My Fear Was Their Favorite Game

Right before the drop tower launched, my best friend gave my boyfriend a quick look. In perfect sync, he unbuckled his safety harness and ran off with her.

I was left sitting on the ride, completely frozen.

My boyfriend stood in the safe zone, smiling.

Serena said youre too chicken. She said the only way to cure your phobia is to face it head-on, so have fun riding it alone!

The ride shot up. As Serena watched my terrified, ridiculous expression, she burst into hysterical laughter, snapping photos of me with her phone.

My boyfriend said something to her, a helpless smile on his face, before picking her up and hoisting her onto his shoulders so she could get a better angle for her photos.

I couldn't hear his words over the wind, but I could easily guess what he was saying.

"Alright, once you've had your laugh, don't tease her anymore. Chloe is sensitive, she's pathetic enough as it is."

I have always been a coward. We grew up together for twenty years, and this was always their way of "helping me build courage."

When we were kids, Serena purposely threw rocks to attract a stray dog. Ethan carried Serena on his back and climbed up a wall, leaving me to be chased around the yard, sobbing in terror.

In high school, Serena locked me in a room with two creepy older guys who started groping me. She and Ethan stood outside the door, giggling.

...

Every time I shook with fear, it was just entertainment for Serena.

And Ethan would always stand behind her, lazily saying, "Don't do it again next time."

But his "next time" was always just a green light for Serena to find a new way to torment me.

As the drop tower climbed sixty feet into the air, the stomach-churning weightlessness hit me.

But suddenly, I realized I wasn't scared anymore.

When the ride finally hit the ground, two pairs of hands reached out to help me up.

I pushed them both away.

"From now on, I don't need either of you to help me build courage."

Ethan laughed, reaching out to ruffle my hair.

"Did you freeze up, Chloe? Your courage didn't grow, but you look even dumber now."

Serena chimed in, banter rolling off her tongue smoothly.

"Hey, Im willing to take my time to help her get better."

I pressed my lips together, staring at the two of them putting on their little show.

"This isn't helping me. This is bullying."

Serenas smile froze on her face.

"Chloe, thats actually so hurtful. I spend my free time trying to help you, and you call it bullying?"

"Fine! How about I go ride the roller coaster? The one thing Im absolutely terrified of. Would that make us even?"

She turned and started walking toward the roller coaster.

Ethan frowned, glared at me, and grabbed her arm.

"Don't force yourself. You cried last time. Ill go with you."

I just stood there.

Yet, just minutes ago, before we got on the drop tower, Ethan had looked at me and said:

"You can't be this childish, Chloe. It's just an amusement park ride. You don't need someone to hold your hand."

When the roller coaster came to a stop, Serena was buzzing with excitement.

"Having someone ride with you is actually so fun! See, Chloe? It's not even that scary!"

But nobody was riding with me.

Ethan looked at my expressionless face.

"If you're still mad, how about we ride the drop tower with you one more time?"

But this time, they chose the double-seater drop towerthe "Lovers' Express."

It was designed so that the riders had to face each other and hug tightly, or the seats would tilt during the drop.

Engraved on the ride was the slogan: "Give your deepest trust to the one closest to you."

When the operator mentioned they only had room for two, Ethan glanced at me.

"Chloe was pretty freaked out just now. Let's not push her. Serena and I will go."

They laughed and strapped themselves in, facing each other.

It was so strange.

When they wanted a good laugh, I wasn't allowed to be scared.

But now, suddenly, my fear was convenient for them?

I stared at them as they buckled their safety harnesses.

"Ethan, the engagement ceremony in five days? Let's call it off."

Ethans playful expression vanished, replaced by sudden panic.

"Chloe, stop throwing a tantrum! Well talk when I get down!"

Once the ride ended, they chased me all the way to the entrance of my neighborhood.

My mom was sitting outside, chatting with the neighbors.

Seeing me, she frowned. "Whats wrong? Did you have a bad time?"

Serena suddenly walked up, looking incredibly hurt, and wrapped her arm around my moms.

"Mrs. Miller, we were just trying to help Chloe with her anxiety like you asked. But she said I was bullying her, and now she wants to break up with Ethan."

Ethan caught up, adding, "You can't just throw the word 'breakup' around so easily, Chloe."

My moms face darkened instantly.

She grabbed my ear, pinching it hard.

"Calling off the wedding just like that? Who do you think you are?!"

The neighbors started whispering. My moms voice grew louder and harsher.

"This girl is a coward. Ethan and Serena were nice enough to help her, and shes being an ungrateful brat!"

"Do you want to stay a useless loser hiding in this house for the rest of your life?!"

As the neighbors stared and gossiped, my face burned as if I had been slapped.

Ethan stepped in front of me, shielding me slightly.

"Its okay, Mrs. Miller. It doesn't matter if Chloe is like this. Ill protect her."

Hearing this, my mom got even angrier. She dragged me upstairs by my arm.

The moment the front door slammed shut, my tears finally spilled onto the floor.

"Mom, why am I your daughter, but you always believe other people over me?"

My mom let out a cold sneer.

"I gave birth to you. You think I don't know what kind of pathetic creature you are?"

"Ever since you were a kid, youve been terrified of everything. You're nothing like Serena. You can't do anything right... you're just like your spineless father!"

Her words carved into my bones like a knife.

But I wanted to be brave too.

When I was little, money was tight. My mom had high expectations, and she viewed my dads gentle nature as cowardice.

She used to scream at him, saying his weakness was the reason we were poor.

So, she tried to "toughen me up" since I was a toddler.

When I was three and afraid of the dark, she locked me in the dark closet. I cried until I lost my voice. When she finally let me out, she beat me anyway.

When I was afraid of water, she shoved my face into a basin. If I couldn't hold my breath, another beating followed.

She called it "desensitization."

But it only made me more terrified.

Because making a mistake meant punishment, and punishment proved I was useless.

Then, when I was eight, my dad decided he would rather lose custody of me than stay with my mom. He divorced her and left.

From that day on, I didn't dare to do anything wrong.

I was terrified that if I messed up, my mom would abandon me too.

Meanwhile, Serena, who grew up next door, was outgoing, charming, and always knew exactly what to say to please adults.

My mom would always say wistfully, "I wish Serena were my daughter."

My mom pointed toward my bedroom, her voice dripping with disgust. "Go to your room and think about what you did."

"If you leave Ethan, who else is going to do charity work by marrying you?"

She then dialed Serena and Ethans numbers. Her voice instantly softened, sweet and warm.

"Serena, sweetie, Ill make Chloe apologize to you guys. Come over for dinner tonight, okay?"

I leaned against my bedroom door, wiped my tears, and called my friend.

"Lucy, youre leading that volunteer teaching program to the remote mountain school in five days, right? Do you still have an opening?"

"Are you sure, Chloe? That place is totally off-grid. No signal, no Wi-Fi, and there are snakes. Aren't you terrified of snakes?"

"Im not scared."

"But what about your engagement? How are you going to explain this to your mom? Shell skin you alive!"

I gripped my phone tightly.

"Lucy, I want to run away. Just this once, I want to be brave for myself."

Serena and Ethan arrived early, carrying heavy grocery bags.

Ethan came to me first to apologize.

"Chloe, we bought all your favorite foods. Don't be mad anymore, okay?"

I didn't answer.

When dinner was served, the table was covered in Serena's favorites: mashed potatoes with sausage, ratatouille, and red wine braised beef.

Serena gasped.

"Oh my gosh, these are all my favorites! Thank you, Ethan, for driving all the way to get them, and thank you, Mrs. Miller, for cooking them!"

But in front of me sat only a single ceramic pot.

I lifted the lid. Inside was a bowl of live, crawling garden snails.

I almost knocked the bowl off the table.

Back in elementary school, some boys had stuffed snails into my backpack.

When I reached in to grab my books, my fingers brushed against that slimy, wriggling texture.

I had screamed and cried, and from that day on, they gave me a nickname:

"Snail Girl."

Since then, I had been utterly terrified of them.

But when my mom found out, she started forcing me to eat them.

"Its because you haven't had them enough. Eat more, and you won't be scared anymore."

Once, she forced me to swallow one. I vomited so hard I ended up in the ER with acute gastroenteritis.

Back then, Ethan had snuck into my hospital room, gently stuffing a chicken leg into my hand.

"Chloe, move in with me in the future. I promise I will never force you to eat anything you're afraid of."

"It's okay to be a little cowardly."

The sincerity in his eyes back then was the exact reason I fell in love with him.

But now, he picked up one of the crawling snails with his fork and dropped it into my bowl.

"They look scary, but theyre actually super nutritious. You can even eat them raw."

I stared at the crawling snail in my bowl, picked it up, and dropped it into Serena's bowl.

"Then she should eat it."

Ethan immediately grabbed it back and put it in my bowl.

"How can you do that? Serena thinks they're disgusting. Just looking at them gives her goosebumps."

My mom slapped the back of my head.

"Just eat it and stop dragging your feet. Who are you pulling that miserable face for?"

I stared at the bowl for a long time. Then, I picked up the snail and put it in my mouth.

I felt like throwing up.

But I forced myself to swallow. It turned out... it wasn't actually that scary.

They watched me, their faces filled with satisfaction, like scientists looking at a successful experiment.

The dinner continued to be lively.

Ethan picked the bones out of the fish for Serena, and my mom scooped soup for her. I sat there like an unwanted piece of furniture.

Halfway through the meal, Ethan suddenly spoke up.

"Oh, by the way, Chloe. For your teams project presentation tomorrow at the office... why don't you let Serena do it?"

"You get so nervous in front of crowds. You'll probably stutter."

For once in my life, I caught on instantly. I knew exactly what Ethan was doing.

He pretended to care about my anxiety, but he also knew this project was a huge deal. He wanted to hand the spotlight to Serena.

But I had stayed up for three consecutive nights to finish that deck.

I didn't care about showing off, but I wanted to try. Just once, I wanted to stand at the front.

"I want to present it myself."

The table fell dead silent for a second.

Ethan frowned.

"Are you sure? There will be a lot of people tomorrow. Don't freeze up on stage."

My mom gave me another disappointed look.

"You can't even speak clearly in front of your own relatives. Why bother?"

"It's fine if you embarrass yourself, but don't embarrass Ethan."

I looked at them seriously.

"Haven't you guys always wanted me to be braver?"

Serena tried to smooth things over. "I think it's amazing that Chloe is taking this step. I support you!"

That night, I stayed up until 2:00 AM practicing with the slides.

But I never expected that when I stepped onto the stage the next day, several key data slides would be completely blank.

I froze on stage.

Ethan sat in the front row, watching me calmly for a few seconds.

Then he stood up and spoke to the room. "Having the courage to stand on stage is the first step. But professional capability is about mastering your data and improvising under pressure."

At the same time, my phone buzzed in my hand. It was a Snapchat message from Serena:

"Ethan and I deleted those two slides on purpose! In the real world, clients throw curveballs at you all the time. You need to learn how to improvise without panicking!"

Dozens of eyes stared at me.

My hands shook uncontrollably.

No slides. No data.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I stumbled through it. I tripped over my words three times. It wasn't a masterpiece, but I finished it.

When I was done, Ethan and Serena looked visibly stunned.

Stepping off the stage, I received a text from Lucy:

"Were leaving for the mountains the day after tomorrow. Have you made up your mind?"

I replied: "Yes. I already bought my ticket."

At the after-work happy hour, Serena had a few drinks and immediately started sharing embarrassing stories from my childhood.

"You guys have no idea how much of a coward Chloe is."

"Back in middle school, some kids locked her in the gym equipment locker overnight. She just cried until her voice went hoarse. She didn't even dare to knock on the door to ask for help!"

A coworker wiped a tear from laughing. "Chloe, you're literally a tragic pushover."

Serena nudged Ethan with her elbow. "Ethan, tell them. Am I lying?"

Ethan looked at my humiliated face, hesitating for a moment.

But Serena tugged at his sleeve, and he finally opened his mouth.

"Yeah. When the teacher finally found her and asked what happened, she was so scared she just hid behind me and wouldn't lift her head."

The entire table roared with laughter.

My nails dug deep into my palms.

I gathered every ounce of my courage. "Can you stop? I don't like being laughed at."

The table went dead silent.

A coworker leaned in and whispered to me, "Don't pick a fight with Serena. Her family has connections. Even the boss told everyone to look out for her."

She paused, realizing something. "Wait, if you and Serena grew up together, you must know the boss too? Why are you..."

I froze.

I remembered how badly I wanted to be close to Ethan.

I had worked myself to the bone to pass the interviews for this company.

But when we ran into each other in the lobby on my first day, he didn't even say hi.

Later, he told me, "I don't want people giving you special treatment just because of me, Chloe. You need to grow on your own."

I forced a tight smile at my coworker.

"We just went to the same school. We aren't close."

Later in the night, someone suggested going to an escape room.

An asylum-themed escape room with a five-star horror rating.

Clearly, it was targeted at me.

When we were splitting into groups, everyone actively avoided me.

One coworker joked, "We don't want to get dragged down by you, Chloe."

In the end, only Ethan, Serena, and I were left.

Ethan looked at me with conflict in his eyes, but ultimately stepped over to Serenas side.

"Chloe, this is a great chance to build your courage. Try doing it alone."

Everyone went in, paired up.

Except me.

I felt like I was eight years old again.

My mom didn't love me, and the neighborhood kids didn't want to play with me.

Whenever we played games, nobody ever picked me.

I had wanted to go home back then, but my mom had dragged me back to the group.

"You always shrink back like a sewer rat! If you acted more like Serena, people would actually want to play with you!"

I had stood alone under a tree.

Then, Ethan had walked over. "Ill be in your group."

But the moment Serena's partner left, Ethan immediately abandoned me to go to her.

Twenty years later, I was still the one left behind.

I used to think Ethan was the savior who would pull me out of my insecurity.

But in reality, he had always held Serena's hand, watching me drown in deep water.

The staff member at the door asked me, "Ma'am, are you going in alone?"

I clenched my fists.

"Yes. Just me."

The heavy door pushed open, and everything went pitch black.

The smell of bleach, flashing red lights, and mannequins draped in white sheets surrounded me.

At a corner, Serena suddenly jumped out to jump-scare me.

My foot slipped, and I fell hard, my forehead slamming against the sharp metal frame of a prop bed.

The lights in the room flashed on instantly, followed by a chorus of laughter.

"Oh my god, Chloe! You're so easy to scare!"

My knee was bleeding, and a huge bump was already forming on my forehead.

I brushed the dust off my clothes, turned around, and walked straight out of the building.

Ethan chased after me.

"Are you mad? Serena only did that for your own good."

I swallowed the pain and shook my head.

"I'm not mad."

He reached out, patted my bruised forehead, and smiled.

"That's my good girl."

The group dispersed.

Ethan was going to drive Serena home.

"Her apartment is in a sketchy neighborhood. Its too dark for her to go alone."

"You can just Uber back, okay?"

I looked into his eyes.

"Why is it that when it comes to Serena, you never think she needs to 'toughen up'?"

His mouth opened, but no words came out.

Suddenly, I had no desire to hear his excuse.

"Forget it. Just go."

When I got home, my mom was sitting on the couch eating grapes.

"Did Ethan drive you home?"

"He went to drop off Serena."

My mom tossed a grape skin into the trash.

"Look at how useless you are."

"Ethan has a great family, a great career. Serena fits him so much better. He must have been blind to choose you, and yet you're still not satisfied."

I looked at my mom, really looked at her.

"Mom, you're right. Serena suits Ethan way better than I do."

"And she suits being your daughter way better, too."

My mom snapped, standing up instantly. "You dare talk back to me? Who do you think wants you anyway?"

"You're just like your spineless father! You'll never be half the girl Serena is!"

I shut my bedroom door.

She spent half the night screaming curses outside.

I put on my headphones and began packing my bags.

The next morning, I went out to buy supplies for the mountains.

Snake repellent, bug spray, a first-aid kit...

When I returned, the front door was slightly ajar.

I heard laughter coming from the living room.

First, it was Serenas voice.

"During the engagement party, when Chloe walks onto the stage, we should trigger a little prank to scare her. It'll be great for her anxiety."

"Should we throw a fake snake or a dead rat?"

Ethan went silent for a long time.

Serena sounded annoyed. "Why are you making that face? If you're going to take her side, then just ignore me!"

He finally sighed. "Fine... but this is really the last time. I don't want Chloe getting too traumatized."

He claimed he cared, yet he agreed to it anyway.

My mom laughed along. "A little scare is good for her. Shes been talking back lately. This will teach her a lesson."

The afternoon sun was blazing hot, but I felt freezing cold.

My own engagement party was going to be turned into a public humiliation prank.

But it was fine. It really didn't matter anymore.

The room inside went quiet.

I pushed the door open.

Ethan immediately stood up, looking nervous, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"We were just planning the perfect engagement party for you, Chloe."

"Okay," I murmured.

Serena leaned in. "Hey Chloe, I'm taking Ethan out for a bachelor night tonight. You don't mind, right?"

"I don't mind."

But at 2:00 AM, my phone rang. I had to drive to a bar to pick up the two of them, completely drunk.

Serenas makeup was smudged with tears as she clutched Ethans sleeve.

"If you hadn't refused to go to the same college as me... if you had just confessed to me back then, I wouldn't have lied and said I didn't like you."

Ethan covered his eyes with his hand, his voice thick and raspy.

"I regret it too... I shouldn't have gotten drunk and kissed Chloe just to make you jealous. I shouldn't have stayed with her."

"But she looked so pathetic when she smiled..."

I leaned against the doorframe of the bar, my knees going weak.

On the night of our high school graduation, we had all gotten drunk.

Ethan, completely wasted, had pulled me into an alley, kissed me, and whispered, "I love you so much."

That was the first time anyone had ever told me they loved me.

I had felt like the luckiest girl in the world, my head spinning with joy.

He had fallen asleep on my shoulder, and I hadn't dared to move an inch, my heart racing all night long.

Ten years. It was all a mistake.

I let out a mocking laugh at myself. Of course. Why would anyone ever love a girl like me?

I hauled both of them into the car and took them home.

The next morning, Ethan and Serena came to pick up my mom, saying they were going to the venue early to set up.

I knew they were going to set up their "surprise."

Ethan stood at the door, smiling.

"Take your time getting ready, Chloe. No rush."

I nodded, watching their car drive away.

Lucy was waiting for me at the train station.

When I arrived, Ethan Snapchat-messaged me: "Take your time, we aren't fully ready yet."

In the background of his voice note, I could hear Serena shrieking with laughter.

"No, this fake rat doesn't look real enough! Find another one!"

So that was their surprise.

I didn't reply.

My mom sent a voice note in the family WhatsApp group:

"Chloe is always so slow and can't handle big crowds. We're delaying the start of the ceremony to let her prepare."

I smiled, muted my phone, and stepped onto the bus with Lucy.

Right before my phone lost signal in the mountains, I received one last voice note from Ethan.

"Where are you? You can come now. Were ready."

In the background, Serena laughed, "Hurry up, Chloe! Your surprise is waiting!"

I turned off my phone and never looked back.

Meanwhile, at the hotel banquet hall.

Ethan and the others waited.

The double doors were suddenly pushed open.

Serena screamed and threw the prop rat.

But the only person standing at the door was the hotel manager.

"Miss Miller asked me to deliver a message. She won't be attending her engagement party. She hopes you all have a wonderful evening."

Ethan's smile shattered.

My mom froze in utter disbelief.