The Innocent Girl

The first time I fell in love, my best friend told me, If a guy's a player, just get a new one.
I took her advice to heart.
My first boyfriend wasn't exactly faithfulhe had this inseparable girl-bro always hanging around.
So I found another one.
My second boyfriend wasn't great eitherhe practically lived in bars, and his phone was a graveyard of pretty girls' numbers.
So I found another one.
The third was still hung up on his old flame, a girl he could never forget.
Just as I was about to start the hunt for number four, my best friend kicked down my door and screamed at me, her voice cracking with desperation.
"The whole point of 'get a new one' is that you DUMP the old one first!"
I just stared at her blankly. "Oh. Well, which one do you want? I can give you one."
1.
I'm a simple girl. Always have been.
Growing up, I did what my parents told me. Now that I'm older, I do what my best friend, Zoe, tells me. My life has been a straight line of studying and exams.
So, when I finally got into college, I decided it was time to spread my wings. Challenge myself.
Get a boyfriend.
I inherited my parents' good looks, so I wasn't exactly lacking in that department, but I had zero idea what to look for in a guy. For that, I consulted the expert: Zoe.
She was trying on a new dress in front of the mirror, casually imparting all her wisdom.
"Guys are like dogs, Thea. You're too nice to them, and they don't know what to do with it."
"The best way to handle them is to keep them on their toes. A little pushback, then a little affection."
"Oh, and don't ever try to change a guy. If he's a player, just replace him. Keep replacing them until you find one you like."
I sat on a small stool, dutifully taking notes and nodding thoughtfully.
I sort of got it, but maybe not completely.
If you're not satisfied, replace him. And so, just as I was getting ready to find my fourth replacement, my first one found me.
He cornered me, his voice tight with anger. "Thea! Who are those two guys? Why are they telling everyone you're their girlfriend?!"
2.
Liam was gorgeous. That was the first rule Zoe taught me.
"A guy has to be hot. If he's not, you'll lose your appetite just looking at him."
I took that to heart.
I met Liam at freshman orientation. He was a popular senior in my major, on stage sharing his experiences. I was sitting in the front row, and I was probably the only girl there actually listening to his speech instead of just drooling over him.
So, after the event, he came right up to me and asked for my number.
He started texting me constantly, checking in, walking me back to my dorm after class. On weekends, he'd take me shopping off-campus, to the movies, out to dinner. He'd bring me bubble tea and snacks when I was stressed from studying. He even bought me a ridiculously expensive necklace.
For the first eighteen years of my life, my world had been a placid pond. Liam was the first stone to ever make a ripple.
So when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes.
What I didn't expect was that after we got together, I'd discover he had a best girl friend who was practically attached to his hip.
On one of our dates, Liams "girl-bro" showed up uninvited. She slung an arm around his shoulder like they were buddies and winked at me.
"The girlfriend won't mind, right? Me and Liam go way back. We're totally platonic!"
Liam just sighed, but he was indulgent. "Thea's super understanding. She doesn't get hung up on stuff like this."
I just smiled, watching how close they were. I remembered Zoe telling me that some things were only for a boyfriend and girlfriend.
So were they a couple?
What did that make me?
The other woman?
For our one-month anniversary, Liam took me to an amusement park. We were having a great day, mostly because his girl-bro, Tanya, was nowhere in sight. But as dusk fell and we headed for the Ferris wheel, she popped up like a weed.
She had that same overly casual look on her face as she linked her arm through Liam's. "Liam! What a coincidence! You're here too?"
He smiled at her. "Tanya? What are you doing here? Did you come by yourself?"
"Yup!" she said, her voice tinged with something sour. "You know me, I can't stand hanging out with other girls. They're so much drama, and the guys were all busy today."
They stood there chatting as if I didn't exist, as if I were just a stranger passing by. Finally, Liam seemed to remember me, though there wasn't a hint of apology on his face.
"Thea, Tanya's here by herself. Why don't we let her join us?"
At that, Tanya finally looked at me, plastering a look of regret on her face. "Oh! The girlfriend! I didn't even see you there."
"You're not mad, are you?" Tanya let out a little hiss. "Liam and I are just friends. You really don't need to be so jealous about everything."
I hadn't even said a word, and she was already painting me as the crazy, jealous girlfriend.
I smiled sweetly and shook my head. "It's fine. I know you don't get along with other girls. The more the merrier."
Tanya's expression flickered, as if she could tell I was being passive-aggressive, but Liam, bless his heart, completely missed it. He just thought I was being sweet and understanding.
When we got to the Ferris wheel, each car only had room for two. Tanya, still clinging to Liam's arm, chattered away as they both climbed into a car together. Only after they were seated did they seem to remember I existed, casting apologetic looks my way.
"Sorry, girlfriend! We just got caught up talking," Tanya said, slapping her forehead. "Hey, how about you and Liam ride the next one together?"
Liam looked conflicted. "Don't be mad, Thea. I'll come find you right after."
I watched the Ferris wheel begin to rise, a quiet tsk escaping my lips.
This was so much trouble. I never thought my first relationship would die so quickly.
I realized I didn't like Liam that much anymore.
In my mind, Zoe's words played on a loop.
"Don't try to change a guy. If he's no good, just replace him."
So, I found a second one.
3.
After the amusement park disaster, I stopped seeing Liam.
Instead, I went with Zoe to a bar. I'd never been to one before, and the novelty of it all was exciting. It was there that I met my second boyfriend.
Finn.
He was beautiful, with a head of messy blond curls. When I saw him, he was on stage with a guitar, singing his heart out. The girls in the crowd were screaming for him, but Zoe was unimpressed.
She raised her glass with a smirk. "See that? That's the kind of guy you want. Hot, talented, the kind of guy who looks good on your arm."
I scribbled her words down in my notebook, completely missing what she said next.
"But a guy like that? Fun for a fling, maybe. But he's definitely a player."
So after the set, I intercepted Finn as he was leaving and asked for his number.
He studied me for a long moment before a slow smile spread across his face. "You look like a good girl. What are you doing in a place like this?"
He was pretty sharp, but Zoe said love was a strange and mysterious thing.
So what if I was a good girl?
Didn't good girls deserve love too?
After I got his number, I texted him every day. Good morning, good night. Reminders to wear a jacket when it was cold and drink water when it was hot. I wasn't so much a potential girlfriend as I was his personal assistant.
But for some reason, Finn seemed to love it. We somehow stumbled into a relationship.
After we got together, I spent almost all my free time with him. He seemed to have a lot of it, and he was incredibly generous, covering all my expenses and taking a strange delight in dragging me on shopping sprees.
But Finn also had a lot of friends. So many that there wasn't a single person in the bar who didn't know him. When he started taking me around to different clubs, I started getting some unfriendly looks.
"Well, well. Look who's in a relationship," a woman with fiery red hair said, a cigarette dangling from her fingers. She blew a cloud of smoke in my direction.
Finn just grinned and slung an arm around my shoulder. "What's wrong, Sasha? Jealous?"
Sasha rolled her eyes, but a smile played on her lips. "Get over yourself. If I got jealous over you, I'd have died of acid reflux by now." Her dismissive gaze raked over me, ending in a sneer. "Wow, a good girl. Since when did your taste change?"
"Guess you get tired of spicy and decide to try a salad," Finn shot back, turning to me. "Thea's great. She never gets jealous, right?"
Just like I did with Liam, I gave him a gentle, serene smile. "Of course. It makes me happy to see you have so many friends."
Sasha rolled her eyes again and shoved her phone in his face. "Two of my friends want your number. You gonna add them or what?"
Finn didn't move. He just looked at me. "What do you think? Should I?"
I had no idea what he wanted me to say. Zoe never covered this. When faced with a situation I didn't understand, I tended to give noncommittal answers.
So I blinked. "It's up to you. Whatever you want."
My expression was perfectly innocent, my tone completely neutral, but for some reason, Finn looked pissed.
His face went cold as he took out his phone, added the two contacts, and then shoved it back in his pocket.
Sasha's smirk deepened. She flicked her cigarette butt to the ground. "Huh. And here I thought you'd found the one. Guess not."
Finn didn't say anything. He just grabbed my hand, led me out of the bar, and dropped me off at my dorm.
I didn't understand what had just happened, so I went to consult Zoe again. She was lounging in a slinky dress, applying lipstick. After hearing my story, she burst out laughing.
"You idiot! Your boyfriend is a total player! I suggest you find a chance to check his phone."
"If he's trash, don't get emotional, don't cry about it. Just get out," Zoe said, pursing her lips. "Your time is precious. Don't waste it on guys like him."
She turned to me, her expression serious. "Thea, a guy can be bad, but he can't be trash."
"You remember what I told you, right?"
I nodded firmly. "I know. If a guy's no good, replace him."
"Exactly," Zoe said, relieved. "And remember, no getting all mushy and losing your head. If there's a problem, you replace him!"
She had more faith in me than anyone. I barely knew what I was looking for in a boyfriend, and she was already worried I was going to turn into a hopeless romantic.
How wonderful.
So, the next time Finn asked me to go to a bar with him, I kept Zoe's words in mind.
It was easy to get Finn to drink, especially when pretty girls were constantly coming over to buy him shots and ask for his number. When he was sufficiently drunk and laughing with a girl from the next table, I managed to swipe his phone.
His passcode was easy to guess. I might be clueless about love, but I was top of my class for a reason.
I opened his texts and scrolled for five minutes before quietly putting the phone back.
My eyes were burning.
The disgusting messages, the photos from countless girls I couldn't even find the end of it. He was texting this many people every day.
I finally understood what Zoe meant.
If he's trash, don't get emotional. Just get out.
As we were leaving the bar, I tugged on his sleeve. He stopped, looking down at me with a lazy smile. "What's up? That was all for show back there, don't worry about it."
I nodded, then said seriously, "Finn, I don't think we should hang out anymore."
My words seemed to sober him up instantly. He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean? Because I added those girls? Or because I was drinking with someone else?"
I shook my head, not wanting to argue. "I don't like it. From now on, let's just do our own thing."
I didn't even like bars that much anyway. Doing my own thing sounded better.
Finn let out a harsh, angry laugh. "What are you talking about, Thea? You met me in a bar!"
"We're all just here to have fun. Why are you acting so high and mighty?"
Oh, god. Zoe was so right. Trashy guys really were persistent.
"Whatever you say."
With that, I flagged down a taxi and got in, leaving him standing on the sidewalk.
My second relationship was over.
I let out a long, disappointed sigh. Where was I going to find a third?
4.
I don't know if you'd call it good luck or not.
The senior girls hosted a mixer, and I decided to go. It was at a karaoke bar, with a dozen or so people singing and having fun. I sat clutching my soda, scanning the men in the room, searching for someone who met Zoe's criteria.
Finally, my eyes landed on a guy at the front, holding a microphone.
He was tall and handsome with a great voice. I remembered him. On the way over, some girls had been talking about him. Joseph. He was a big deal on campus, one of those legendary figures.
But he was also known for being cold and aloof. No friends to speak of, and definitely no girl-bros.
Learning from my first two mistakes, I decided to be proactive and make my move. Compared to the others, he seemed like a safe bet. At least the same problems wouldn't happen again.
So for the rest of the night, I shadowed his every move.
When he sang, I stared. When he went to the bathroom, I followed. When he stepped outside for some air, I watched him.
Maybe my gaze was a little too intense, because Joseph finally cornered me outside the karaoke room.
He stared at me, his expression unreadable. "You keep following me. Is there something you want?"
I gave him a huge grin. "You're really good-looking. Can I get your number?"
He chuckled softly. "There are a lot of good-looking people in the world. Why don't you go ask all of them?"
He had a point. But I'd already tried two others, and the emotional return on investment was terrible. So I voiced my primary concerns.
"Do you have a girl-bro?"
Joseph looked baffled and shook his head. "No."
One point for Joseph.
My smile widened. "Do you like to go to bars? Swap numbers with strangers?"
"No," he said, looking even more confused. "What is this?"
I beamed, showing all my teeth as I held up my phone. "Then you're the one I'm looking for!"
He actually laughed at that. He was smarter than the others. "What happened? Did your last boyfriend break your heart?"
"Something like that," I mumbled, successfully getting his number.
What did he mean, last boyfriend? Was there a limit? I'd have to ask Zoe about this.
Joseph and I clicked instantly. We liked the same movies, the same books. We both loved musicals, drinking tea, and eating at cheap hotpot places.
He was also incredibly patient and insisted on paying for everything. He'd buy a purse I glanced at for a second too long, take me to workshops where we made our own rings, and take endless photos of me.
We were so compatible that I was full of confidence about this new relationship. We fell into it easily and comfortably. After our tenth hotpot dinner, we were walking back to campus when he suddenly took my hand.
"So, should we make this official?"
I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by "official," but I had a good feeling about Joseph.
There was just one thing. Every weekend, on Sunday, he would vanish. I couldn't reach him. He wouldn't reply to any of my texts. I was curious, but having no experience in these matters, I swallowed my pride and went to Zoe for advice again.
She was lying on a recliner with a face mask on, and she gave me a strange look. "Are you sure you're his only girlfriend?"
"This sounds weird. Who just disappears for a whole day every week?"
Her words sparked my curiosity. "Yeah, what do you think it is?"
"Maybe he has a second girlfriend," Zoe snorted. "Congrats, Thea. You found a special edition."
I sighed, slumping onto my little stool. "So what do I do this time? Check his phone again?"
Zoe shot up from her chair so fast her face mask went flying.

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