The Dead Weight Is A CEO

Seven years. Thats how long it took for Damian Whitaker to dump me for the seventh time.

It was the same script as the previous six: Youre just not on my level, June.

But this time, I didnt beg. I didnt cry. I didnt offer to change. I just looked him in the eye and said, Okay.

Three days ago, I froze every credit card in his familys possession.

Two days ago, I repossessed the car he let his sister drive.

Yesterday, I moved out of the luxury apartment Id been paying for.

Now, as I sit on a plane bound for a new life, my phone is vibrating non-stop. Forty-seven missed calls. The caller IDs range from Damian himself to his meddling aunt. For seven years, I was their personal ATM, the invisible engine behind their lifestyle.

I look at the notifications, mark them all as read, and don't reply to a single one.

Damian chose a high-end steakhouse for our seventh breakup. It was the kind of place where the tasting menu starts at three hundred dollars a head.

I sat across from him, my steak barely touched, when he slapped his linen napkin onto the table.

June, were done. This isn't working.

I held my glass of lemon water mid-air. I wasnt shocked. I was counting.

The first time was sophomore year of college because I didnt buy him those limited-edition sneakers.

The second was graduation because the company I interned for wasn't a Fortune 500.

The third through sixth were a blur of excuses: my salary was too low, I wasn't "romantic" enough, his father didn't approve of my background, andmy personal favoritehe thought his coworkers wife dressed better.

Seven. Lucky number seven.

I looked at the medium-rare ribeye that had just been served. And the reason this time?

Damian arched an eyebrow and flipped his phone around. On the screen was a photo of a handbag. A limited-edition Herms, priced at eighty-six thousand dollars.

You got me a two-hundred-dollar briefcase for my birthday, June. Honestly, do you even care about me? Or are you just cheap?

A two-hundred-dollar briefcase. I had spent three weekends scouring boutique shops to find the exact designer collaboration hed liked on Instagram. Id stood at the counter for forty minutes debating the leather grain.

To him, two hundred dollars meant I didnt have a heart.

I set the water down. The glass hit the mahogany table with a soft, final thud.

Okay.

The word hung in the air, and Damians expression was a sight to behold. He blinked, the condescending smirk on his face freezing before it slowly dissolved into confusion.

What did you say? his voice rose an octave.

I said okay. Were over. I glanced at the bill, flagged down the server, and pulled out my wallet. Check, please.

June! Damian slammed his hand on the table, making the silverware jump. Youre not even going to fight for this?

I did a quick mental audit. The standard operating procedure for the last six breakups was as follows:

1. Apologize (whether it was my fault or not).

2. Send a "makeup" Venmo (the amount increased every year; the last one was five figures).

3. Buy a peace offering gift.

4. Take him to a five-star dinner.

5. Call his father to give a "progress report" on how I was bettering myself.

6. Apologize again.

Each cycle took about three days and cost me at least twenty thousand dollars.

Twenty thousand dollars. In a diversified index fund with a 7% return, I was losing a fortune every year just to keep him happy.

Today was the seventh time. I looked at Damiansitting there with his hair professionally styled on my dime, wearing the Tom Ford suit Id bought him, complaining about a gift that wasnt expensive enoughand the chandelier above us suddenly felt blindingly bright.

Damian. I stood up and tucked two hundred-dollar bills under the sugar caddy. This time, you get exactly what you asked for.

I grabbed my coat. Turned. Walked toward the door.

Behind me, I heard the screech of a chair being shoved backmetal legs scraping against the marble floor.

June! You get back here right now!

the heavy glass doors of the restaurant swung shut behind me. His voice was muffled, the tail end of his shout trembling with something that sounded suspiciously like panic.

I didnt look back. I hailed a cab in less than two minutes. The moment the door clicked shut, the sound of the city and the possibility of him chasing me were cut off.

My phone buzzed three times.

The first was a sixty-second voice memo from Damian. I didn't play it.

The second was a screenshot from our mutual friend, Marcuswait, no, let's call him Mark. It was Damians latest Instagram story: a photo of a glass of Scotch and a single rose. The caption: Finally cut the dead weight. I can finally breathe again!

Below it were a dozen comments from his "bros": About time, man! You deserve a queen, not a peasant. Onwards and upwards!

The third message was from Piper: Did the prince throw another tantrum? Want me to come pick you up?

I stared at Damians post for six seconds. I screenshort it and saved it into a folder on my phone titled "The Breakup Ledger." It already held six similar screenshots. Every time we broke up, hed post something high-and-mighty, wait for me to crawl back, and then delete it.

Number seven.

I texted Piper back: Yeah. But this is the last one. I mean it.

By the time I got back to the apartment, it was nearly eleven. The hallway light was flickering, and it took three tries to jam the key into the lock.

When the lights flickered on, the apartment greeted me like a curated museum of my own financial labor.

The cashmere throw on the sofaI bought that.

The designer humidifermine.

The high-end projectormine.

The Wagyu steaks and oysters in the fridgeall me.

The oversized canvas print above the consoleId hauled that home and mounted it myself.

This three-bedroom penthouse overlooking the riverthe lease was in my name.

Seven thousand dollars a month.

I stood in the entryway, kicked off one heel, and just looked. Every single thing my eyes touched was connected to me. Except for the framed photo on the dresser of Damian and his friends on a yacht Id rented for his thirty-first birthday.

I took off the other shoe. I pulled three collapsed moving boxes out from the top of the coat closetleftovers from when we moved in.

I took a deep breath. And I started packing.

The closet: my clothes took up a third of the left side. His took up the rest, plus the extra storage bins. I folded my pieces one by one. It was a fluid, practiced motion. After all, Id done this during breakup number four. Back then, Id finished packing only to have Damian call the next morning, and Id moved it all back in.

Not this time.

Books from the shelfpacked.

My set of professional Japanese knives from the kitchencleaned, dried, and boxed.

The electric toothbrush in the bathroommine.

The fiddle-leaf fig Id nursed for two years on the balconycoming with me.

I packed until 1:00 AM. The three boxes were brimming. The living room looked skeletal now, missing its soul. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead and sat on the floor.

The phone vibrated. Damian. I watched the screen for three seconds before hitting "Decline."

It vibrated again. Damian. "Decline."

The third time, it was a different number. Damians father.

I closed my eyes, switched the phone to silent, and shoved it into my pocket. I went to the desk and pulled out a leather-bound notebook. It contained a list Id started on a whim months ago.

The header: Expenses Incurred for the Whitaker Family.

I flipped through the pages. Rent, car payments, health insurance premiums, spa memberships, authorized user spend on my Amex, holiday gifts, the "loans" to Stacy that were never repaid, his mothers hospital co-pays Id covered...

The grand total: 0-0.23 million.

I stared at that number. I was the woman he called "not on his level." I was the "dead weight" who had spent over a million dollars on his family in seven years.

I snapped the notebook shut. I stood up, my knees popping in the quiet room.

Right, I whispered to the empty apartment. Seventh time's the charm.

I stacked the boxes by the door. Turned out the lights. Went to the bedroom for one last night of sleep in this place.

Tomorrow, I would begin the surgical process of removing myself from Damian Whitakers life, one stitch at a time.

I woke up at 6:00 AM, before the alarm could even chime. My phone was a graveyard of notificationseleven unread texts, three missed calls. All from Damian and his father.

I didnt open them. Instead, I called my landlord.

Hey, its June. Im breaking the lease. Effective immediately.

June? Youre leaving? What about Damian? He told me you guys were renewing for another two years.

We broke up. Check the contract; Ill pay the early termination fee.

There was a pause. Again? Didnt you say this last time? You were back in a week.

This isn't a week-long thing. Its a forever thing. The keys will be on the counter. Damian is still there, but youll need to talk to him about moving out by the end of the month. The lease is in my name, and Im done paying for it.

I hung up and called a local moving service. Within forty minutes, my three boxes and my fiddle-leaf fig were loaded into a van.

Before I left, I took one last look. I left the groceriesmoving them was a hassle. I left the sofait was a custom sectional that wouldn't fit through the door of my new place anyway.

I set the keys on the entryway table. The door clicked shut with a finality that felt like a period at the end of a very long, very exhausting sentence.

At noon, I was at a quiet bistro near Pipers office, picking at a salad. My phone lit up. A text from Damian:

Where the hell are you? Where are the throw pillows from the sofa? Did you seriously take the plant? Youre being pathetic, June.

The throw pillows. Id bought them on clearance for fifty bucks. Damian had mocked the color for months until he realized they were the perfect height for propping up his head while he binged Netflix. The plant? Hed never watered it once.

I didn't reply.

At 2:00 PM, the phone buzzed again. This time it was the landlord:

June, I told Damian about the lease. He... uh, he didn't take it well. He seems to think Im joking. Don't worry, the paperwork is strictly in your name. I'll handle the eviction process if he isn't out by the 30th.

Thanks, Sam, I replied.

At 4:00 PM, Damian finally called. I decided to pick up.

June! Did you seriously tell the landlord were moving?! His voice was a jagged shard of glass, echoing the way it had in the restaurant. I could picture him pacing the living room, his face flushed with indignation.

Yes.

Are you insane? This is our home! You cant just cancel it!

Damian, I signed the lease. I paid the rent. We broke up. Im not renewing. Whats the confusion?

Silence on the other end for five long seconds. Then, his tone shifted. It was a pivot I knew by heartthe first stage of the "Post-Breakup Damian" cycle. The voice became smooth, dripping with a condescending pity that barely masked his panic.

Oh, I see. This is a stunt. Youre trying to force my hand, trying to make me beg you to stay. Its beneath you, June. Really.

I switched the phone to my other ear. In the past, this was where Id scramble to explain myself, tell him it wasn't a stunt, and then hed graciously "allow" me to pay the next month's rent as an apology.

You have until the end of the month to pack, I said.

I hung up.

Five minutes later, Damians father roared into my voicemail.

June! What is the meaning of this? You break up with my son and then try to throw him onto the street? You weren't this cold-hearted when you were begging for his attention in college!

I called him back. Mr. Whitaker. The rent is seven thousand dollars a month. We are no longer together, so I am no longer paying it. If you think the apartment is so vital to Damians well-being, feel free to sign a new lease in your name. Sam has the paperwork. Its first, last, and a security deposit.

The line went dead silent.

Seven thousand. Im willing to bet hed never actually asked about the price. In his mindfueled by his perception of me as a "middle-class girl"the rent was probably a couple thousand at most.

Seven... seven thousand? he stammered.

Yes. Its a luxury penthouse in the West Loop. Thats market rate. Goodbye, Mr. Whitaker.

I put the phone on the table and went back to my salad. The lettuce was wilted, and the vinaigrette was starting to separate.

Piper sat across from me, her legs crossed, tapping a pen against her chin. How does it feel?

What?

Having a spine. Having a backbone after all these years. Does it feel good?

Don't start, I muttered.

No, seriously, Piper leaned in. Are you really done this time?

I swallowed a bite of arugula. Piper, seven thousand times twelve times seven. Do the math.

Thats... over half a million?

$588,000. Just in rent. Thats what it cost me to be told I wasn't good enough for seven years.

Piper stopped tapping her pen. She took a long sip of her iced coffee and shook her head. You weren't soft-hearted, June. You were just being a martyr. Im glad you finally quit the job.

She turned her phone screen toward me. Damian had just posted again:

Some people show their true colors the moment they dont get their way. Imagine being so bitter youd evict your own boyfriend. Talk about a lack of class.

The comments were a dumpster fire of support.

Red flag city!

Bullet dodged, bro!

She was always a social climber.

I looked at it for three seconds. Then I pushed the phone back. He can post whatever he wants.

Youre not angry?

Why would I be? He doesn't even know how much his own lifestyle costs. Do you think the people commenting have any idea?

Piper smirked. Fair point. So, whats on the agenda for tomorrow?

I grabbed my jacket. Tomorrow? Tomorrow, I take back the car.

The car was a white Volkswagen Passat. Not a supercar, but in the Whitaker household, it was known as Stacys Executive Transport.

Id been paying the four-hundred-dollar monthly note for three years. Two years left on the loan. The title and registration? In my name.

The reason? Stacys credit score was so abysmal that the bank had laughed her out of the dealership.

For three years, Stacy had used that car for:

30% "Networking."

20% "Meeting clients."

50% Picking up boyfriends, going to brunch, and driving to the high-end spa in the suburbs every Friday.

Stacy called it "the cost of doing business."

Last night, Id given my spare key to Piper. At 7:30 AM, Piper texted: The bird has flown. Car is parked in my secure garage. By the way, theres a fresh scrape on the rear passenger door.

New? I asked.

Looks like it. Your former sister-in-law has the spatial awareness of a drunk toddler.

I sighed. Expected.

At 8:15 AM, Stacys meltdown arrived right on schedule. My phone exploded.

Damian: You took the car too??? Are you even human???

Stacy: YOU BITCH!! You stole my car!! Im calling the cops!!!

Damians Dad: June, there is such a thing as common decency. Youve crossed the line.

Then Stacy called. I ignored it. She called again. And again. On the fifth try, it was a blocked number. I answered.

Hello?

JUNE, YOU Stacys voice was practically vibrating with rage. I could hear the wind whipping past her; she was likely standing in her parking spot. You stole my car! Ive already called the police! Youre going to jail!

Stacy, I said, my voice so flat it surprised me. The car is registered to me. I pay the note. I pay the insurance. I had a friend move my car to a secure location. Thats called exercising ownership. Please, go ahead and call the police.

The sound of her breathing on the other end was like a bellows. I... I have a massive meeting this afternoon! How am I supposed to get there?

Theres a bike-share station on the corner. Wear a helmet.

I hung up.

I found out later, via Pipers friend who works as a dispatcher, that Stacy actually did show up at the local precinct. She apparently burst in like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, screaming about a stolen white Passat.

The officer ran the plates. Maam, the owner of this vehicle is a June Chen. Is that you?

No! But Im the one who drives it! Shes my... my brothers ex-girlfriend! She took it without my permission!

The officer didn't even look up from his computer. So... the owner took her own car?

Yes! I meanno! I mean, I have a right to use it!

Stacy apparently stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish, while an elderly man waiting for a background check stared at her.

Maam, the officer said, finally looking up. A car owner disposing of their own property isn't theft. If you have a civil dispute regarding a loaner agreement, take it to court. Next!

Stacy sat on the plastic chair in the lobby for five minutes, her face turning a deep, humiliated crimson. Then she walked out, pulled out her phone, and tried to scan a rental bike.

First bike: Insufficient credit score.

Second bike: Insufficient credit score.

Third bike: Account suspended.

She stood in the middle of a row of bikes, looking up at the sky as if waiting for a lightning bolt to strike me down. She ended up taking an Uber.

When she arrived at her "business meeting"which was actually a pitch for a mid-level multi-level marketing schemeshe was forty minutes late. The "investor" was already checking his watch.

Late start, Stacy?

Traffic was... insane.

You took an Uber? I thought you drove that Passat?

Stacys jaw tightened. Its... in the shop for detailing.

The meeting was a disaster. She left with a face that shifted between green and grey. That night, she posted on Facebook: Some people are so desperate for revenge theyll even steal a car. Small-minded behavior at its finest.

Two likes. One from her dad, one from Damian.

I screenshort it. Added it to the Ledger.

Piper watched me save the image and shuddered. Youre acting like a ghost-hunter, collecting all this evidence. Whats it for?

Nothing. Just documentation. Just in case.

Youre scary when youre done, June, Piper said. You hide the knives so well.

I didn't answer. I swiped a notification on my phone.

Account ending in 6173: Quarterly dividend of $2,340,000.00 has been deposited.

I cleared the notification. Tomorrow, there was more work to be done. The Whitaker ATM was officially going into permanent "Out of Order" status.

The following day, I made three phone calls.

At 9:00 AM, I called my insurance provider. Id like to cancel the supplemental health coverage on my policy. Not for me, for the additional insured.

Certainly, Ms. Chen. Policy number? Ah, I see. Youd like to remove Mrs. Evelyn Whitaker?

Correct.

May I ask the reason?

Personal reasons.

Done. Eight minutes.

At 9:20 AM, I called the high-end spa in the suburbs. I purchased a pre-paid annual membership for a Mr. Damian Whitaker Sr. I am the payer, June Chen. Id like to request a refund for the remaining balance.

Maam, memberships are usually non-refundable

Check Section 6 of the contract. The payer retains the right to freeze or refund the balance upon proof of payment. Just send the remaining funds back to the original card.

A brief silence while she checked with a manager. Yes, we can do that. A refund of 0-04,600 will be processed in three to five business days.

At 9:40 AM, I called my bank. I need to cancel an authorized user on my credit card. Her name is Stacy Whitaker.

Understood. Please note that any pending transactions will be the responsibility of the primary cardholder until the next billing cycle.

Im aware. Close the entire account while youre at it. Ill open a new one.

Three calls. Forty minutes.

Seven years of financial umbilical cords, severed in less time than it takes to get an oil change.

I leaned back on the sofa in Pipers office and stared at the ceiling. There was a water stain up there that looked a bit like a lopsided rabbit.

Piper walked in with two coffees. She looked at my face and set the cups down. Finished?

Yeah.

How do you feel?

Like I just had a wisdom tooth pulled thats been aching for seven years. Its bleeding, but I can finally breathe.

--------

At 1:00 PM, the first bomb went off.

Damians father was currently at the spa, halfway through a "Gentlemans Executive Package"a deep-cleansing facial and a botanical wrap. Id paid for the whole year as a retirement gift.

Piper heard the story later from a girl she knew who worked the front desk.

Mr. Whitaker was lying on the heated table, eyes closed, steam drifting over his face. He was at peace. Then, a soft knock at the door.

Mr. Whitaker? We have a bit of a situation with your account.

What situation? he grunted, not opening his eyes.

The payer has requested a full refund and frozen the balance. We can't continue with the service.

His eyes snapped open. He sat up so fast the botanical mask slid down his face and hung off his chin like a soggy beard. Half his face was covered in white cream; the other half was bare.

He stood in the lobby, shouting loud enough for the entire spa to hear. What do you mean she refunded it? It was a gift! Its mine! She cant do that!

The receptionists hand was shaking on the mouse. Sir... the contract says the payer has the rights. Maybe you should call her?

He pulled out his phone. He looked at my name in his contacts and saw the last three texts hed sent meall of them insulting. His thumb hovered for a second. He deleted them. Then he called.

I didn't pick up.

At 2:00 PM, the second bomb.

Damians mother went to her local pharmacy to pick up her monthly maintenance medicationsblood pressure and diabetes meds. With the supplemental insurance Id been paying for, her out-of-pocket was less than twenty bucks.

The pharmacist scanned her card. Then scanned it again.

Maam, your supplemental policy has been terminated. Without it, the total for today is $4,216.

Mrs. Whitakers hand froze on the counter. She had never worried about money a day in her life. First, her husband handled it, and then, for the last seven years, the bills just seemed to disappear. She didn't even know what the insurance was; she just knew she scanned the card and got her pills.

Four thousand dollars.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a worn wallet. Three hundred in cash. A debit card with less than five hundred in the account.

The line behind her was getting restless. Maam? Are you taking them or not?

She tucked her wallet back in, lowered her head, and walked out without her medicine.

At 3:00 PM, the third bomb.

Stacy was taking a group of "influencer" friends out for Korean BBQ. By the end of the meal, the table was littered with empty bottles of soju and premium ribeye bones. Everyone was toastin "Stacy the Boss."

Stacy patted her stomach and waved the server over. Its on me, guys.

She pulled out the authorized user card and handed it over with a flourish. Two minutes later, the server returned.

Im sorry, maam. This card was declined. It says the account is closed.

Try it again.

The server came back. Still nothing. The system says the card has been voided.

Stacys neck turned hot. Six sets of eyes were pinned on her.

Probably a... a bank error, she stammered. She pulled out her phone to pay via an app. Her balance: seventy-three dollars and eighty cents.

She tucked her phone away and took a sip of water. Excuse me, guysI need to take this call.

She walked out to the parking lot. The March wind cut through her thin shirt, and the sweat on her back turned to ice. She didn't make a call. She just stood there for thirty seconds.

And then she ran.

She ran through the mall, her sneakers pounding on the pavement, and she didn't look back. Her six friends sat at the table for another half hour before they finally realized she wasn't coming back and split the bill among themselves.

When Stacy got to the parking garage, she remembered. Oh, right.

She didn't have a car.

She slumped against a concrete pillar, gasping for air. Her leggings were smudged with dirt. She called Damian.

Damian! That bitch June cancelled my card! I was at dinnerin front of everyoneand it got declined! I have seventy bucks in my name!

The other end of the line was chaotic. Her fathers voice drowned out Damians: She even took my spa membership! They kicked me out with a half-finished facial!

And in the background, her mothers voice: I cant get my meds... its four thousand dollars a month...

In the Whitaker living room, three voices were screaming in unison. And they were all screaming the same name.

June.

June.

June.

Then Damians phone rang. The caller ID: June.

The room went silent. His father froze. Stacy swallowed hard. His mother peeked out from the kitchen. Damian took a shaky breath and hit "Accept." He put it on speaker.

June, you

Damian. My voice was clear, every word measured. You wanted a breakup. I respected that. But now that were over, I can no longer justify managing your familys affairs. I paid the rent. I bought the car. I covered the insurance. I funded the memberships. Tell meare those things yours or mine?

No one spoke.

Seven years, I continued. You dumped me seven times. Do you have any idea how many times your father insulted me? Do you know how much money Stacy borrowed and never paid back? Do you know what your mothers premiums cost every year?

Damians breathing was heavy. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

You don't. Because you never asked. You only knew one thing: that I wasn't on your level.

I paused. So, give it a try. Try a life where Im not there. See who pays the seven-thousand-dollar rent. See who covers the four thousand in medical bills. And the next time you're kicked out of a spa mid-facial, remember your own words: Finally cut the dead weight.

June Damians voice broke. He used that tonethat mix of vulnerability and sweetness that had worked on me for seven years. Are you just doing this to

No. I cut him off. Im not trying to scare you. Im not trying to force you to apologize. Im not waiting for you to come crawling back. I am actually done. You asked for this. Im just being a good listener.

I hung up.

After the call ended, my hand shook. It wasnt fear. It was the seven-year habit of caring, screaming one last time before dying. I stared at the screen for three seconds. Five.

Then I flipped the phone over.

Piper walked over and squeezed my shoulder. Come on. Your flight is at 8:00 AM tomorrow. Lets get you to San Francisco.

I nodded.