He Let Her Stand Where I Belonged

For our college graduation trip, my boyfriend, Justin, my best friend, Hailey, and I went to the Swiss Alps.

By the lake at the foot of the mountain, an elderly Swiss couple walked over with warm smiles. In broken English, they offered to take our picture.

The old lady pulled Justin and Hailey toward the wooden railing, gesturing for them to lean their heads together.

Then she waved at me, handing my phone back to me.

"You take the shot, sweetie. The light is perfect."

I held up my phone, framed the two of them looking so perfect together, and pressed the shutter.

Justin didn't say a word.

Hailey took the phone, glanced at the screen, and smiled.

"Great shot. Let's do another one."

Later, when we checked into our chalet resort, the receptionist glanced at the reservation and handed the key card for the king-size double room to Justin and Hailey.

A single room key was pushed toward me.

"This lady's room is at the very end of the third floor."

I said, "I'm actually his girlfriend."

The receptionist froze for two seconds, then looked down to re-check the booking sheet.

Back in my room, I soaked in the tub alone, listening to the muffled laughter leaking through the wall from the next room.

During our three-day trip, we were mistaken for the wrong couple four times.

I was treated like a third wheel seven times, and a personal photographer eleven times.

How many times did Justin set them straight?

Zero.

I sat on the bed wrapped in a bathrobe, opened my United Airlines app, and rebooked my flight back to New York for the day after tomorrow.

The end of my graduation trip didn't have to be the peak of the Alps.

"Chloe, can you take a picture of Justin and me? That backlit angle you found earlier was amazing."

Hailey shoved her phone into my hand. Her freshly done French tips caught the morning sun.

I took the phone and said nothing.

This was the third time today.

During the forty-minute Uber ride from the hotel to the base of the mountain, they sat together in the back while I sat alone in the front seat.

The driver asked me in Swiss-German, "Your friends are so sweet together, aren't they?"

I understood him. I just smiled and didn't translate it for them.

"A little to the left. Yes! Justin, don't move. The light on your face is gorgeous."

Hailey rested her hand on Justin's shoulder, tilting her head to smile at the lens.

Justin glanced at me, his lips twitching, but in the end, he said nothing.

Click.

I handed the phone back.

Hailey swiped through her screen and suddenly frowned. "Chloe, you made my chin look kind of round."

"Let's do another one. Squat down lower this time so my face looks smaller."

I crouat down.

My knees scraped against the rough cobblestone path. It stung.

In the viewfinder, Justin finally spoke up.

"Hailey, that's enough."

Hailey playfully slapped his arm, acting cute. "Just one more, please?"

She turned to me, her voice bubbly. "You don't mind, right, Chloe? I'm just used to you taking my photos. You're seriously the best."

I said, "It's fine."

I had said those words at least fifty times over the last three days.

It's fine, you guys go ahead, I'll grab my bag.

It's fine, you guys order, I'm not picky.

It's fine, one room is enough, I'll sleep on the couch.

It's fine.

At lunch in a cozy Alpine chalet, the waiter brought over our food. Naturally, he placed the cheese fondue for two right between Justin and Hailey.

My mushroom risotto was placed in front of me.

Hailey didn't even notice. She leaned in, sharing the long fondue fork with Justin, dipping bread into the cheese, taking bite after bite.

I cut into a potato and chewed slowly.

It tasted like nothing.

In the afternoon, we went to a little chapel in the Lauterbrunnen valley.

Outside, there was a stand with wooden wish tags for tourists to hang.

Hailey finished writing her wish and excitedly held it up for Justin.

"Justin, look! I wrote: 'I hope we can travel together like this every year!'"

She stopped herself, letting go of Justin's arm, and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Haha, don't think too much, Chloe. I just think this place is so romantic."

Justin gently let her hand drop, but his movement was slow.

I looked down at my own wooden tag.

It had only one sentence:

Hope to learn how to let go.

I hung it in the darkest, most unnoticeable corner.

On the way back to the resort, Hailey walked in the middle, arm in arm with Justin on one side and me on the other.

Passing a souvenir shop, she stopped, pointing at a pair of matching cowbell keychains in the window.

"Justin, buy those! One for each of us. They're so cute."

Justin asked, "For whom?"

Hailey said, as if it were obvious, "For you and me, duh! And I'll buy Chloe two snowflake keychains so we can have bestie matches."

I looked at the cowbells.

One red, one blue, engraved with Swiss Alps.

Justin paused, his eyes drifting toward me.

I spoke first.

"You guys get them. I'm going to the convenience store next door for some water."

As I turned away, I heard Hailey's cheerful voice behind me.

"Thanks, Chloe! You're the best!"

The AC in the store was freezing. I stood in front of the drinks, looking at my blurry reflection in the glass door.

My phone buzzed. It was a Snapchat from Justin.

"Are you okay?"

One sentence.

His first private message to me in three days.

I stared at the flashing cursor, typed a response, deleted it, and finally sent the words he always heard.

"I'm fine."

Hailey had already clipped the blue cowbell onto Justin's backpack zipper.

The red one was on her own purse, swaying right next to her designer lipstick.

Back at the resort that night, Hailey said she was heading to the hotel's spa.

"Chloe, you coming?"

"No, I'm a bit tired."

"I'll go by myself then. Justin, grab me a towel, will you?"

Justin agreed, grabbing a towel, and walked down the hallway with her.

I stood at my door and swiped my key card.

Third floor, end of the hall, single room. The window faced the parking lot.

I sat on the bed and opened my camera roll.

One hundred and twenty-seven photos.

Eighty-nine of Justin and Hailey.

Zero of Justin and me.

I closed the gallery and opened the airline app.

When the confirmation pop-up appeared, I tapped "Confirm."

My phone buzzed again. It was Hailey in our Snapchat group chat.

"Tomorrow, Jungfraujoch! Chloe, can you take some snowy mountain photos for us? I need something to post on Instagram!"

I put my phone down and turned off the light.

In the dark, footsteps and hushed giggles echoed from the hallway. They were back from the spa.

A door clicked next door.

Then, silence.

A long, suffocating silence.

"Chloe, how about this one today?"

The next morning, Hailey pushed my door open, holding two jackets.

One was her white windbreaker, and the other was Justin's dark blue North Face jacket.

"I think wearing Justin's jacket would make the photos look more aesthetic. You know, like boyfriend-style. What do you think?"

She quickly added, "Oh, I mean, the colors just match better."

I sat under the duvet, my hair messy, looking at her.

"You look good in anything."

I meant it.

Hailey was five-foot-six, with long, wavy hair, a perfect oval face, and dimples when she smiled.

In college, guys lined up from the dorms to the library to ask her out.

And me? I was five-foot-three, short hair, round face, the kind of girl they called "plain."

The kind of girl no one noticed at first glance.

"You're always the sweetest!"

Hailey sat on the edge of my bed, naturally picking up my hairbrush to brush her hair.

Her own hair, of course.

"By the way, Chloe, we're going to Jungfraujoch today. Can you bring your telephoto lens? I read online that it makes the snowy mountains look incredible."

I said, "That lens is really heavy."

"It's fine, you're strong!"

She checked her reflection in my vanity mirror, satisfied, and zipped up Justin's jacket.

The oversized dark blue jacket swamped her. The sleeves hung past her hands, so she rolled them up, showing her slender wrists.

"I'm heading down for breakfast. Justin's probably already in the dining area."

The door shut.

I slowly got dressed, stuffed the heavy lens into my backpack, the straps digging into my shoulders.

When I walked downstairs, I saw Justin and Hailey sitting opposite each other by the window.

Two coffees and two plates of American breakfast sat on the table.

I walked over and sat down.

Justin looked up.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I didn't order for you."

Hailey chimed in, "Chloe, your taste is so hard to guess. Every time we ask, you just say 'whatever.'"

I said, "It's fine. I'll get it myself."

Walking to the buffet, I found the hot food was almost gone. Only cold toast and tiny butter packets remained.

I brought two slices of toast back.

Justin looked at my plate and frowned.

"Is that all you're eating?"

"It's enough."

Hailey reached over and picked up a piece of bacon from her plate.

"Here, let me share."

But instead of putting it on my plate, she dropped it onto Justin's.

"Oops, wrong plate! Justin, you give it to Chloe."

Justin paused for a second, then pushed the bacon toward me.

I didn't touch it.

On the cogwheel train up to Jungfraujoch, I sat in a single window seat in the back.

Two rows ahead, Hailey and Justin sat shoulder-to-shoulder, sharing a pair of AirPods.

She giggled occasionally, turning back to me.

"Chloe, you have to listen to this song, it's so good!"

But she never offered me the other earbud.

At the viewing deck, the wind was howling.

I trailed behind them, carrying the heavy camera bag, watching them stand side-by-side.

Hailey wore Justin's jacket, her hair blowing wildly in the wind.

Justin reached out, gently tucking her stray hair behind her ear.

The gesture was effortless.

Like he'd done it a thousand times.

I took out my camera.

Nobody asked me to take a photo.

But I knew Hailey would turn around in a second.

Three.

Two.

One.

"Chloe! Quick, take a picture! The Alps look stunning from here!"

The shutter clicked four times.

As I lowered the camera, a tourist carrying a hiking backpack walked over and asked me in English if I was a professional photographer.

I blinked.

He pointed to the heavy camera around my neck and the bulky bag.

"You look like a professional."

I smiled bitterly and said I was just their friend.

He nodded politely, though a flicker of confusion crossed his eyes, and walked away.

Justin heard him.

He looked at me, his lips parted.

I waited three seconds.

He said nothing.

Hailey laughed.

"Haha, Chloe, look how professional you look! Even tourists think you're our photographer."

"You should seriously do travel photography. I'll be your first client."

The wind carried her voice away, but every word hit me with crystal clarity.

I raised the camera again.

In the viewfinder, the snow-capped peaks of the Alps gleamed a blinding silver under the sun, glaciers stretching into the horizon.

My fingers, however, were freezing, almost numb from the biting mountain wind.

"Chloe, have you noticed Justin acting kind of weird around me lately?"

The night we got back from the mountain, Hailey showed up at my door in her silk pajamas.

She held two cups of hot cocoa from the vending machine, her face wearing a look of carefully crafted distress.

I let her in.

She sat cross-legged on my bed, took a sip of cocoa, and sighed.

"Like... he keeps looking at me, but he doesn't say anything. Sometimes when I joke with him, he just smiles and stays quiet."

She looked up at me, her eyes slightly red. "Do you think he has feelings for me?"

I took a sip of my cocoa. It was scalding hot.

"He's my boyfriend."

Hailey blinked, as if suddenly reminded of something, and waved her hands in a panic.

"I know, I know! That's not what I meant! I'm just... confused."

"Should I keep my distance from him? But we've always been like this. If I change suddenly, he'll think it's weird, right?"

Always.

The word sounded so casual coming from her, but it felt heavy in my ears.

Hailey and Justin grew up together in the same neighborhood, going to the same schools from kindergarten through high school.

They parted ways for three years in college, only to end up together again right before graduationbecause of me.

In our sophomore year, Hailey transferred to my school and became my roommate.

She was bubbly, gorgeous, and sweet to everyone.

She was the one who told me that a guy named Justin from the other department was always looking at me. She was the one who passed my notes to him. On the day we made it official, she posted on Instagram: "My roomie is finally taken!"

And then, she and Justin reunited.

Then, everything became natural.

Dinners for three, study sessions for three, trips for three.

I never thought it was a problem.

Until this trip.

"Chloe, you're not mad, are you?" Hailey leaned in, grabbing my hand. Her palm was damp.

Her voice was soft, laced with a delicate, pleading tone.

But when I looked into her eyes, there was no anxiety. Only calculation.

Confirming that I wouldn't get mad. Confirming that I was still the same Chloe who always said "it's fine."

"No."

When I said those words, I suddenly remembered what the tourist had asked me.

Are you their photographer?

Yeah. What was I to them?

"That's a relief!" Hailey let out a sigh of relief, throwing herself backward onto my bed.

"Oh, tomorrow is our last day. I want to go to the music box museum by Lake Brienz. Can you look up the route for me?"

I said okay.

After she left, I didn't look up any routes.

I opened my airline app and checked my flight details for tomorrow.

2:15 PM, Zurich to JFK.

I wondered how long it would take them to realize I was gone.

My phone buzzed. It was Justin.

"Are you asleep?"

I stared at the text for a while.

What did he want to say?

Yesterday it was "Are you okay?" Today it was "Are you asleep?"

In four days, he hadn't spoken more than ten sentences to me on his own.

But with Hailey, I had witnessed at least fifty conversations today alone.

I didn't reply.

Three minutes later, another message came in.

"We're going to the music box museum tomorrow. Do you want to go?"

We.

I didn't know if that "we" included me.

But I knew that at the museum tomorrow, it would only be him and Hailey.

I typed out: "I want to sleep in tomorrow. You guys go ahead."

Send.

He replied instantly: "Okay, get some rest. Do you need me to bring you anything?"

Almost on instinct, I typed: "No, thanks."

Then I added: "Have fun."

The chat went silent.

I turned off my screen, and the room fell back into darkness.

In the distance, the faint sound of fireworks echoed, briefly lighting up a corner of my ceiling.

I remembered when Justin and I first started dating in freshman year. He would walk twenty minutes in the rain just to save a seat for me in the library.

He would give me his only umbrella and walk back to his dorm soaking wet.

He would call me at exactly midnight on my birthday, and his first words were always: "Chloe, you're a year older now."

What happened to that Justin?

Then Hailey came.

His attention began to drift, like water flowing around a pebble, naturally carving a new path.

It wasn't a sudden, violent change. Just a gradual shift.

A millimeter at a time.

So subtle that I almost convinced myself it was normal.

He gave me less and less, but he never cut me off completely.

Occasionally, he would still hold my hand, say goodnight, and ask "Are you okay?"

So I kept telling myself: He still loves me. They're just friends.

Just friends.

But friends don't wear each other's jackets. They don't share AirPods. They don't tuck each other's hair back in the wind.

And they don't let their partner be treated like an outsider over and over again.

My flight was at 2:15 PM tomorrow.

I wasn't going to say goodbye.

"Miss, would you like your breakfast delivered to your room?"

When the hotel maid knocked, I had already packed my bags.

Not much. Just a carry-on and a backpack.

My camera and the heavy lens were packed at the very bottom of the suitcase, pressed flat beneath a dress I hadn't worn.

That dress was one Hailey had forced me to buy before we left.

She had said, "Chloe, you need to dress up. These graduation photos are going to last a lifetime."

In the end, she picked out a floral dress that cost 0-080.

I hadn't hesitated to pay because she said it looked good on me.

Four days had passed, and I hadn't worn it once.

Because there were no photos of me.

I ate a few bites of toast, then pushed the tray outside my door.

I checked the time. 8:30 AM.

Justin and Hailey should have checked out and left by now.

Sure enough, a string of messages popped up in our group chat from fifteen minutes ago.

Hailey: "Chloe~ We're heading out! Enjoy your sleep-in!"

Hailey: "I'll bring you back a cute music box souvenir tonight!"

Justin didn't say anything in the group chat.

But five minutes later, he sent me a private text: "I'll come find you this afternoon."

I stared at that message for a long time.

By the time you come back this afternoon, this room will already be checked out.

I didn't reply.

I dragged my suitcase downstairs. The receptionist was the same man who had handed over the wrong key card the first day.

Seeing me alone with my bags, he asked in English, "Where are your friends? Do you need a cab?"

"Yes, please."

As I settled the bill, he asked if he should notify my friends.

I said, "No need."

The cab arrived quickly.

The moment I got in, I took one last look at the chalet resort.

The wooden entrance swayed in the wind.

Over the past three days, I had walked through those doors countless times, always bringing up the rear.

Goodbye.

Ten minutes into the ride, my phone rang.

It wasn't Justin, and it wasn't Hailey.

It was my mom.

"Chloe, are you having fun?"

I said, "Yeah, it's nice."

"Send me some photos! I want to see you and Justin together."

I paused for two seconds.

"I'll send them next time."

I hung up. Outside, the highway was flanked by rolling green fields and scattered cottages, the Alps shrinking in the rearview mirror.

I reached Zurich Airport at noon.

Security, waiting, boarding.

I didn't receive a single message the entire time.

Justin and Hailey were probably still in the music box museum, taking photos that didn't require me to press the shutter.

I took my window seat in economy class and buckled my seatbelt.

Next to me, an elderly couple sat. The husband helped his wife adjust her seatbelt, and she patted his hand gently.

I turned my face toward the window.

At takeoff, the ground fell away, and the buildings and trees shrank into tiny models.

I switched my phone to airplane mode, the last message still lingering on the screen.

"I'll come find you this afternoon."

The captain announced the flight time.

In a few hours, I would land in a different city.

This trip was over.

I closed my eyes as the plane pierced through the clouds.