He Said We Were Just Friends

For six years, I was in love with Leo. And for six years, we were just friends.

When I was hospitalized with pneumonia, he was the one who paid for the private room and sat by my bedside, more attentive than anyone. When my cousin got engaged, he was my date, charming my entire family and leaving a gift so generous it made my aunts eyes water.

Everyone thought it was only a matter of time.

Finally, I worked up the courage to tell him.

He just gave me a lazy, sideways glance, a smirk playing on his lips as he flicked a silver Zippo open and closed. He let out a soft, incredulous laugh. I think of you as my best friend, Audrey. And you you want to date me?

Come on. Dont be ridiculous. Be good.

I was silent for a long time before I managed a single, choked word. Okay.

We didnt speak after that. The next time he called, two months had passed.

What have you been up to? he asked, his voice casual, as if no time had passed at all. Havent seen you in a while.

I glanced at the handsome, reserved man sitting across the table from me and answered truthfully. Oh. Im on a date.

The line went dead, but not before I heard the distinct, shattering sound of a phone hitting a wall.

1

I never imagined Leo and I would end up here.

He was leaning against the balcony railing, his expression loose and amused. That handsome mouth, which I knew so well, was tilted in a slight smile, as if Id just told him the worlds funniest joke.

So, tell me, he said. What is it you like about me?

My palms were slick with sweat. You youre good to me.

Better than anyone.

For six years, he had been a constant, unwavering presence in my life.

For my birthday, hed rent out that rooftop bar I loved, the one with the view of the city lights, and hed bake the cake himselfa lopsided chocolate monstrosity that was always the best thing Id ever tasted. He would gather everyone around, placing me in the very center of it all before lighting the candles with that lazy grin of his. Make a wish, Audrey. Anything heaven cant handle, Ill take care of it for you.

He owned a house on Seaview Drive, a sprawling modern thing with a garden overlooking the ocean. He had it filled with roses, just because Id once said I liked them. He never used to live there. He bought it right after I graduated, when I was a nervous wreck at my first job. I was new, overworked, and constantly on the verge of tears from the pressure. One night, I finally broke down in front of him.

Not long after, he moved in. He gave me a spare key. Next time you feel like the world is ending, hed said with a soft sigh, just come over. Im right here. Who else are you going to call?

I was too busy to eat, too stressed to remember lunch. So Leo, a man born with a trust fund whod probably never touched a raw vegetable in his life, learned to cook. Hed show up at my office building every day with a container still warm from his kitchen. The first dish he perfected was my favorite spicy rigatoni.

He came from old money, but he never acted like it. The line of women trying to get his attention could have wrapped around the city twice. One of them managed to get my number and tried to use me to arrange a dinner date. I was young then, not yet skilled at saying no. I set it up, and that night, the girl called me. He seems so warm, shed said, but underneath, hes ice cold. I dont think I have a chance.

She told me Leo was the most well-mannered man shed ever met. Even after realizing hed been tricked, he wasnt angry. He sat through the entire dinner with her, patient and polite. But at the end, hed said, Audreys just starting her career. Shes already stretched thin. You might not care about her time, but I do.

So, if its all the same to you, Id appreciate it if you didnt bother her again. Understood, Miss Davies?

Back then, everything felt golden. The world was quiet and full of promise.

Everyone who saw us together thought it was inevitable.

I thought so, too. But I never stopped to ask myself the most important question: What if he didnt love me back?

2

Leo raised an eyebrow. He stared at me for a long moment, his gaze dropping to the floor before he looked up and said my name, his voice suddenly serious.

Audrey.

Youre twenty-five. How many people have you really met? Youre going to find someone who treats you better than I do.

My body went rigid. I knew what this was. This was the end.

A sob caught in my throat.

Id ruined everything.

I had seen him reject people before. Beautiful girls would stand before him, tears streaming down their perfect faces, telling him how much they loved him. He wouldnt even flinch. If anything, hed take a subconscious step back, his indifference so complete it was chilling.

I just thought I thought I was different.

It was clear now that I wasnt. It was all in my head.

He saw the tears welling in my eyes and lifted his hand, an instinct to wipe them away, just like he always did. But halfway there, he seemed to remember himself. He dropped his arm, snatching the Zippo from the table and clicking it restlessly.

A desperate sliver of hope made me push. But for all these years theres been no one else. Just me. Cant we cant we at least try? I love you, Leo. I really, really love you.

The words tumbled out of me, a messy, incoherent plea.

His expression only grew colder.

A hot wave of shame washed over me. I knew him better than anyone. I knew that look.

He was losing his patience with me.

The next sound he made was a soft chuckle. It was careless, dismissive. It was the sound of a final judgment.

I see you as my best friend, Audrey. And you you want to date me?

Does that seem right to you?

Come on. Dont be ridiculous. Be good.

I stayed silent for a very long time.

I knew, in that moment, that this was the end. We wouldnt even be friends anymore.

But I asked myself, will I ever find someone like him again? Someone who would care for me more, who would arrange my entire life with such effortless thought?

I covered my face with my hands and began to sob.

He sighed, his gaze heavy on me. He didnt say a word, which somehow said everything.

He waited for me to finish crying before helping me to my feet. He used only his fingertips, and the second I was steady, he pulled his hand back as if hed been burned, shoving it deep into his pocket.

He gestured with his chin toward two large shopping bags by the door.

I brought you those from my business trip. You should take them with you.

I looked over. They were filled with boxes from Chanel, Hermsthings that would cost me years of salary. Hed given me gifts like this before. To him, no matter how expensive, it was just pocket change. He could always find an excuse: a promotion, a raise, or just because I was wearing a nice dress and the sun was shining.

If I refused, hed get moody. Over time, Id learned his tells. I started giving him gifts in returnsweaters and scarves Id knitted, ties and cufflinks Id spent weeks picking out. He always smiled when he received them.

A friend once told me, The way you two are, whats the difference between that and dating? If he told me he wasnt in love with you, Id call him a liar.

She was wrong. I was wrong. Leo only ever saw me as a friend.

I dont want them, I said.

He just nodded. Okay, he said, not pressing the issue.

As I walked toward the door, I glanced back at him.

He was sitting quietly on the sofa, a cigarette between his fingers, his expression unreadable in the dim light. He looked melancholic.

A thought seized me, stopping me in my tracks.

I could try again. I could be patient, I could pursue him, show him I was sincere. What if

But before I could speak, his voice cut through the silence.

The key to the house. Do you have it with you?

Can I have it back?

I had carried that key for years.

I had never once used it. Never stayed the night.

But I was always terrified hed forget his own, or that something would happen to him when he was alone. No matter where I went, I always had it with me.

Today, it finally had a use.

I dont know how I managed to fish it out of my purse and place it on the coffee table in front of him.

I only know that I must have looked utterly pathetic.

Because when he took it, he looked at me and froze for a second. Then his voice turned cool, laced with a distinct disappointment.

Audrey, he said, his tone almost detached. I always thought you were different from the other girls.

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