I’ve Decided to Cancel My Love for You

Sally and I had been married for two years.

I was desperately obsessed with her.

She despised me.

Just how deep did that hatred run?

When I got into a car crash and shattered multiple bones in my body, I spent six months recovering in the exact hospital where she worked as an orthopedic surgeon.

She did not visit me a single time.

Nobody liked me anyway. Everyone said I was the toxic snake who chased away Nolan, the guy she actually loved.

When I first had the accident and lost all my mobility, the people around me were secretly happy for her.

They whispered, "Sally finally gets a break from him."

When it was time for me to be discharged, her friends were all holding their breath for her.

"Asher is getting out. He is going to ruin Sallys life again."

They were partly right. The very first thing I did after getting discharged was find Sally.

Except, I was not there to cling to her anymore.

I was there to hand her a document.

"Sally, this is what you wanted."

"What is this?"

I gave her a faint, empty smile.

"Open it and see for yourself. Sally, I do not want the house. I do not want the car. I wish you nothing but success. Let us never see each other again."

After handing over the divorce papers, I stepped back and melted into the crowd.

"Nurse, what is the deal with the guy in the next bed? Why does he never get any visitors?"

"Hmph. Probably karma. He did too many messed up things, so everyone abandoned him."

Trapped in a coma, I could hear the outside world perfectly.

In that pitch black void, I fought with every ounce of my strength to wake up, but my body refused to obey.

Finally, after a million failed attempts, the loud crash of a glass shattering in the next cubicle shocked my eyes open.

"Oh man! Buddy, you are awake!"

The older guy in the next bed gasped in shock.

I stared at the white ceiling tiles, unable to move a single muscle.

"Sorry about that, kid. I dropped my cup. Did I scare you awake?"

No. I should have been thanking him. If it was not for the shock of that crashing sound, I might have never woken up.

No one knew the sheer, suffocating terror I endured in that dark, silent world.

The news of my awakening reached the doctors quickly.

They rushed in, ran a battery of tests, and declared it a miracle.

But among that sea of white coats, Sally was nowhere to be found.

I had not heard her voice while I was under.

And now that I was awake, she was still absent.

"Where is Sally?" I rasped.

A few of the doctors exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"Dr. Evans... she is in surgery right now. She cannot get away."

"Oh."

"How is my condition?" I asked.

"When the crash happened, the back of your head took the brunt of the impact. You had significant blood pooling in your brain, which caused the coma. Your right arm is fractured, your left femur is severely broken, and you have multiple other minor fractures and soft tissue contusions. Long story short, you took a massive hit. You have been asleep for forty days. Thankfully, you were brought in fast enough. The blood in your brain is slowly absorbing, and we already operated on your fractures. You are in casts and on the mend."

When dinnertime rolled around, the older guy next to me, Arthur, turned his head while feeding his wife.

"Hey kid, who is this Dr. Evans you keep asking about? Someone important to you?"

She is my wife.

What kind of surgery takes eight hours? Your spouse wakes up from a coma, and you cannot spare a single minute to check on them?

I shook my head slowly. "We just know each other."

"Ah, got it." Arthur nodded. "What about your family then?"

The only person taking care of me was a hired orderly. During my coma, it was this stranger who sponged me down and emptied my catheter.

I was probably the most pathetic patient in the entire hospital.

I spun a quick lie.

"They live out of state. Health issues. They cannot travel."

My parents divorced when I was in middle school after my mom had an affair.

I was given to my mom. My dad was devastated and moved overseas.

My mom was a ruthless businesswoman, constantly flying from city to city. Aside from keeping my bank account maxed out, she had zero time for me.

Oh, right. Three years ago, she had a new baby girl with her new husband.

I was the one who chased Sally.

Actually, "chased" implies she eventually liked me back.

But even after we got married, she treated me like ice.

She never gave me even a fraction of the warmth she used to give Nolan.

If I had not forced Nolan out of the picture, she probably would have married him.

"Oh my god, your blood is backing up!" the orderly yelled, dropping my dinner tray.

I looked down. The IV tube plugged into the back of my hand was completely filled with my own dark blood.

The orderly slammed the call button.

The nurse who walked in was Blake, a guy I went to high school with.

Impatience was practically tattooed on his forehead. He aggressively ripped the medical tape off my skin and yanked the needle out without a shred of care.

It made sense. Back in school, almost everyone talked behind my back. They called me a pretty boy, a toxic snake, a guy who rode his wealthy family's coattails.

He swapped the tube and walked out without a word.

Even Arthur and the orderly were appalled.

The orderly picked up my bowl, preparing to feed me. "Maybe he is just having a bad day."

Arthur frowned. "No, I noticed it too. He only acts like a jerk to the kid here. When my wife needs her bandages changed, he is perfectly polite."

I did not defend myself. I just looked at the orderly.

"Could you buy me one of those overbed tables? Just put the food on there. I will feed myself."

My right arm was in a heavy cast. Only my left hand worked.

If this were the old me, I would have made Blake's life a living hell for treating me like that. But now, I felt completely hollow. I had no energy left to fight.

Sally finally walked in.

I was wrapped up like a mummy, clumsily trying to feed myself with my non dominant hand.

When she walked through the door, my spoon froze midair.

I must have looked incredibly pathetic in that moment.

She glanced at me for a split second, then immediately turned her attention to Arthur's wife in the next bed.

"How are we doing here?"

She was here to do rounds. On the patient next to me.

I lowered my head and mechanically shoveled food into my mouth. My entire body felt numb.

Arthur spoke up. "Doctor, thank god you are here. My wife said her elbow has been killing her."

Sally gently loosened the cast on the womans arm.

"Is that better?"

"Oh, much better. The pressure is gone."

Arthur looked confused. "Did they switch our doctor? We usually have Dr. Bennett."

"She had a family emergency. I am covering her rounds for the next two days."

"I see. You are so young to be a surgeon here at Mercy. Good for you. Got a boyfriend yet?"

Sally completely ignored the question.

"The cast was too tight and compressing the joint. If it happens again, page a nurse immediately."

After finishing with Arthur's wife, she lingered.

She did not leave.

I kept my head down, staring blankly at my hospital food.

A pair of pristine white sneakers appeared right next to my bed.

Before she could speak, a nurse came running down the hall.

"Dr. Evans! Emergency in the ER!"

The white sneakers spun around and vanished from my line of sight.

I looked out the window into the dark night, swallowing the lump in my throat.

After that, Sally never came back.

Dr. Bennett returned, so Sally did not need to cover our ward anymore.

I heard there was a massive multi car pileup on the highway that night, resulting in endless casualties.

Then I heard Sally went out of state for a medical exchange program.

When she came back, a severe apartment fire flooded the hospital with burn victims.

Later, rumor had it she was sent overseas for advanced training.

Long story short, she was busy.

The patients in the beds next to me changed time and time again.

The moment I was cleared to bear weight, I threw myself into physical therapy.

I had to stand on my own two feet again. I had to become a normal person.

No matter how agonizing the rehab was, I gritted my teeth and pushed through the pain in that sweat smelling gym.

Of course, during that time, I became a total joke among my old college circle.

The arrogant ice prince, bedridden, unable to wipe his own mouth, needing someone to serve him hand and foot.

We were all med students at Boston U once upon a time. But during my internship year, I severely injured my hand. I could never hold a scalpel again, so I gave up the profession.

A lot of my former classmates ended up working here at Mercy.

None of them pitied me. They all thought this was my karma.

After all, everyone believed I was the monster who bullied Nolan into leaving the country.

"Your gait is completely normal now. Outstanding work."

Four months later, when I walked a full lap without parallel bars, my physical therapist clapped loudly.

"Thank you for everything."

"Do not thank me. Your willpower is insane. Honestly, your femur was shattered. You had one of the worst breaks I have seen in years, and yet, throughout this entire grueling process, you never cried out in pain once."

I smiled faintly and did not say a word.

I was officially discharged.

I signed my own paperwork, hailed a cab, and left the hospital behind.

It had been nearly six months since I last stepped foot in my own home. I stood in the hallway, staring at the door in silence, before pressing my thumb to the biometric lock.

The door clicked open. The air inside smelled like dust.

Just as I suspected, Sally rarely came home either.

I cleared off the sofa and opened the takeout container of lean pork porridge I bought downstairs.

After two bites, my phone buzzed on the coffee table.

I stared at the messages popping up in the college group chat. I went dead silent.

"Asher got discharged."

"Damn, already? I thought he was practically crippled."

"He is going to start harassing Sally again. She must owe him a massive debt from a past life to be cursed with him."

"Hey, shut up, he is still in this chat. If he sees this, he will ruin your career too."

"Oh crap, wrong chat."

Instantly, the messages were unsent.

I locked my phone screen, picked up my spoon, and finished my cold porridge.

I slept alone that night. Sally did not come home.

When dawn broke, I rubbed my stiff eyes, taking a long moment to gather my bearings. I got up, showered, and got dressed.

I grabbed the manila envelope sitting on the coffee table and walked to the door.

Before pulling it shut, I paused, taking one last look at the beautiful three bedroom apartment I had meticulously designed.

With a heavy thud, the door closed.

I found Sally in the hallway outside the orthopedics department.

They had just finished their morning briefing. A crowd of doctors in white coats was streaming out of the conference room.

When she saw me, her fingers froze on the clipboard she was holding.

The doctor walking next to her gave us a knowing look and quickly hurried away.

I do not know how I managed to smile as I walked up to her.

Maybe it was the sheer relief of not being paralyzed.

Or maybe I had just finally let it all go.

Her skin was flawless, though faint dark circles shadowed her eyes. Still, nothing could hide how effortlessly breathtaking she was.

She spoke first, her tone defensive.

"Sorry. Yesterday, I was booked for three back to back surgeries. By the time I finished, the nurses said you had already signed your papers and left."

I nodded calmly and handed her the manila envelope.

"This is for you."

"What is this?" A flash of confusion crossed her eyes.

I shrugged, offering her a smile completely free of burden.

"Open it and see for yourself. It is what you always wanted. Sally, I do not want the house, and I do not want the car. I wish you nothing but success. Let us never see each other again."

After handing over the divorce papers, I stepped back and melted into the crowd.