The Way He Saw Me

I bought a second-hand camera on eBay. When it arrived, I found a ghost inside: my seventeen-year-old self.

It was always my profile or the back of my head. The unmistakable angle of a secret crush.

I was baffled.

Then I glanced at my phone and saw Twitter was on fire.

#Actor Leo Wilders Former Assistant Sells His Personal Belongings for Exorbitant Prices#

A moment later, a message from the eBay seller popped up.

The camera is mine.
I didn't want to sell it.
Can I please have it back?

1

I stared at the small screen of the camera in my hand, a knot of surprise and confusion tightening in my stomach.

Id bought the vintage CCD camera a couple of days ago. It was an ancient model, but they took incredible photos, and a recent trend had made them popular again. Id caved and bought one.

But when it arrived, I found the unexpected ghost in the machine: me, in high school.

The background was the schools athletic field. Judging by the date stamp, it was the big track and field meet our sophomore year. There I was, seventeen-year-old Joanna, in my gym uniform and a high ponytail, sitting makeup-free in the bleachers. The photographer must have been some distance away, because the image was slightly blurred.

Seeing all those familiar faces of old classmates, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. But then I noticed something strange. As I scrolled through the next dozen photos, I was in every single one.

My colleague and lunch buddy, Talia, just back from her coffee run, leaned over my desk.

Hey, isn't that you? Who took this? Its so blurry.

No idea, I said, shaking my head. I figured the cameras original owner must have been some anonymous classmate.

Talia suddenly grinned. Ooh, look at this. Always your profile or the back of your head. This is total secret admirer footage, she declared. Whoever took these was definitely crushing on you.

I laughed it off. It has to be a coincidence. After all, there were plenty of other people in the shots. Maybe the photographer was just sitting near me and I ended up in the frame by accident.

The memory card came with the camera; the seller probably forgot to check it before shipping. Worried the photos might be important to them, Id messaged the seller on the app as soon as I found them. But by the time my lunch break rolled around, there was still no reply.

Waiting for the elevator, Talia was scrolling through Twitter, as usual. Her eyes widened. Oh my god, you have to see whats trending. She shoved her phone in my face.

The number one trending topic had a fiery little EXPLODING icon next to it.

#Actor Leo Wilders Former Assistant Sells His Personal Belongings#

As we stepped into the elevator, Talia kept dishing the gossip. Assistants these days have some nerve. You cant just sell a celebritys private stuff.

Leo Wilder has the worst luck, she continued. I wonder if there was anything valuable in the stuff they sold. Its probably impossible to get any of it back now.

I opened my own Twitter app and clicked on the trending topic. Leo Wilders studio had released a statement just a minute ago, confirming theyd already filed a police report and were pursuing legal action.

Leo had just won a major, prestigious award last month; his career was at an all-time high. He wasn't a Juilliard grad, just a raw, natural talent who had spent years building a reputation for having zero scandals. The only thing his rivals could ever dig up was his humble background. For a story like this to break now was, unsurprisingly, causing a stir.

Celebrities are usually obsessed with their public image, so taking it straight to the police was a rare move. He must have lost something incredibly valuable.

By the way, Talia added, that new reality show our network is about to start filming I saw Leo Wilder on the list of potential guests. Hes probably coming in to sign the contract in the next couple of days.

The elevator chimed, the display showing 1.

Then Talia seemed to remember something. Wait, didn't you and Leo Wilder go to the same high school? Did you two know each other back then?

An image flashed in my minda rainy afternoon in high school. The stuffy, noisy diner by the school gate. A boy sitting across the table from me, his head bowed quietly as he ate a bowl of ramen.

I shook my head.

We werent really close.

Ding.

The elevator doors slid open.

And standing right in front of me, as if summoned by the words Id just spoken, was the man himself.

2

Our eyes met. Before I could process it, he had already shifted his gaze away.

Even with the mask covering half his face, I recognized Leo Wilder instantly. His manager, Marcus, stood beside him. Judging by the grim expressions on both their faces, the Twitter scandal was hitting them hard. Marcus started to say something, but stopped when he noticed us in the elevator, swallowing his words.

They stepped aside to let us pass.

It wasn't until they were in the elevator and the doors were closing that Talia finally found her breath. Holy crap, was that actually Leo Wilder?

So, the contract signing was today.

I didnt say anything, just pressed my lips together. A strange, inexplicable awkwardness washed over me. In that brief moment our eyes met, I couldnt tell if he had recognized me.

And I had no idea if hed overheard what Id just said.

When we stepped out of the building, we found a light rain had started falling. Neither of us had an umbrella. Lunch break was precious time for corporate drones like us. Defeated, Talia gave up on her quest for food.

Forget it, Im just gonna go make instant noodles upstairs, she sighed. Joanna, what about you?

I was about to say Id go back with her when a mans voice called out from behind us.

Excuse me, ladies. A gentleman asked me to bring you these.

It was the man from the front desk. He was smiling, holding two umbrellas. They were high-quality, branded with our companys logothe kind we kept for important guests.

Talia accepted one, looking completely bewildered, then her expression turned to delight. Well, I have no idea who sent this, but what a gentleman.

I stared at the umbrella in my hand, lost in thought for a moment.

When I got back to my desk after lunch, my boss waved me over. The office was mostly empty during the break.

Joanna, perfect. Can you come with me for a second?

Confused, I followed her.

That new variety show were launchingI remember you signed up to work on it, right? she asked. The talents team is here today to sign the contracts. Id like you to go be the point person for them.

Just then, the door to the conference room swung open.

I did what you asked. Now dont you go backing out of your promise to drop the lawsuit Marcuss voice trailed off when he saw it was me again.

Leo stood with his back to me, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window at the city below. I only heard him give a soft, low Mm.

Hello, Mr. Wilder. I stepped forward and introduced myself. Im the production coordinator assigned to you. My name is Joanna.

The man with his back to me seemed to stiffen for a fraction of a second before he turned to face me. This time, his mask was off, and I could see his face clearly. He hadn't changed much since high school.

He just looked at me for two long seconds, then turned his head away again.

I know.

He said, I know, not I see, or Got it.

As if he were saying, I know. Your name is Joanna.

As if he were saying, I remember you. Youre Joanna.

3

I suppose Leo and I werent complete strangers.

Freshman year, I was a hall monitor. On my duty nights, I caught him hopping the fence to skip evening study hall more than once. I found out later he was leaving to work part-time jobs.

Everyone in our class knew Leos family didnt have money.

After a while, I got used to it. Sometimes, if I was in a good mood, Id turn a blind eye.

Leo never said much. But after he realized I was letting him go, he started bringing me little things when he came back. I was a boarding student and rarely got to leave campus. Sometimes it was a hot pretzel from a street cart, other times a bag of cheap candy from the corner store.

The time I remember most clearly was that winter. I got my period and the cramps were awful. Id run out of the instant heating pads I kept in my dorm, so I asked Leo if he could pick some up for me on his way back from work.

When he returned after study hall, he casually shoved a bag into my arms. Back in my room, I opened it. Inside, besides a huge box of heating pads, were three different kinds of chocolate bars.

To everyone else, Leo and I barely knew each other. He was a C-student; I was consistently in the top three of our year. No one knew that on every night I was on duty, as he slipped past me in the hallway, he would quietly ask the same question.

Need anything tonight?

An umbrella. Its raining. Be careful climbing the fence; dont slip.

When we were sorted into different classes for sophomore year, Leo and I saw less and less of each other. The freshmen took over hall monitoring duties. I dont know if Leo ever got caught hopping the fence again. Life got busy. I had new classes, a new circle of friends, and I quickly forgot about it all.

Sophomore year, I had a short-lived, ambiguous thing with the most popular guy in my class, Ethan.

For Memorial Day, the school gave us a rare two-day weekend. My English teacher asked me to stay late to help grade papers. By the time I left the main building, a sudden downpour had started. My hair was half-soaked by the time I ducked into the little ramen shop across from the school gate.

It was June, and the air was already thick and humid. Water had seeped into my shoes, and my socks clung to my feet, sticky and miserable. I ordered a lemonade and sat by the window, waiting out the rain and texting Ethan.

When I looked up again, someone was sitting at my table. The shop had filled up quickly because of the storm. It was a four-person table, and a boy had taken the seat diagonally across from me.

It was Leo.

Our eyes met. I was surprised, but I nodded at him. Hey. Small world.

Leo nodded back.

And then, silence.

Feeling the awkwardness, I took a few sips of my lemonade and stared out at the rain, praying it would stop. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leo had ordered a bowl of ramen. He didnt seem very hungry; he ate slowly, deliberately. So slowly, in fact, that he didnt make a single sound. The other tables were buzzing with conversation, but ours was unnervingly quiet.

Outside, the rain fell harder. Time seemed to stretch on forever.

I dont know how long I sat there, but suddenly the door chimed as it opened. It was Ethan. Hed already gone home, but after seeing my texts about being trapped by the rain, hed come all the way back to school with an umbrella for me.

Joanna, he called from the doorway, a gentle smile on his face. Ill walk you home.

As I was leaving, I glanced back one last time. The shop was filled with the clamor of voices. Leo was looking down at his bowl, as if he hadn't noticed a thing. As the door opened again, a gust of wind and rain blew in, cutting through the stuffy air inside.

Leo finished the last of his ramen in two quick bites and paid his bill.

Then he turned.

And walked out, alone, into the rain.

4

After we finished our meeting, I offered to walk the two of them downstairs. On the way, Marcus took a call. He said he had to handle something and told Leo to wait for him in the car.

The elevator doors closed again.

The small space now held just the two of us.

I watched his reflection in the mirrored wall of the elevator. Maybe it was the unexpected trip down memory lane, but the little bit of awkwardness Id felt earlier seemed to melt away.

Its crazy, right? I said, my tone light and friendly. Its been years since weve seen each other.

Leo, who had been quiet this whole time, finally turned to look at me properly.

He said flatly, I thought we werent close.

His words froze the smile on my face. Any other attempts at reminiscing died in my throat. I guess he holds a grudge.

Oh, right. Were not, I said, my expression turning blank. No idea who would send an umbrella to a practical stranger, then.

Leo:

We held each others gaze for a few seconds. He looked away first, unable to meet my eyes, but the tips of his ears were turning a deep shade of red.

I couldnt help but laugh.

Leo, are you serious? Youre the one who started ignoring me out of nowhere.

At the start of senior year, for reasons I never understood, Leo suddenly began to distance himself from me. He quit all his part-time jobs and threw himself into studying for the SATs. We were in different classes by then, and he was naturally a quiet person anyway. Senior year was a blur of college applications and early admission interviews for me, so I didn't have time to worry about anything else. Our connection just faded.

I heard later that he got into a decent university. While he was there, he took a job as an extra on a film set, got spotted by an agent, and was signed. The year after he graduated, he won his first Best Actor award. From there, his career had been a straight shot to the stars.

Hearing me say that, Leo was silent for a few seconds.

Then he mumbled, his voice low, Yeah. Im sorry.

Back then I didnt know

His voice trailed off, so quiet I couldnt catch the rest. But I waved it off magnanimously.

Hey, its fine. It was senior year. Everyone was stressed out. I get it.

Leo smiled, a small, genuine smile, and murmured a soft, Yeah.

Ding.

The elevator reached the ground floor.

Anyway, it was really good to see you, old classmate, I said, smiling as I prepared to say goodbye. Ill be your point person for the show, so Ill be seeing you around. Looking forward to working with you.

Likewise, Leo nodded.

Just as the doors were about to close, he turned his head.

Joanna. Next time, remember to bring an umbrella.

The doors slid shut.

I stood there for a second, stunned. Then, a helpless smile spread across my face.

Back in the office, I pulled out my phone, about to search for Leo Wilder in my contacts to see if I still had his number. That's when I saw a new message on the eBay app, sent one minute ago.

The camera is mine.
I didn't want to sell it.
Can I please have it back?

5

Just then, Talia came over to ask what I wanted for our afternoon coffee run. Seeing my exasperated expression, she leaned in.

Whats up?

Nothing. Just dealing with a teenage scammer on eBay.

Ugh, the worst, Talia said sympathetically. Whats the kid saying?

He says I can name my price, as long as I give him the camera back.

That sounded even more like a scam.

Half an hour later, I was sipping my latte and typing with one hand, a smirk on my face.

Ten thousand dollars. Not a penny less.

The reply was almost instantaneous.

Okay.
When can you ship it back?

Seriously? Do kids these days have that much allowance?

I decided to play it smart. My thumbs flew across the screen.

I see were in the same city. Why dont you just pick it up in person?

The reply came in a split second.

Perfect.

Heh. All right, kid. Lets see who you really are.

We agreed to meet the next day, a Saturday. I chose a busy downtown mall as the meeting spot.

As it happened, that Saturday was also my high school homeroom teachers wedding. Ms. Albright had taught my English class for three years. She was fresh out of college back then and felt more like a peer than a teacher. Our class had always been close, so a lot of former students showed up for her wedding.

When I arrived, the table was already buzzing about yesterdays trending topic.

Do you think Leo Wilder will show up today? Ms. Albright taught him freshman year, right?

Get real. Hes a huge star now. Why would he bother with a bunch of old classmates?

He was so quiet back in school. Who wouldve thought hed end up being the most successful person from our class?

My high school roommate, Chloe, saw me first and looped her arm through mine with a grin. Our star student has arrived!

I smiled and took my seat, then discreetly sent a text to Leo.

During dinner, the conversation inevitably turned to what everyone was doing now. And, just as inevitably, it circled back to Leo Wilder. As our most famous alumnus, people spoke about him with a mix of awe and nostalgia.

Remember how poor his family was? He used to hop the fence every night to go to work.

I heard his parents divorced when he was really young, and his grandma raised him. Now that hes made it big, she must be living a good life.

What? You didnt know? Leos grandmother passed away our senior year.

At that, my head snapped up from my plate.

What did you say?

6

Just then, my phone buzzed twice. It was a reply from Leo.

Me: Leo, youre not coming to Ms. Albrights wedding?
Leo: Something came up last minute. Cant make it.

The classmate who had just spoken looked at me, confused by my sudden outburst. Hed been in the same sophomore class as Leo and knew him better than most.

Im not wrong. His grandmother died right at the beginning of senior year. He even took a few days off school.

Joanna, whats wrong? Chloe asked, her voice filled with concern as she noticed my expression.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I just shook my head.

Just then, Ms. Albright came over to our table to give a toast.

Joanna! Its been so long.

For three years, I was her favorite student. Even when I got in trouble for that early romance sophomore year, she was the only one who defended me.

After we clinked glasses, Ms. Albright sighed dramatically. That Leo Wilder. He promised me hed be here today. I told all my friends Id get them autographs and pictures!

Dont worry, Ms. Albright, I said casually. I can get them for you. I was thinking about the upcoming show, and how many opportunities Id have to see him.

But Ms. Albright just gave me a knowing, mischievous smile and leaned in to whisper, So you two are still in touch.

She looked like a shipper whod just seen her favorite couple become canon. I knew there was something going on back then. But it was such a critical time for you both, and I was afraid of messing with your grades, so I never said anything. But a teacher always knows.

I sighed. Ms. Albright was the best, but she loved playing matchmaker.

Ms. Albright, Leo and I havent seen each other in years, either.

And back then, we were just regular classmates. We werent that close.

She blinked, surprised.

But he came to me and specifically asked which colleges you were applying to.

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