Fate Let You Go

It was a few days after I gave Chad Pei my first time.
My brother, Joshua, suddenly called and asked me to dinner.
My eyes stung as I looked at the man who, not long ago, had whispered in my ear that he would cherish me for a lifetime.
Now, Chad was blushing as he carefully peeled a shrimp for another girl.
My brother, oblivious, just grinned at me.
Jealous? Feeling like you want to start dating, too?
I fought back the tears and managed a smile.
Yeah, Joshua. Weren't Mom and Dad saying they wanted to set me up with someone really great?
Im in.
The bowl in Chads hand suddenly slipped and crashed to the floor.

1
A waiter quickly came over to clean up the shattered porcelain.
My brother shot Chad a confused look. Dude, whats wrong with you? Get a girlfriend and you cant even hold a bowl steady?
The panic on Chads face vanished in an instant, so fast I thought Id imagined it.
He leaned back, cool and composed, a slight smirk on his lips. You got it.
Chloe Fuchs gazed at him, her eyes shy and shimmering like a spring pond.
Oh, stop it.
Chad leaned back in his chair, draping an arm casually over the back of hers, effectively pulling her into his space. He looked down at her, his expression radiating pure adoration.
What, you dont like hearing that? Hmm?
Chloe gave him a playful shove.
My brother covered his face, groaning about their public display of affection. I just kept my head down and focused on my food, pretending not to notice the way Chads eyes kept darting in my direction.
Joshua returned to our previous conversation. Lils, were you serious just now? If youre not joking, Im totally going to call up Connor Kang and set something up.
My hand tightened around my spoon. I took a sip of soup before forcing another smile.
Of course, Im serious. Seeing how in love Chad and Chloe are, it just makes me want to find someone, too.
I put extra emphasis on the words in love. Chads hand, midway to his mouth with a spoonful of soup, paused for a fraction of a second.
Then he turned to Chloe, his voice soft. Careful, its hot.
My brother laughed. Alright, alright! Its about time my little sister started dating. Ill call Connor as soon as we get home.
Clang.
The sound of a spoon hitting the table was jarringly loud.
Chads voice was low. Sorry. Slipped.
Chloe took his hand, her voice laced with concern. Did you burn yourself?
Joshua groaned again about being the third wheel, complaining that he shouldnt have invited me out last minute, forcing me to suffer through their lovey-dovey display with him. Chloes cheeks were flushed the color of a sunset.
Toward the end of the meal, Chloe excused herself to go to the restroom. Just then, my brother got a call and had to go move his car.
Suddenly, it was just Chad and me at the table.
He idly flicked a lighter on the table, one eyebrow raised.
Well, look at you, Lily Shen. All grown up. His tone was laced with sarcasm. Learned how to play hard to get, have you?
Even a fool could feel the sharp edge in his words. The bitterness Id been suppressing rose in my chest again, a giant hand squeezing my heart until it ached.
I struggled to speak, to force a smile. What? Is there a rule that says youre allowed to start fires, but I cant even light a candle?
Chads lips parted, as if to say more, but then Chloe reappeared.
He tossed out a hurried sentence. Dont overthink it. Ill explain when we get back.
Then he left me, rising to meet Chloe with a welcoming smile. She said her professor needed her for something, so she had to head back to campus. Chad nodded in understanding, wrapping an arm around her waist to walk her out.
Chloe looked back at me apologetically. We have to go, Lily. See you later.
I just shook my head, mumbling that it was fine.
As they left, Chad kept glancing back, but I just stared down at my plate, refusing to meet his eyes.
When Joshua returned to an empty table, he was bewildered. Whered Chad go? He was supposed to pay today. Did he seriously dine and dash?
I didnt answer.
My brother, still not sensing my distress, just grabbed his coat and went to settle the bill.

2
We were stopped at a red light when Joshua finally broke the silence.
Lils, whats wrong? Youve been quiet ever since we left the restaurant.
I forced a smile, trying to change the subject. Joshua I think I want to come home.
He slammed on the brakes, his face lighting up with pure joy. You finally want to come home? Seriously? Thats fantastic! Im telling Mom and Dad right now. Ill have Maria redecorate your room, anything you want. Just tell me what youre thinking, and Ill make it happen.
As he started driving again, he continued to ramble. So, when do you want to move back? Today? Is that too soon? Would it be a hassle for everyone?
I looked at him, suddenly anxious.
He reached over and affectionately ruffled my hair. Silly girl, what are you talking about? Its never a hassle when family comes home. Dont you worry about a thing. Hey, should we let Chad know?
I shook my head softly. No, lets not. Its a small thing, no need to bother him. I wouldn't want Chloe to get the wrong idea.
Joshua nodded, then launched into a detailed plan for redecorating my room. I turned my head to the window, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.
The trees outside blurred into a green streak. It was on a day just like this that I first went to live with the Peis.
When I was three, an old beggar came to our door. After my mother gave him a meal, he looked at me with an unnervingly serious gaze and told her, If you want this child to see her eighteenth birthday, she must be raised far away from you. Otherwise, she is fated to perish before she turns ten.
My parents dismissed it as nonsense at first. But after my third birthday, I started getting sick. Constantly. The worst time, the hospital issued a critical condition notice. In a moment of panic, my brother reminded my parents of the old mans words. After much debate, they decided it was better to be safe than sorry.
So, they sent me to live with close family friends in the next city over.
The Pei family. Chads family.
I had lived in their home for fifteen years.
By the time the car pulled up to the Peis villa in the hills, the tear tracks on my face had dried, and my brother was none the wiser.
I jumped out of the car, feigning cheerfulness. Hey, Joshua, just give me a minute. Ill grab my stuff. Ill be quick.
The garden in front of the villa was in chaos. Workers were bustling about, digging and planting.
Seeing me, the Peis housekeeper looked flustered. Miss Shen. Why are you back so early?
I was confused at first, until I saw it: all of my luggage, haphazardly piled outside the door to the storage room.
The housekeeper rushed to explain. Young Master Pei said to move you to the east wing room. Its just it hasnt been prepared yet, so we had to put your things here for now. Please, have a seat. Ill get the staff to speed things up.
A heart I thought couldnt break any further was brutally gouged once more.
I managed a bitter smile. Its fine. It wasnt their fault.
I bent down and began picking up my things, carefully placing my important documents back into my suitcase. The noise from the garden was a constant hum. I couldnt stop myself from asking.
Why all the sudden landscaping?
The housekeeper answered respectfully. The young master said there will be a happy occasion in the family soon. The future Mrs. Pei loves lilies of the valley. So we have to clear out the unimportant plants to make room for them. He had them flown in from overseas yesterday. Theyll be here this afternoon. Theyre very precious.
My mind went blank.
I loved tulips. Id mentioned it to Chad several times, how I dreamed of having a field of them in the garden. Hed either frown and say it was too much trouble, or just wave me off and tell me to ask the housekeeper. As a guest in their home, I never felt comfortable making such a frivolous request.
But lilies of the valley they were a hundred times more delicate and difficult to care for than tulips.
So, it was never about it being too much trouble.
It was about who he was willing to be troubled for.
At the very bottom of the pile was a box of things related to Chad. The 9,999 paper cranes hed folded for me. Our first photo together, both of us careful not to stand too close, terrified his parents might see something. A piece of coral hed brought back from his first deep-sea dive when he was eighteen. Hed said he hoped we would share many firsts together, that he only wanted to experience the wonders of the world with me.
Flashbacks from last night flooded my mindhis arms around me, his voice coaxing me into one more time. It was more nauseating than any soap opera. I had laid in his arms and asked when he would tell our parents about us.
Hed said, Soon.
And soon turned out to be today, a dinner with his girlfriend.
Tears fell again.
The housekeeper asked gently, Miss Shen, are you alright? The room in the east wing has the same layout, it gets plenty of sun. It just hasnt been used in a while, so its a bit dusty. If theres anything youre not happy with, please just say the word. Otherwise, the young master will be upset with us when he returns.
I shook my head. Theres no need. Im going to stay at my familys home for a few days.
She breathed a visible sigh of relief.
I picked up my suitcase and pointed to the box of memories.
Please, throw all of this away for me.
The housekeeper looked stunned, but she eventually just nodded.
Fifteen years with the Peis. Today, it was finally over.
My brother was slouched in the driver's seat, playing on his phone. When he saw me emerge, he leaped out to help with my suitcase.
You sure you dont want to stay a few more days? he asked.
I glanced back at the villa, just a few yards away, and gave a bitter laugh.
No. Im done.

3
On the highway home, Chad called.
I ignored it, treating it like a spam call. My brother was focused on driving and didnt notice. He brought up the dinner again. I finally broke, my voice hesitant.
Joshua how do Chad and Chloe know each other?
My brother sighed, lost in thought. Ah, Chloe. Shes Chads one that got away. His dream girl. Hes been single all these years, just waiting for her to come back to him. In high school, he even got suspended for her. She was waitressing, and some customer was harassing her. Chad grabbed a beer bottle and smashed it over the guys head. He broke the guys ribs, got his own leg broken in the fight, and they both ended up at the police station. Since Chad was a minor, they settled it with money, but because hed skipped school to be there, he still got suspended.
He shrugged. Thats what I heard, anyway. I wasnt at the same high school. You were away at that summer camp, so you probably never heard about it.
My heart, already at rock bottom, plunged into an abyss.
So thats what happened.
That summer camp. We were camping at a national park. That night, a few workers from a nearby construction site snuck into our campground. I can still feel itthe calloused hand on my thigh, the sticky, nightmarish feeling that clung to me like a disease.
There were screams. I wasnt the only one.
The other girls parents arrived one by one, demanding answers. My parents were overseas. My brother was at his dorm and couldnt get there quickly. I didnt want to bother Chads parents.
The only person I could think of was Chad.
When I called him, my hands shaking, I expected him to drop everything and come right away.
But his voice on the phone was vague. Ive got something going on over here. Can you just hang tight for a bit? Okay? I promise, youll see me first thing in the morning. I swear it.
Disappointed, I agreed. The camp put us up in a hotel. I couldnt sleep that night. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could smell was the stale smoke on that strangers clothes.
The next morning, an exhausted-looking Chad appeared at my hotel room door.
I couldnt hold it in anymore. I threw myself into his arms and sobbed.
He stumbled back, sighing with a mix of helplessness and affection. Hey, hey, Im here now, arent I? Whats with all the tears?
It was only after Id cried my eyes out that I noticed he was on crutches.
He told me hed injured himself playing basketball. That he had to sneak past the nurses at the hospital to get here.
I was flooded with guilt and sadness. I gently touched his injured leg. Does it still hurt? Im so sorry, I didnt know.
He gave a wry smile. It hurts, he teased. But if you kiss it better, it might stop.
He froze after he said it, as shocked as I was. Because I actually stood on my tiptoes and placed a soft, fleeting kiss on his jawline.
I tried to pull away, mortified, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms. His breathing was heavy, his voice suddenly thick and raspy, as if he was fighting for control.
He spoke through gritted teeth, each word deliberate. Lily! Kissing thats the guys job.
I just mumbled, Oh, my mind a complete blank.
Why are you crying? My brothers worried voice pulled me from the memory. He was about to pull over, but I grabbed a handful of tissues and quickly wiped my face, inventing an excuse.
I was just so moved by Chad and Chloes love story.
Joshua looked at me, half amused, half exasperated. You girls are so sentimental. Its that easy to make you cry?
He was about to say more when his phone buzzed. The screen lit up with Chads name. I turned to stare out the window, terrified my expression would give me away.
Chads deep voice, laced with a strange anger, filled the car through the speakers.
Joshua, do you have any idea where your sister is?

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