My Mother Loved Her Pig More Than Me

On the day my dad walked out on us for another woman, my mom bought a pig.

The pig was named Joy. I was also named Joy.

Whenever she was angry, she would grab a wooden switch, go to the pen, and whip the pig.

Joy, why aren't you dead yet?

I would squat nearby, listening to the thud of the wood hitting flesh, unable to tell which Joy she was screaming at.

When she was tired of beating it, she would scoop out the exact same amount of food for the pig and me.

"Good girl, Joy. As long as you eat more and get fat, Mommy will be happy."

To make her happy, I ate uncontrollably until I hit 250 pounds.

But then, my mom only looked at me with disgust.

"Look at you. What company would ever hire you looking like this? Are you planning to just be a couch potato and leach off me forever?"

Later, my mukbang live streams blew up, and I started making ten grand a month. But my mom called just to curse at me.

"You don't care about your reputation, but I care about mine! Youre as fat as a pig, and youre showing your face to the whole world? Aren't you embarrassed?"

I hid my terminal stomach cancer diagnosis under my pillow.

Mom, Im using my life to buy your approval. Will that finally be enough?

Maria, the office cleaning lady, asked me with concern, "Sweetie, youre throwing up so much blood. You should go to the hospital."

I waved my hand, using the sink to push myself up.

Outside, the voices from the cubicles dropped slightly.

"Is she serious? Killing herself just for some internet money."

"Well, she makes more in one stream than we do in half a month."

"Still, it's terrifying. I heard her throwing up just now. It sounded like a pig being slaughtered."

"She must have been a pig in her past life. She eats literally anything."

Just then, my phone rang. To my surprise, it was my mom.

"Im at the bus station. Where do you live?"

I froze.

It had been three years. This was the first time she had ever come to see me.

"Mom, stay there. Im coming to get you right now."

At the station exit, my mom was standing there.

"Mom, lets go. Ill take you home."

I picked up her heavy luggage and walked her back to my place.

She stood in the middle of my living room, looking around. Her eyes locked onto the empty takeout containers I hadn't had time to throw away.

"Is this what you eat every day?"

"Sometimes I'm just too busy to cook..."

"You make so much money, yet you live in a dump like this?"

I choked up a bit.

"Mom, this apartment is fifteen hundred a month. Its actually pretty nice..."

"Nice? My foot," she interrupted. "On the bus ride here, I googled you. I saw your live stream."

She didn't look at me. She just stared out the window.

"All those people watching you stuff your face with tons of food. You look ridiculous."

"The folks back home saw it too. If youre not embarrassed, I am."

I stood by the kitchen door, still holding the fresh groceries I had bought for her.

"Mom, I do this to make a living..."

"A living?" She whipped her head around. "What happens when you eat yourself to death?"

"If you collapse, whos going to take care of me when Im old? Youre my only daughter. Who else can I rely on?"

"Richard's eldest son just got into a prep school, and he has another baby now. Both of them are more successful than you'll ever be!"

She sat on the couch and wiped her face. "Fine. Im hungry. Go make dinner."

Fried fish, garlic shrimp, and chicken soupI cooked a whole table of food.

But she didn't even look at me. She picked up her fork and started eating.

Watching her eat, I let out a soft laugh.

She paused, her fork hovering in the air. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," I said. "Eat up, Mom. It won't taste good once it gets cold."

She gave me a suspicious look.

I leaned back in my chair. My hand slipped into my pocket, touching the crumpled diagnosis sheet that said I had late-stage stomach cancer. In the end, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

I was about to stand up to clear the dishes, but she stopped me.

"Sit down." She carried the bowls to the kitchen. "Im staying here from now on to look after you."

I sat there, stunned.

"These past years haven't been easy for me. That bastard Richard just packed up and left, leaving the two of us."

"I raised you all by myself. You saw how much I suffered."

I sat at the dining table, silent.

"When you were in college and had to pay those fees, I scraped every penny together for you."

"Back then, I was washing dishes at a diner for eight dollars an hour. I didn't spend a single cent on myself. I gave it all to you."

In all these years, this was the first time I had ever heard her say this.

"Mom..."

She rinsed the bowls, put them on the rack, wiped her hands, and walked out.

"So, stop doing those stupid eating streams."

I froze. "Mom, this makes good money. I need to support you."

"Support me?" She glared at me. "Is money all you care about now? Do you even care about me as your mother?"

"That's not what I"

"Then did you ever consider my dignity?" Her voice escalated.

"Do you know what the neighbors back home are saying?"

"They say youre on the internet acting like a glutton, stuffing food down your throat like a pig. It's humiliating."

"If this gets to Richard's new wife, who knows how shell mock us."

I looked at her. "Dignity, dignity. Thats all you ever care about."

"Does dignity put food on the table? I have to make money while I still can. When my body gives out, I won't be able to make a dime!"

"What do you mean by that?" She glared at me.

I shut my mouth.

"What do you mean your body is giving out?" She walked over, standing right in front of me. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No." I turned my face away. "Im just saying, this job doesn't last forever. I have to make as much as I can now."

She didn't say anything. She sat back down on the couch.

"Fine. Do whatever you want," she said, her eyes dull. "But all the money you make has to go to me. Ill keep it safe for you, so you don't blow it."

When I was little, my mom's eyes used to smile. Now, they never did.

After a long silence, she whispered, "If you hadn't been born a girl, your father would have never cheated with that woman."

"Mom, I was only seven when Dad cheated."

She went rigid.

"Do you know what the saddest day of my life was? It wasn't the day he left. It was the day he came back to visit me."

"He came back once a year to bring me snacks and buy me clothes."

"Whenever he came, you were happy. When he left, you cried. And after you cried, you would grab a switch and beat the pig."

My throat tightened.

"Sometimes, when you beat the pig, I would squat right next to you and listen."

"Every time the pig squealed, I would flinch."

"You screamed, 'Joy, why aren't you dead yet?' and I would wonder... should I be dead too?"

Her lips trembled, but no sound came out.

"Later, I realized you weren't screaming at the pig. You were screaming at me. You were screaming at him," I said. "But you couldn't keep him, so you kept me. You took all your anger out on me."

She fell completely silent.

That night, lying in bed, my phone buzzed.

I scrolled down and saw a direct message.

"Hey Joy, I'm a big fan of yours. Please take care of your health during your streams. Don't eat too much. It breaks my heart to watch sometimes."

At eight o'clock the next night, I started my stream on time.

The moment the camera turned on, the chat began to flood.

I smiled at the camera and picked up a piece of fried chicken.

"Good evening, everyone! Thank you so much for the gifts. Today, your favorite curvy mukbanger, Joy, is eating fried chicken and spicy noodles!"

The chat scrolled rapidly.

"Joy looks a bit pale today..."

"Eat up, eat up!"

"Don't eat too spicy, it's bad for your stomach!"

I tore off a piece of a chicken drumstick and took a bite. My stomach churned violently. I forced it down.

As I was eating, the screen suddenly exploded with flashy animations.

The chat went wild.

"Ten thousand dollars! Oh my god!"

"Thank you to the big boss!"

I was stunned. I put down the chicken leg and stared at the screen.

The user ID of the sender was "Richard."

A direct message popped up on my phone.

"Joy, its Dad. Please stop the stream. Don't eat anymore. Im begging you."

I stared at the words. The screen exploded againhe had sent another ten thousand dollars.

"Your mom took all the money I sent you in the past. I know that now. From now on, Ill transfer it directly to you."

"Get off the stream, please. Im begging you. Brenda is throwing a huge fit at home because of this."

My nose stung. I quickly lowered my head and chewed on the chicken.

Then, another account sent fifteen thousand dollars. A DM followed.

"Joy, its Brenda."

"Listen to me, sweetie, stop the stream. The relatives are all pointing fingers at me, saying I'm a horrible stepmother to you."

"Your dad and I made some good money in business these past two years. If you need money, just ask me."

The chat was still flying by.

"Joy finally got some sugar daddies! You made it, girl! *crying emoji*"

"Why is Joy crying?"

I touched my face. It was wet.

Just as I was about to speak, the door to the streaming room was kicked open.

I turned around and saw my mom standing at the entrance.

She was panting, her face bright red. Two staff members from my agency were behind her, trying to stop her but too afraid to grab her.

"Mom, you..."

She lunged forward and slapped me across the face. "When did you get back in touch with that cheating bastard?"

"Huh? I raised you all these years, and you crawl back to him the second he throws some petty cash at you?"

I held my burning cheek and looked at her. "Mom, I didn't contact him..."

Another slap.

"Is that homewrecker Brenda there too? Did you call her 'Mom' yet?"

I tried to speak, but she slapped me again.

The live stream chat went completely chaotic.

My mom grabbed me by my collar, dragging me in front of the camera, and screamed, "Look at this! This is the wonderful daughter I raised!"

"Her dad cheated and abandoned us years ago. Now he comes back, throws a few dollars at her, and shes wagging her tail like a dog to call him Daddy!"

"And the homewrecker is here too! A happy little family reunion! What about me? What am I to her?"

"She would rather give all her money to their new family than stay and take care of her own mother!"

The chat was going insane.

"Is this scripted or real?"

"Wait, the big donor is her cheating dad?"

"Stop hitting her!"

The agency staff finally ran in to pull her away. My mom broke free, pointing at the camera and screaming, "Richard, you absolute piece of trash!"

"Why are you acting like a saint now?"

"And you, Brenda! You actually have the nerve to show up? You stole another womans husband. Youll burn in hell!"

Suddenly, the screen went black. The tech team had cut the stream.

I stood there, my face burning, my ears ringing.

My mom stood there panting, adjusting her clothes, and gave me a venomous look.

I knew that look.

That was the exact look she gave the pig when she beat it.

The door pushed open, and Sarah, the operations director, walked in.

She looked at my mom, then at me. Her expression was incredibly grim.

"Joy, come to my office."

I followed Sarah into her office.

She closed the door and pointed to a chair. "Sit."

"I've heard some things about your family." She poured a glass of water and set it in front of me. "It must be hard."

I didn't say anything.

"But business is business. What happened today is terrible for the company's image."

"Joy," her voice softened, "take a week off."

"Go home and sort out your family issues."

"The company employs a lot of people. We cant let one persons personal life ruin the entire business. You understand, right?"

I raised my head to speak, but she waved her hand.

"I know its not your fault." She paused. "The cleaning lady told me she saw you throwing up blood in the restroom. More than once. I know about your health."

She pulled a card out of her drawer and slid it across the desk.

"This is for the medical center our company partners with. Go get checked out."

"Health comes first. You can always make money later."

I looked at the card, my eyes welling up with tears.

"Thank you..."

Suddenly, the door burst open. My mom was standing there.

"Director, I am so sorry, so sorry. I was just too emotional."

She bowed slightly, rubbing her hands together nervously. "I have a bad temper, and when I get anxious, I lose control. Im so sorry for causing trouble."

Sarah didn't say a word.

My mom rushed over and grabbed my arm.

"Joy, quick, get down on your knees and apologize to the director."

I didn't move.

She yanked me, but I remained still. The fake smile on her face stiffened.

"This child, she is so stubborn." She smiled apologetically at Sarah. "Director, please don't mind her. Shes never known how to behave. Ill teach her a lesson when we get home."

I used the desk to pull myself up.

My stomach suddenly cramped violently. The pain was so intense that my vision blurred.

I gripped the edge of the desk, my palms dripping with cold sweat.

"Mom..."

"What are you whining for?" She glared at me. "Apologize right now!"

"Do you want to lose your job? If you lose this job, how are you going to support me?"

Sarah ignored my mom, rushed over to me, and held my shoulders. "Joy? Joy, are you okay?"

My mom sneered, "Director, don't worry about her. Shes just acting. She always pulls this 'I don't feel well' card."

"Shes been like this since she was a kid. Whenever I asked her to do chores, shed suddenly have a headache or a stomachache..."

"Actually, Director, if we put this family drama online, it would generate a ton of traffic, wouldn't it?"

I stared at her.

Her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear the words. Everything in front of me began to fade into a dark haze.

I reached out, desperately grabbing my moms wrist.

She looked down at me.

"Mom... I just want to ask you one thing..."

"What now?"

"Are you proud of me?"

"Can you... just once... tell me I did good?"

She looked at me, blinking. "Of course I am!"

I stared at her, thinking I had finally gotten what I wanted.

The next second, she shook off my hand and muttered, "Look, our pig back home is named Joy. We fatten it up to sell it for cash. You eat to make money. In my eyes, youre both the same. Youre both my pride and joy."

I let out a hollow laugh.

She frowned. "What are you laughing at?"

The taste of copper rushed up my throat.

Before I could even lower my head, I opened my mouth and sprayed a fountain of blood right onto her face.

My mom froze. The dark red blood dripped down her chin.

Her face turned deathly pale.