No Longer That Person In The Evening Breeze

My fianc had a creditor.

For the five years we dated, in the name of paying her back, he habitually transferred half of his project bonuses to her.

The birthday gifts he prepared for me would become hers if she said she liked them.

Even one phone call from her was enough for him to abandon me and leave in a rush.

He said they had grown up together, practically sharing the same pants as kids. If he could help, he should.

I believed him.

Until the day we finally saved enough for the down payment on our future home.

I couldnt wait to go look at apartments with him.

But I heard him say lightly, Oh, the money in the card? I lent it to Nora.

She recently found this collectible figure she wanted. Pretty worth it.

Only then did I realize that the debt he talked about would never be repaid.

The last little bit of hope in me disappeared.

I silently put the card back into my pocket.

Okay.

I didnt want to marry him anymore.

I wanted to try living without him.

Whats wrong?

Theo Mercer placed a hand on my shoulder.

You know how careless she is with money. If I dont help her out, shed have starved on the street long ago.

When he said that, his eyes were full of indulgence.

When did you lend it to her?

He paused.

Yesterday.

Yesterday.

Even though I had known the answer, hearing him say it still made my heart sting.

I had stayed up through countless unbearable nights, revised endless proposals, and fought hard to win that project bonus.

Just like that, he had given it away.

Theo seemed to realize something and explained stiffly, Nora said the figure was limited edition. She was anxious, so she came to me for money.

He pulled me closer, his tone carrying a little helplessness.

All right. We can buy a home anytime. Just wait a little longer.

Wait a little longer.

When I asked him to go wedding dress shopping with me, he said wait a little longer.

When I asked what theme we should use for the wedding, he said wait a little longer.

But the moment Nora said she wanted to open a flower shop, he transferred half his project bonus to her.

From renting the place to opening day, it took less than a month.

A sour ache spread through my chest.

I gently pushed him away.

Theo, I dont want to wait anymore.

Clara.

He withdrew the hand that had frozen midair and took off his jacket, setting it on the sofa.

Dont make a scene. I worked all day, then helped Nora at the flower shop all afternoon. Im tired.

He never hid things involving Nora.

He knew that if he acted openly, I would have no reason to argue with him.

My heart sank bit by bit.

My eyes burned.

For the first time, I asked him, Fine. I wont make a scene. Then how long am I supposed to wait?

Seeing his speechless expression, I pulled my mouth into a self-mocking smile.

How could I ever receive a promise from someone who never intended to be responsible for it?

Enough.

He roughly ruffled my hair. The motion was no different from patting a pet.

Once her shop turns a profit this month, well go look at apartments. Okay?

I have work tomorrow. Sleep early.

With that, he stopped looking at me and walked into the bedroom.

Again.

To him, as long as tomorrow came, I would automatically stop being angry.

I sat stiffly and picked up the gift box on the table.

Inside was a tie.

He had once said a black tie with a suit looked too heavy.

I remembered it and carefully picked a navy one.

I had placed it in the most visible spot.

Full of expectation, I told him to come home early.

He agreed. And I kept lying to myself as I waited.

Waited until deep into the night.

Waited until he still failed to remember today was our fifth anniversary.

Waited until he casually told me he had given our savings to Nora.

My eyes grew more and more sore.

I threw the tie into the trash.

Holding the edge of the table, I stood there for a long time before opening my notes app.

Inside was a list of fifty things I wanted to do with him.

Watch a movie together.

Try a famous restaurant.

Raise a cat.

After five years, only three had been completed.

Not break up.

Eat three meals together.

And share an umbrella.

That day, it rained heavily. He rarely came to pick me up from work.

With him was Nora in the passenger seat.

When we got out, his umbrella tilted. Half my shoulder was soaked.

He said he hadnt noticed.

I believed him.

The living room was very quiet.

For no reason, I let out a dry laugh.

With trembling hands, I cleared the entire notes list.

I didnt want to wait anymore.

I wanted to be the one who left first.

I slept in the guest room that night.

The next morning, I was woken by unrestrained laughter coming from the living room.

When I opened the bedroom door, I saw Theo naturally take Noras bag and place it on a chair.

Clara, youre awake?

Nora smiled sweetly and pointed to the roses in the vase on the table.

These just arrived today. I brought you a few. Theres still dew on them.

I forced a smile.

Thanks.

When I walked into the bathroom, Theo followed.

She picked those especially for you.

My hand paused on the faucet.

Mm. I know.

He gave me a faint smile.

Are you still angry about yesterday? Clara, theres really no need.

Theo, Im allergic to pollen.

He froze.

When we were young, he had asked my friends and found out about my pollen allergy.

Then he hand-folded nine hundred and ninety-nine paper roses to confess his feelings.

With tears in his eyes, he said that when we got married, he would personally make me the largest bouquet.

The person who heard it remembered.

The person who made the promise forgot.

From outside came Noras voice.

Theo, I bought porridge. Come eat while its hot.

Theos face looked bad, but he turned and answered her.

Coming.

I splashed water over my face again and again.

When I came out, Nora was holding her phone.

She giggled as she put a seafood bun she had bitten into into Theos bowl.

The seafood buns someone asked me to buy taste awful. Returning them to their owner.

Theo picked it up without any disgust.

The germaphobia he always talked about was gone.

Nora noticed me and quickly explained, Clara, dont misunderstand.

She walked over with a bright smile and held her phone in front of me.

I just posted a few videos of Theo loosening soil for the flowers. I didnt expect them to blow up.

People online say we look good together, so now Im building the account.

The account avatar was a photo of her and Theo together.

One hundred and eight videos.

One hundred thousand followers.

I had once opened an account too, trying to record my life with him.

Theo was always impatient.

Can you be more mature? Stop putting everything online.

Later, the camera collected dust, and I set the account to private.

When I got a new phone, the first thing I did was carefully save those videos of him.

There were only a few.

This is all for marketing, Nora said lightly. Hes only useful for that much.

Mm. I didnt misunderstand.

My voice was calm.

Theo frowned.

Enough. Stop filming.

He pushed the vase of roses farther away.

Then he looked at me.

Nora bought breakfast. Want some?

I shook my head.

No. I have something to do.

He did not ask further.

To him, that was already his greatest concession.

In the past, this would have been my cue to take the step down.

But this time, I didnt want to.

I put on my coat and left.

I took a cab to the photography studio.

For five years, every year, I booked a couples photoshoot in advance.

I hoped to have more memories with him.

But he was always tied up by countless trivial things. He could never make time.

Book.

Cancel.

Book again the next year.

Get stood up again.

Until yesterday, when the studio called and asked me to cancel my membership card.

When I entered the shop, the employee who greeted me smiled.

Miss Bennett, is your boyfriend still too busy to come this time?

Five years.

Five bookings.

Every time, I came alone.

Her tone had gone from polite to openly contemptuous.

I swallowed the ache in my chest and pretended not to hear it.

Im here to cancel the membership.

She processed it quickly.

At the end, she added politely, The refund and vouchers have been returned to your original account.

Its just that the studio is renovating soon, and were afraid customer information might get mixed up.

If your boyfriend isnt busy someday, you can always come again.

I looked at the three thousand dollars that had been refunded.

Five years.

Complete and untouched.

Not a cent less.

No.

When I walked out, Theo sent me a message.

Im going to the flower shop to help Nora. I wont be home for dinner.

I did not reply.

My finger slid over the screen uncontrollably.

Only then did I realize that most of the messages he sent me involved Nora.

Last weekend, he said Nora had met a difficult customer and told me not to wait for him.

The week before that, I asked him to go wedding dress shopping with me.

He rarely agreed, but then left in a hurry because Nora called.

My hands trembled so badly I stopped scrolling.

At that moment, my best friend sent me a livestream link.

Clara, what did I say? Is Theo really with that childhood sweetheart of his?

As if possessed, I tapped in.

Noras voice immediately came through.

Everyone who orders for Valentines Day can get an autographed photo of me and my boyfriend.

Same-city express delivery. Discounts available for orders.

Beside her sat Theo, wrapping bouquets with an indulgent smile.

I remembered how clumsy Theo used to be.

When I dragged him to make bead art with me, he always kept a cold face and said he couldnt do delicate work.

Now, watching him expertly wrap bouquets in the livestream, I only found it funny.

My best friend called.

Arent you two about to get married? Did you suddenly break up?

I gave a bitter laugh.

Were not getting married.

She was silent for a long time.

Breaking up might be a good thing.

She knew how much I had wanted to marry Theo.

She also knew how I had survived these five years.

After hanging up, I sent Theo a message.

Come home early tonight. I have something to say.

Just this once, I only ask you to come home early.

Only then did I notice Theo had already sent a message.

The status showed: typing

Then disappeared.

In the end, he replied:

Okay.

When I got home, I packed my things.

There were very few.

Only a few pieces of clothing.

Everything related to Theo, I left behind.

After submitting my resignation and booking the nearest flight that night, I sat on the sofa and rubbed the bank card in my hand again and again.

It was the one Theo had personally handed me when he first started working.

He smiled and said, When we save enough, well get married and buy a home of our own.

Later, I got used to saving my own money into that card too.

I thought if I waited a little longer, I would have a home with him.

Later still, the balance in the card didnt grow. It shrank.

All transferred to Nora.

Theo came home then.

He carried large and small bags.

For once, he did not break his promise.

Before I could speak, Nora walked in behind him.

Im exhausted. We were busy all day.

They were still wearing the couple outfits from the livestream.

I froze.

Then I heard Theo say, Nora said she saw you in the livestream today.

She was afraid youd misunderstand, so she insisted on closing early to apologize.

Nora smiled.

Clara, I bought you steak especially. Theo and I both think this place is good. Try it.

I stood and walked closer.

Thanks.

Dont be so polite, Clara.

She pressed my shoulders and made me sit.

Then she tried to take the bags from Theos hand.

He avoided her.

Ill do it.

Nora laughed and hooked her arm around his neck.

What, you look down on me?

I watched them quietly, like an outsider.

Familiar packaging.

This was the restaurant I had mentioned to Theo many times.

He had always brushed it off.

After setting out all the takeout, Theo pulled out a chair and sat across from me.

You said you wanted me home early. What is it?

Then he seemed to remember something.

Oh, right. I asked a coworker to check. He said housing prices have been unstable lately. We should wait until next year to buy the wedding apartment.

Beside him, Nora cut her steak and smiled.

By the way, Ill pay back the money I borrowed from you at the end of the month.

No need. It wasnt much.

No need.

He always answered like that.

Once, when I couldnt pay rent, I gently reminded him that Nora could repay a little.

He snapped at me.

I grew up with her. Do you really expect her to pay me back over that little money?

In the end, I begged the landlord until my mouth went dry before he agreed to give me a few extra days.

I still remembered the contempt in his eyes.

Can I really not pay it back? Clara wont mind, right?

What would she mind?

The meal instantly lost all taste.

I put down my knife and fork.

Theo, actually, I do mind.

The smile on Noras face froze.

Theo stood almost immediately and pulled me back into the bedroom.

You had to say that in front of Nora?

For the first time, I felt he was so unfamiliar.

I pulled my hand free.

Half of the two hundred thousand you gave her was mine.

I said gave.

Not lent.

He heard it. His voice grew suppressed.

I was the one who lent it to her. You dont need to be so passive-aggressive.

My tone was calm.

Im not being passive-aggressive, Theo.

It doesnt matter whether you lent it voluntarily or whether she pays it back.

But the part that belongs to me should be returned.

I took out the bank card and placed it on the table nearby.

You can keep this yourself from now on.

Lets not contact each other anymore.

He looked at me with unfamiliar eyes.

Just because I lent her money without telling you?

Do you really need to make such a huge fuss?

I let out a dry laugh.

How could I possibly break up just because of that?

Im just really tired.

Clara, when did you become like this?

He stared hard at my calm face.

Nora grew up with me. Whats wrong with helping her?

I interrupted softly.

You grew up with her. I didnt.

Theo, lets end this here.

From outside came Noras wounded voice.

Theo, I borrowed money from my mom and transferred it to you.

Please apologize to Clara for me. I wont borrow money from you again.

Theo tugged his tie loose in irritation and pointed toward the door.

Clara, are you satisfied now?

He took out his phone and transferred the money to me.

One hundred thousand.

Five years.

I looked at the screen and said nothing.

He laughed from anger.

I never understood why my mom liked Nora but didnt like you.

Clara, you really should learn from Nora. Otherwise, with your personality

He paused, then still chose to say it.

Youre honestly pretty annoying.

The first time I met his mother, she held Noras hand and smiled from ear to ear.

She left me ignored to the side.

More than once, she had said she wanted Nora to be her daughter-in-law.

Back then, I respected her as an elder, listened silently, and never argued back.

But I forgot.

Just like me, Theo never argued back either.

I was finally awake.

I will never learn from her in this lifetime.

Youre impossible.

The door slammed shut.

Soon, the sound of a car starting came from downstairs.

I wiped the wet corners of my eyes, picked up my suitcase, and went downstairs.

By the time I reached the airport, Nora had just posted something new.

Who says childhood sweethearts always lose to the girl who appears later? Some people should really stop being so jealous.

The attached photo showed Theo cooking noodles for her.

His back had appeared in her social media many times.

Always in vivid ways I had never seen.

I liked the post.

Then I removed Theo from the top of my chats.

Blocked him.

Muted him.

Checked in.

And boarded the plane.