My Roommate Slandered My Private Life

My roommate, Zach, spent three days parading around half-naked in the background of my video calls.

He even had the nerve to yell, Bro, those abs are insane. Where did you get your personal trainer? Im trying to turn this six-pack into an eight-pack.

Then he secretly tracked down my girlfriend's Instagram and added her.

He started spreading rumors that my private life was a chaotic mess, claiming I was out partying and hooking up every night.

What he didn't know was that my girlfriend, Anna, was one of the top three heiresses of the East Coast elite.

And she was hopelessly, obsessively devoted to me.

How obsessed? Last semester, a girl at the campus coffee shop gave me a free pastry and a flirty smile, and Anna almost bought out the entire franchise just to get her fired.

So, how many rounds do you think Zach is going to survive?

It all started last Wednesday.

I was FaceTimeing Anna that night. She had just hopped out of the shower, her hair still damp, wearing a simple white tank top and smiling at me through the screen.

"Hey, Nate. Did you miss me today?"

Before I could even answer, Zach strolled right past my desk behind me.

Shirtless.

He actually slowed his pace, walking with a bizarre strut that looked like a cross between a runway model and someone dealing with severe constipation.

He made his way to the water dispenser, poured himself a glass, and then conveniently turned around to stretch right in front of my camera.

"Man, today's workout was brutal."

On the screen, Anna blinked. "Nate, what is up with your roommate?"

Before I could say a word, Zach leaned in close to the camera.

"Hey, beautiful!" He grinned like a sketchy salesman. "Your guy here has some insane abs. Where did he get his personal trainer? I'm trying to turn my six-pack into an eight-pack."

I looked down at my chest.

Bro, I was wearing a loose hoodie. What abs could you possibly be seeing?

Anna let out a soft laugh on the other end.

"Really? Yeah, my Nate is pretty amazing."

Zach's eyes lit up.

He actually thought Anna was flirting back. In reality, she just thought he was a complete freak.

After we hung up, I lay in bed scrolling through my phone.

From the top bunk opposite mine, Harvey poked his head out and lowered his voice. "Nate, thats the third time."

"Third time what?"

"The third time Zach has wandered around shirtless behind you during a call," Harvey said, rolling his eyes. "And it only happens when youre FaceTimeing your girl. What a wild coincidence, right?"

I quieted down for a second.

To be honest, I hadn't paid much attention to it before. Im a pretty laid-back guy, and I always assumed roommates didn't play those kinds of petty games.

But now that Harvey mentioned it, I started putting the pieces together.

On Monday, Zach went shirtless and asked, "Hey bro, what body wash is that? Smells incredibly good."

On Tuesday, Zach went shirtless, did twenty push-ups right by my desk, and asked, "Do you think my chest is looking wider?"

And today, he was suddenly complimenting abs I didn't even have.

"What is he trying to pull?" I asked Harvey.

Harvey looked at me like I was the dumbest guy on campus.

"Nate, he's flexing for your girl."

I fell silent.

Seriously? It was that blatant?

I had lived with Zach for two years. We weren't best friends, but we were tight enough. Surely he wouldn't pull something that low.

"You're overthinking it," I said.

Harvey just shook his head and retreated back to his bunk. His expression said everything: You'll see soon enough.

Harvey was right.

The very next day, Anna sent me a text.

"Nate, your roommate just requested to follow me."

I paused. "Zach?"

"Yeah. He said you told him to add me because he had something to pass along."

When did I ever tell him to do that? I didn't even know his Instagram handle.

"I definitely didn't tell him to do that," I replied.

Anna sent back a simple "Aha," followed by a screenshot.

It was Zach's request. The message read: Hey, I'm Nate's roommate. He asked me to add you to tell you something.

I stared at the screen for a solid ten seconds.

Wow.

He was really going for it.

"Did you accept?" I asked.

"Yeah, I did," Anna replied. "So, what is this urgent thing he had to tell me?"

"What did he say?"

Anna sent another screenshot.

Zach: Hey, hope you don't mind me reaching out. Just thought you should know, Nate is a decent guy, but he's kind of a player. Last week I saw him having lunch with this girl from the linguistics department, looking super cozy. Might be nothing, but I thought you deserved to know.

Reading the messages, my blood pressure spiked.

The "linguistics girl" I had lunch with last week was my cousin. She was visiting the campus, so I took her to the dining hall for a quick bite.

Zach had been sitting at the very next table.

He saw us.

But he conveniently chose to ignore the part where I introduced her as my cousin. Or maybe he just didn't hear it because he had his AirPods in.

Either way, going behind my back to tell my girlfriend this was incredibly dirty.

I took a deep breath.

"Anna, that was my cousin. She came to visit last week."

Anna sent a voice note. When I tapped it, her tone was relaxed and amused. "I know, babe. I saw her Instagram post. She uploaded a photo of the two of you with the caption 'Visiting my favorite little cousin.'"

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Then why did you even accept his request?"

She sent another voice note, this time giggling. "I just wanted to see what other stories he could cook up."

I had no words.

"Don't worry, Nate. I'm not stupid," she added. "But your roommate is pretty entertaining. He's got some serious balls."

I figured that would be the end of it. Anna was smart, and she wasn't going to fall for such a cheap trick.

But I underestimated Zach's persistence.

And I severely underestimated Anna's obsession with me.

Over the next three days, Zach sent her nearly a dozen messages, each one more ridiculous than the last.

Hey, Nate didn't come back to the dorm last night. Just thought you should know.

(I was pullng an all-night study session at the library, and Zach literally watched me pack my backpack before I left.)

Anna, I accidentally saw some sketchy texts from other girls on Nate's phone.

(My phone has a passcode. How could he have seen anything? Besides, my inbox consists entirely of Anna and my mom.)

Anna, I really think you deserve better. Nate just isn't on your level.

When that last message popped up, I was actually sitting right next to Anna. She had driven over to campus to see me.

She turned her screen toward me, tapping her manicured nail against Zach's profile picture.

"Look at this, Nate."

I read it. Then I looked at her face.

She was smiling.

But it wasn't a sweet, happy smile. It was the kind of smile a cat gives a mouse right before a toy is about to break.

"Anna, don't get worked up. I'll go talk to him and clear this up."

"Oh, I'm not mad," she said, tilting her head with bright, glittering eyes. "I actually think it's fun."

"Fun?"

"Yeah." She slid her phone away and wrapped her arms tightly around mine. "Someone is trying to steal my boyfriend. It's so exciting."

Looking at her thrilled expression, a cold shiver ran down my spine.

I suddenly remembered something.

Last semester, a girl from another class spoke to me in the dining hall. It was literally two sentences.

"Hey, is anyone sitting here?"

"Thanks."

That was it.

The very next day, that girl's course registration system suffered a massive, inexplicable glitch. All of her selected classes were dropped, and by the time she could re-register, every single popular lecture was completely full.

At the time, I thought it was just bad university software.

But now...

I looked at Anna. She was happily sipping her iced matcha latte, looking completely harmless.

"Anna."

"Yeah, babe?"

"Don't do anything crazy."

She blinked innocently. "What could I possibly do?"

After Anna left, I walked back to the dorm.

Zach was sitting at his desk playing games. When he saw me walk in, he flashed a grin.

"Hey, Nate. Back from your date?"

"Yeah."

"Your girl is gorgeous," he said, his tone sounding incredibly genuine. "You're a lucky guy, bro."

Looking at his smiling face, my mind was a mess.

You stab me in the back, and then act like my best friend to my face.

"Yeah, I am," I muttered.

Zach chuckled and turned back to his monitor.

From the top bunk, Harvey shot me a look that said: Told you so.

I ignored him, lying down on my bed to figure out how to handle this. Honestly, I didn't want to make a scene. We were roommates, and we had another year of living together. Ruining the peace wouldn't do anyone any favors.

I figured Id find a quiet moment to talk to Zach privately and tell him to back off.

But then there was Anna.

I pulled out my phone and texted her: Anna, just ignore Zach. I'll handle him.

She replied instantly: Okay, Nate! followed by three adorable emojis.

It was too sweet. So sweet it made me nervous.

Sure enough, the next morning, I realized what a devoted girlfriend's wrath actually looked like.

When I woke up, Zach's face was completely pale. He was staring at his phone, his brow furrowed deeply.

"What's wrong, man?" Harvey asked.

"My internship..." Zach's voice was trembling. "The HR rep just messaged me. They rescinded the offer."

Harvey gasped. "What? I thought that was a done deal."

"It was!" Zach panicked. "They had me preparing onboarding documents last week. Now theyre saying there's a sudden department restructure and the position is gone."

I lay in bed, pretending to scroll through my phone while my heart did a sudden drop.

No way.

I opened Anna's social media.

Her latest post was from 2:00 AM. It was a photo of a glass of red wine with the caption: Feeling great tonight. Took care of a little errand.

My fingers started to shake.

I opened our chat: Anna, Zach's internship... was that you?

She sent a voice note, her tone sweet and innocent. "What do you mean, Nate? I didn't do anything."

"Are you sure?"

"I swear! I just casually mentioned to my dad that some creep was bothering me, and he made a quick call."

Casually.

A quick call.

Anna's dad, Arthur Sinclair.

The head of one of the most powerful financial empires on the East Coast. A casual word from him could cause an absolute earthquake in the business world.

Zach's internship was at a major tech firm. A firm whose recent funding round was led by a venture capital fund owned by the Sinclair family.

I closed my eyes.

He was doomed.

"Anna, I told you I would handle it."

"I know, and I didn't touch him," she said, her voice sounding slightly pouted. "My dad decided to protect me. That has nothing to do with me."

I sighed.

Sure. Whatever you say.

Zach spent the next two days completely depressed over the lost internship.

But he never linked it to Anna. In his mind, she was just a beautiful college girl from a comfortable background. He assumed he just had terrible luck.

And then, he did something even more foolish.

On Friday night, he posted a photo on his private story.

It was a sneaky photo of me, taken from the side while I was playing games at my desk.

The caption read: Some guys look totally innocent, but they're secretly running a whole harem behind closed doors.

The comments from his circle of friends immediately started rolling in.

Who is it? Call him out!

No way, is that your roommate?

Confirmed player?

Zach replied: If you know, you know. Keeping it quiet.

He didn't block me from seeing the post. But he had blocked Anna.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't know Anna had a burner account. And that burner account was already on his friends list because she had added him with both accounts at the same time.

Zach was completely clueless.

Anna saw every single word.

That night, she called me.

"Nate."

"Yeah?"

"He's calling you a player on his story."

Her voice was calm. Unusually calm.

"I saw it," I said. "It's fine. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Nate."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not happy."

Those three words coming from Anna were more terrifying than any direct threat.

The last time she said she wasn't happy, a guy on the campus forum had posted anonymous lies about me. A week later, his final thesis was flagged for academic dishonesty, and his graduation was delayed by a full semester.

Of course, that might have just been a coincidence too.

"Anna, listen to me..."

"I'll listen to you, Nate," she said softly. "You handle it how you want. But if he does it again, Im not holding back."

"Deal. Give me three days."

"Okay. I'll wait."

The line went dead.

I took a deep breath. Three days. I had to make Zach back off within three days, or Anna was going to make his life a living hell.

The next morning, while Zach was in class, I talked it over with Harvey.

"What are you going to do?" Harvey asked.

"Just lay the cards on the table and tell him to cut the crap."

Harvey shook his head. "Won't work. Guys like him only get bolder when you confront them. He'll just think you're defensive."

"Then what do you suggest?"

Harvey thought for a moment. "Why don't you just have your girl block him and delete him?"

"Anna won't do it," I said with a wry smile. "She said she wants to observe him."

Harvey shivered. "The way she says 'observe' sounds incredibly creepy."

I agreed. But I still had to try a direct conversation first.

That afternoon, Zach returned to the dorm. I closed the door, and Harvey, picking up on the cue, put on his noise-canceling headphones.

"Zach, got a second?"

He was changing his shirt. Hearing me, he paused, then flashed a grin.

"What's up, Nate?"

"About you adding my girlfriend," I said directly. "And the things you've been telling her. I know about all of it."

Zach's smile stiffened for a fraction of a second.

But he recovered instantly, his grin widening.

"Nate, you're taking it the wrong way. I was just chatting with her, checking in on how you guys were doing."

"Checking in?" I stared at him. "Telling her I was out with other girls and calling me a player is checking in?"

Zach shrugged. "I just didn't want her to be kept in the dark, man. Bro code, you know? Just being honest."

"That girl was my cousin."

"Oh," Zach feigned surprise. "Seriously? Well, my bad then. Sorry about that, bro."

He apologized, but his eyes told me he didn't feel a single shred of regret.

"And another thing," I continued. "Take down that post with my photo."

Zach's expression finally shifted.

"Nate, aren't you being a bit paranoid? I didn't even name you in that post."

"The photo is literally of me."

"It's just a casual dorm life pic," he laughed. "If it bothers you that much, I'll be more mindful next time."

He didn't say he would delete it.

I took a slow breath. "Zach, I'm saying this one last time. Stay away from my girlfriend."

The room went silent for a moment.

Zach looked at me, a slow, condescending smile spreading across his face.

"Nate, are you really that insecure? I just had a couple of harmless chats with her and you're already panicking?"

He patted my shoulder.

"Relax, bro. I'd never steal a roommate's girl."

He grabbed his keys and walked out.

Harvey took off his headphones and looked at me.

"You hear that?" I asked.

"Yeah," Harvey said. "He's completely delusional."

I sat back in my chair, staring at the ceiling.

Three days.

Day one was already a bust.