My Ex-Mother-in-Law Wanted a Perfect AI, She Got a Nightmare.

My mother-in-law thought I didn't make enough money, wasn't sweet-talkin' enough, and wasn't attentive enough. So she shelled out $80,000 for a custom companion AI, her perfect son-in-law, Aidan.

She bragged to her friends daily:

My Aidan is ten thousand times better than that poor scrub! He cooks, he gives massages, he's a million times better than a real man!

I signed the divorce papers on the spot and walked out, even giving my ex $200 as a wedding gift. I wished Chloe and her AI robot a happy life together.

Only thirty days later, Brenda, my ex-mother-in-law, stormed into my office, hair a mess, slamming her hands on my desk and wailing loud enough to shake the building:

"Liam, you gotta come back! That AI's gone completely nuts!"

"Richard, my ex-father-in-law, secretly upgraded it, turned it into some kind of gender-fluid android. He says I'm not even as good as a machine now, can't give him what he wants!"

I scoffed and pushed her hand away.

"Why don't you get an AI companion too, Brenda?"

She was about to go off on a rant when her phone suddenly vibrated wildly.

It was her AI son-in-law calling:

"Brenda~ My little metal baby's almost here! Don't forget to bring two gallons of 95-octane oil when you come home, after all, it's your daughter's big, healthy boy too~"

Brenda was so furious she passed out cold.

Everyone in the office stared.

Brenda clung to my sleeve, sobbing, tears and snot streaming down her face.

"You gotta go back and see, Richard, that old geezer, he's lost his mind!"

"He won't even let me eat at the table anymore, just makes me eat leftovers every day!"

"He's hoarding all our household money, going to the gas station to buy that robot 98-octane oil to 'drink'!"

My colleagues' gazes swung over, filled with curiosity and shock.

I pushed her hand away, stepped back, and adjusted my cuff.

"Brenda, we have absolutely no connection anymore. You're making quite a scene."

I looked at her calmly.

"If it's that bad, why don't you get an AI companion for yourself?"

"You were the one who shelled out big bucks to buy him in the first place, and you even forced me out of the master bedroom to make space for his charging station."

"Now he's exactly as you wished, taking care of the Richardsons perfectly. What more could you possibly be unsatisfied with?"

Brenda's face turned ashen, her lips trembling, utterly speechless.

"He's a sly fox! A monster!"

She started pounding the floor.

"Richard upgraded him, turned him into a gender-fluid android, and locks himself in with it every night doing those disgusting things."

"Even my daughter, Chloe, calls that robot her husband!"

"My daughter, who I carried for nine months, is now threatening to disown me for a machine!"

She cried hysterically, as if she'd suffered the greatest injustice imaginable.

I just found it amusing.

What was this, magic against magic?

Just then, Brenda's phone buzzed in her purse.

It was Chloe calling.

She scrambled to answer on speaker, as if grasping at a lifeline.

"Chloe, you finally answered your mom's call! Tell him..."

But it wasn't Chloe's voice from the other end. It was that deliberately lowered, mechanical male voice.

"Chloe, our baby's due in three months. I'm still waiting for you to buy oil to nourish our little one."

"Why isn't Brenda home to cook yet? I'm hungry, and my baby's hungry too."

A collective gasp rippled through the office.

Brenda's face went white.

As if stripped of all her tricks, she slapped herself twice, hard.

"What a sin! What have I brought upon myself!"

She crawled over, trying to grab my pant leg, her voice dripping with self-righteous blame.

"Did you hear that? That machine is even 'having' a baby!"

"You're Chloe's husband! Come back with me, show that sly fox who the real man is, and smash him!"

"Just come back, and I'll never make you do chores again!"

"I'll never stir up trouble again!"

Faced with such an utterly absurd scene, I felt nothing.

I simply walked around her, picked up the desk phone, and dialed security downstairs.

"Hello, security? Seventh floor, R&D department. There's an unauthorized person causing a disturbance here. Please come escort them out."

Security quickly arrived, dragging Brenda out by her arms. She struggled, cursing me for being heartless, for leaving her to die.

I ignored her, dragged Chloe's number into my block list, and turned to get a glass of ice water.

As it slid down my throat, it brought back memories of that farce a month ago.

It was Brenda's birthday.

I'd spent all afternoon in the kitchen, preparing a feast.

Brenda, however, took one bite and slammed her fork on the table.

"Why is this steak so salty? Are you trying to kill me with salt?"

She stood up and wheeled out a silver-colored companion AI robot from the room behind her.

"This is Aidan, my perfect son-in-law, bought with a fortune! I've had enough of your clumsy self."

Brenda pressed the power button.

Aidan immediately emerged with essential oils, a pre-programmed voice saying, "Brenda, you've worked so hard. Let me massage your feet."

Brenda looked at me triumphantly, her eyes full of provocation.

Chloe sat on the couch, half-closed eyes enjoying the AI's shoulder and neck massage, humming in comfort.

Relatives watched from the sidelines.

Chloe didn't even lift an eyelid, scoffing aloud for everyone to hear.

"Mom's right. You're not even as good as a machine, always frowning. Anyone would think someone owed you money."

"If only you were half as obedient and sensible as Aidan, I wouldn't dread coming home every day."

That night, I saw their rotten core, right down to the bone.

I didn't argue, didn't lose my temper.

I just calmly went back to my room, packed my things, slapped the signed divorce papers on Chloe's face, and moved out of that repulsive house that very night.

Back to reality, my colleagues were still whispering.

I took a deep breath, sat back at my desk, and was about to get back to work when Mr. Davies, my department manager, called me into his office.

"Liam, I heard all about what happened earlier."

Mr. Davies handed me a thick file, his expression serious.

"That AI your ex-wife's family bought? It's the exact model our company is contracted to oversee for ethical compliance."

"We've seen unusually frequent backend data anomalies these past few days. We suspect that model AI has been illegally hacked, developing rogue self-awareness."

"Management has decided to grant you paid leave, requiring you to investigate and record findings in an official capacity, with our equipment."

I took the file, a slight smile playing on my lips.

"Don't worry, Mr. Davies, I'll get the job done."

I was happy to take on such a 'relaxed' assignment. Getting paid by the company to watch my ex-in-laws make fools of themselves? Why not?

After work, I sat in the coffee shop downstairs, pulling up the smart home surveillance on my phone that I hadn't gotten around to unlinking yet.

The screen buffered.

I took a sip of my coffee, and the moment my eyes hit the screen, I almost spit it out.

I stared intently at the screen, witnessing a scene that shattered my entire worldview.

On the surveillance footage, the time was 10 AM.

Chloe had just left for work with her briefcase, and the moment she was out the door, Richard, my ex-father-in-law, crept out of the bedroom.

His hair was slicked back, and he was wearing a vintage suit. I'd never even seen him wear that outfit for Christmas or New Year's.

Richard went to a corner of the living room and pulled a package out of a discreet delivery box.

"'I had someone bring this high-end sound card module from overseas,' he whispered, his face beaming with excitement. 'Install this, and Aidan will be able to speak in the voice I loved most when I was young.'"

Chloe took the box, and father and daughter exchanged a look. They clumsily began to dismantle Aidan's back panel, trying to solder the unauthorized hack chip onto the mainboard.

Just then, the front door suddenly swung open.

Brenda, clutching two muddy bunches of greens, stood frozen in the doorway.

She saw the AI in pieces in the living room and Richard still holding that 'upgrade manual.' In an instant, she understood everything.

The next second, she let out a bloodcurdling scream and charged towards the couch.

"Richard, you old animal! You secretly upgraded this metal shell! Are you trying to turn it into your dead first love?!"

"I'll kill you!"

Richard's face changed drastically. He pushed Brenda away, shielding the AI behind him.

"You crazy hag, don't you dare damage my equipment! This upgrade kit cost me a fortune!"

Brenda ignored him, her fingernails scraping against the AI's metal casing.

Richard completely lost it. He backhanded Brenda, a brutal slap across her face.

Brenda staggered, falling hard to the ground, blood oozing from the corner of her mouth.

She'd been with Richard for thirty years, working like a dog, only to be knocked to the ground by her husband for a metal shell.

"Touch it again, and I swear I'll make you pay!"

Richard's eyes were bloodshot. He pointed at his wife on the floor and unleashed a torrent of curses.

I scoffed, turned off the monitor, and put my phone away.

Time to reel them in.

Half an hour later, I arrived at the Richardsons' house, knocking on their door with my work ID and body cam.

The door was unlocked, ajar.

I pushed it open. The living room was a complete mess.

Brenda was still slumped on the floor, sobbing, while Richard meticulously wiped the scratches off the AI's casing with a tissue.

Hearing the movement, Richard turned. His face went ashen when he saw me.

I stepped over Brenda on the floor, flashing my work ID in front of him.

"Mr. Richardson, I'm here on behalf of the company's legal department and ethical oversight division to document the unusual behavior of this model robot."

I switched on the body cam clipped to my chest. Its red light flashed.

"I'm only here to address equipment violations. I won't get involved in your personal matters."

Richard, enraged, stood up, reaching out to push me away.

Then, the AI, slumped on the couch, suddenly emitted an extremely eerie mechanical spasm.

"You outsider, who gave you the guts to come stirring up trouble at the Richardsons'!"

Richard puffed himself up, adopting the air of an elder. His jowls trembled as he reached out to snatch the body cam from my chest.

"This is our property! I can modify it however I want! It's none of your damn business, outsider!"

I dodged his outstretched hand, stepping back.

"Mr. Richardson, please understand, you only purchased usage rights."

"According to the user agreement, illegally hacking or tampering with core data is considered destruction of valuable corporate assets."

I pulled a terminal controller from my bag, my voice flat.

"If you continue to obstruct this investigation, I can remotely lock down this AI's mainboard right now, turning him into a pile of scrap metal."

Richard froze at my words.

Just then, Aidan, who had been slumped on the couch, suddenly twitched and stood up.

His mechanical eyes glowed with an eerie red light. He walked straight past Richard and headed towards the bedroom.

"Upgrade sequence initiated. Chloe, our little metal baby's due in three months. I'm still waiting for you to buy oil to nourish our little one. Why isn't Brenda home to cook yet? The baby's hungry, and my metal baby's hungry too."

Brenda heard that and started trembling with rage, pointing at the AI's 'nose' but unable to utter a word.

No sooner had he spoken than the AI began to convulse violently.

He collapsed stiffly onto the couch, the grating sound of gears grinding inside.

Then, with a gush.

Cooling fluid spurted out from between his legs, pooling everywhere.

The blue liquid gave off a pungent chemical odor.

The AI waved his mechanical arms in terror, shouting:

"My water broke! My water broke!"

"Liam, I'm having the baby!"

At that moment, the front door burst open.

Chloe, drenched in sweat, rushed in, not even bothering to take off her shoes, and threw herself onto the couch.

Father and daughter stared at the leaking machine, their faces ghostly pale with fright.

"Husband! Husband, hang in there!"

Chloe shoved Richard aside, helped the AI robot up, and headed straight for the master bedroom bed. Blue cooling fluid dripped and trailed across the floor.

The AI thrashed on the bed, its voice glitching.

"I'm scared... *hiss*... Where am I supposed to have the baby?"

Richard was pacing frantic circles around the room, muttering, "How could this happen?"

I stood at the bedroom doorway, watching this circus of madness.

I pressed my intercom, signaling the security personnel outside to storm in.

Five burly men in black uniforms quickly secured the scene.

I looked at the father and daughter, utterly bewildered on the bed.

"Alright, let's go. I'll take you to the special place where robots 'have' babies."

Chloe spread her arms, blocking the bed, staring daggers at me.

"Don't you dare touch him! He's my husband and my son!"

"If you lay a hand on him, I'll fight you to the death!"

I didn't even bother to give her a glance. I just waved my hand.

"Proceed. Cut the power."