I Stopped My Meds For Her

After my daughter was brutalized by her classmates, I posted a statement online:

I do not intend to press charges, nor will I seek compensation. My child needs to go to school, and life needs to go on.

The entire internet turned on me. What kind of man, what kind of father, was so spineless? So weak? I didn't deserve to be a dad, they said.

But while they were busy insulting me, I had already resigned from my job, sold our house, and divorced my wife, leaving her with everything.

Then, I started waking up at 5 a.m. to run. To lift. To practice at the shooting range.

The word father isn't something you say. Its something you do.

1

I stood outside the emergency room, unable to accept that the person on that gurneyunconscious, covered in woundswas my daughter.

Her skin was a canvas of angry red welts and deep bruises. The doctor told me the lacerations would leave scars she would carry for the rest of her life.

Looking at her, a knife twisted in my gut.

It had happened because she hadnt said hello to the right girl in the hallway. For that, she was dragged into a bathroom and beaten by a pack of them.

Now, my daughter, Lily, was lying in an ER, her condition uncertain.

And the girls who did this to her were down the hall, giggling with each other.

They peeked out from behind their parents, sticking their tongues out at us.

Mister, you cant blame us, one of them chirped, the ringleader. Your daughter should have said hi to me. Dont worry, I wont touch her at school anymore. But after school no promises.

Their expressions were light, casual. Not a flicker of remorse.

Even the police officer standing nearby couldn't take it. Maam, sir, could you please control your children? Dont provoke the victims family.

I watched as those parents wrapped their arms around their daughters, their faces etched with protective concern. Their daughters were precious. Was mine just born to be broken?

Seeing the rage building in my eyes, the school principal stepped in, his brow furrowed. Please, calm down. We didnt want this to happen any more than you did. But the girls know they were wrong, and their parents have agreed to cover all the medical expenses. Isnt that enough? Lets not blow this out of proportion.

I stared at him in disbelief. Were those words actually coming out of a grown mans mouth? An educator? My daughter is brutalized, and when I demand justice, Im the one blowing things out of proportion.

Why are you looking at me like that? Am I wrong? he pressed. Theyve apologized. What more do you want? Do you need to ruin their lives to be happy? Cant you think about the bigger picture here?

The bigger picture?

It was the sickest joke Id heard in my entire life.

Then, a man dripping in gold jewelrya thick chain, a gaudy watchspoke to me with a dismissive smirk. Look, buddy, I get it. Youre just trying to squeeze a little extra cash out of this, right? Cut the act. How much do you want to make this go away?

He was the father of the ringleader.

I have plenty of money, he continued, but if you want it, you have to make a public statement. You have to say your daughters injuries were from a fall. That my kid had nothing to do with it.

When I didn't answer, his face hardened. Hey. Dont push your luck. Im giving you an easy way out. You should take it. Because I have a thousand ways to make sure you can never make a living in this town again.

Theres an old saying: the kindest people are the ones who get taken advantage of the most.

What he didnt know was that the last person who spoke to me like that has been dead for a very long time.

2

When Lily woke up, she curled into a ball under the hospital blanket and refused to come out. Seeing her small body trembling made my heart ache. It was only when she heard my voice that she finally responded, slowly peeking her head out.

Her small face was a mask of terror. She scrambled out of the sheets and threw herself into my arms.

Daddy, Mommy, Im so scared, she sobbed. They all hurt me. I dont want to go back to school. Im so, so scared.

I raised my hand to stroke her hair, but my eyes caught the angry red lines on her back, and the pain in my chest sharpened. This was my little girl, who would cry in my arms over a paper cut. I couldn't imagine the desperation she must have felt during that hour of torture.

Daddy, she whispered into my shirt, you always say you only get punished when you do something wrong. What did I do wrong? I just I wasnt wearing my glasses, so I didnt see her.

I held her tighter, stroking her head. You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. Nothing. They are the ones who are wrong.

I pulled back to look her in the eyes. And I promise you, Daddy will make sure that the people who did wrong will pay for it.

Tears welled in her eyes. Really, Daddy?

I nodded, my voice firm. Really.

My wife, Sarah, sat beside us, wrapping her arms around Lily, her expression a mixture of heartbreak and helpless rage.

After we finally managed to get Lily to fall asleep, I drove to the police station.

The officers words sent my heart plummeting back into that dark pit.

It turned out the ringleader, Madison, had a long history of this. Her parents were both high-powered attorneys. They had used their connections to get their daughter a falsified psychiatric diagnosissome kind of intermittent explosive disorderwhich had helped her escape legal consequences more than once.

What kind of bullshit is that? I demanded. She gets a free pass to be a monster just because shes a minor? A fake diagnosis makes her untouchable?

The officer let out a heavy sigh, his gaze full of sympathy. Im sorry, man. Our hands are tied. The best we can do is push for a bigger settlement. If they bother your daughter again, call us immediately.

So that was it. Who knew how many other kids would have to suffer at her hands?

Just then, my phone buzzed. A new message. I opened it and my blood ran cold.

It was a video of Lily being beaten.

3

In the video, Lily was gasping for air as several girls held her down. Her face was already swelling, turning purple and blue as she cried helplessly.

You guys are hitting her too hard, a voice said off-camera, laughing. You knocked her tooth out! Hows she gonna look pretty now?

Madison then pointed the camera directly at Lilys face for a close-up before pulling out a large pair of scissors and hacking at her hair.

The video ended with the girls turning the camera on themselves. They each had a foot planted on Lilys back, and they were all smiling, flipping off the camera with their middle fingers.

Beside me, Sarah choked back a sob, her tears falling onto my hand. Her own hands were trembling, unable to watch another second.

Those animals, she whispered, her voice shaking with rage. Ill kill them. Ill burn my life to the ground to get justice for Lily.

She was completely falling apart.

But my heart my heart had become unnervingly calm.

When we got home, I walked straight to the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet, and dumped every single pill I owned into the toilet.

A fake psychiatric diagnosis lets you do whatever you want without consequences? Is that how it works?

Fine.

Lets see what happens when a real one stops taking his medicine.

Because when the madness comes, even I cant control myself.

4

This was my secret. No one knew except for Sarah.

As a kid, I was a victim of bullying, too. It was relentless, and it broke something inside me. It gave me a gift: a severe bipolar disorder with psychotic features.

The first time I snapped, I stabbed every one of my tormentors with a pencil.

The second time, I cut a rabid dog that bit me into pieces.

The third time, I killed a neighbor who tried to assault me.

After that, I was sent away. I spent ten years in a state psychiatric hospital before I was deemed stable enough for release. The condition of that release was a lifetime of medication.

Even I, a man with a genuine, violent mental illness, understood the necessity of medicine. I knew I had a responsibility to control myself, to keep society safe from what I was capable of.

But Madison, with her sham diagnosis, was using the shield of mental illness as a weapon to terrorize the weak.

If the sane world and its rules couldn't give my daughter justice, then it was time for me to return to the world of the insane.

5

I gathered all our important documents and drove Sarah to the courthouse. She was silent the entire way, her hand just holding mine tightly.

I signed everything away. The house, the savings, all of it. Full custody of Lily went to her. The clerk handling the uncontested divorce had never seen anything like it. She kept looking from me to Sarah with suspicion, trying to talk us out of it, but finally, she just stamped the papers.

As we left, Sarah stopped me. Whatever youre going to do, I support you. Just one thing. Dont hurt yourself. Lily and I still need you.

Fifteen years wed been together. She was, and always would be, my rock.

Back at our half-empty house, Lily limped over to me with a glass of water. The scabs on her face were still healing. I pulled her into a hug, my heart aching.

Lily-bug, I said softly. Ive already arranged for you to take a break from school. How about you and Mommy go visit Grandma and Grandpa for a while?

She looked down, ashamed. Im sorry, Daddy. I caused so much trouble. Its okay, I can go back to class. Ill just Ill hide from them.

She said it was okay, but I could see the profound terror in her eyes. After I promised her again and again that everything would be all right, she finally, cautiously, nodded.

At the train station, just before they boarded, Lily, wearing a hat and a mask to hide her face, turned back one last time.

Daddy, youll come get us soon, right? Me and Mommy are going to miss you so much.

Watching their train pull away, I took a deep breath. Dont worry, Lily. The bad people will get what they deserve. Daddy promises.

6

That day, I posted a picture of my signed divorce papers and the agreement giving Sarah all our assets on my Facebook page.

The caption was simple: Starting today, Im back to being me.

The news hit my circle of friends and family like a bomb. Messages flooded in. Why? Why the divorce? I had a sweet daughter, a loving wife. I was the one all my friends envied.

Amid the dozens of messages of concern, one notification stood out: a series of celebratory fireworks emojis sent by Madisons parents.

Then, a new private message from Madison herself.

Hey Mister. Heard you got kicked out. Did your wife finally dump you? Hows life on the streets? Hope you find a new wife and have a healthy daughter soon. Oh, and by the way, make sure I never see your daughter again. My condition might flare up. I cant control myself, you know.

Attached was a photo. A small, white rabbit, its fur shaved off, its body covered in cuts and bruises.

Lilys favorite animal was a rabbit.

I suppressed the surge of rage and posted a second image: a copy of my official diagnosis for severe bipolar disorder, stamped with the red seal of a well-known psychiatric hospital.

My first day off my meds, I wrote. Suddenly feeling the urge to kill someone.

And one last detail. Forgot to mention, the hospital that issued this is the same one that diagnosed Madison King. Same doctor, too.

As expected, Madisons father appeared in the comments. Falsifying a medical document is a felony, you know. Are you trying to threaten us by pretending to be crazy?

I ignored him. I stuck to my new routine. A six-mile run every morning. Weight training. Marksmanship drills. Fighting practice.

I stopped talking about the bullying incident entirely. It was as if it had never happened.

The other parents were ecstatic. They thought they had won. Life was back to normal for them.

I was at the range, emptying my last magazine, when the police called. They wanted me to come in and sign the settlement agreement. I refused.

I didnt want their money. And I damn sure didnt want a settlement.

The officer pleaded with me for a long time, but finally gave up and started calling the other parents to inform them.

The moment they heard Id rejected the deal, they exploded.

We already agreed to pay! What more does he want?

Hes just trying to extort more money! Fine, now he gets nothing! Lets see how long he can hold out!

Lilys homeroom teacher called to blame me for making things difficult.

If you continue this unreasonable behavior, well have no choice but to expel your daughter. We cant have our schools reputation damaged by this.

You cant be so selfish. No wonder your daughter has problems. She has no sense of community spirit. How will she ever fit in?

Do you have any idea how long the principal yelled at me today? If you want to blackmail these families for more money, fine, but dont drag me into it! My performance review is this year! If this messes it up, Im holding you responsible!

And besides, he added, his voice dripping with disdain, it was just a little fight. Does she have to be so dramatic?

I hung up, unwilling to listen to another word.

After hearing I wouldnt settle, Madisons father began calling me nonstop.

Im a lawyer! I have connections you cant even imagine! You think I cant find out every dirty little secret about you with one phone call? Ill have you crucified online!

I knew he probably could. But what did it matter anymore?

I blocked his number.

In their sprawling mansion, Madisons parents sat on a velvet sofa, staring at the red exclamation point on their screen. Furious, Madisons father picked up his phone and dialed a number.

I want everything you can find on Lilys parents. Everything.

A short while later, his phone rang.

Mr. King, we found it.

Ethans parents filed for divorce seven days ago. The father, Ethan, voluntarily gave up all marital assets. He also quit his job the next day. For the past week, his routine has been the same: morning runs with a weighted vest, and afternoons at a shooting range.

The voice on the other end hesitated. Theres more, sir. This man Ethan he previously killed three people. He spent ten years in a state psychiatric hospital.

Divorce? Quit his job? Shooting range? Psychiatric?

Mr. Kings hand went limp. The glass of water he was holding slipped and shattered on the marble floor.

He hes really mentally ill?

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