Revenge Of The Househusband

Through the haze of cigarette smoke, she crushed out her ember and delivered the reason for the divorceshe had fallen in love with our sons classmate.

I agreed without a seconds hesitation. I had already lived through this once.

In my previous life, I had been the stubborn fool who refused to let go. I had clung to the wreckage of our marriage, only for her young lover to be whisked away into a marriage of convenience by his own family. The fallout broke her. She spiraled into alcoholism and eventually suffered a massive stroke that left her paralyzed.

For ten years, I was her shadow. I cared for her every need, day in and day out, until I finally nursed her back onto her feet. And the very first thing she did once she could walk again? She took our son by the hand and forced me into a divorce.

"Its your fault for not letting her go back then!" my son had screamed at me. "Mom wouldn't have gotten sick, and my life wouldn't have been this pathetic!"

Under the pressure of his suicide threats, I finally signed the papers. Later, she married their former male housekeeper, while I was diagnosed with a terminal illness. That mother and son duo coldly rejected every single one of my pleas for help. In my final moments of consciousness, I felt nothing but a vast, freezing desolation.

But then, I opened my eyes. I was back on the day she asked for the divorce.

This time, I calmly exhaled two words: "Okay. Fine."

She snapped her head up, her face a mask of shock. "What did you say? Say that again!"

I spewed a large piece of pot roast into my mouth, chewing casually. "I said the divorce is fine. We split the assets fifty-fifty. Any objections?"

She knit her brows, looking down in silent contemplation. She didn't speak.

I served myself a massive bowl of mashed potatoes and began eating with a vengeance. In my last life, I had gone three days without a drop of water or a bite of food before the illness finally took me. Now, I was going to eat my fill.

Mona sighed, a look of weary condescension on her face. "David, Im being serious. Im in love with Jordan, and he feels the same way about me."

"I know theres a twenty-five-year gap between us, but our souls are entwined. As my partner for the first half of my life, you should respect my choice. You should give us your blessing."

I nodded. "Sure. Honestly, Im tired of living with you anyway."

She froze again. Then, a flicker of genuine delight crossed her features.

"Youre... youre not just saying that? Youre not planning to make a scene?"

I gave her a silent shrug of confirmation.

She rubbed her hands together, visibly vibrating with excitement. "Good. Im glad youve reached this level of self-awareness! I suppose twenty years with me rubbed a little bit of class off on you after all."

"Look, well split the assets three ways. One for you, one for me, and one for our son. Thats more than fair, and its my way of doing right by you."

"Im staying with Mom," our son, Lucas, chimed in suddenly, not looking up from his phone. "She can manage my share of the money."

Mona let out a sharp, triumphant laugh. "Perfect! That means two-thirds for me, one-third for you. Really, David, its a generous deal. Youve been a stay-at-home dad for twenty years; you haven't exactly contributed to the household income. Youve lived off me all this time. Taking a third is plenty. Be grateful."

Lucas waved his phone in the air. "Dad, I recorded you saying youd agree to the divorce. Dont even think about backing out."

I looked at my son. Quietly. Steadily.

A phantom ache throbbed in my chest. This was my flesh and blood. Once, I believed we were a team.

In the previous timeline, when Mona first brought up the divorce, my first thought was of him. He was studying for the Bar exam. He needed his mothers academic connections and her financial backing. I knew Monaif I divorced her then, she would have washed her hands of him to pursue her "true love."

And I was just a fifty-year-old man with no career, no savings, and a resume that had been blank for two decades. I couldn't help him. I feared hed fail his exams, lose his social standing, and never find a partner. So, I bit my tongue. I endured the humiliation. I kept the hollow shell of a marriage together just for his sake.

How was I rewarded? Years later, he was the one who drove me to a dilapidated shack in the middle of nowhere and left me to rot. He didn't even buy me a bag of rice, let alone take me to a doctor.

When I begged him over the phone, he had responded with ice in his voice: "If you die, you die. A useless man like you doesn't contribute anything to society anyway. You're just wasting oxygen."

Remembering that, I smiled faintly. "Dont worry, Lucas. Im not going to fight your mother for you. Even if you wanted to come with me, I wouldn't take you."

His expression shifted for a split second, then curdled into a sneer. "Give it a rest. No matter what you say, Im not choosing you. What can you even do for me?"

"Jordan is like a brother to me. Once he marries Mom, well be closer than ever. Hes got a Masters degree, hes young, hes brillianthes actually a match for a professor like Mom. When you stand next to her, you look like her gardener."

He stuck his tongue out at me like a petulant child. "Ill have two cultured, educated people taking care of me now. I dont need you."

He tossed his fork onto the table and sauntered back to his room.

I looked at the remnants of the dinner hed mostly inhaled. I looked at the laundry drying on the balcony that I had scrubbed. I looked at the potted plants he bought and never watered. I looked at the pet turtle he cried for and then never fed.

I had done everything for him. And in his eyes, all that effort was worthless because it didn't come with a salary. His mother was a professor, so even if she did nothing, she was a giant. I had no job, so even though I carried his entire world on my shoulders, I was trash.

A son like this? I didnt want him anymore.

After finishing my meal, I walked out the door.

At the bottom of the stairs, I ran into Mona and Jordan. They were laughing, no longer bothering to hide it. They stood there, fingers entwined, glowing with a nauseatingly sweet intimacy.

I acted as if they were invisible, brushing past them.

"Hey, Dave!" Jordan called out. He beamed at me, his smile bright and predatory. "Going out, Dave?"

"You might want to stay out late. Id hate for you to come home too early and see something you can't handle. Like... this."

He leaned in and kissed Mona deeply, making a wet, deliberate sound that would have made any husbands blood boil. Mona looked slightly uncomfortable, her eyes darting around.

When he finished, Jordan grinned again. "By the way, Mona said shes buying me a massive estate in the Hamptons. Did you know? Have you ever even stayed in a place like that? Probably not."

"Tell you what, after the divorce, you can come over and be our housekeeper. That way, you can finally see how the other half lives." He winked, as if he were wishing me well.

The first time I met Jordan, he had that same innocent, sweet smile. He said he wanted to prep for his exams and asked if my wife could tutor him. Three weeks into those "sessions," I heard his heavy breathing coming from her study.

I just love the taste of a sophisticated, mature woman, he had whispered.

Last time, I tried to stop them. This time, I was going to make sure they got exactly what they deserved: each other.

I hailed a car and went straight to a labor agency. I hired six men and drove them out to my parents old farm in the countryside. It was the only thing they had left me. It had been abandoned for over a decade, overgrown with weeds.

This was the place where I had died in the other life. When Lucas threw me out, I slept on the floor with the insects for days.

In that life, Lucas had pointed to a hole in the floorboards and laughed. "You never guessed, did you? Mom hid over a million dollars in cash! All those 'consultation fees' and gifts from students' parents over the years... she stashed the kickbacks right here in this dump!"

One point two million dollars.

She hadn't touched a dime of it when she was paralyzed. She let Lucas blow her pension on parties while I worked odd jobs to pay for her physical therapy. And then, the moment she recovered, she dug it up to buy herself a new husband. She wouldn't even give me ten thousand for my treatment.

Well, this time, I was taking what was mine.

After securing the money in a safe, private location, I took a week-long solo trip. I spent those seven days slowly ticking off the regrets of my past life.

Mona sent me daily texts, her patience wearing thin.

[Im sick of looking at your junk. Get back here and move it out!]

[How much longer are you going to hide?]

When I finally returned, I looked like a different person. My skin was clear, my eyes were bright. The neighbors all commented that I looked ten years younger.

"I'm getting divorced," I told them with a grin. "Turns out, not being a servant to an old woman is great for the complexion."

They roared with laughter. Naturally, the conversation turned to the local gossiphow a certain young man managed to stomach the idea of kissing an aging professor.

My apartment was on the second floor. I could see Jordan standing on the balcony, looking down and spitting toward us in a fit of pique.

I pushed the door open and went to change my shoes, only to find my slippers were gone. Fine. I didn't need them.

I scanned the living room. Everything had been replaced. Even the curtains were different.

Jordan swaggered out of the kitchen. "Hey, Dave. Your taste was hideous, so I tossed everything. You don't mind, do you? I mean, youre moving out anyway, right?"

I remained calm. "Actually, Im glad you did. I was tired of looking at that stuff too."

His face flushed red. Young men are so impatient; one sentence and he was already losing his cool. "David! Your wife doesn't want you! How can you even show your face here? Look! The wedding photos are of me and her now. The family photos are me, her, and Lucas. There's no room for you!"

I glanced at the photos. I chuckled. "If I recall correctly, the papers haven't been filed yet. Legally, Im still the only husband in this house."

"So what? She doesn't love you!" he screamed, loud enough for the whole building to hear.

Just then, the front doorwhich hadn't been latchedwas kicked open. A middle-aged couple burst in.

"Jordan!" the man yelled. He was trembling with rage, his eyes bloodshot.

Jordan turned pale. "Dad? Mom? What are you doing here?"

He looked at me, realization dawning. "You! You snake!"

Before he could finish, his mother slapped him across the face. "We worked ourselves to the bone to put you through school, and this is how you repay us? Being a homewrecker? Get your things. Youre coming home!"

Mona walked in from work just then, her academic composure ready to "negotiate." She was met with a flurry of insults and nearly caught a stray fist from Jordan's mother. They scuffled until the couple dragged a sobbing Jordan out the door.

I sat there, sipping a cup of tea, until the house was quiet again.

Mona wiped a smear of blood from her nose. She looked at me with cold, dead eyes. "Were going to the lawyer this afternoon. Im giving Jordan a legal title. Im making this official."

I smiled. "You think his parents will let that happen?"

"Thats my problem! You just sign the papers, and everything else is fine!"

I shook my head. "Ive thought about it for a few days. Ive decided Im not divorcing you."

Monas face transformed into a mask of fury. "You... what?"

I held up my hands. "You were right. Im just a house husband. Jordan said if we divorce, Ill end up as a janitor. So why would I leave? I don't care what you do or who you see anymore. Im staying for the status."

She slammed her hand on the table, her face contorting. "You have to leave!"

This desperate rage was exactly like her old self. In the other life, I had stayed because I still loved her. This time, staying was just a strategy.

"Mona, youre a professor. Youre supposed to be the smart one. Let's look at the math. What did I get out of this marriage?"

"Did I get diamonds? Wealth? A life of leisure? No."

"I got twenty years of grocery shopping, scrubbing toilets, and raising an ungrateful brat who treats me like dirt."

She stared at me, her bravado slowly leaking away. She opened her mouth to speak several times, but nothing came out. Finally, she managed, "I offered you a third of the money!"

I set down my tea. "You have eighteen thousand dollars in your savings account. A third is six thousand. How long is that supposed to last me? I don't even have a place to live."

"This house was mine before we married!"

I nodded. "Exactly. Divorce has zero benefits for me. So, go ahead and play with whoever you want. I truly don't care anymore."

"Youre being unreasonable! Greedy! Youre a small-minded, petty man! Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!"

I looked her in the eye. "Get his things out of here. If I have to do it, I won't be gentle."

I walked into the master bedroom and began tossing Jordans designer clothes out into the hallway.

Lucas came home and unleashed a barrage of profanity at me. I simply put on my noise-canceling headphones, sat on the couch, and started a movie.

At dinner, the two of them sat at the table, glaring at me with sour faces. "Wheres dinner?" Lucas snapped.

I shrugged. "Are you joking? After the way you've treated me, you expect me to cook for you?"

I went to the door, picked up the takeout Id ordered for one, and went into my room to eat.

This went on for three days. Finally, Lucas snapped.

"I can't take it anymore, Mom! Just give him what he wants!"

"This apartment isn't even that nice, and your savings are chump change anyway!"

"Im sick of his cooking! When Jordan moves in, hell cook for us!"

"You have to decide now! Jordan's parents are trying to send him out of state!"

Five minutes later, Mona knocked on my door.

"Fine. If you sign the divorce papers today... you can have the apartment and the savings. All of it."