He Held Another While Loving Me

Three months into our marriage, my husband, Alfredo, died in a horrific car crash.

I was kneeling at his funeral, on the verge of fainting from sheer grief.

Suddenly, a stream of glowing bullet comments flashed across my field of vision.

[Don't cry, girl! Your husband isn't dead. The one who died was actually his older brother, Thomas.]

[He only swapped identities because he was terrified his pregnant sister-in-law, Winnie, wouldn't survive the shock of losing her husband.]

[Even though he's holding Winnie in his arms right now, his heart is actually secretly breaking for you.]

[Once Winnie gives birth to his brother's child, he'll reveal the truth to everyone.]

I stared at the man across the room, who was so carefully massaging my sister-in-law's legs.

A strange, cold clarity washed over me. I stood up, turned around, and walked straight to the hospital.

"I don't want this baby anymore."

Three months into our marriage, my husband, Alfredo, died in a horrific car crash.

I was kneeling at his funeral, my vision blurring, on the verge of fainting from sheer grief. It had been three days since the accident. My tears had completely run dry, leaving only a hollow, throbbing numbness in my chest. Beside me, my mother-in-law held her head in her hands, her loud, agonizing wails echoing off the walls.

My hand drifted to my coat pocket, where my positive pregnancy test lay. I had only received the results three days ago. I was about to pull it out and show it to his mother when a row of glowing, translucent words suddenly flashed across my field of vision.

[Don't cry, Sienna! Your husband isn't dead. The one who died was actually his older twin brother, Thomas.]

[He only swapped identities because he was terrified his pregnant sister-in-law, Winnie, wouldn't survive the shock of losing her husband.]

[Even though he's holding Winnie in his arms right now, his heart is actually breaking for you.]

[Once Winnie gives birth to his brother's child, he'll reveal the truth to everyone.]

My hand froze in my pocket. I slowly turned my head.

Standing next to Winnie was the man everyone believed to be Thomas. He wore a crisp black suit, his face pale and exhausted. When he looked at me, his eyes held a deeply buried, agonizing tenderness.

With that single look, my world fractured.

The glowing text was right. The man holding Winnie, whispering soft comforts into her ear, was indeed my husband, Alfredo.

[Poor guy, watching the woman he loves suffer so much and unable to say a word...]

[Well, Alfredo knows Sienna is strong and can get through this. But Winnie is fragile, plus she's carrying his brother's child.]

[Don't worry, Sienna. He'll make it up to you later...]

The comments continued to float before my eyes.

I slowly forced myself to stand, but my knees, numb from hours of kneeling, buckled beneath me.

Alfredo instinctively lunged forward to catch me, but he forgot he was holding Winnie's hand. The sudden pull caused Winnie to stumble with a soft gasp.

Alfredo immediately let go of his direction toward me, turning back to wrap his arms around her waist.

"Are you alright, Winnie?"

Winnies face flushed as she shook her head, whispering, "I'm fine. My foot just fell asleep, and I lost my balance."

Hearing her discomfort, a flash of deep worry crossed Alfredos face. "Don't be foolish. You're pregnant. Why didn't you say something if you were feeling unwell?"

Without a second thought, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to a padded chair by the wall. He knelt before her, gently sliding off her shoe, and placed her foot on his knee to massage it.

"Is that better?"

Winnie blushed, looking up at me with embarrassment. "Alfredo... I mean, Thomas, Sienna is still here..."

Hearing my name, Alfredo froze. He stood up stiffly, his eyes darting toward me, wanting to say something.

But my vision went black, and I collapsed onto the floor.

When I woke up, I was in the master bedroom of the family estate.

The lights were dimmed. Alfredo and his mother were standing near the window, their backs turned to me, speaking in hushed whispers.

"Alfredo, are you really going to keep Sienna in the dark?" my mother-in-law asked, her voice trembling. "You... you don't still love Winnie, do you?"

There was a long silence before Alfredo spoke.

"That's in the past," he said, his voice flat. "But Winnie is too delicate, and she is carrying Thomas's only child. I can't risk her health. Sienna has always been strong. She will get through this. Once Winnie's baby is born and I've settled her, I'll tell Sienna the truth. She will understand."

A cold, sharp pain pierced my chest.

I had met Alfredo when his relationship with Winnie was at its absolute worst. Winnie had just been announced as Thomas's girlfriend, and Alfredo had treated her with such hostility that he refused to be in the same room as her.

I had spent so much of our relationship trying to play the peacemaker, coaxing him to be kinder to her, wondering why he harbored such deep resentment.

Now, the pieces fell into place.

He didn't hate her. He loved her, and he hated that he couldn't have her.

Hearing his explanation, my mother-in-law let out a long sigh.

"You're right. Winnie is the one who is suffering the most right now. Go back to her room, Alfredo. She shouldn't be alone. I will stay here and watch over Sienna."

"Okay."

Alfredo turned, throwing a long, lingering look toward the bed.

I kept my eyes tightly closed, forcing my breathing to remain steady, while my fingernails dug deep into my palms. A wave of bitter nausea rose in my throat.

I had been nothing but a second choice, a safe harbor. And all those times I had tried to comfort him and patch up his relationship with Winnie, he must have looked at me and thought I was a pathetic joke.

For the past three days, I had blamed myself for his death. I thought he had died because he drove out in the middle of a storm to buy my favorite breakfast.

It was all a lie, a carefully orchestrated performance to protect his true love.

The pregnancy test in my pocket felt heavy against my skin.

I pulled the slip of paper out, staring at the black ink: Intrauterine pregnancy, approximately 6 weeks.

This paper was supposed to be my saving grace, my light in the dark. But now, it was a mockery.

Alfredo's words echoed in my head, cold and hollow.

Sienna has always been strong... I can't risk Winnie's health...

I looked at the tiny, blurred image of the scan. I gripped the edges of the paper.

Rip.

One tear, then another, until the medical report lay in a dozen neat pieces in my hand. I dropped them into the wastebasket beside the bed.

There was no room in this world for a child born of a lie, and there was no room in my heart for him anymore.

[Sienna, don't be sad! He really does love you!]

[He just wants to give his past love a safe, quiet closure. You should try to understand his position!]

[Are you people blind? He knelt down to rub her feet. That's disgusting.]

[I feel so sorry for her. She deserves so much better.]

Ignoring the comments, I stood up and walked downstairs.

In the dining room, Alfredo was sitting at the table, carefully picking the bones out of a piece of fish and placing the meat into Winnie's bowl.

I sat down opposite them. My pale face immediately drew their attention.

A flash of guilt crossed Alfredo's eyes. He silently deboned another piece of fish and placed it on my plate. "Eat something, Sienna. You've lost too much weight."

Suddenly, Winnie let out a soft retch.

Alfredo immediately pulled a napkin, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to guide her to the kitchen sink, helping her wash up without a single second of hesitation.

I looked at my plate, the appetite completely gone from my body.

My mother-in-law walked in, quickly placing a bowl of warm soup in front of me. "Sienna, drink some soup. You need to keep your strength up."

"Thank you, Mother."

I sipped the soup, but my chest remained cold.

When Alfredo and Winnie returned to the table, Winnie looked at me, her eyes red. "Sienna, does it hurt to look at Thomas's face? He looks so much like Alfredo. I'm sorry... I don't want to make you sad."

My mother-in-law dropped her spoon. The sharp clink of metal against porcelain echoed in the quiet room.

Alfredo kept his eyes on his plate, silent.

"So, sister-in-law, are you asking me to leave the house?" I asked plainly.

Winnie looked startled, her lower lip trembling. "No! I didn't mean that at all! I only thought... if it were Thomas who died, and I had to watch Alfredo and you together every day, I would die of grief. I only wanted to care for you, but I'm so clumsy with my words..."

Alfredos initial irritation at her words quickly melted into a soft, protective guilt. He was relieved. He was glad it was me who had to suffer this grief, and not his precious Winnie.

"You're right," I said, putting down my spoon. "The living must move on."

"I am moving out of the house today. If I decide to remarry in the future, I wouldn't want my new husband to feel uncomfortable."

The room went dead silent.

Alfredo slammed his hand on the table, standing up so quickly his chair scraped against the floor. "Sienna! My brother only died three days ago!"

"And?" I looked up, my eyes meeting his.

Alfredos hands clenched into tight fists, a sudden, sharp panic flashing in his eyes.

I laid my napkin on the table. "Thomas, you don't actually believe you have the right to demand I remain chaste for your deceased brother, do you?"

He choked on his words, his face turning red with frustration. He couldn't argue. To the world, he was Thomas.

My mother-in-law quickly tried to play the peacemaker. "Sienna, where would you go? This is your home!"

"Looking at Thomas's face only reminds me that my husband is dead," I said, standing up. "He is dead, and he is never coming back."

I looked at her, my expression calm. "Thank you for everything, Mother. But I am leaving today."

"Sienna!" Alfredo stepped forward, reaching out to grab my arm.

But Winnie suddenly gasped, clutching her stomach as she leaned against the table. "Thomas... my stomach... it hurts a little..."

Alfredo froze. His body reacted before his mind could, spinning around to catch her, his voice filled with a desperate panic. "Winnie! Where does it hurt? Should I call the doctor?"

That was a level of concern he had never shown me in all the days since the accident.

I didn't look back. I walked upstairs to pack my things.

There wasn't much to pack.

I folded my clothes and packed my essentials, stripping away my presence from the room like peeling off dead skin.

My mother-in-law followed me into the room, her eyes red as she took my hand. "Sienna, I beg you. For Alfredo's sake, stay with us. Just until your sister-in-law gives birth, please?"

"Does Alfredo really love only me, Mother?" I asked, looking her in the eye.

She flinched, her gaze darting away.

I let go of her hand, pulling the zipper of my suitcase shut. "Take care of yourself, Mother. From now on, pretend you never had me as a daughter-in-law."

I wheeled my suitcase out of the room.

In the living room, Winnie was resting on the sofa. Alfredo was kneeling beside her, holding a cup of warm water and speaking to her in a low, soothing tone.

They both looked up when they heard the wheels of my suitcase against the hardwood floor.

Winnie pushed the cup away, her eyes filling with tears. "Sienna, please don't go. I didn't mean to drive you away..."

Alfredo stood up, his face dark with anger as he grabbed my wrist. His grip was tight, almost painful.

"Sienna! Stop this!" he growled, a faint trace of panic hidden beneath his anger. "Where do you think you're going? You aren't well, and you're making Mother cry!"

"Let go, Thomas," I said, my voice empty. "Have some self-respect."

"I have my own life to live. I won't stay here and be an eyesore."

"What are you talking about?" Alfredo's voice rose. "Winnie is pregnant and emotional! Even if she said something insensitive, can't you be the mature one? You used to be so sensible!"

"Sensible?" I let out a dry laugh.

"Thomas, my husband has been dead for three days. And you want me to be understanding toward a pampered woman whose every need is met? Her pain is real, but mine is just a tantrum?"