My Bad Luck Is On The Payroll

Preston Reed hired me specifically for my bad juju.
He calls it a statistical anomaly, but lets call it what it is: Im a cooler. A walking entropy machine. Every company I clock into faces a catastrophic meltdown within three days. Preston, being the cutthroat CEO of Reed Enterprises, thought it would be brilliant to weaponize me. He pays me an exorbitant salary to act as a corporate saboteur, infiltrating his competitors and watching them burn.
It was a perfect arrangement until the new Head of HR stormed in on my first day at his subsidiary, slapping a timesheet onto my desk.
"You show up for three days a month and have the audacity to pull a hundred and eighty grand a year?" Her voice was a shrill drill against my temples. "Who signed off on this?"
I didn't look up from my empty desk. "Your brother. The CEO."
That was the wrong thing to say.
Her perfectly manicured acrylicslong, sharp, and painted a blood-orange redjabbed the air inches from my nose. "Oh, I see. You think you can sleep your way into the payroll? You think you can seduce my brother?"
A nervous executive next to her tried to intervene, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Ms. Reed, please. This is Lexi Reed, the heiress to the Reed empire. Shes... shes here to experience the grassroots level."
Lexi shot me a look of pure, unadulterated disgust. It was the look old money gives new money, or in this case, the look a princess gives the help.
"I don't care who you're screwing," she hissed. "I won't tolerate ghosts on the payroll. From tomorrow on, you are coming into this office every single day. And if you want to step outside for so much as a breath of fresh air, I expect a written request on my desk. Single-spaced."
She leaned in, her perfume cloying and expensive. "Im here to crush parasites like you."
I shrugged, leaning back in my chair. "If you insist. I guess Ill just have to set down roots here at Reed Enterprises."
My curse is undefeated. Preston doesn't even let me linger in the lobby for more than an hour for fear of the stock price dipping. If his little sister wants to play chicken with fate, thats on her.
If she doesn't want her family to remain the wealthiest in the city, who am I to stop her?
1
In the past, Preston would practically shove me out the door the second my "shift" was done. But now, with Lexis decree, I had permission to stay.
Still, out of a shred of humanitarian duty, I tried to call Preston. I barely got the phone to my ear before it was snatched away.
Lexi looked at the screen, her eyes widening in theatrical horror. "You little homewrecker! Calling him right in front of me?"
She sneered, looking me up and down. "Look at you. Youre bargain bin. You really think you have a shot at the CEO of Reed Enterprises?"
I frowned. The sheer vulgarity was exhausting. It was ironic, really. Preston Reed started as a working-class kid with an eight-person startup. He only became the citys richest man because my "bad luck" dismantled his competition one by one.
When I didn't respond, Lexi scoffed and smashed my phone onto the linoleum floor. The screen shattered with a satisfying crunch.
"Know your place," she spat. "This is a place of business, not a brothel for you to find a sugar daddy."
I took a deep breath, trying to channel some inner zen. "Get Preston on the line. He signed my contract. Tell him I quit."
The Director of Operations, a sycophant who had parachuted in with Lexi, stepped forward. "You don't get to use the CEO's first name. Mr. Reed is in Europe on business. While hes gone, Ms. Reed is the acting authority."
Lexi inspected her nails, looking bored. "I took this HR role to clean house. Even if you want to quit, policy states you need to give fifteen days' notice. I suggest you keep your head down, or Ill make sure you never work in this town again."
Watching her walk away, I felt a strange, cold sense of satisfaction.
I only agreed to this job because Preston begged. Lexi thinks Im a leech; she has no idea that the only reason I don't work more is that the companies literally cease to exist after seventy-two hours.
She wants to trap me here? Fine. Fifteen days? I won't need three.
I packed my things from the competitors officewhich was already showing signs of structural failureand officially set up shop at Reeds subsidiary.
As I changed into the stiff company uniform, Kevin, a junior associate, whispered to me, looking terrified. "Nova, hey... management said I can't give you a keycard. You can't leave the building without Lexi's personal approval."
I almost laughed. Ive never seen someone sprint toward their own funeral with such enthusiasm.
"It's fine, Kevin," I said.
I sat at my desk and did absolutely nothing for four hours. When lunch rolled around, I stood up. A hand shoved me back down.
"Did I say you could eat?" Lexi loomed over me. "Is your work done?"
"I don't have any work," I said calmly.
"That's because you're a slacker," she countered, her eyes scanning my outfit with disdain. "That skirt is obscene. Is that how you get by? Flashing skin? You don't leave this desk until you earn your keep."
My team lead, a nervous woman named Sarah, tried to intervene. "Ms. Reed, Nova is... shes a special hire. There are superstitions..."
Lexi shrieked. "Superstitions? Is that the best lie you people can come up with to cover for her laziness?"
The other employees looked down, trembling. They knew the rumors. They knew what I was.
"Im not buying it," Lexi snarled, her eyes flashing with malice. She lunged toward me, hand raised todo what? Poke me? Slap me?
She took two steps, and her heel caught on the slick floor.
Snap.
"Ah!"
She went down hard, flailing, knocking over the janitors bucket. Grey, soapy water splashed over her designer blowout. As she hit the floor, the vibration caused a stack of heavy binders to slide off the adjacent desk, burying her under a pile of quarterly reports.
The office went silent. Then, a few stifled giggles broke the tension.
Lexi screamed, a sound like tearing metal. "Shut up! Shut up, all of you!"
She scrambled up, dripping wet, mascara running down her cheeks. She pointed a shaking finger at me. "You think this is funny? From now on, youre the janitor. You want to leave? You scrub this office until it shines. If I see a speck of dust, Im docking your pay."
I looked at this woman, this embodiment of hubris. "You're blaming me for gravity now?"
The Director stepped in, puffed up like a toad. "Ms. Reed is the legal representative of this subsidiary now. Her word is law."
The staff exchanged glances but said nothing.
I turned to leave, but Lexis bodyguardstwo mountains of muscle in cheap suitsgrabbed my shoulders and forced me to my knees.
"Attitude problem," Lexi sneered, throwing a filthy rag into my face. "Scrub. Inch by inch. On your knees."
I gritted my teeth, staring up at her. "You really don't want to do this. You can't handle the fallout."
"A stray like you threatening me?" She laughed. Then, she stepped forward and ground her stiletto heel into the back of my hand.
I cried out. The pain was sharp and white-hot.
"Stop playing the mystic," she whispered, leaning down. "If you don't learn your place, today is just the appetizer."
Satisfied with my gasp of pain, she strutted off to change.
My colleagues rushed over to help me up.
"Is she insane?" Kevin whispered. "Does she not know whowhatyou are?"
"She doesn't believe in karma," I said, rubbing my bruising hand. "But she's about to get a crash course."
**
By afternoon, my hand was throbbing. Lexi dumped a mountain of unfiled paperwork on my desk.
I was sorting through it when someone screamed.
"Fire!"
I looked up. Smoke was billowing from under the door of Lexis private office. Orange light flickered against the frosted glass.
The smoke detectors remained silent. Malfunction. Naturally.
Kevin grabbed a fire extinguisher and rushed the door. He squeezed the handle. Nothing.
"Its jammed!" he yelled, panic rising in his voice. "Everyone out! Run!"
The office turned into a stampede. We spilled out onto the sidewalk, coughing in the afternoon sun. A few minutes later, Lexi stumbled out, her face covered in soot, coughing violently.
The staff looked at me with renewed terror. "Its starting," someone whispered. "We have to get her out of here."
Lexi wiped the soot from her eyes and zeroed in on me. A manic grin spread across her face.
"It is her fault," she announced. "But not because of some voodoo." She pointed an accusatory finger. "I saw you go into my office earlier. Youre an arsonist."
I blinked. "Excuse me?"
The Director, ever the opportunist, chimed in. "I saw it too! Nova went in there when no one was looking. I felt suspicious, so I... I recorded it."
He whipped out his phone. The video showed me pacing outside her office, then entering.
The crowd gasped.
"Im recovering the internal surveillance footage now," Lexi said, her voice dripping with venom. "Once I have proof, Im sending you to prison."
"Go ahead," I said. "Knock yourself out."
"You arrogant little..." She trailed off, shaking with rage.
An hour later, the IT guy emerged with the recovered footage. The staff huddled around the laptop.
The video was clear. I walked in, placed a file on the desk, and walked out.
Ten minutes later, the sun shifted. A heavy crystal paperweightone of Lexis gaudy decorationscaught the beam. It acted as a magnifying glass, focusing the intense heat onto a stack of loose papers.
Physics. Not arson.
"Well," I said, raising an eyebrow. "Is that the evidence sending me to jail?"
Lexis face turned a violent shade of purple. She stormed off without a word.
But she wasn't done. Minutes later, a dolly was wheeled to my temporary desk in the parking lot. Thousands of pages were dumped onto the asphalt.
"Since paper is a fire hazard," she said, her voice tight, "youre going to digitize the archives. All of them."
"All of them?"
"Horizon Capital is coming tomorrow at 10 AM for the merger talks," she said, leaning in close. "I want these scanned and indexed before they arrive. I told you, I have ways of dealing with you."
She wanted me to stay? Fine. I stayed.
I pulled an all-nighter, scanning document after document while the building smoldered behind me. I finished just as the sun came up.
**
The next morning, Mr. Blackwood from Horizon Capital arrived. He was the biggest fish in the pond. Reed Enterprises was big locally, but Horizon was national.
Lexi had cleaned up. She was charming, deferential, the perfect heiress.
The deal was going smoothly. They shook hands on the preliminary terms.
"We have a new line of products," Lexi offered, beaming. "Let me show you the promotional video."
Mr. Blackwood nodded, intrigued.
Lexi clicked the file.
But her hand twitched. Or maybe the mouse lagged.
Instead of the promo video, she opened the master spreadsheet labeled INTERNAL COST_REAL.
The screen filled with rows of data exposing the massive markup and cut corners on materials. The room went quiet. Panic flashed in Lexis eyes. She scrambled to close it, her fingers hitting keys blindly.
She hit the spacebar.
It triggered the media player. Specifically, a voice note from her WeChat desktop app.
Her own voice, amplified by the conference rooms surround sound, filled the air.
"Babe, you won't believe this. I have to babysit this old dinosaur from Horizon tomorrow. Ugh, hes apparently some fifty-year-old bald greaseball. I swear, if I have to look at his shiny head for more than five minutes, Im going to vomit my lunch."
Silence. Absolute, suffocating silence.
Mr. Blackwood slowly raised a hand to his very bald, very shiny head. His face turned the color of a bruised plum.
"I was supposed to fly to D.C. this afternoon," he said, his voice deadly quiet. "Canceling that to come here was clearly a mistake."
He stood up. "It was a struggle for you to deal with this 'greaseball,' wasn't it? Don't worry. Horizon Capital will never do business with Reed Enterprises again. I wouldn't want to make you sick."
He walked out.
Lexi stood frozen, sweat beading on her forehead. Losing Horizon wasn't just a lost deal; it was a blacklist.
She whirled on me, screaming like a banshee. "You! You sent me that file! If you hadn't sent it, I wouldn't have clicked it! If we lose this account, I will ruin you!"
I looked at her, feeling absolutely nothing. "You clicked it, Lexi. You recorded the voice note."
The next morning, Lexi boarded a flight to D.C., desperate to intercept Mr. Blackwood and beg for forgiveness.
At lunch, the cafeteria was buzzing.
"This is the end," Kevin murmured over his salad. "Lexi poked the bear. We should all be updating our resumes."
The Director slammed his hand on the table. "Shut your mouths! When Ms. Reed gets back, youll all be fired for insubordination!"
"Director..." Kevins voice trembled. He held up his phone.
The news anchors voice drifted from the speaker, grave and professional. "Breaking news. Flight AU7 from A-City to Washington D.C. has crashed. Rescue teams are on the way..."
The blood drained from the Directors face. "Thats... thats her flight."
The cafeteria erupted into chaos. I kept eating my sandwich.
Suddenly, a tray was slapped off the table. Soup dripped down my hair.
I looked up. Lexi. She looked like a wreckdisheveled, wild-eyed. She hadnt been on the plane.
"Disappointed?" she screamed. "You wanted me dead, didn't you?"
"Ms. Reed... the news said..." The Director stammered.
"I missed the flight!" she shrieked. "Because of traffic! And why was there traffic? Because of her!"
She grabbed a metal tray and hurled it at my head. I ducked, and it clattered against the wall.
"Youre a spy! A saboteur! Youre trying to kill me!"
Her bodyguards pinned me to the ground again. Lexi kicked me in the ribs, then grabbed a handful of my hair, yanking my head back.
Slap. Slap.
"You think youre special?" she screamed, her face inches from mine. "Youre nothing. Im going to make an example of you."
My cheek stung, but my anger was a cold, hard knot in my stomach. "Have you ever asked yourself why your family is rich, Lexi? Really asked?"
"Shut up!"
"Let me go," I said quietly. "Or the consequences won't be something money can fix."
"Consequences are for poor people," she laughed, a manic, terrifying sound. "I can buy my way out of hell if I have to."
She signaled the bodyguard. "Hit her."
The fist came down hard into my stomach. I doubled over, gasping for air.
Before the second blow could land, a door burst open.
"Nova?"
I cracked an eye open. Preston Reed stood there, looking like hed seen a ghost.
"What is she doing here?" Preston shouted, his voice cracking. "Lexi! Do you know what youve done?"
Lexi smirked. "Cleaning up your mess, brother. Shes just a gold digger. Im teaching her a lesson."
Preston went pale. "How long has she been here?"
"As long as I have! I kept her here to fix the culture!"
Preston looked at the employees, then at the TV mounted on the wall behind us.
The news anchor was back. "Emergency update. A massive recall has been issued for Reed Foods after reports of botulism. 193 hospitalized. Police are investigating..."
Before anyone could process that, the front doors exploded inward.
"Police! Nobody move!"
A squad of officers swarmed the room. The lead detective held up a badge.
"We have a warrant for the executives of Reed Enterprises regarding the sale of toxic food products. Who is in charge here?"

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