The Day I Stopped Looking for Them

I was born with a terrible sense of direction. Not only do I get lost easily, but I can't tell north from south.

Sasha refused to believe it. She claimed she would cure my bad habit.

She even dragged Julian, my foster brother, and Ethan, my childhood neighbor, into her special training.

Once, on a trip, they got off the train early and left me alone at the subway station.

Another time, at the mall, they slipped out of a different exit without saying a word.

They left me wandering like a headless chicken, desperately searching for them.

They called it "helping me find my way."

Today, during dinner, I went to the restroom.

When I came back, all three of them were gone.

Even the table had been completely cleared.

I wanted to call them.

But when I reached into my pocket, I remembered I had handed my phone to Sasha earlier.

I went to the front desk. The hostess handed me a note Sasha had left.

It had only two sentences.

"We've walked this path with you twice. I know you've memorized it by now. Go, Chloe!"

"The three of us are waiting for you at home."

Suddenly, I found this "training" incredibly boring.

Honestly, what's so bad about having a poor sense of direction?

As long as I have Google Maps, I can find my way without anyone else.

It was already evening when I got home.

The three of them were sitting in the living room, eating ice cream and watching a movie.

Sasha looked up and saw me walk in.

She smirked victoriously at the other two.

"I told you Chloe would make it home before seven."

"You guys lost. You have to let me plan our entire trip next month."

"Besides, since your term papers are basically done, it's fine if we head back to campus a few days late."

Julian clicked his tongue.

"Chloe, did you team up with Sasha to play us?"

"Last time at the mall, it took you four hours to get back."

"This time, it didn't even take you two."

Julian was my foster brother. My dad took him in when we were kids.

His parents had a nasty divorce when he was in second grade, and neither of them wanted him.

Growing up, my biggest wish was for my parents to give me an older brother.

So, after making sure his mother really had abandoned him, I begged my parents to let him stay.

At first, my dad didn't agree. He tried to reason with me.

"Chloe, he's a human being, not a stray puppy. We can't just take him in."

But Julian swore right in front of them that he would be the best brother to me.

Seeing that the poor kid didn't even have a warm meal to eat, my dad finally relented and took him in.

And now, he had become Sasha's "brother."

"Exactly. Be honest, Chloe. Did Sasha leave you hints?"

The speaker was Ethan, my next-door neighbor.

We grew up together.

When we were kids, our parents used to joke that we were destined to marry each other. Ethan took it to heart.

Knowing I had no sense of direction, he would wait for me every day after school to walk home together.

Before Sasha showed up, from first grade to junior year of high school, we walked hand-in-hand for ten years.

He had even promised me, "As long as I'm here, you'll always find your way home."

But lately, he was the one who abandoned me the most.

"I knew you two would make excuses for losing," Sasha said, tossing my phone onto the coffee table.

"That's why I took Chloe's phone in advance. Now you have to admit defeat."

The smile on Julian's face stiffened.

"Why didn't you tell us you were going to do that?"

Ethan's expression darkened too.

"What if something happened to Chloe? We wouldn't even have been able to reach her."

Sasha looked confused and annoyed.

"What is wrong with you two?"

"Didn't we agree to train Chloe together? You're betraying the team."

Julian paused before speaking up.

"Well, Chloe's home safe, so let's drop it."

"But don't take her phone again next time."

Ethan remained quiet for a moment, then walked over to me.

He grabbed my hands, checking me over to make sure I was okay. Only then did he let out a sigh of relief.

"Sasha meant well. Don't be mad at her."

"Julian left some watermelon in the fridge for you. I'll go get it."

"No, thanks."

I grabbed my phone from the table and headed straight for my bedroom.

"I'm tired. I want to rest."

Sasha froze, turning to Julian.

"Is Chloe mad at me?"

She looked a bit embarrassed and stood up to leave.

"Maybe I should go. She probably doesn't want to see me right now."

Ethan followed her.

"It's late. It's not safe for you to walk home alone. I'll drive you."

"I can drive her too," Julian chipped in, not wanting to be left out. He quickly grabbed his shoes.

Ethan pushed him back inside.

"Come on, Sasha's place is on my way. You live here, so there's no need for you to go."

Julian glared at him. "Stop making excuses. You live next door. How is that on your way?"

How ridiculous.

Both of my childhood protectors were fighting over who got to drive her home.

Yet, neither of them had asked me...

How a girl with no phone and a horrible sense of direction had managed to find her way back on her own.

In the end, they forced Julian to stay behind.

Once I was back in my room, I opened my phone, went to the student portal, and submitted my application for the study abroad program.

At eight, my dad came home and made dinner.

Julian knocked on my door to call me out.

Seeing that I was ignoring him, he sighed.

"Are you still mad at Sasha? You know how she is."

"She might be loud and dramatic, but she really cares about you."

During our junior year of high school, Sasha transferred to our school because of her parents' jobs.

On her very first exam, she blew everyone away, taking my spot in the top three alongside Ethan and Julian.

A classmate who disliked me sneered in my ear.

"Some people act so smug just because they have two guys protecting them. Now look at you. You can't even hold onto third place."

Sasha happened to walk by and heard it. She immediately started a physical fight with the girl.

Both of their parents were called in.

But I was drawn to Sasha's fiercely loyal, no-nonsense personality, and we became best friends.

From then on, our trio became a squad of four.

We even ended up going to the same college.

Until I slowly realized...

I was being pushed out of their world.

Julian pulled the blanket off my head.

"Alright, get up and eat."

My stomach rumbled.

Believing that I shouldn't punish my stomach just because I was upset, I got up to wash my hands and eat.

At the table, Julian casually mentioned, "A new amusement park just opened in town. It has a massive Ferris wheel."

"Sasha invited us to go tomorrow."

I was about to decline when my dad spoke up.

"My coworkers were talking about that place. You should go, Chloe."

"I remember how much you loved Ferris wheels when you saw them on TV as a kid. It's a shame we never had one nearby. I was always too busy with work to take you out of town."

Since my dad put it that way, I swallowed my refusal.

After dinner, our group chat was blowing up.

Sasha was agonizing over what to wear for photos.

She posted several pictures of different outfits.

Julian and Ethan couldn't agree. They had spammed over a hundred messages arguing about which was better.

Finally, Sasha sent an angry voice note.

"Who asked you two? I posted those for Chloe."

Then she added in a softer tone, "Chloe, you're not still mad, right? I promise I'll never do it again."

Ethan replied instantly on her behalf.

"Don't worry, Chloe isn't that petty."

"You helped her with her directional issues. She should be thanking you."

"Right, Chloe?"

Sasha believed him. She kept messaging me to pick the best dress.

Ethan nudged me in the chat. "Don't you think the blue dress suits Sasha perfectly? Even the store clerk praised her when she tried it on."

Julian, sitting next to me on the couch, muttered, "The clerk was just being polite. Ethan is such an idiot to believe them."

"That blue dress makes Sasha look washed out. The yellow one I picked is way better."

"She loved it when she tried it on, too."

"Chloe, we live under the same roof. You have to back me up."

I paused, then asked, "You guys bought those dresses in person?"

"When? Why didn't I know about this?"

Julian was busy replying to Sasha. Without looking up, he said, "At the mall, on the third floor. You were there too. How did you forget so quickly?"

I froze, a self-deprecating smile forming on my lips.

That day at the mall...

I had only gone to grab our boba order. When I came back, they were gone.

So while I was wandering like a headless chicken looking for them, they were busy helping Sasha try on dresses.

No wonder none of them answered my calls or messages.

Julian finally realized what he had just admitted.

His fingers froze on the screen, and a look of embarrassment crossed his face.

"My bad, I misremembered. You weren't there."

"I wanted to call you, but that store only sells dresses, and you don't really wear them."

I didn't say a word. I just stared at him.

He reached out to pat my head, but I flinched away.

"Are you jealous?"

"I'll take you shopping next week and buy you a couple of outfits. How does that sound?"

Maybe because I hadn't replied in the chat for a while, Sasha initiated a group FaceTime call.

I didn't answer.

Julian picked up and handed the phone to me.

"Chloe, why aren't you picking?" Sasha asked. "Is it really that hard?"

Julian whispered next to me, "Just pick one. Otherwise, she'll think you haven't forgiven her, and she won't sleep tonight."

I let out a soft laugh, refusing to give him what he wanted.

"They both look great. Pick whichever you want."

Sasha complained that I was being half-hearted, but when we met at the amusement park entrance the next day, she was wearing the blue dress.

She had chosen Ethan's pick.

A flicker of disappointment crossed Julian's face.

Sasha sent the two guys off to buy drinks and queue up, while she held my hand, walking slowly behind.

"I knew you wouldn't really hold a grudge. After all, we're best friends."

I just smiled and didn't reply.

Since it was opening day, the park was packed. Most people were there for the giant Ferris wheel.

But when it was finally our turn, Ethan and Julian started arguing over who would sit with Sasha.

Ethan said, "You're Chloe's brother. Of course you should sit with her."

Julian retorted stubbornly, "Sasha wore the dress you picked. To be fair, she should sit with me."

The people in line behind us were getting impatient. Some began to grumble.

"Are you guys getting on or what? Go argue somewhere else."

"Are they stupid? Why don't the three of them just share one carriage? Is there really a need to fight?"

The two of them snapped back in unison, "Who wants to sit with him?"

But in the end, the three of them got into one carriage anyway.

Their excuse was that a single carriage would be roomier for me.

So, Julian and Ethan "generously" let me ride alone.

Sasha pressed her face against the glass, looking down at me with puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm so jealous that you get a whole carriage to yourself while I have to squeeze in with these two."

The girl standing behind me in line whispered to her boyfriend, "Is she serious? That's such an obvious, disgusting humble brag."

"Keep your eyes open. That right there is a toxic girl. If you ever fall for that kind of act, I will kill you."

I instinctively looked back at her.

She looked a bit embarrassed and quickly apologized. "Sorry, I was just joking. Don't mind me."

I didn't blame her. After all, she was just telling the truth.

The ticket collector couldn't stand it either. He chimed in kindly, "Don't sweat it, kid. I'll call my son to come over and ride with you. Heck, you can go around twice."

He actually pulled out his phone.

I smiled and waved my hand. "It's fine, thank you. I actually prefer being alone."

When I got off the Ferris wheel, the three of them were gone again.

This time, I didn't panic or look for them.

I calmly pulled out my phone and ordered an Uber home.

My dad was home on his day off. He was surprised to see me back so early.

"Back already? Have you eaten? Where's Julian?"

I didn't answer.

I sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Dad, I want to go on an exchange program abroad next semester. What do you think?"

"Of course. Go see the world while you're young. It's a great opportunity."

"With Julian with you, I'll feel safe."

I shook my head.

"Julian isn't going."

"We're adults now, Dad. We have our own paths. I can't drag him into something he doesn't want to do."

My dad hesitated.

"But you've never traveled far by yourself. Going abroad all of a sudden..."

I quickly explained, "I won't be alone. There are other students from my college going too. I've already made a friend to travel with."

Only then did he reluctantly agree.

Julian didn't get home until evening.

"Chloe, we just went to grab water. Why did you leave on your own?"

I was filling out my study abroad documents and didn't even bother to look up.

"It was too hot. I didn't want to wait."

Once I submitted everything, I noticed our group chat was at 99+ notifications.

They were excitedly discussing what to pack, what sunscreen to buy, car rentals, and local food spots.

I stared at the screen for a moment, then messaged: "Where are you guys going?"

Down the hall, I heard Julian curse.

He rushed into my room.

"We bought tickets for a trip this afternoon... Since you weren't there, we forgot to buy yours."

"Let me see if I can get you a standby ticket right now."

Sasha's voice note played right then.

"Don't bother. Those were the last three tickets available. It's all your fault, you two were arguing in my ear, making me forget the most important thing."

Seeing that they were about to bicker again, I texted:

"No need to look for tickets. It's too hot anyway. I'd rather stay home."

Julian, sitting next to me, let out a quiet sigh of relief and closed the ticketing app.

"Yeah, this summer is brutal. It's fine, I'll take photos for you. If I see any cool souvenirs, I'll bring them back."

The day they left for their trip was the same day I boarded my flight to go abroad.

Before leaving, Julian nagged me.

"Don't eat too much cold stuff. Since Dad's busy, don't buy whole watermelons you can't finish. Oh, and keep the door locked."

Ethan walked down the stairs, smirking.

"Keep playing mother hen. I'm going to meet up with Sasha."

Julian gritted his teeth and followed him out.

I watched their car disappear down the street.

Only then did I roll my suitcase out of my room and head downstairs.

Finally...

I didn't have to be the awkward third wheel in their three-person world anymore.