes going to kill him.

I was an orphan, living on the streets.

When I was six years old, a group of men grabbed me, took me to a sprawling mansion, and threw me at the feet of a young man named Sebastian Knight, an heir to one of the citys most powerful families.

Thats when I heard the voicesone was Sebastians, the other was something else entirely.

The voice was cold and mechanical. Sebastian Knight, she is the malicious supporting character. She will bring pain to the female lead. You must kill her now to protect the heroine.

I froze.

Im a what? A malicious character? What does that even mean?

Are they going to kill me?

Sebastian let out a lazy sigh and swiveled in his leather chair. A gun was in his hand. Our eyes met.

He blinked, then let out a short, incredulous laugh. He pointed at me. You cant be serious, he said to the empty air. Youre telling me this six-year-old is the villain? Whats she gonna do, attack the heroine with a Barbie water pistol?

The System explained, She is young now, but when she grows up, she will cause the heroine immense suffering.

They were talking so much. I was so hungry my head was spinning. I couldnt focus on anything else.

I tugged on the hem of Sebastians expensive trousers and looked up at him. Brother, I whispered, I want to eat.

The System gasped. As expected of the beautiful and cunning villainess! Such a powerful move! Truly terrifying! Sebastian, cover your eyes! Dont let her cuteness sway you! Kill her!

Sebastian paused. Tch, but she called me brother.

The Systems voice was grave. Think of the heroine you love. Would you want to see her hurt?

At the mention of the heroine, Sebastians expression hardened. He raised the gun.

But then, his gaze fell on my skinny, frail arms.

He hesitated. No rush, he told the System. Even prisoners on death row get a last meal. We can kill her after shes eaten.

After I ate, I got sleepy. Brother, I want to sleep.

The System sighed. While its true she is rather cute, and pitifully small and thin still! Sebastian, we cannot afford to be soft. Even if she calls us brother, we must not falter!

That set Sebastian off. Hey, whats this we? She only called me brother! Dont you go getting a big head, you useless System!

They argued for a while. By the time they were done, I had curled up on the rug and fallen fast asleep.

The System sighed again. Lets get back to business. Kill her quickly.

Sebastian looked down at my sleeping form. No rush, he said. Well kill her after she wakes up. Its bad manners to ambush someone in their sleep.

The System considered this. True. And when she wakes up, she might even call us brother again Er, I mean, it will be easier to kill her when shes awake.

Three months passed.

Every single day, Sebastian and the System would plan my demise.

And every single day, theyd decide, No rush, no rush.

Finally, Sebastian declared that my education couldnt be neglected. The System agreed that this was a valid point.

And so, together, they gave me a new name, Aria, and enrolled me in the finest elementary school.

From that day on, Sebastian stopped revolving his world around the heroine.

Because now, he had to revolve it around my teachers.

Excuse me, teacher, why are two hairs missing from my Arias left eyebrow today? If anything happens to her, I will have this entire school razed to the ground!

Teacher, in this class photo, why isnt my Aria standing front and center?! For Gods sake, shes clearly the most beautiful child here! Do you think I donate millions to this school every year for nothing?

The overbearing CEO in him was beginning to bloom.

And the little devil in me was, too.

The principal started calling Sebastian directly. Mr. Knight, hello, yes. The thing is, today in class, Aria was caught hiding all the boys gym shorts. Theyre quite upset.

Sebastians reply was deadpan. Boys dont need gym shorts. Tell them to stand still and let Aria have her fun.

The principal was speechless.

Of course, when I got into too much trouble, Sebastian would try to discipline me.

Like the time my teacher called him. Mr. Knight, I saw Aria reading a book in class that wasn't part of the curriculum. At first, I thought it was The Call of the Wild and was so pleased she was an admirer of classic literature. But then I looked closer and it was The Call of the Wild Thing.

Sebastian was about to punish me, but thats when the System would inevitably sigh in his head.

You know, shes never had parents. Shes only ever had you.

Go on, Sebastian. Yell at her. Look at her, just standing there, watching you. Shes not pitiful at all. Not one bit.

That was my cue.

Id look up at Sebastian, take his large hand in both of my small ones, and blink my big, innocent eyes.

And just like that, his resolve would crumble.

The 500-word apology essay hed assigned me would become 300 words, then 100.

Finally, he told me to just write five words.

He was probably expecting Brother, I am so sorry.

But when he opened the note, it read: I love you, brother.

He and the System both gasped in unison. Tears welled up in their eyes, and they couldnt bring themselves to say another harsh word to me.

Heh. This young villainess has a few tricks up her sleeve.

I had, however, seen Sebastian truly angry once.

He was on a date with the heroine, Seraphina Vale. It was supposed to be an important one. According to the plot, this was the date where he would fall completely in love with her.

But just as he arrived, he got a call from my principal.

Mr. Knight, its a disaster! We had a school cooking activity today, and Arias green beans werent cooked all the way through! The entire class of thirty students is being rushed to the hospital! Your Aria shes turned into the schools own Typhoid Mary!

Sebastian had to abandon his date with Seraphina to clean up my mess.

I remember it so clearly. It was the first time he ever lost his temper in front of me.

He stormed into the principals office and roared, Idiots! They knew Aria was cooking! Why didnt they think to take an antidote beforehand? Have they considered the psychological trauma this will inflict on my Aria? What if shes too scared to eat now? Shes already so thin! And you people have the audacity to frighten her further!

The principal, drenched in a cold sweat, nodded furiously. Youre absolutely right, Mr. Knight! These children today have no foresight! How could they not take an antidote? Ill have a word with them! I do hope Miss Aria wasnt too frightened. Please, dont be angry

Still, Sebastian was worried that the Great Green Bean Incident would make the other kids avoid me.

So, he sent each of the thirty hospitalized students a little get-well gift: a deed to a condo in downtown Manhattan and the keys to a brand-new Rolls-Royce.

Every single one of them woke up to find a property title and a car key on their bedside table.

They were ecstatic. They asked each other if they had died and gone to heaven.

In the end, not a single student held a grudge against me. In fact, many of them started begging me to be their personal chef and cook them some more undercooked green beans.

Ever since I got my brother, life had been pretty great.

I thought this as I dodged three classmates who were chasing me with empty bowls.

Time flew by.

The year I turned sixteen, Sebastian was twenty-seven.

One day, I was sitting in class when shimmering text started floating above the ceiling, visible only to me.

[Such a shame. Is the devoted second male lead, Sebastian Knight, really about to be written out of the story?]

[Yeah, the heroine just got engaged to the male lead. She invited Sebastian to the wedding and even rubbed it in his face, comparing him to her poor-but-proud fianc. She told him, Sebastian, your Rolex will never shine as brightly as the ambition in his eyes! Im marrying him, and I hope I have your blessing. Sebastian was literally shaking.]

[The funny thing is, the poor guys ambition is to get rich enough to buy a Rolex. I dont know what shes on about.]

[Never mind that, in twenty minutes, Sebastian is going to shoot himself. Ugh, hes my favorite character. Its so sad. After he dies, his business rivals will ruin his family, and his sister Aria will go from a princess to a pauper. So tragic.]

My brother is going to kill himself?!

I shot up from my desk and bolted out of the school.

I couldnt let him die. I had to find him!

But where would he be? I tried calling, but he wasnt picking up. The call didnt go to voicemail; it was being rejected.

In a flash of inspiration, I knew what I had to do. I would never make it to him in time, wherever he was.

Time for some unorthodox methods.

I ran into a costume shop, bought a cheap, bleach-blond wig, and checked into a shady motel next door. I stuffed a towel inside the wig to give it the shape of a head and laid it on the bed. Then I lay down, pinched my neck to create a few angry-looking hickeys, and tore open the collar of my school uniform. I positioned the fake blond head on my chest, closed my eyes, and set my phones camera on a timer.

Just like that, I had a scandalous-looking, post-coital selfie, taken from a lovers perspective. In the photo, a girl with a tired expression sleeps, a glaring hickey on her neck. Her white uniform shirt is undone, and a man with shocking blond hair rests his head on her chest.

I sent the photo to my brother from an anonymous number.

Ur sister is so hot. Decided im gonna marry her. I know im just some punk but ill make her happy. Can u just like, back off?

And the follow-up: Also, shes so fine, my bae 4 life. Ill protect her forever. We gonna be makin out every day.

Less than a second later, a reply came through.

You bastard. Who are you?

Touch her again, and I will kill you.

The text on the ceiling scrolled frantically.

[Wait? Why isnt the second male lead dying?]

[I dont know, he just started screaming something about a bleach-blond punk and Ill kill you and then ran out.]

I let out a long, shuddering breath and collapsed onto the bed. The knot of terror in my chest finally loosened, just a little.

I knew the show wasnt over yet.

I skipped my afternoon classes. That evening, I deliberately came home wearing high heels and a miniskirt.

The massive foyer was dark, which was strange. I reached out and flicked on the lights.

And there he was. Sebastian, sitting on the central sofa, with the entire household staff standing in two silent rows behind him. He sat on his throne-like chair, broad shoulders pressed against the red velvet, dark hair falling over his forehead. His narrow eyes were cold, his face an emotionless mask.

I jumped. Sebastian? What are you doing home so early?

He didnt answer. His cold, dark eyes were locked on me, studying me for a long moment. It was late autumn, and I had a coat over my skirt, along with a thick, gray mens scarf wrapped around my neck, conveniently hiding the hickeys.

His voice was calm, almost unnervingly so. You skipped class this afternoon. Where did you go?

Um, I I was out with friends.

Friends? His tone was glacial. Cant you find any friends who dont have bleached-blond hair?

I looked down, hiding the guilt on my face, feeling like a student caught cheating by a teacher.

Sebastian stood up.

The staff immediately understood and filed out of the room, leaving the two of us alone in the cavernous mansion.

He walked toward me, step by step, until he stood right in front of me, casting me completely in his shadow. I only came up to his collarbone, and the pressure was so intense I instinctively took a step back.

His voice came from above me. Take off the scarf.

It was strange. I hadn't actually done anything wrong, so why did I feel so guilty?

I forced a sweet smile and looked up at him. Brother wait, have you been busy lately? I missed you. Are you tired? Did you miss me?

He looked down at me, his voice cutting like glass. Either you take it off, or I will.

Fine. There was no getting out of this.

I lowered my head. Ill do it.

I moved as slowly as I possibly could, but eventually, the scarf came off. It had barely hit the floor before Sebastian kicked it away. In the next second, his cold fingers pressed down hard on the most prominent hickey. The touch made me shiver, but he didnt pull away.

He stared down at me. What is this?

I said nothing.

Sebastians jaw was clenched so tight I thought it might crack. Aria, youre sixteen, for fucks sake! How far did you go with him?

My face burned. I turned away. Its none of your business.

He straightened up, looking down at me from his full height, his voice dropping to absolute zero. Im going to ask you one last time. Are you going to tell me, or not?

I stared up at him, stunned. From the day he took me in, Sebastian had done nothing but spoil and protect me. I had caused every kind of trouble imaginable, but he had never, ever looked at me like this. His expression was terrifying. It made my blood run cold.

If only the System were here. It might have been able to reason with him. But it was off on a mission in another world.

I knew I had to keep the act going. Sebastian needed something to live for, something to be angry about.

My body started to tremble.

Then, I threw myself onto the floor and burst into tears. I wont tell you! Why do you keep grilling me like this? You can do anything for Seraphina because you love her! Well, I love my boyfriend, and I can do anything for him too! All I did was love him, whats so wrong with that? Why are you interrogating me like a criminal? Get away from me!

After that passionate, unhinged, love-crazed monologue, the room fell silent.

Sebastians expression didnt change much, but his eyes lost their focus for a moment, as if something had just clicked into place in his mind.

He froze, looking down at me, and muttered in disbelief, Did you learn this from me?

He stared at the weeping girl on the floor, and it seemed to become hard for him to breathe. Of course a child would grow up to be like the person who raised them. Her current love-crazed state was entirely his fault. He had given everything for Seraphina, so she had learned to do the same. She, too, would give everything for the one she loved, without a thought for the consequences. Even her own body.