My Roommate, the Nitpicker

My roommate, Serena, was the kind of person whod chase a question to the ends of the earth. She couldn't let anything go.
One night, dead asleep, I was jolted awake by her voice right next to my bed. Lucy? You asleep? I cracked open my eyes, annoyed. Her response? See? You weren't asleep at all. Otherwise, how could you answer me?
When she skipped class, I did her a favor and checked her in on the attendance app. But just before the lecture ended, she burst into the room, phone in hand, and confronted the professor. "Professor, I wasn't even here today. Why does the system say I'm checked in? Is there something wrong with your app?"
The professor investigated, it traced back to me, and I failed the class. I had to retake it.
Later, I entered a public speaking competition. In the middle of my speech, Serena stood up in front of everyone and asked why my material was exactly the same as an idea shed had.
My spot in the competition was revoked, I lost the prize money, and I was branded a plagiarist. Unable to handle the humiliation, I climbed to the roof of the tallest building on campus one night.
When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day Serena asked me if I was asleep.

1
"Lucy, are you asleep?"
Hearing Serenas incredibly punchable voice, I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake. My hand fumbled around my pillow until it found my phone.
I flipped it on, saw the date, and it hit me. I was reborn.
Outside my bed curtain, Serena wasn't giving up. She kept calling my name.
I quickly turned off my phone, jammed my earbuds in, and squeezed my eyes shut.
Sure enough, when I didn't answer, she yanked my curtain open. Even though it was past one in the morning, our other roommate was still gaming, and the glow from her computer screen spilled onto my face, punctuated by the frantic clicking of a keyboard.
With the curtain open, Serena pressed on. "Lucy. Lucy, are you asleep?"
Her voice got louder, loud enough to wake the dead, but I kept my eyes clamped shut. I refused to open them.
I knew I couldn't. Waking up would be giving her exactly what she wanted.
In my last life, Serena loved pulling these little obedience tests on me. If I had opened my eyes and asked what she wanted, she wouldve just said, "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see if you were asleep."
It would infuriate me, leaving me sleepless for the rest of the night, while she'd be perfectly happy.
And her bizarre behavior didn't stop there. When we first moved in as freshmen, she introduced herself as a small-town girl whod aced her exams but didn't know the first thing about the big city. She warned us shed be asking a lot of questions.
It was like she was a newborn baby, her brain as smooth as a polished stone. She knew nothing.
In college, professors post everything in the class group chat. All you have to do is read the announcements. But every single time, she would ask us instead.
"Lucy, how do I submit this assignment? I don't get it."
Id tell her to check the group chat, that all the instructions were there. Shed ignore me and keep asking, "What format does it need to be? Word or PDF?"
"Either is fine. Just go look at the announcement."
It was like her brain had a filter that automatically deleted my words. Shed just keep plowing ahead on her own.
"Lucy, why won't it submit? Can you come help me?"
Id remind her again to check the group chat. Shed finally seem to hear me, only to follow up with, "Where are the announcements? How do you even see them? I don't know how."
I nearly lost my mind. From then on, I kept my guard up around her.
But that's the thing about a person that densethey always catch you off guard. Theres no defending against that level of stupid.

2
One morning, I had an 8 AM class. One of my roommates couldn't get up and asked me to check her in on the app. When I got to the lecture hall, I realized I was the only one from our dorm whod shown up. The other three were nowhere to be seen.
It was an easy class, and the professor wasn't taking attendance manually, so I figured Id do them all a favor and check everyone in.
I was feeling pretty good about myself when, suddenly, Serena burst through the main entrance. She marched right up to the professor, holding out her phone. "Professor, why am I automatically checked in even though I wasn't here?"
Every head in the room turned towards her. A cold sweat broke out on my back.
The professor gave her a look, his face hardening. "You know perfectly well how you were checked in."
"I really don't! That's why I came to ask you. Your system must be malfunctioning. I never clicked anything, but it signed me in."
Serenas face was a mask of pure innocence. The professor was so exasperated he almost laughed. His eyes quickly found me.
For checking in three roommates, I failed the course and had to retake it the next semester. The other two just got a few points docked from their grade.
I was so angry I could have spit blood. Through gritted teeth, I asked Serena why she had to make trouble out of nothing. She actually looked wounded. "How was I supposed to know someone could check in for me? It's your fault for butting in."
I swore to myself I would never stick my neck out for anyone again and started keeping my distance from her. I thought if I just avoided the psycho, Id be fine. I was wrong.
The university hosted an English public speaking competition. The first prize came with a cash award and a shot at a major scholarship. I signed up immediately and poured everything into my research and preparation.
On the day of the competition, I was on stage, confidently delivering my speech, when Serena suddenly stood up from the audience. "Why does your speech sound so similar to an idea I had?" she asked.
A wave of murmurs swept through the hall. My speech was cut short. The way everyone looked at me changed.
Afterward, I confronted her, asking how my speech was similar to hers. She hadn't even entered the competition, so what "idea" was she talking about?
She pointed to her head. "It's so weird, right? I had a dream about it a few days ago, and it was exactly the same as what you said. It totally freaked me out."
Hearing that, the air left my lungs. I nearly fainted.
My scholarship was gone. Soon, rumors started flying around campus that I was a plagiarist. The stress triggered a severe depressive episode, and one night, I found myself on the roof of the university library.
Maybe God took pity on me and gave me a second chance. A rebirth.
This time, I wasn't going to put up with Serena's craziness. This time, she was going to pay.
Serena called my name a dozen more times, but I didn't move. Just as she was about to start again, Kayla, our other roommate whod been gaming, finally snapped. She ripped off her headphones. "Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. What are you doing, calling for your lost puppy? What's with the ghostly wailing in the middle of the night? I can't even hear the damn footsteps in my game!"
Our dorm room was originally for four people, but one roommate couldn't stand Serena and moved out to rent a place off-campus. That left me and Kayla. I couldn't afford to move, so I endured. Kayla, on the other hand, had a fiery temper and a don't-mess-with-me vibe that Serena was too scared to challenge.
So, she picked on me, the easy target, tormenting me relentlessly.

3
Intimidated by Kayla, Serena didnt dare argue. She mumbled, "I just wanted to wake her up and ask if she was asleep."
"Are you a bot? She's asleep and you're waking her up to ask if she's asleep? Do you hear how insane that sounds? Why don't you just peel her eyelids open and ask her then?"
I almost burst out laughing at Kayla's comeback, but my amusement died a quick death.
Because Kaylas words had apparently given Serena an idea. She decided to climb up to my bunk to see for herself if I was really asleep.
It was clear she wasn't going to stop until I was awake. With that thought, I balled my hands into fists. As she climbed the ladder and her torso leaned through my curtain, I swung. "Nngh monster's coming!"
My fist connected squarely with her nose. She yelped in pain, instinctively covering her face, and lost her balance, tumbling off the ladder.
Even through my earbuds, I heard the heavy thump. But I kept my eyes shut, pretending to be deep in sleep.
After landing hard on her butt, Serena dropped the act. She scrambled up and shook me awake. "Lucy Shay! Why did you hit me?!"
Now I had no choice. Faking a groggy awakening, I looked at her, bewildered. "Huh? I hit you? When did I hit you?"
Serena clutched her nose. "You just punched me right in the face! It hurts like hell! Don't you dare deny it!"
I looked even more confused. "I was sleeping. How could I have hit you? And what are you doing climbing into my bed in the middle of the night? Are you trying to?"
I let the question hang in the air. Whatever Serena imagined, she immediately shot it down. "Of course not! I was just checking to see if you were asleep. I didn't know you'd lash out like that!"
I nodded slowly. "Well, you really shouldn't try to wake me up again. I'm a very restless sleeper. This time it was just a punch. Who knows what I'll do next time."
I added, "But Im a nice person, so I'll let it slide that you woke me up."
With that, I lay back down. Serena, still on the floor, looked at me in disbelief, utterly speechless.
Terrified of another punch, she finally scurried back to her own bed.
That punch bought me a few days of peace. At least she stopped trying to wake me up at night.
But I knew she wouldn't stay quiet for long. She was definitely holding a grudge. As long as I was in this room, my life would be a living hell.
So, the next day, I went to my student advisor to request a dorm change, hoping to get out as soon as possible.
Given how certifiably insane Serena was, I thought it would be an open-and-shut case. I was wrong.
"A dorm change? That's not really possible," my advisor said. "Everyone has different personalities; you just have to learn to get along. Serena hasn't done anything that serious, has she? You're all students. With a little communication, any problem can be solved."
He leaned back in his chair. "Besides, all the other dorms are full. Where would you even go? You're all adults now, you need to be more mature. Take my son, for example. He's studying in England, sharing a flat with a few international students. At first, he wanted to move out too, but now they've worked things out. If he can do it, why can't you?"
Listening to his smug speech, I rolled my eyes internally. This guy had coasted through life on his wife's successshe had a Ph.D. He loved bragging about her and his son studying abroad. To put it bluntly, he was a total phony.
It was clear a dorm change wasn't happening today. I sighed and left his office.

4
That evening, I was watching a show in my room when there was a knock on the door. Our class president came in with a stack of papers.
"This semester's mental health assessment forms," he announced. "Just fill them out. The advisor said to just check 'no' for everything. You know the drill."
We had to do this every semester. It was just a formality. We were all used to it.
As the class president handed out the forms, Serena piped up. "Why do we have to check 'no' for everything? Can't we check 'yes'?"
"It's just faster to check 'no'," he explained. "If you check 'yes', you have to actually read the question and see if it applies to you. Besides, even if you do have a problem, it's not like the school is going to fix it for you. I heard some guy in another department got diagnosed with severe depression and was forced to take a leave of absence and go home."
Serena nodded thoughtfully, staring at the form in her hands.
After he left, I glanced at Serena and said casually, "I doubt it's that serious. That sounds like an exaggeration. And even if someone did have a mental illness, the school would have to provide support. The counseling center isn't just for decoration, right?"
Serena picked up her pen and started filling out the form. There were only a few questions; I was done in less than a minute. I looked over at her. She was still contemplating the third question.
The next day, the class president collected the forms and gave them to the advisor.
A few days later, we were all in class when our advisor suddenly appeared at the door. After a quick apology to the professor, he called Serena out of the room.
Sensing drama, I slipped out the back door to see what was going on.
The advisor led Serena into an empty classroom and slammed the mental health assessment form down in front of her. "Who told you to fill this out however you wanted?! Didn't the class president tell you to check 'no' for everything?!"
Serena looked at him, her eyes wide and innocent. "Why did we have to check 'no'? Can't we just answer based on how we feel?"
The advisor looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. He couldn't just say it was a pointless formality, because if a student really did have a problem, it would become a massive issue for him.
"I said to check 'no', so you just do it! Why do you have to ask so many questions?!"
Serena, completely oblivious to his rising fury, continued, "But some of the questions applied to me. If I checked 'no' for everything, wouldn't that be falsifying information? The form says to answer honestly."
Before this, the advisor had been worried Serena might actually have a mental health issue. If she did something drastic, not even his Ph.D. wife and his son studying abroad could save his career.
But now he was sure. Serena didn't have a mental illness. She was just mentally ill.
"Never mind that. Here's a new form. Fill it out again, quickly. Bring it to my office after class."
Serena took the form with a quiet "Oh" and said nothing more.
The advisor thought he could finally breathe a sigh of relief. He was celebrating too soon.
After class, Serena brought the new form to his office. As it happened, the Dean of Student Affairs was there, checking in on the students' psychological well-being.
"Don't worry, Dean. We've compiled these results carefully. We'd never be careless with something so important," the advisor said, shooting Serena a look that screamed get out.
But she didn't get the hint. Instead, she turned to the Dean. "Dean, why do we have to mark 'no' for everything on this form? Is that a school rule?"

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