Your Ruined Knees Cannot Save Us

Less than a year after I faked my death, Thomas Oswald found me.

But no matter how he knelt on the cold ground, begging, I refused to go back with him.

Until he used his power to throw my elderly parents into a state penitentiary.

Novia, if you dont want me supporting Lydia, I wont bring her into our lives anymore. Just come home. Cant we go back to how we were?

Thomass eyes were bloodshot, his voice thick with desperation.

You dont want your parents spending their remaining years rotting in a maximum-security prison in the frozen North, do you?

I screamed every curse I knew at him, but he only laughed, a sound raw and bordering on madness. Novia, without you, Ive been out of my mind anyway.

In the end, I broke.

When I returned, Thomas really did seem like a changed man. He stayed by my side constantly. He even proposed sending Lydia away to a secluded clinic in Vermont.

Right in front of my eyes, he burned the trust fund agreements hed prepared for her. He handed me the keys to the entire Oswald estate, telling me that from now on, everything was mine to rule.

Our son, Henrywho had once screamed that he wanted Lydia to be his mothernow trailed after me, desperately trying to win my favor with sweet words and shy smiles.

I actually believed they had changed. I was just about to write a letter to my savior, telling him I had no further requests.

But then, I saw them.

At the secluded chapel on the estate grounds, I caught Thomas. He was holding Lydias arm with a gentle, protective reverence as she prayed.

And my son, Henry, was clinging to Lydias leg, looking up at her with a sweet, adoring smile. Aunt Lydia, when is my baby brother coming out of your tummy to play with me?

Thomas gently pulled the boy back. Dont play around, Henry.

And dont mention your brother. You almost let it slip in front of your mother last time.

I froze where I stood.

After a long, breathless moment, I tightened my grip on my umbrella and stepped forward.

Remember, your mother is also coming to the chapel today to pray for your grandmother. We cant stay long, Thomas said, keeping his voice low and solemn.

And not a single word about the baby in front of her. Do you understand?

Henry nodded, though his lower lip trembled. Dad... when can we bring Aunt Lydia back to the house? Its so cold out here, and she doesn't even have anyone to take care of her...

Thomas stroked the boy's hair, a sigh escaping him. We cant rush this. We have to plan carefully. Ill figure out a way once shes closer to her due date.

But Henry wouldnt let it go, mumbling petulantly, Its all Mom's fault. She's so selfish and jealous! Aunt Lydia is so sweet, but Mom just wants to keep you all to herself. She hates Aunt Lydia!

Quiet! Thomas snapped, cutting him off. That is your mother. Dont let me ever hear you speak of her with such disrespect again!

Silence fell over the small chapel. Henry pouted, tears welling in his eyes. Lydia gently pulled the boy behind her, lifting her tear-rimmed eyes to look at Thomas.

Thomas, please dont blame the child. Its my fault, she whispered, her voice trembling.

That night... you were so drunk. I was careless. I forgot to take the morning-after pill, and now were in this mess. I've made things so hard for you.

I was fully prepared to spend the rest of my life in isolation, never disrupting your life with Novia.

But... if this child is born in some hidden clinic, they will grow up branded a bastard. They'll face nothing but cruelty and scorn.

She slowly sank to her knees, tears spilling over her cheeks.

I dont care what happens to me. But please, Thomas, give this baby a chance. As long as you don't abandon them, Ill wait. Ill wait forever...

Get up, Thomas said, reaching down to pull her to her feet, his voice thick with emotion. Ill find a way.

Theres no need to find a way, I said, closing my umbrella as I calmly stepped over the threshold.

There is no time like the present. You can bring Lydia back to the house today.

My sudden entrance made Thomas stiffen. Every drop of color drained from his face.

Yet, his hand instinctively moved to shield Lydias stomach.

Novia... let me explain, he stammered, his throat working hard as he searched for words.

This baby... it was an accident. That night, I drank too much. I thought she was you...

It was only that one time. I swear to you, only once.

He spoke in a frantic rush, his eyes locked onto mine.

I only wanted to bring her back so she could have a safe delivery, and then I was going to find a quiet place in the countryside for them. If you dont want her in the house, I wont do it. I swear I wont...

I cut him off softly. Thomas, I didnt say I disagreed.

He blinked, utterly lost. Are you... are you angry?

No, I said, my voice smooth and level. I was just thinking that Lydia always preferred the Lakeside Cottage. Ill move my things out tonight so she can have it.

Thomas stared at me as if I were a complete stranger. Slowly, his brow furrowed, and the panic in his eyes turned into something darker, sharper.

Novia, can you stop being so damn passive-aggressive?

I met his gaze, offering a small, polite smile. Youre overthinking it. Im not being passive-aggressive. I simply sympathize with how difficult pregnancy must be for Lydia, and I want to help.

Thomas lunged forward, grabbing my wrist. His grip was so tight I could feel the bones grinding together.

His eyes were bloodshot, his chest heaving.

What do you want from me? I told you it was an accident! Why do you have to keep twisting the knife?

I looked down at his hand bruising my wrist. I didnt struggle. I didnt cry out.

Youre overthinking it, Thomas.

Im just doing what a good wife is supposed to do.

He violently flung my hand away, taking two steps back.

With a sudden burst of rage, he swept his arm across the altar table, sending the brass chalice and offering plates crashing to the stone floor. Fine! Beautiful!

Youre burning with rage inside, but youd rather die than show it. Who are you playing this saintly, uncaring martyr for?

I let out a soft breath, having no desire to argue with him. My silence only infuriated him more.

He glared at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Suddenly, he grabbed Lydias arm, pulling her roughly to his side.

Fine. Since youre so incredibly generous, Im bringing Lydia back today.

After all, your parents are still at my mercy. You wouldnt dare run. Lets see how long you can keep up this little act!

Lydia stumbled as she was pulled, glancing at me with a look of feigned terror, but as she lowered her head, I caught the swift, triumphant curl of her lips.

Looking at the two of them, I felt a strange sense of detachment. I wasn't surprised by her petty malice; I was surprised by myself.

The girl who used to cry, shake, and lie awake all night at the mere mention of her name seemed to belong to another lifetime.

Of course, I said, stepping aside to clear the doorway. Im a bit tired. Ill head back to rest.

Thomas froze behind me for a second, then chased after me, his voice raw and heavy.

Novia, havent you punished me enough?

Ive done everything to accommodate you this time. I just wanted us to have a normal life. What do you gain by torturing me with this coldness?

I paused, but I didnt turn around.

His arrogance only existed because he was absolutely certain I could never leave him.

But what he didnt know was that during the year I had faked my death, I had saved the life of Governor Bradley.

The Governor had promised me a favorany favor. Originally, I was going to write to him to say I needed nothing. But now, I wanted to ask for a formal, legally binding decree of divorce and protection.

I wanted to be truly free of Thomas Oswald.

When I returned to the estate, I ordered the maids to move all my belongings to the carriage house at the far edge of the property.

Mrs. Higgins, the old housekeeper who had once served Lydia, hurried in when she heard the news. She immediately began snooping around.

Ma'am, far be it from me to speak out of turn, but when Mr. Oswald furnished the Emerald Suite for Miss Lydia before, he cleared out three entire vaults of treasures for her.

The cabinets were filled with fine imported porcelain, and the drapes were pure silk. This Lakeside Cottage... its a bit rustic. Im afraid Miss Lydia wont find it to her taste.

I set down my teacup and smiled. Mrs. Higgins, take a few girls to the vault. Whatever Lydia likes, move it in.

You can tear down and rebuild every brick of this cottage to match her exact taste.

Mrs. Higgins blinked, startled, before her face split into a wide, greedy grin.

Your generosity is a blessing to this household, ma'am. Ill get right on it!

As Mrs. Higgins scurried away with a smug swagger, my maid Lucy ran to me, her eyes red and brimming with tears.

Ma'am, shes just a widow! Why does she get to push you around like this over and over?

I stared out the window at the white magnolias in the yard. Its just a house, Lucy.

If she wants it, let her have it.

Hardly had the words left my mouth when Thomas stepped into the courtyard.

Mrs. Higgins was leading a group of maids carrying furniture. Running straight into him, she offered a fawning smile.

Mr. Oswald! Youve come at the perfect time. The mistress is having us redecorate the cottage exactly to Miss Lydias liking.

Its just... the white magnolias in the yard are a bit of a problem. Miss Lydia has always despised the scent of magnolias; she says they give her a headache. What do you think...

I chimed in from the doorway, Rip them out. Plant whatever she prefers. Peonies, roseswhatever Mrs. Higgins deems appropriate.

A suffocating silence fell over the yard.

Thomas stood rooted to the spot, his face a mask of disbelief.

All of you, get the hell out, he commanded.

The servants scrambled to leave, terrified.

Lydia didnt leave immediately. Instead, she took a step closer to him, her voice soft and soothing.

Thomas, please dont upset yourself. I can sleep anywhere, really. Theres no need to argue with Novia on my account...

You too. Leave, Thomas said, without even looking at her.

Lydias sweet smile froze. Her lips parted, but she didnt dare utter another syllable. She lowered her head and quickly retreated.

Thomas strode over, towering over me. His chest rose and fell in violent, ragged breaths, the corners of his eyes so red they looked ready to bleed.

Novia Oswald. Do you have any idea that every single brick, every tree, every flower in this place was chosen because you loved them?

I hauled these magnolias myself from three hundred miles away. I buried them in the dirt and watered them every day for weeks just to keep them alive. And now youre telling them to tear them out?

No matter how much you want to spite me, you shouldn't stomp on my heart like this!

Thomas, I said, my voice empty of emotion. Lydia is carrying your child. She should be kept comfortable. I am only thinking of the Oswald legacy.

He suddenly let out a laugh.

It was a terrible, broken sound, uglier than any sob.

Novia... you are unbelievable.

Since youre so eager to give everything away, then get out! Ill stay in this Lakeside Cottage tonight and sleep with Lydia.

I bowed my head slightly. Enjoy your evening. Ill take my leave.

The moment I turned, he lunged at me like a wild beast, locking his arms around my waist and pulling me flush against his chest.

His fingers clamped onto my jaw, forcing my head back as his mouth crashed down on mine in a brutal, punishing kiss.

The metallic taste of blood immediately spread between us. I didnt struggle. I simply stood there like a block of wood, letting him tear at my lips.

He must have felt my total lack of response, because he pulled back slightly, his eyes flashing with a sudden, desperate terror before he pressed down even harder.

It was as if he believed that if he just forced it enough, he could spark the old warmth, the old passion we used to share.

He carried me to the bed, tearing at my clothes.

But when his fingers ripped at my silk camisole, a sudden, violent wave of nausea surged up from my stomach.

I wrenched myself from his grip, leaned over the edge of the bed, and retched violently.

You...

Thomas froze on the mattress, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. For the year you were gone, I swear I didnt touch another woman. Lydias baby... it was a drunken mistake.

Ive explained this a thousand times. Do you still not believe me?

He fell silent for a moment, then whispered, Or is it... do you think Im dirty? Because I touched someone else, do I disgust you?

I wiped my mouth with a handkerchief, slowly sat up, and pulled my torn shirt together.

Youre overthinking it, Thomas.

Im just not feeling well. Im afraid Ill make a poor companion tonight. You should go to Lydia.

Thomas stared at me, his gaze searching, trying to find a crack in my composure.

Suddenly, he swept his hand across the nightstand, sending the porcelain water pitcher crashing to the floor.

Shards of ceramic exploded everywhere.

Fine! If thats how you want it!

He stepped back, his chest heaving, his voice grinding out between clenched teeth.

Since youre so desperate to push me into her bed, Ill give you exactly what you want!

He let out a cold sneer.

Novia, since youre so noble, so entirely unbothered, you can kneel outside our door tonight and wait to bring us fresh water.

Im worried I might lose control with Lydia. Itll give me peace of mind to have our resident doctor waiting just outside the door.

He stared intensely at my face, begging for even a flicker of pain.

But I merely stood up and smoothed my skirts. Then please wait a moment. I will go boil the water.

As the heavy oak door clicked shut behind me, I heard the muffled sound of something heavy slamming violently against the bedroom wall.

I didnt look back.

When Lydia brushed past me on her way in, she paused, her lips curving into a triumphant smirk.

She leaned close, whispering, Novia, just watch. This time, Im taking everything you have left.

I didnt even blink.

You dont need to waste your energy on me, Lydia.

Within three days, Ill be gone from this place.

She turned to look at me, her eyes wide with disbelief, searching my face for any sign of a bluff.

I didn't look back at her. I simply adjusted my coat against the chilly night breeze and kept walking.

I had already sent a trusted contact to the capitol with my token.

It wouldnt even take three days before I was completely free.

That night, he called for fresh water seven times.

And seven times, I stood outside the door, listening to the sounds from within, carrying heavy buckets of boiling water in and empty basins out.

By the time dawn broke, my body was numb with exhaustion. As I turned to leave, my son came sprinting into the courtyard, practically bursting with excitement.

Dad! Mom! Look! Aunt Lydia got me an admission gift for my new school! I love him so much! Hes so good, he never bites!

Seven-year-old Henry was leading a massive mastiff, nearly as tall as he was. The beasts tongue lolled out of its mouth, its dark eyes locked instantly onto me.

My blood ran cold.

They both knewboth my husband and my sonhow deathly terrified I was of dogs.

Henry, stop...

But instead of stopping, Henry let go of the leash.

The mastiff lunged.

Instinctively, I scrambled backward, tripped over my own skirt, and crashed hard onto the stone pavers.

As the dog bore down on me, I reached out toward Thomas, trying to hide behind him. But Lydia suddenly let out a shrill scream.

Ah! It hurts! Thomas, my stomach...

Thomas hesitated for a fraction of a second, looking between me and Lydia.

Then, without a backward glance, he turned and ran to her.

When the dogs teeth sank deep into my calf, I didnt scream.

It turns out that when pain reaches its absolute limit, you lose the ability to make a sound.

Blood began to pool beneath my leg. I lay flat on the cold ground, my entire body shaking violently.

The raw, bone-deep terror was far worse than the physical pain of the bite.

I curled into a ball, unable to even crawl.

Mom, you are so dramatic, Henry said, standing a few feet away, his head tilted in disgust.

Aunt Lydia said Buster never bites. You must have let him do it on purpose just to make Dad feel bad for you.

My mouth opened, but no sound came out.

Thomas had already scooped Lydia up in his arms, roaring at the terrified servants standing nearby.

What are you doing? Get the doctor! Get every single doctor on this estate right now!

Everyone was running toward Lydia.

I lay on the ground, my skirt soaked through with blood, the mastiff still standing over me, growling, teeth bared.

I couldnt even cry. Terror clawed at my throat, cutting off my breath.

Suddenly, Lucy threw herself over me, violently shoving the dog away with her bare hands.

The mastiff stumbled, snarled in fury, and lunged again.

With a desperate cry, Lucy pulled a heavy silver hairpin from her hair and plunged it deep into the dogs front leg.

The beast howled in pain, tucked its tail, and bolted toward the gates.

Ma'am! Ma'am, where are you hurt? Lucy wept, her hands shaking as she tried to lift me.

Insolent wench!

Henrys face flushed purple with rage. He pointed a finger at Lucy, screaming, You hurt the dog Aunt Lydia gave me! Thats my dog! Someone drag this useless maid out and beat her!

Two heavy-set older housekeepers stepped forward, grabbing Lucy by her arms.

Dont you touch her!

Where the strength came from, I didn't know. I grabbed Lucys wrist with a death grip, refusing to let go.

She is my maid. No one touches her.

What a touching display of loyalty.

Thomass voice dropped from above.

I looked up. He had walked back, looking down at me with cold, detached eyes.

You throw my feelings in the dirt without a second thought, yet you care so much about a common maid?

He crouched down, pinching my chin tightly. Get rid of her.

No!

I grabbed his leg, my voice cracking. Thomas, please... punish me. Dont hurt Lucy...

I slammed my forehead against the stone floor. Once. Twice.

Lydia spent weeks picking out that dog for Henry. Your maid injured it. Dont you think, as her mistress, you owe Lydia and the dog an apology?

I froze, staring at him in utter disbelief.

He wanted me... to apologize to the beast that had just tried to maul me?

If Novia doesnt want to apologize, I suppose theres another way, Lydia said, leaning on a maids arm as she walked over, her hand resting gently on her stomach.

I only want to prove that Buster doesnt bite for no reason. If Novia is willing to sit in the dogs pen for just fifteen minutes, we can call it even and let the maid go.

Slowly, I turned my head to look at Thomas.

From now on, Lydia will share equal status with you in this house, he said, his voice entirely devoid of warmth. What she says is my command.

I let out a hollow laugh. Fine.

Without a single hesitation, I dragged my bleeding leg and stepped inside the iron dog pen. The moment the gate clicked shut, the cornered, agitated mastiff locked its eyes onto me.

No, ma'am! Please! Youre terrified of dogs! Lucy would rather die than see you humiliated like this!

Lucy screamed, fighting against the housekeepers holding her. With a sudden burst of desperation, she broke free and lunged toward the concrete pillar nearby, intending to end her own life.

Lucy, no!

I threw myself against the iron bars, my fingers clawing at the gaps, tears finally blinding my vision.

At that exact second, the mastiff struck.

Its massive weight slammed me to the ground, a heavy paw pinning my shoulder blade down, trapping me. Its hot, foul breath washed over my face.

Outside the pen, Thomass voice came soft, almost conversational.

Be reasonable, Novia. Just swallow your pride, stop fighting me, and Ill let you out.

Everything in this house can go back to being yours.

But before he could finish his sentence, the heavy iron gates of the estate were thrown open with a resounding crash. A fleet of black government vehicles rolled into the courtyard, followed by a squad of armed federal marshals.

The lead envoy stepped out of the lead car, holding a sealed document high in his hand.

Federal decree! Let Novia Oswald step forward to receive it!