My Heart Turned to Ash

We were driving through a blinding blizzard in Aspen when my husband kicked me out of the car. He needed to lighten the load, he said, to ensure his one true love made it to her piano competition on time.
I clung desperately to the door handle, begging, but he floored the gas. The car dragged me across the icy asphalt for thirty feet before my grip failed.
Lying in the snow, watching his taillights fade into the white void, my heart turned to ash.
I thought I would die on that mountain. Instead, a passerby found me. The trauma didn't kill me; it woke me up. The memories I had lost in a plane crash eight years ago came flooding back.
The first thing I did after waking up was erase the woman I had been for the last eight years.

1
"Miss, are you absolutely certain? Once we process this, the identity of 'Kate Monroe' will cease to exist. There will be no record of her."
I nodded, my expression hollow. "I'm sure."
My name wasn't Kate Monroe anyway. I was Vivian Sterling.
Eight years ago, I survived an aviation disaster but lost my memory. I washed up in the city, confused and alone. The Anderson family took me in, and eventually, I became their daughter-in-law.
Jackson Anderson and I were once truly in love. We were the golden couple of our social circle.
Until two years ago, when his first love returned from abroad. Then, everything rotted.
I looked up at the massive LED screen in Times Square. It was broadcasting the National Piano Championship live.
Just as expected, without me there to delay them, Lily Summers had taken first place.
On screen, Jackson was smilinga gentle, adoring look I hadn't seen in years. "Lily is the champion of my heart. No one compares. As her manager, I couldn't be prouder."
"Oh?" the interviewer teased. "Apologies, Mr. Anderson. I assumed the champion of your heart would be your wife."
Jackson chuckled, a dismissive sound. "In terms of marriage, yes, my wife is first. But when it comes to talent? Its Lily, absolutely."
Watching from the sidewalk, I let out a short, sarcastic laugh.
I pulled out my phone and dialed a number I hadn't used in nearly a decade.
"Pete. Come get me in New York. Seven days."
I turned away from the noise of the city and walked into a tattoo parlor.
"Afternoon, miss. Looking for some ink?"
"The name over my heart," I said, my voice flat. "Remove it."
"J.A.? Those initials must mean a lot to you."
I looked down at my chest, then offered the artist a bitter smile. "Not anymore."
Four hours later, I walked home carrying a custom cake.
Jackson was already back, lounging on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. He glanced up.
"What's the occasion? Why the cake?"
The last embers of hope in my chest died out.
Today was my birthday.
"Nothing important," I said softly. "Just felt like buying one."
"Perfect timing, actually. Lily won the competition today. I'll take that to her celebration dinner."
He tossed his phone aside. At the mere mention of Lily, his eyes softened, his lips curving into a smile.
I stood silent for a moment, then nodded.
I went to the bedroom to change. Jackson barged in a moment later.
"Kate, you should come to the party. You won that title five years in a row; your presence would be a great endorsement for her."
He stopped, frowning at my chest. "What happened to your tattoo? Why is it bandaged?"

2
"I got hurt when you dragged me with the car."
A flicker of guilt crossed Jacksons face. "Well, thank god its just a scrape. That tattoo is the proof of our love; we can't have it damaged."
I gave a perfunctory nod. "Mm. Understood."
His expression relaxed. "Go get ready. We need to leave for the party now."
The moment I slid into the passenger seat, the little bobblehead bear on the dashboard chimed. It was a custom recording, and Lilys sickly-sweet voice filled the cabin.
"Kiss kiss, big brother! Have a beautiful day!"
Jacksons face stiffened slightly.
"Lily just recorded that as a joke. Don't overthink it."
"Mm," I replied, staring out the window.
I didn't say another word. I sat rigid, staring at the blurring city lights.
Because under my heel, I could feel a tube of lipstick.
It was Lily's favorite brand.
But I didn't want to expose him. I didn't want a fight. I had already decided to leave; arguing now felt like screaming at a wall.
Halfway there, Jacksons phone buzzed with messages from Lily.
He had forgotten that his phone was still synced to the cars display.
Lily-Cat: When are you getting here, Jackson? Im hungry.
Jackson: Hungry again? Didn't I just feed you in the car? You greedy little kitten.
I stared at the screen, my mind involuntarily painting a picture of exactly how he had "fed" her in this very seat.
Then it hit me.
The lipstick under my foot...
The nausea hit me like a physical blow. My mysophobiamy obsessive need for cleanlinessflared up, violent and overwhelming. I screamed for him to stop, threw the door open, and retched onto the pavement.

3
"Hurry up, Kate!" Jackson shouted, checking his watch. "I'm on a tight schedule!"
There was no way in hell I was getting back into that car.
Seeing me hesitate, Jackson scoffed and slammed the door. "Get in or don't. Im done coddling you!"
He drove off.
By the time I arrived at the venue, the party was in full swing.
Towards the end of the night, Jackson grabbed my arm, wincing. "Kate, go buy me some ibuprofen. My stomach is killing me."
I wanted an excuse to leave anyway, so I turned and walked out.
I was halfway to the elevator when I realized Id left my phone. I doubled back to the private room, only to hear voices leaking through the crack in the door.
"Jackson and Lily are getting bolder, aren't they?"
"Can you blame them? There's a pharmacy downstairs. Kate will be back in ten minutes. They have to make every second count."
I gripped the door handle, my hand trembling uncontrollably.
Everyone knew. The entire social circle knew they were sleeping together. I was the only fool playing house.
From inside, Jacksons voice drifted out, breathless and disjointed.
"You guys... keep it down. If my wife hears... Ill kill you."
Laughter erupted. "She's not even here! She'll never know."
I couldn't listen to another second. I turned and fled.
When I returned with the medicine, they were all sitting on the sofas, playing a drinking game.
One of his friends spoke up. "Kate, you were the last to arrive, and you're the only one who hasn't given Lily a gift yet. Let's guess what she brought!"
During my years as the Anderson daughter-in-law, Jackson and his parents controlled every dime. I had no personal wealth.
Seeing my hesitation, Jackson whispered, "Just give her a red envelope. Put it on my tab."
I set the medicine box on the table and spoke, my voice eerily calm. "The piano I used for five years. If you don't mind it being second-hand."
The room went silent. Gasps echoed around the circle.
That piano was a handcrafted masterpiece by Maestro Vane. It was the only one of its kind in the world.
Jackson had spent six months begging Maestro Vane to sell it to him.
It was his second-anniversary gift to me.
The guests looked at me with expressions ranging from shock to pity.
After arranging for movers to transport the piano, I went home to pack. My bedroom door slammed open.
Jackson stood there, his face twisted in anger. "What the hell is wrong with you? You gave away the piano I bought you? To someone else?"

4
I looked up at him, my eyes dry. "Lily is better than me. A better pianist deserves a better instrument."
Jacksons voice dropped to a whisper. "How did you know I said that?"
"It was broadcast on every screen in the city, Jackson. I saw it on the street."
He froze. Those were his words to the reporter. He couldn't deny them.
"Even so! You can't just give it away! That was a symbol of our anniversary!"
I smiled faintly. "So?"
Jackson stared at me, sensing a shift. "Kate... what does that mean? Are you trying to leave me?"
"If you fall in love with someone else," I said, "I will leave you. Permanently."
Jackson laughed, a cruel, arrogant sound. "Go ahead and try. Everything you have in this world, I gave you. Without me, where would you go? Don't forget, Kate, you can't divorce me unless I agree to it."
But I wasn't Kate Monroe. I was Vivian Sterling.
And that marriage license meant nothing to me.
Jackson stepped closer, his voice dropping to a menacing purr. "Don't even think about leaving. Be a good girl and stay home. I'll give you whatever you want. Remember your place, wifey."
I smiled.
Well see about that.
For the next four days, I systematically erased my existence from the house.
My clothes in good condition went to charity. The old ones went into the fireplace.
I deleted every social media account associated with "Kate Monroe."
I went to the government offices and transferred all relevant documents.
Jackson noticed none of this.
He and Lily had flown to Monaco to celebrate her victory.
Monaco was practically their second home. They flew there whenever the mood struck.
Three days left.
Lily sent me a photo. A little girl eating a candied apple.
Baby wanted sweets today, so Daddy made her the biggest one he could find! ~
It wasn't the first time shed sent photos, but I had never understood the connection. Why send me a child?
This time, the girls face was visible.
The realization hit me like a physical slap. The girl was a miniature copy of Jackson and Lily.
It was their daughter.
So this was why he never wanted children with me.
Pathetic.
Two days left.
Jackson organized a private fireworks display for Lily.
An eight-million-dollar show. Big brother said it was worth it just to see me smile.
Eight million dollars. It was beautiful, I had to admit.
He once promised to watch fireworks with me. He never did.
And now, he never would.
One day left.
This time, Lily didn't send a photo. She sent an audio file.
It was a recording of them in bed. His low, guttural groans. Her high-pitched cries of pleasure.
I listened to it once. I smiled, a cold, detached thing. I placed the phone on the desk next to a sealed envelope.
I shouldered my only backpack and walked out of the "home" I had lived in for eight years.
My extraction team was waiting at the airport, standing in perfect formation.
As I was about to board the private jet, Jackson called.
Wifey, I'm back from my trip. I'm coming to pick you up for dinner.
He was back, alright. With Lily and his illegitimate daughter in tow.
Dinner is in an hour, I typed back. Can you make it?
Through the glass terminal wall, I saw him. He was kneeling, tying the little girl's shoelaces. He was about to reply when Lily leaned down and kissed him.
"Honey, you promised to take us to the amusement park first! If we don't go now, we won't have time to fly Bella back to Monaco later."
The little girl tugged his hand. "Daddy, please! I want to go on the rides!"
Finally, a message appeared on my screen: Kate, something came up at work. Let's move dinner to three days from now.
I let out a soft laugh and powered off the phone.
I put on my oversized sunglasses. Flanked by bodyguards, I walked through the terminal, brushing right past Jackson.
He spun around, staring at my back.
"That woman... she looked just like Kate."
Lily laughed, linking her arm through his. "Don't be ridiculous. That woman is surrounded by security. She's clearly a VIP. Since when is Kate Monroe a VIP?"
Jackson chuckled, shaking his head. "You're right."
"Come on, Bella! To the amusement park!"
The intercom crackled overhead, the final announcement of my old life fading away.
Flight G1382, you are cleared for takeoff. Have a safe journey.

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