No Forgiveness In The Snow

We were in the middle of packing our bags for Vienna when Mona suddenly snapped her suitcase shut.

I looked up, confused. She held her phone out to me.

I canceled my study abroad application, she said. I'm staying here to go to college with Tom.

The words hit me like a physical blow. My voice trembled as I asked, "What about me?"

She reached out, her fingers brushing my cheek with the same comforting warmth shed always shown me. "My Jude is so strong. You won't be scared going abroad alone, right?"

"Tom is different. He's fragile. I need to be here for him, or I'll never have peace of mind."

A cold chill ran down my spine. My fingers clenched around the handle of my suitcase.

Monas voice sounded distant, as if drifting through a thick fog.

"You and Tom are like brothers. You wouldn't want him to be alone here either, right?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could make a sound, glowing lines of text began to float across my vision.

[Here it is. The turning point of their lives.]

[If the male lead forces her to go abroad with him, Tom will get bullied at school and eventually jump off a building.]

[But if he agrees, Mona will slowly fall for Tom over time. Shell even sleep with him on her wedding day with Jude!]

The words choked the breath right out of my throat.

Mona nudged my shoulder. "Jude? If you're not saying anything, I'll take that as a yes."

Mona probably never intended to give me a choice anyway.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box.

When she opened it, my heart sank. Inside was the exact ring I had texted her about weeks ago, telling her how much I loved it.

She had promised back then to save it in her notes.

"I bought the ring you wanted," she said, her voice soft. "Wear it, and everyone will know you're taken."

"That way, no one else can eye my Jude. When you come back from Europe, we'll get married, okay?"

She leaned down to look me in the eye.

Her gaze was tender, full of the same devotion I had known for years.

Usually, when she looked at me like that, my heart would race. But this time, it gave one erratic thud and went completely quiet.

As Mona reached to slip the ring onto my finger, the phantom comments flickered back to life across my eyes.

[She shouldn't have gone into pre-med. She should have gone into acting.]

[Who would believe she was wrapping Tom in a warm, tearful embrace just an hour ago, and now she's standing here playing the devoted girlfriend?]

An hour ago.

I had waited outside Mona's house for three hours. She told me she was stuck in traffic.

Turns out, she was with Tom.

My fingers involuntarily curled inward, slipping away from the ring she held.

A frown creased her beautiful forehead. She opened her mouth to speak, but her ringtone cut her off.

The custom ringtone I had recorded for her had been replaced by a different tuneone she had set for Tom.

The cheerful beat pounded against my eardrums like a hammer, making it hard to breathe.

Mona tapped the screen and answered.

It was him.

She listened for barely a second before leaping to her feet, panic written all over her face.

"Don't panic! Stay exactly where you are, I'm coming!"

She hung up and didn't look at me again.

Tossing the ring carelessly into my lap, she spoke in a breathless rush. "Tom got scraped by a car. I have to go check on him."

She ran out of the room, her hurried footsteps fading down the hall.

I watched her go.

The ring had bounced off my lap and rolled onto the floor, disappearing somewhere in the shadows.

[Isn't he going to look for it? He used to treasure that ring so much.]

I slowly tried to stand, but my legs had gone completely numb from kneeling. I stumbled, collapsing back onto the floor.

My knee slammed against the sharp edge of the desk. The pain was the final catalyst; the tears I had been holding back finally spilled over.

I don't know how long I sat there crying, until the room was completely silent and my throat was raw.

I pulled out my phone and called my dad.

"Dad, I don't want to go to Europe anymore."

My dad sounded confused. "I thought you and Mona had it all planned out. Why the sudden change?"

The comments flared up again.

[Wait, is the male lead staying too?]

[Actually, that might be for the best. If he stays, Tom won't get hurt, and Mona won't stray.]

I let my eyes scan the words. My eyes were red and swollen, but my face felt entirely blank.

"I'm not staying, Dad. I want to come to Iceland. Didn't you want me to move out there and live with you?"

There was a beat of silence on the other end, followed by my dad's ecstatic cheer.

The floating texts seemed as stunned by my choice as he was. They went entirely silent, like someone had hit pause.

I didn't look for the ring.

The empty velvet box sat lonely on the desk, weighing down the European travel itinerary Mona had spent six months putting together.

Her notebook was packed with detailed schedules and handwritten notes.

On my way out, I grabbed it.

Mona wouldn't be needing it anymore anyway.

When I reached the street, I threw the notebook and the empty box into a roadside trash can.

As I turned around, my eyes met Mona's.

Her gaze lingered on the trash can for a split second before she marched up to me and grabbed my hand.

I tried to pull away, but her grip was tight. I frowned. "I thought you were with Tom. Why are you back?"

Her frown was deeper than mine. "He's fine."

"But he heard we were both leaving and got so upset he went to a bar to drink himself into a stupor."

"I told him I was staying, but he wouldn't believe me. You need to come tell him. He always listens to you."

She dragged me forward, but I dug my heels in and forced her to stop.

"Where is he?"

"At the bar"

Mona turned around impatiently, but her voice died in her throat.

A sudden wave of guilt and pity washed over her face.

"I'm sorry, Jude. I forgot."

"Wait for me at the convenience store across the street, okay? I'll bring him out to you."

Once we reached the storefront, Mona shoved a warm cup of milk tea into my hands and rushed across the street.

The rising steam from the cup blurred her silhouette through the glass window.

After our high school graduation, Tom had insisted on going to a bar.

Halfway through the night, he went to the restroom and never came back.

Mona, worried sick, left me alone at our table to go search for him.

She was gone for two hours.

I tried calling both of them, but neither answered. When I finally decided to leave, a group of drunk guys blocked my path.

Fortunately, I ran into some classmates from school who got me out.

When I finally stumbled out of the bar, shaking, I saw Mona carrying Tom on her back, walking slowly down the street.

When she saw me, she didn't ask if I was okay. She just put her index finger to her lips.

Shh. Don't wake Tom.

I should have found it strange back then.

Mona had always complained about Tom following me around like a lost puppy.

And Tom always acted like Mona wasn't good enough for me.

They supposedly couldn't stand each other.

I had no idea when their relationship had shifted.

But seeing her carry him that nightwith a gentleness usually reserved for fragile porcelaintold me everything.

By the time the two familiar figures approached the convenience store, my milk tea had gone cold.

The chime of the entrance door rang out.

Tom draped an arm over my shoulder, acting as clingy and affectionate as ever.

"Jude, please don't abandon me."

Before I could speak, Mona tapped his forehead with her finger.

"Oh, please. I'm staying here with you. Isn't that enough to make you happy?"

Tom immediately lunged at her, laughing and play-fighting.

Their laughter filled the small convenience store.

I sat there, looking like an intruder who had stumbled into their private world. Completely out of place.

[What do they mean 'developed feelings over time'? I bet she already has feelings for Tom right now.]

[But when Jude went abroad in the original timeline, she flew to Europe every two weeks. If she didn't love him, how could she do that?]

[She loves them both!]

Those words felt like a stone dropped into a quiet pond, sending ripples of unease through my chest.

I rubbed my tired, stinging eyes.

They immediately noticed and crowded around me with concerned faces.

Tom glanced at the cold cup in my hand.

"It's freezing. Let me get you a hot one."

"But Jude, since when do you drink this flavor?"

Beside him, Mona froze.

She realized it too. That was Tom's favorite flavor, not mine.

When Tom returned and pressed a fresh, hot cup into my hands, I forced a smile.

"We're about to go our separate ways. I guess I'm just distracted and sad."

Tom pouted.

"I'm the one who should be sad. Both of you are leaving me behind."

In my peripheral vision, I saw Mona shoot me a look.

There was a trace of irritation in her voice as she said, "Didn't I say..."

I cut her off.

"Didn't Mona say she's staying here to keep you company?"

On the walk back, Mona kept a deliberate distance, trailing a few paces behind me.

Only when we reached the fork in the road did she hesitate and speak.

"Are you mad at me for staying with Tom?"

She had been acting off since we left the store.

Now I knew why.

Seeing that I didn't seem to care whether she went abroad or not had made her anxious.

I nodded, answering honestly. "I was angry at first."

"But you're right. I'm strong. Tom needs someone more than I do."

In truth, I wasn't brave at all.

I was terrified of the dark. When I was bullied as a child, I never fought back.

It was always Mona who stood in front of me.

She used to call me a coward, but shed smile and promise shed protect me forever.

She hadn't changed. She just chose someone else to protect.

I ignored the swirling emotions in her eyes and turned to leave.

But she grabbed my wrist in a vice grip.

"Where is the ring I gave you?"

Just as I was about to tell her the truth, her phone rang again.

I assumed it was Tom, but when she answered, her expression shifted into something strange as she stared at me.

I frowned. She hung up and stepped closer.

"You're not going to Europe?"

I froze.

Mona crossed her arms, a mocking smile playing on her lips.

"No wonder you weren't angry. You're staying in the country too, aren't you?"

"Jude, wasn't that European music academy your dream school?"

"Throwing away your ambition just for me?"

My bewildered expression slowly faded.

My chest felt hollow. Not painful, just cold.

She had forgotten. My dream school wasn't in Europe; it was in Iceland.

I had only applied to the European school for her.

But none of that mattered now.

Before I could clarify, she cut me off again.

"You didn't even bring the ring. Don't tell me you're jealous because you think there's something going on between me and Tom?"

"You were the one who told me to look out for him, Jude. Since when did you get so petty?"

The sudden accusation left me stunned.

I clenched my fists and looked her dead in the eye.

"Petty?"

"Mona, can you honestly tell me you don't have feelings for Tom?"

A sudden clatter sounded behind us.

Tom stood there, wide-eyed and trembling, holding a dropped bag.

His eyes welled with tears, and his first instinct was to look at me.

"Jude..."

"Don't act like you didn't know," I said, cutting him off.

Tom opened his mouth repeatedly, but no sound came out.

An overwhelming exhaustion washed over me. I just wanted to go home.

But Tom grabbed my sleeve.

"Jude, nothing happened between Mona and me, I swear. Please believe me..."

His eyes were red. He looked just as helpless and pitiful as the day I first met him.

The floating comments buzzed.

[The side character actually cares about the main character, he's just blindly in love with the girl.]

[Please, he's just a manipulative snake. If he really cared about Jude, would he keep playing the victim in front of Mona over and over?]

I sighed.

Before I could speak, Mona stepped between us.

Her face was dark. "Enough, Jude. Stop cornering him."

"If this is all because you want me to go to Europe with you, fine! I'll go! Is that what you want?"

I wanted to tell her no.

I really didn't want that.

But suddenly, a pair of headlights blinded us as an out-of-control car swerved off the road, hurtling toward the sidewalk.

My instinct was to grab Tom and pull him out of the way, but a violent force shoved me aside, separating us.

I was thrown hard against the asphalt.

The last image I saw before blacking out was Mona, desperately throwing her arms around Tom to shield him.

I woke up to the sound of hushed, tense arguing.

Tom's voice sounded fragile, laced with tears.

"We can't do this. I can't betray Jude like this."

Mona's voice was raw and strained.

"Tom, isn't it a bit late for that?"

"If you felt so guilty toward Jude, why did you kiss me the night I ran out to find you?"

My breath hitched in my throat.

The cracks in my heart shattered completely, crumbling into dust.

Through the thin hospital curtain, I saw their silhouettes shift.

Their shadows merged in an intimate, unmistakable embrace.

I dug my fingernails into my palms, numb to the physical pain.

Tom's weak resistance faded into silence.

It only ended when a nurse pushed the door open.

"Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

The two shadows behind the curtain instantly sprang apart.

When Mona stepped out, her shirt was noticeably wrinkled.

I rasped out a quiet, "I'm okay."

The nurse assured me I was luckyonly a fractured leg.

Once she left, Mona's gaze drifted to my cast.

"Does it hurt?"

The guilt and pain on her face looked entirely genuine.

But a wave of intense nausea surged from my stomach, forcing tears to the corners of my eyes.

Mona reached out to wipe them away, but I flinched, pulling my face back.

Her hand froze in midair, and her expression cooled.

"Jude, in a moment like that, I didn't have time to think."

"If you want to blame someone, blame me. Don't take it out on Tom."

She glanced back toward the curtain, her eyes softening.

"He looks up to you more than anyone. No matter what happens between us, don't hate him."

"I'll still go to Europe with you, and I'll keep my promise to marry you. But I will also take care of Tom for the rest of his life."

[Ugh, she wants her cake and eat it too.]

[Is she trying to build a harem? Keep dreaming, sister!]

I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed until tears streamed down my face.

Hearing my laughter, Tom stepped out from behind the curtain, looking utterly lost.

Mona frowned.

"That's enough, Jude. It's settled."

"I'm going to take Tom home first. Ive arranged a private nurse to come help you."

I closed my eyes and turned my face to the wall. I heard the door click shut.

The next day, Tom showed up with a thermos of chicken soup.

He kept his head down, refusing to meet my eyes.

"When did you fall in love with Mona?" I asked quietly.

Toms hand trembled as he poured the soup. It took him a long moment to answer.

"Freshman year? Sophomore year? I don't remember."

"So you used to talk trash about her just to keep me away from her?"

He shook his head quickly.

"No. I genuinely believed she wasn't good enough for you."

I let out a dry, humorless laugh.

"Should I thank you then? For helping me see her true colors."

His eyes reddened, and his hands clenched into tight fists.

"She has her flaws. But to me, she's the best option I'll ever have."

"I'm sorry, Jude."

Before I could process what he meant, he tilted the thermos and poured the steaming hot soup directly over his own arm.

The hospital room door was kicked open.

Mona burst in, throwing a bouquet of roses straight at my face.

The sharp thorns scratched my cheek, and a drop of blood dripped onto the white bedsheets.

She shielded Tom behind her, her eyes blazing with fury.

"Jude! If you have a problem, take it out on me!"

"Tom is your best friend. How could you burn him like this?"

Maybe the sting on my cheek was just too sharp, but the tears finally spilled over.

I swept the remaining soup containers off the bedside table, scattering red rose petals all over the floor.

"Get out!" I screamed. "Both of you, get the hell out!"

For the next month, until my leg healed and I was discharged, neither of them showed up.

Tom sent me daily text messages checking in on me.

Mona, on the other hand, frequently updated her social media.

She was taking Tom on a trip across the country.

I glanced at the photos of them smiling together, then calmly blocked both of their numbers.

Because of that, I never saw the text Mona sent me a month later.

She wrote: Ill pick you up on departure day so we can head to the airport together.

But she had no idea.

By the time she sent that text, I was already on a flight to Iceland.

When the message failed to deliver, Mona stared at the little red exclamation mark on her screen in disbelief.