The $30,000/Month Fake Girlfriend: From Sugar Baby to Soulmate

I adhered strictly to the code of the perfect girlfriend: I never snooped through his phone, never questioned his whereabouts, and if I ever bumped into him shopping with other girls, Id panic more than he did, keeping my head down and sprinting away so I wouldn't ruin his fun.

Six months into our relationship, we were casting a movie from his phone to the TV when a text message suddenly dropped down from the top of the screen: "I'm pregnant."

After a moment of awkward silence, I hesitantly asked:

"Should I... go be a postpartum doula for your baby mama?"

At night, I unlocked a Lime bike, feeling dead inside as I prepared to head to my tutoring gig for a spoiled brat. Suddenly, a voice called out to me.

"Hey, you on the bike."

I paused and turned around. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. Come here."

I walked over, completely bewildered.

The guy held out a sleek bank card. "Be my girlfriend. I'll give you $30,000 a month. Deal?"

"Huh?"

The guy looked incredibly impatient and repeated, "Be my girlfriend, I'll give you $30k a month. I'll ask one last timedeal?"

To my ears, that sentence sounded like:

Blah blah... free $30,000... blah blah.

I snatched the bank card with lightning speed. "Hubby!"

"Good girl," the guy nodded in satisfaction. He casually wrapped an arm around my shoulder and shot a disdainful look at the person standing across from him. "See that? Thirty grand means nothing to me, but I'd rather feed it to a stray dog than give it to you. You're not worth it."

I didn't even flinch at his words.

He just gave me thirty grand; he could call me a stray dog all he wanted.

"Pfft, who are you trying to fool with a piece of plastic?"

I finally noticed the woman standing across from us, arms crossed, looking arrogant.

This beauty had an Instagram-filter face filled with Botox and fillers, curves for days, and a very skimpy outfit.

But I didn't have time to admire her. Alarm bells were ringing in my head.

What if this card was empty? Then I just called him "Hubby" for nothing!

The guy pulled out his phone. "You. Pull up your Zelle QR code."

I whipped out my beat-up iPhone and pulled up the code, not forgetting to shoot the beauty across from us a look of pure gratitude.

This is what 'Girls Help Girls' truly means!

The guy tapped his phone a few times, and an alert instantly popped up on my screen.

"You received $30,000.00."

Memo: "Voluntary Gift."

"See that?" The guy waved his phone at the beauty.

Her face turned an ugly shade of green, completely speechless.

"Remember, I dumped you." He pocketed his phone with satisfaction, turned, and strode away. After a few steps, he glanced back. "What are you standing there for like an idiot? Keep up."

I quickly jogged after him.

"Coming, Hubby!"

The guy walked all the way to the campus gates and stopped by a black Porsche Cayenne. Frowning, he asked, "Where are you going? I'll drop you off."

"I..." I was about to give him the tutoring address, but then I remembered the $30,000 currently sitting in my account. I quickly changed my tune: "I'm heading back to my dorm."

"Alright, then I won't drive you. There's another $60,000 on that card. With the $30k I just sent, that covers you as my girlfriend for the next three months. Any questions?"

I gripped the bank card tightly and shook my head. "None at all."

He pulled up his iMessage contact info. "Add me."

I quickly saved his number, thoughtfully typing my contact name as:

"Sydney (Girlfriend)"

He accepted my text, then put his phone away.

"Alright, that's it for now. If I need something, I'll text you. I'm out."

I stood there like an idiot until his black Porsche disappeared from view, still unable to process what just happened.

With my terrible luckthe kind where I've never even won a free soda from a bottle capwas this actually happening to me?

I grabbed my phone and checked my balance again.

$30,105.50

For the first time in my life, I felt that living was absolutely worth it.

Back at the dorm, I immediately quit my tutoring job.

Then I started Googling: "New scam tactics."

I searched high and low but couldn't find any scam that worked like this.

I backed out of the browser, checked my balance again, then looked at the bank card in my hand. It suddenly hit mehe hadn't given me the PIN!

I opened our text thread. I didn't even know his name.

After agonizing over it, I brazenly texted: "Hi, Boyfriend."

Half an hour passed before he replied.

"What."

I replied in a second.

"Um... you haven't given me the PIN for the bank card yet."

Another half hour passed, and he sent a string of numbers.

"001223"

Immediately after, he sent a four-second voice memo backed by deafening club music and chaotic shouting.

"That's my birthday. Memorize it. I'll be quizzing you later."

I typed out, "Memorize it? I'll carve it into my DNA."

I thought better of it, deleted it, and replied with "Got it!" paired with a cute cat emoji I hadn't used in centuries.

He didn't reply again, so I sneaked out in the dark to the campus ATM. Once I confirmed the $60,000 balance, I returned to my dorm, completely satisfied.

Showered, went to sleep.

In my dreams, I was living in a Manhattan penthouse, neighbors with a tech billionaire.

Just as I was happily listening to him spill the tea on some A-list celebrities, an ear-piercing FaceTime ringtone yanked me back to reality.

I kept my eyes shut, answering with extreme annoyance: "Hello?"

"You're asleep already?"

I checked the time. It was 3:50 AM. I instinctively snapped back, "What does it look like?"

"Are you yelling at me?"

I woke up instantly.

My sugar daddy!

I softened my voice immediately. "Baby, I wasn't yelling at you."

The line went quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was laced with alcohol.

"Why didn't you tell me goodnight before you went to sleep?"

Honestly, having been single since birth, I wasn't used to reporting to anyone before bed.

But I couldn't exactly say that, so I made an excuse.

"I was going to, but I accidentally fell asleep."

"You know you're my girlfriend, right?"

"I know."

"From now on, I want the same treatment every other boyfriend gets. And the treatment they don't get, I want that too. Otherwise, don't expect a subscription renewal."

Subscription renewal? That's a thing?!

"I got it, I'll pay attention from now on. But" I paused, feeling the need to clarify something upfront. "Um... just so we're clear, I'm a paid actor, not an escort."

He chuckled through the phone. "Relax. Your boy is a law-abiding citizen."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was very satisfied with this job.

"I have an early class tomorrow. When I come downstairs, I want to see you holding breakfast. I'll text you my dorm building and room number."

"Okay, baby."

"Yeah. Go back to sleep."

"I'm going to sleep then. Goodnight, baby."

"Yeah."

The call ended.

The next morning, I woke up bright and early, dressed up nicely, bought breakfast, and waited in front of the men's dorm.

Watching the endless stream of guys pouring out, I encountered a new problem.

I have mild face-blindness. Plus, yesterday I was so focused on staring at the bank card, my account balance, the luxury car, and the Botox face that I didn't actually remember what the guy looked like.

I only remembered he wore all black and had a diamond stud in his left ear.

Clutching the breakfast, I stared intensely at every guy's ear, searching carefully.

Five minutes later, a guy dressed entirely in black with a black stud in his left ear walked out. I quickly put on my best professional smile and jogged over.

"Good morning, Hubby."

The guy froze in his tracks. The air around us went silent for a second before the guys around him started hooting and teasing him.

"Wow, Ethan, since when do you have a girlfriend?"

"Isn't this the junior from our department?"

"You actually bagged the 'Ice Queen'?"

Ethan? The upperclassman from my major?

"Sorry, my girlfriend is still half-asleep. She recognized the wrong person."

A familiar voice rang out from behind me. A long, slender arm lazily draped over my shoulder. The guy tilted his head down, his dark eyes looking at me with a half-smile. "Your hubby is right here, girlfriend."

...

I felt like I was about to get fired.

After we walked a fair distance away, he finally let go of me. He unhurriedly pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like him?"

He was standing against the morning light. I only reached his chest. He had sharp, narrow eyes, a high nose bridge, and a razor-sharp jawline. As he exhaled white smoke, he exuded a dangerous yet captivating vibe.

The senior from earlier, Ethan, had a similar build, but his features were softer, his eyes kinder, giving off a warm, comforting, boy-next-door energy.

I shook my head seriously. "Not at all."

"Then how did you mess that up? I stood right next to you for half an hour, and you run off to call someone else Hubby?"

"Half an hour? I didn't see you come down!"

"I didn't sleep in the dorms last night. I drove all the way back just for you." He sighed dramatically. "Who knew I'd stand there for thirty minutes while my own girlfriend couldn't recognize me and called another man her husband right to my face? Looks like I didn't pay you enough."

"You paid enough, you paid enough! When I get back, I'll carve your face into my brain. I'll never recognize the wrong person again."

He smirked, amused. "I thought you were the 'Ice Queen.' Why are you acting like a comic relief sidekick?"

I immediately clarified my stance. "Whatever Hubby likes, that's the role I'll play."

He tossed his cigarette into a nearby trash can. "I'll forgive you this once for having good customer service. Do you have morning classes?"

I finally relaxed. "Thank you, Boss. No morning classes."

He shot me a lazy side-eye. "Boss?"

"I misspoke. Hubby."

"If you don't have class, come with me to mine." He threw an arm over my shoulder and steered me toward the academic building. "If you call someone else Hubby again, I'm docking your pay."

"Understood." I obediently kept pace with him.

For thirty grand a month, forget going to class with himI'd go bungee jumping with him.

He was a junior, one year ahead of me, majoring in Computer Science.

He pulled me through the back door of the lecture hall, heading straight for the last row, and started picking at the breakfast I bought.

"I don't like this one, you eat it. I like the soup dumplings. Buy more of those next time."

I casually pulled a notebook from my bag, clicked my pen, and started scribbling furiously.

"Uh-huh, please continue."

He raised an eyebrow and leaned over to look at my notebook.

Sugar Daddy Preferences - Breakfast Edition

Soup Dumplings +1

Breakfast Burritos -1

He paused, then burst out laughing. "Why are you being so cute? Are you trying to kill me?"

Then he successfully choked on his food, laughing and coughing violently. It took him a good minute to recover.

I silently added a few more words to the page: "Feed with caution, prone to choking."

When the professor walked in, his first question was:

"Is Carter here today?"

"Here," Carter raised his hand lazily.

So my wonderful husband is named Carter.

"Finally gracing us with your presence. A rare sight indeed."

The professor shot him a look and started the lecture.

Carter slouched in his seat, tried to listen for a bit, and then fell asleep.

I was bored, so I decided to take notes for him.

Whether I understood the coding jargon or not, I just wrote it all down.

I spent most of the class taking notes with my head down. Carter finally woke up, resting his chin on his hand, watching me write.

When the bell rang, he asked me in a raspy voice:

"Girlfriend, what's your name?"

"Sydney."

"Alright." He patted my head. "Wait here for a bit. I'm going out for a smoke."

As soon as Carter walked out, a pair of hands with a lavish, expensive manicure tapped on my desk.

"Hey."

I looked up and saw my Botox-faced bestie from yesterday.

"Oh, hi. You're in the same major as Carter?"

The beauty ignored my greeting and frowned. "Are you really dating Carter?"

"Yeah."

Her frown deepened. "You don't even know him! You're just with him because he threw some cash at you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have no morals? Have you thrown away your dignity for money?"

I looked at her, utterly confused.

"Do you hear yourself? Would you rather I keep my dignity and throw away the money?"

She grew agitated. "You... what kind of person are you?!"

"A hardworking, dedicated employee, obviously." I thought about it and added, "Don't even think about stealing my job. Cutting off my income is like murdering my parents. I'll fight you to the death."

"Who wants to steal your job?" Carter strolled casually through the back door.

I instantly switched faces, lowering my eyes to look pitiful and fragile.

"No one."

Carter scowled at her. "Why are you bothering my girlfriend?"

I tugged at Carter's sleeve, acting deeply wronged.

"It's okay, Hubby. Don't be mad at her. Even though she said I have no morals or dignity, I know she didn't mean it."

Carter glared at the beauty. "Jealous now? Too late."

He smoothly pulled me into his arms, stroking my hair to comfort me.

"It's okay, Sydney. Don't pay attention to her. Hubby will take you shopping for bags and clothes later to make up for it."

I desperately wanted to look up and ask him: Are we really buying stuff? If so, can I just take the cash equivalent?

But I didn't ask, because just as I was about to look up, Carter seemed to know exactly what I was planning. He effortlessly and firmly held my head down against his chest.

"You two are... disgusting!"

The beauty spat out the insult and stomped away in her stilettos.

Carter let go of me. "Alright, you can stop acting now. You're quite the drama queen."

"Just defending my boss's honor. It's my duty."

I sat proudly next to him. Watching the Botox beauty's retreating back in the distance, I couldn't resist prying.

"Baby, how did she make you so mad?"

Carter shot a nasty look at her back. "How else? She found some forty-something-year-old real estate developer and cheated on me."

"Wait, you're this handsome and rich. Why would she go for an old man?"

"Because she's blind." Carter leaned in, lowering his voice to complain:

"I had never dated anyone before. She followed me around for a year, so I figured, why not give it a shot? We dated for a month. Then she tells me her birthday is coming up and keeps dropping hints for me to buy her a designer bag.

"The bag was only three grand. I thought that was way too cheap and tacky, so I said no. I custom-ordered a BMW for her instead. But on her birthday, she ghosted me. The next night, I saw her stepping out of some old guy's car. She literally told me that if I wasn't willing to buy her things, plenty of other men would. She told me if I was broke, I shouldn't be dating and wasting her time.

"I lost my mind. You can insult a lot of things about me, but calling me broke?!"

"Ooooh" I nodded in realization.

So that's how I hit the jackpot.

"What a waste of my first relationship."

I solemnly patted his shoulder. "It's okay, you have me now. Your first love might have been a waste, but your thirty grand absolutely won't be. I promise to give you a Premium VIP dating experience."

Carter gave me a sideways glance. "You better work hard. If you keep me happy, renewing your contract for another six months or a year won't be a problem."

Ah, capitalists and their empty promises.