If Love Is Forgotten, We Call It Even

I was waiting for an ad to finish on my show when I scrolled past a viral video. The caption was about an ex-boyfriend.

Its been five years since we broke up, and hes never once let my streaming subscription lapse.

The top comment was from a burner account:

Im the posters ex. The subscription is linked directly to her phone number, so it renews automatically. Shes never asked me for a cent.

She was an amazing friend and partner. It was always my pleasure to spend money on her.

This is my choice and has nothing to do with her. Please be kind in the comments. It hurts me to see people speak ill of her.

The replies flooded in:

OMG, he saw people hating on her and exposed his own secret account just to protect her! Im crying!

On impulse, I clicked on the burner accounts profile. A wave of profound, chilling absurdity washed over me.

This devoted, romantic man was Eric, my fianc.

I stared at the screen, and the love I had clung to so desperately for five years suddenly evaporated.

If I cant have what I want, then I dont want it at all.

...........

The videos likes kept climbing. Soon, someone dug up information on Erics account.

WHOA! I know these two! Eric was so good to Molly!

They were high school sweethearts until their sophomore year of college and almost never fought! He wouldve given her the moon and stars! We were all so jealous!

I think they broke up because Erics parents didnt approve!

But I heard Eric has a girlfriend of five years now. They were set up, I think. Its not about love, just about being suitable.

As I read that last comment, the show I was watching cut to a "subscribe now" screen.

It hit me then. Eric had forgotten to renew my subscription. Again.

He could remember to pay for his ex-girlfriends for five years straight, but he couldnt remember mine.

My knuckles whitened around my phone. A tight knot formed in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

The comment was right, in a way. From Erics perspective, we were set up.

What he didnt know was that Id been in love with him for years before that. When we met on that setup, I was so thrilled that we set a wedding date almost immediately. I kept telling myself that, given time, love would grow between us.

But now, I could see I was only fooling myself.

The front door clicked open.

Eric walked in, his brow furrowed with a familiar weariness when he saw I was still awake.

I wasnt looking at my phone, thats why I didnt reply to your messages.

Normally, I would have just shaken my head and said it was okay, that I understood how hard he worked.

But his comment on that video was posted just a few minutes ago. He was replying to people attacking his ex right before he walked through the door.

Meanwhile, our chat history was a sea of one-sided green bubbles. My messages, unanswered.

I looked up at his face, his expression as blank as always, and spoke softly.

You forgot to renew the subscription again. I had to sit through a 30-second ad just to watch my show.

He paused, a flicker of annoyance in his eyes. Cant you just pay for it yourself?

His voice was sharp. Im swamped with work. Do you really expect me to keep track of whether your streaming service is active?

A familiar wave of sadness washed over me, but this time, it was followed by a bitter, hollow smile.

The same excuse.

It was the reason he forgot our anniversary, the reason he missed meetings with our parents, the reason he had zero involvement in planning our wedding.

I used to be naive enough to believe he was genuinely that busy.

Now I knew the truth. He didnt have time for me because he didnt love me.

So this time, I didnt argue. I didnt fight. I just nodded calmly.

Fine.

Ill pay for the subscription myself. And you dont need to show up for the wedding.

Eric stared at me, stunned. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. What are you talking about?

Our eyes met. There was no panic in his gaze, only irritation.

The last shred of hope in my heart withered and died.

Before I could answer, he sneered. Youre breaking up with me because I forgot to pay for your streaming subscription?

Audrey, youre becoming more and more unreasonable.

He sighed, exasperated. Whatever.

He turned and strode into the bedroom, slamming the door so hard the walls shook.

I stood frozen for a long time, then wiped the cold tears from my face.

A moment later, I heard his voice from the balcony, his tone casual as he spoke on the phone.

Yeah, we had another fight.

Dont worry, Mom. The wedding is still on. Shell get over it in a couple of days. Its been the same for five years, hasnt it?

My hands clenched into fists, then relaxed. I picked up my phone, a self-mocking laugh escaping my lips.

I canceled the wedding.

Then, I booked a one-way ticket to California.

We slept in separate rooms that night.

It was the first time after a fight that I didnt grovel for forgiveness.

Eric seemed thrown off by it. The next morning, he looked at me with disbelief.

You didnt make me breakfast?

I nodded, my voice flat. I have to get to work, too. I dont have time to cook for two.

He stared at me for a moment, then let out a short, harsh laugh. Fine, Audrey. Have it your way. Keep playing these games.

He slammed the door on his way out, and a faint scent of cologne lingered in the air.

It was a scent I didnt recognize. In the five years wed been together, he had never once worn cologne.

He must have had an important date.

I forced down the lump in my throat and went to the office, where I submitted my transfer papers. The relocation to the head office would be effective in three days.

That evening, my colleagues insisted on a team dinner to celebrate my promotion.

Halfway through the meal, I got a text from Eric.

Working late tonight. Dont wait up.

I didnt reply.

I stepped out to use the restroom. As I was drying my hands, ready to head back, I heard a roar of laughter and cheers from the private room next to ours.

I cant believe were seeing Eric and Molly together again after five years! My ship is sailing again!

My feet stopped moving. I peered through the crack in the door, and the blood in my veins turned to ice.

Eric was sitting next to Molly, and they were both smiling. Genuinely smiling.

It was a look I had never once seen on his face when he was with me.

A soft, delicate female voice drifted out. Dont say that. Your girlfriend will get upset if she hears you.

Molly turned to Eric, her expression a perfect picture of innocent concern. Does your fiance know youre out with us tonight? Why didnt she come?

Before he could answer, one of his friends scoffed. Please. Dont call her that. If it wasnt for Erics mom insisting on this match, she wouldnt even be in the picture.

Molly, you know Eric has been waiting for you all these years.

Why do you think hes been working himself to the bone? To get out from under his moms thumb so he could finally marry you, of course! Hahaha!

I blinked hard, forcing back the sting in my eyes.

Eric just sat there, smiling, saying nothing. His silence was an admission.

I remembered all the times his coldness had made me want to give up. But then there was that one night, after hed been drinking, when he held me tight, his eyes red-rimmed, and swore to me.

The reason Im working so hard is to give you a better life.

Lost in thought, I didnt notice the door in front of me swing open.

Molly stood there, her face a mask of feigned surprise. A knowing smile played on her lips.

Oh, excuse me, maam? Are you with the waitstaff? We dont need anything in our room right now, thanks.

The room behind her went quiet for a beat, then erupted in jeering laughter.

Hahahaha, Molly, youre so cute! Thats Erics girlfriend.

Well, I mean, Mollys not wrong, is she? Audrey is basically the Reed familys servant.

They didnt even bother to hide their contempt anymore, their laughter dripping with malice. In their eyes, I was just some pathetic woman who had managed to snag Eric by sucking up to his mother.

My nails dug into my palms, the sharp pain the only thing keeping me from turning and running.

Molly gave a sheepish little laugh. Oh, Audrey, Im so sorry. Did you come here because you saw my video?

I frowned, confused.

She pulled out her phone, opened her profile, and showed me her latest post: a photo of her and Eric, smiling together.

I shook my head. I havent seen

Before I could finish, Molly tapped on the viral video from the night before, her eyes wide with faux innocence.

Last night, I set this video so that only you could see it, Audrey.

She tilted her head. And overnight, the view count went from a hundred thousand to a hundred and ten thousand.

Were you watching it all night? I hope it didnt keep you from getting any sleep!

For a moment, my mind went completely blank.

It felt like a giant hand was squeezing my throat, choking the words before they could form. A hot wave of shame washed over me as the laughter from the room grew louder. My feet felt like they were nailed to the floor.

Just then, Eric stood up and walked over. He playfully tapped Molly on the nose, a fond, exasperated smile on his face. Playing your little tricks again?

Molly laughed, carefree and triumphant. Its fun, isnt it?

She turned back to me. For five years, Ive posted so many videos that only he could see. And hes watched every single one hundreds of times.

She put on a concerned face. Oh, Audrey, please dont get the wrong idea. I only posted that video to reminisce a little. Eric and I are just good friends now

Before she could finish, Eric glanced at me and cut her off, his voice flat. Dont bother explaining. People with dirty minds see dirt everywhere. Shes throwing a fit over a single video.

I watched them, a perfectly rehearsed duo, my body rigid. From behind me, I heard a familiar voice.

Audrey? What are you doing here? One of my colleagues had come to find me. Hey, isnt that your boyfriend? Does he know youre about to

Lets go back, I said, cutting her off and turning away.

Molly hurried after us. We were just leaving, too! Lets go together!

She got to the front desk before we did and paid for our table. I tried to stop her, but she just turned and beamed at me.

Its okay! Im just using the supplementary card Eric gave me, hahaha!

My mind flashed back to the day Id playfully asked him to add me as an authorized user to his account.

Hed shaken his head, his face a blank mask. A supplementary card? Whats that? I dont know how to do it.

If you need money, Ill just transfer it to you.

At the time, I thought he was just a typical, clueless guy.

It turned out he knew exactly how to do it. Hed just already done it for someone else.

I nodded, said nothing, and walked out.

It was hard to get a cab on a cold winter night. One by one, my colleagues found rides and left, while I stared at the rideshare app on my phone.

100 drivers ahead of me.

Just then, a sleek, black Bentley pulled up to the curb.

Molly smiled and opened the passenger door, then paused dramatically. Oh, I almost forgot! Audrey, you first!

I looked at Eric, who refused to meet my eyes. My voice was barely a whisper. You told me your father died in a car crash. You said you were too traumatized to ever drive.

Molly looked from me to him, her expression one of theatrical disbelief. Eric, you really told her that?

I was completely lost. She explained with a long-suffering sigh.

Five years ago, when we were dating, I didnt want him giving rides to other girls, so I told him to make up that lie. Hahaha, that way everyone would think he didn't have a car and couldn't drive them.

She shook her head, as if in pity. I cant believe he never told you after five years together. His father died of natural causes. There was no car crash.

Eric looked away, a flicker of guilt on his face. I just forgot to tell you I had a car. I dont drive it much.

He cleared his throat. Molly lives on the south side, its out of the way. You should just get a cab home.

Molly gave me a quick, insincere sorry and hopped happily into the car.

The Bentley sped off, leaving me choking on a cloud of exhaust fumes.

As if on cue, the sky opened up. A cold, hard rain began to fall on the normally dry city. The restaurant staff locked the doors, leaving me with nowhere to shelter.

The cold seeped into my bones, and the pain became a dull, spreading numbness.

I stood there, drenched to the skin, for two hours before I finally got a ride home.

Eric wasnt back yet.

His mother, however, had been texting me nonstop, asking how the plans for the wedding in two days were coming along.

After a moment of hesitation, I told her the truth.

Minutes later, my phone rang. It was Eric, his voice seething with rage.

Audrey, are you insane?!

What the hell do you think youre doing, dragging my mother into your little tantrum?

Now she knows about Molly, and shes demanding I cut off all contact with her! She even called Molly and screamed at her!

Have you completely lost your mind?!