Her Buried Past

The memorial service my best friend arranged was utterly destroyed.
Trolls swarmed the funeral home, livestreaming with their phones.
Serves her right, they chanted.
The comment section flooded with messages: Is she really dead this time?
My ex-husband and his lover celebrated on a yacht for a week straight, champagne in hand.
It seemed everyone believed I deserved to die early.
Until one day, my diary was made public.
And everyone finally learned the truth.
That in my entire life, I had only been happy for a single, fleeting moment.

1.
On the talk show, the host suddenly veered off-topic.
Rick, Mr. Brown. Your ex-wife recently passed away from an illness. How did that make you feel?
Rick Brown, the A-list actor, just scoffed. I felt nothing. I heard her memorial service was trashed. Good.
The host smiled, lowering his gaze. You dont mind if we talk about your ex-wife, do you? After all, her death is a very hot topic right now.
If he were trying to capitalize on anyone elses death, the backlash would have been merciless.
But it was my death.
And no one online cared.
Ask whatever you want, Rick said.
Im curious, the host began. Everyone says Zara Hale was a terrible person. So why did you two get married in the first place?
The superstar fell silent.
He probably couldnt remember why himself.
The host chuckled. Well, as it happens, we have a copy of Ms. Hales diary right here. You wouldnt mind if we shared it with everyone, would you?
Rick smirked. A high school dropout? Did she even know how to write? Go ahead. I couldnt care less.
But when the slightly worn diary was opened for the cameras, a hush fell over the studio.
The handwriting was neat and elegant, not at all what youd expect from the madwoman the media had painted me as.
Well then, the host said with a smile, allow me to read.

2.
October 3rd, 2020
Im getting married today!
And whos the groom?
My Rick, of course.
Who else would I ever want to marry?
And who else would he ever dare to marry?
If he tried, Id tear him limb from limb.
Weve been together for six years.
Today, I finally married the boy I fell in love with when I was eighteen.
Oh, Diary, you should have seen how nervous Rick was when he put the ring on my finger.
The tips of his ears turned bright red, and his eyes weltered up immediately.
Its true what they say a mans tears can make a womans heart soar.
Seriously, I couldnt stop smiling.
But, Diary, Im not afraid to tell you the truth.
Later, when Rick was drunk and collapsed into my arms, I was the one who cried even harder.
He whispered in my ear, Zara, I love you. I love you so, so much.
Thank you for being my wife.
Honestly, Im the one who should be thanking him.
Because of him, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere.
At the wedding, Ricks mom gave me a hug.
As she held me, my nose started to sting.
It was the first time an elder had ever hugged me.
So, this is what a mothers love feels like.
Growing up in an orphanage, I never knew what a hug was.
For us orphans, it didnt matter how good you were; no one was going to hug you.
When we cried, we just lay on the mats on the floor until we stopped.
At school, our teachers always said we were such well-behaved kids.
The truth is, we learned early on that crying got you nothing.
And just being quiet never earned you a hug.
So, we learned to hide what we felt.
It wasnt until I met Rick that I learned I could just be myself.
And he would still love me.
Now, Rick and I finally have a home.
Were broke, sure.
But things will get better.
I told him, This is the happiest moment of my life.
He held me tight, his voice thick with emotion. What do you mean, the happiest? From now on, every day will be happy.
Getting married is the best.
I have someone to share my life with. I have a family.
Im not alone anymore.
P.S. Heres a wedding photo.
Its small, only a 5x7.
Im wearing a twenty-dollar tulle skirt I bought on Amazon, and Ricks in the only decent suit he owns.
Our clothes are simple, but our smiles are the brightest youve ever seen.
Rick promised me.
When he makes it big.
Hell take me to the beaches of Bali for a proper wedding photoshoot.
The host finished reading and took a deep breath.
No one had expected that I, the venomous villain, could have shared memories like these with Rick.
The words on the page were playful, sweet.
Anyone could see how happy I was back then.
Theres nothing more devastating than a love thats expired.
Rick stared, stunned, for a long moment. Those memories had been buried for so long.
Back then, marrying me had felt like the greatest victory of his life.
He had forgotten all of it.
The viewers were confused, too. This was nothing like the vicious Zara Hale they knew.
Reading this, she just sounds like a normal girl in love.
Its gotta be fake. That handwriting doesnt look like hers.
So she was an orphan. No wonder she had no class.
The host turned to Rick. Mr. Brown, it sounds like you two were very happy when you got married.
Rick seemed to snap out of his trance, a bitter, self-mocking smile twisting his lips.
She used to be a good person, yes. But you can never truly know whats in someones heart.
The host smiled thinly. Perhaps. Lets move on to the second page, shall we?
Honestly, Im quite curious myself to see what happened to turn Ms. Hale into the monster everyone despises.

3.
January 6th, 2021
Sorry for ignoring you, Diary. Ive been busy working as an extra.
But I need to ramble today.
How do people make a lot of money?
What if I started spending ten dollars a day on a lottery ticket?
A meal on set costs ten dollars. If I skip dinner, I can save that much.
What if I actually won?
I know I shouldnt be fantasizing about winning the lottery, Diary.
But Im just so broke.
I cant ask Rick for money, though. Hes already under so much pressure.
Hes filming late into the night, every night.
And during the day, he takes on freelance editing jobs to make extra cash.
Hes so exhausted, but he always pretends to be fine, telling me, Dont worry, baby, Im not tired.
It breaks my heart.
Ill figure something out on my own.
Attached photo:
Ricks perfect sleeping face.
Something to look at when the days feel hopeless~
The host paused. Mr. Brown, I have to ask. Did you know Zara was so desperate for money at this time?
Rick shook his head. I was her husband. If she needed money and didnt tell me, it must have been for something shameful.
Then again, he added with a sneer, its no surprise, considering all the disgusting things she did later.
Shed do anything for money. Its pathetic.
The host sighed and continued reading.

4.
January 10th, 2021
Diary.
My best friend is dead.
We spent more than a decade together in the orphanage.
And now shes gone.
All because we couldnt scrape together five thousand dollars.
I told her Id find a way.
I told her to just hold on.
I would have delivered food, done anything to get the money for her treatment.
But while I was on set, she pulled out her own oxygen tube.
She left me a voice recording.
Zara, she said, we were abandoned as kids. Most of us arent very healthy. Im just happy I made it to 25.
Dont be sad for me. Maybe in heaven, Ill finally get to meet the parents who threw me away.
Ive got a bone to pick with them.
You and Rick need to be happy together.
And hey, remember to get regular check-ups. People like us cant afford to get sick.
I cried until I couldnt breathe.
We were so close. If she had just waited a little longer, maybe I could have earned it.
Diary.
Why is life so unfair?
Today on set, I heard the producers gave the lead actress several handbags that were each worth over five thousand dollars.
A single handbag could have saved my friends life.
Writing this reminds me of something.
When I was little, I had another friend at the orphanage.
Her name was beautiful, Maeve.
She had a round face, and when she smiled, her eyes curved into beautiful crescent moons.
Compared to the rest of us, she just radiated life.
She was so bright that when she was eight, a wealthy family adopted her.
I was so happy for her when we said goodbye.
But a year later, she came back.
She was so much thinner.
And she never smiled anymore.
Worst of all, she couldnt speak.
She wrote on a piece of paper and told me what had happened. She had been subjected to unspeakable abuse for a year.
Her adoptive parents were afraid she would tell someone.
So they cut out her tongue.
I ran to the director of the orphanage, trying to get help, but he beat me half to death.
He had taken money from that family to keep quiet.
Maeve she killed herself not long after that.
And now my other friend is gone, too.
There arent many of us left from the orphanage.
Diary, I want so badly to tell Rick all of this.
But when I look into his tired, smiling eyes
I just cant. Ill wait until things get better.
I dont want to be another burden for him.
Goodnight, Diary.
I hope I wake up to news about my audition.
The hosts voice trembled as he read.
Online comments flooded in.
So she needed the money for her friend.
Forget that, what the hell kind of orphanage is that? Someone needs to investigate.
This feels like a PR stunt to make her look good. But you can tell she was just a jealous person, getting angry over a five-thousand-dollar bag.
The host sighed and looked at Rick. Mr. Brown, did you know your wife needed five thousand dollars?
You were both 25 by then. Did you really not have that much in savings?
Ricks pupils constricted. His mouth moved, but no sound came out at first.
That year we had saved ten thousand dollars together. I had promised her Id buy her a gold bracelet
But at the end of the year, my mom got really sick.
It took every penny we had
After that she never mentioned the bracelet again, and I never bought it.
Ricks voice grew quieter as he lowered his eyes.
The comment section exploded.
So youre telling me Zara gave all her savings for her mother-in-laws treatment, and then had nothing left for herself?
What are you talking about? When youre married, youre family.
If shed had that gold bracelet, maybe she could have sold it and saved her friend.
The truth is, Rick didnt tell the whole story.
His mother had insurance, which covered most of the medical bills.
When the reimbursement check came, I didnt see a cent of it.
When my friend got sick, I gathered my courage and asked my mother-in-law for help.
I offered to borrow the money, but she just ridiculed me.
Marrying you was the greatest charity we could offer.
And you have the audacity to ask me for money?
Youre an orphan. You have no one to stand up for you.
I stood there, frozen.
My ears were ringing.
The woman who, at my wedding, had promised to treat me like her own daughter, was now looking at me with pure contempt.
We never had a real wedding, just a small gathering of friends and family.
I didnt get any jewelry, no dowry.
And in the end, I didnt even get respect.
I learned later.
Once a wife moves in, everyones true colors come out.
Especially a wife with no one in her corner.
The pain that never made it into my diary was far greater than anything Rick knew.

5.
The host gave a bitter smile, tinged with sarcasm.
So, the reason Zara had no money was because she gave it all to pay for your mothers medical bills, correct?
The question was sharp.
The online comments devolved into a screaming match. Some people were starting to realize something was wrong.
The feed was scrolling too fast to read.
Ricks face stiffened. He unconsciously tugged at his tie.
Thats right. And if she hadnt if she hadnt done all those disgusting things later, I would have paid her back, of course.
His voice grew louder, more self-righteous with each word.
The host just smiled.
Is that so?
Then Ill keep reading.
Lets see how Zara changed.
6.
May 20th, 2021
Diary!
I have great news.
I passed my audition!
I got the role of the fourth female lead in the big-budget production, Veil of Smoke!
Its my first time in a major production!
But when I went to share the happy news with Rick
I found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his face clouded with worry.
When he saw me, his expression turned guilty.
Zara we were supposed to make a down payment on a house next month. I dont think we can anymore.
I failed another audition. They wouldnt even take me for a supporting role.
I think I think Ill have to go back to being an extra.
His eyes were red, filled with uncertainty about the future.
In that moment, I remembered four years ago.
When we first broke into the industry.
His eyes were full of stars, burning with passion for what was to come.
Now, failure was extinguishing that fire.
My heart ached for him. I wrapped my arms around him and told him everything would be okay.
The news about my own successful audition stayed locked inside me.
Maybe the house we wanted wasnt that great anyway.
Maybe my role wasnt as good as I thought.
Maybe something better was just around the corner.
I never doubted my Rick.
Hes so talented.
Sooner or later, hell be the brightest star of them all.
As the host read this entry, the screen filled with question marks.
Ricks expression froze.
Because everyone knew.
The actress who became a star playing the fourth female lead in Veil of Smoke wasnt me.
There had been rumors that I was originally cast, but everyone had laughed them off, assuming it was just a story I had paid to have planted in the tabloids.
No one had ever imagined.
I had been so close to making it.

7.
May 25th, 2021
Veil of Smoke is about to start filming, but the actor cast as the fourth male lead was just exposed in a scandal.
A lightbulb went off in my head.
My Rick.
Maybe this was his chance.
I stayed up all night putting together a reel of his best performances, and first thing in the morning, I sent it to the director.
Diary, you have no idea how nervous I was.
The moment I hit send, my whole body was shaking.
That same day, Rick got a call for an audition.
But after he finished
The director pulled me aside.
He looked uncomfortable.
Zara, were very impressed with Rick, the actor you recommended.
But you and Rick are with the same agency. And as you know, for a hit show like this, the number of slots per agency is strictly limited.
Your agency only gets one actor in this show.
He looked at me, his gaze heavy.
To be honest, the reason Im asking you is because I think youre the more talented one.
Diary.
What was the director even talking about?
Was this even a choice?
Of course I gave the role to Rick.
Im talented.
Ill get another chance.
But my Rick he needed this confidence boost more than I did.
When Rick found out he got the part, he picked me up and spun me around and around.
My Rick was back.
When hes happy, Im happy.
Hearing this, Ricks eyes widened in disbelief.
Thats impossible my role how could it
The internet went into a meltdown.
HOLY S**T, RICKS CAREER TOOK OFF BECAUSE OF VEIL OF SMOKE.
Wait, so the key point is, Ricks big break only happened because Zara gave up her spot for him?
This has to be fake. Im going to go dig up the old gossip threads right now.
The host looked at Rick.
Mr. Brown, is there anything youd like to say now?
Ricks throat worked, but it was a long moment before he could speak.
She she really was a good person back then. But
He didnt finish the sentence.
But I knew what he wanted to say.
He wanted to say:
But what happened to you? How did you change?

8.
June 13th, 2022
Diary.
Am I being too sensitive?
Veil of Smoke was a massive hit. Rick became a star overnight playing the fourth male lead.
His character in the show was just so perfect.
His tragic, unrequited love for the fourth female lead made countless viewers cry their eyes out.
A lot of people started shipping them in real life.
Ill admit, even I shipped them when I was watching.
But seeing Rick and Delilah working so hard to sell their fake relationship
I still got a little jealous.
Oh, well.
Im a generous person.
Im not going to get mad.
After all, if Rick is famous
Im even happier.
Oh, and Diary!
Im auditioning for the second female lead in a small web series tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Attached news clipping:
Hmph. Rick is smiling so sweetly at Delilah in this picture.
If he doesnt smile at me that sweetly from now on, hes going to get an earful.

9.
June 14th, 2022
Diary!
Today was an amazing day!
I passed my audition!
Im the second female lead in Dreams Darkest Shore!
The second lead!
I have so many scenes!
I was going to tell Rick the Cabbage first.
But hes been secretly having dinner with Delilah behind my back.
Attached photo: Paparazzi shot of the two of them.
One looking shy, the others ears bright red.
They look so perfect together!
Hmph.
A man who doesnt respect himself
Is like a rotten cabbage.
Im not going to be the one to tell Rick the Cabbage my good news.
He can see it for himself when the studio makes the official announcement.
Although
If he explains himself today
Maybe Ill tell him.
Fine, Ill give him three days.
After the host finished, the tide of public opinion began to turn.
Okay, does anyone else find this really cute?
Am I the only one who finds this heartbreaking? They were so sweet back then. How did it end with them never speaking again?
Shes faking it.
Rick stared at the screen, lost in a daze.
He had never realized.
Back then, I had really, truly loved him so much.

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