Reborn At Thirty-Five

My fifth miscarriage happened in my thirty-fifth year.

Our marriage, worn thin by mutual exhaustion, finally reached its end. We signed the divorce papers quietly, without a fight.

It wasn't long before my ex-husband, William, was with a college girl in her early twenties. She got pregnant almost immediately.

When I moved out of the mansion that was once a symbol of our happiness, only his assistant was there to help. He was a handsome young man, sharp and fit in tailored trousers, hauling heavy boxes back and forth, his brow glistening with a light sweat.

I felt the weight of the bank card in my purse, the one with the nine-figure settlement, and a wild, reckless thought sparked in my mind.

"Lucas," I called out to him. "Have you ever considered working for me instead?"

"I'll pay you fifty thousand a month."

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. He was an educated, respectable young man. Why would he ever agree to something like this?

But to my utter shock, Lucas took a step closer, his expression perfectly serious. "Yes, Audrey," he said without hesitation. "I'd love to."

A sheen of sweat still clung to Lucas's face, making his fair skin seem almost luminous. A strange pang of guilt hit me. "I'm sorry, Lucas. That was out of line. Please, just forget I said anything."

He was only twenty-six. What in the world was I doing? The divorce from William must have scrambled my brain more than I thought.

I let out a quiet sigh, missing the flicker of disappointment in Lucas's eyes.

After the last box was loaded into the moving truck, I took one final look at the house behind me. I had poured my soul into this place after William and I married. From the interior design to the landscaping, every inch was a testament to my love for him. I truly believed we would spend the rest of our lives here.

I never imagined it would all be over in just fifteen years.

Unlike other wealthy men, it was I who had asked for the divorce.

In fifteen years of marriage, he had been good to me, for the most part. Every three years, like clockwork, I would get pregnant. And every time, around the fourth or fifth month, I would lose the baby.

This last time, we were pathologically careful. He even washed my underwear for me. But despite all the painstaking effort, all it took was a single sneeze, and the baby was gone.

In that moment, something inside me died. My heart was a landscape of ash, incapable of producing even the faintest spark.

I told William we should just get a divorce. He was still under forty; he could find another woman, have all the children he wanted.

That night, his eyes were red-rimmed and sleepless.

The next day, he handed me a prepared divorce agreement.

He gave me a third of his five-billion-dollar fortune. On top of that, two estates upstate and a five-story commercial building downtown were transferred to my name.

To be fair, he didn't cheat me.

We went through the proceedings peacefully. After signing the final document, he pulled me into a hug.

"Audrey," he whispered, "if there's a next life, let's be together again."

His words felt like a thousand tiny needles piercing my heart. I almost broke, almost begged him to take it all back, to forget the divorce, to adopt a child instead.

But the very next day, I brought a thermos of homemade chicken soup to his office, only to see him walking into the building with his arm wrapped protectively around a young woman in her early twenties. She had a small, rounded belly, already further along than I had ever been.

I couldn't name the feeling that washed over me. It was a bitter cocktail of dark humor and sharp pain.

I sat on a bench across the street for the entire morning, lost in a daze, until Lucas found me and gently called my name. I fled, humiliated.

After I moved out, I couldn't resist hiring a private investigator.

I learned the girl's name was Jessica, a new intern at William's company. Her fluent French had landed her a few translation gigs for him. A few business trips together, and one thing had led to another.

But Jessica had standards. Even pregnant, she made it clear she would never be his mistress. William, utterly besotted, set her up in a luxury downtown apartment. The moment our divorce was finalized, he moved her into our old home.

He hired a butler, a chauffeur, two nannies, and two maids, all to ensure she had the most comfortable pregnancy possible.

I sat in my new, empty apartment, staring at the investigator's report and drinking bottle after bottle of wine. I drank until my stomach seized in protest, until I was finally forced to admit the truth.

I had lost. I had lost a game I never even knew I was playing, in a relationship that was rotten to the core.

And I had been completely, utterly blind to it all.

Divorced. But life had to go on.

My entire adult life had been dedicated to being the perfect Mrs. Knight. I'd mastered the arts of social grace and catering to a man's every need. Now, suddenly flush with cash and stripped of my husband, I had no idea what to do with myself.

Out of habit, I went to the grocery store and filled a cart with all of William's favorite foods. It was only at the checkout that I remembered we were divorced.

I went home and numbly made a pot of soup, then poured it all down the drain.

Then I sat by the window and stared into space.

What were William and Jessica doing now? With a baby on the way, they were probably reading to her belly, playing classical music for the child.

William would be a good father. He deserved to be.

When I first met him, he was just a sophomore in college. He wasn't old, but he carried himself with an incredible intensity. We were on competing teams in a business plan competition. He annihilated my team. It was brutal.

And it was that day I fell for the brilliant, driven young man with the gold-rimmed glasses who always came in first.

Our first year together was a blur of youthful passion. One night, we were careless. We had our first child.

But he had nothing back then, and my parents would never let me marry a man with no prospects. After a night spent crying in each other's arms, we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy.

After that, my body changed. I became prone to miscarriages. Every pregnancy ended in loss.

William poured immense effort into fixing it. He took me to traditional healers and top specialists, all in an attempt to heal my body. We tried for fifteen years. In the end, we were left with nothing.

Staring at the gloomy sky outside, I couldn't help but wonder if this was my punishment. A curse from our first child, because I didn't fight hard enough to keep him. Was that why I was no longer worthy of being a mother?

An unbearable sorrow washed over me. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass, and the tears finally came.

From that day on, my mental state deteriorated. I grew so disoriented that I'd slip back into the past, thinking William and I were still married. One afternoon, I drove to his office on autopilot.

The security guard at the front desk stopped me. I just stood there, confused, not fully processing the situation.

"You say you're Mrs. Knight?" the guard scoffed. "Don't make me laugh. The real Mrs. Knight just went inside."

He gestured toward Jessica's retreating back. "See that? The boss's wife is young and beautiful. Not... whatever you are."

His voice wasn't loud, but it was enough to draw stares from passersby. Their sharp, curious glances felt like tiny daggers on my skin, making my cheeks burn with shame.

I overheard employees who recognized me whispering. "Isn't that his first wife? The one he kicked out because she couldn't have kids."

"I saw her not too long ago, she didn't look this rough. What happened? She looks like she's aged twenty years."

I scrambled to a reflective surface and stared at my reflection. They were right. The woman staring back was a ghost, a hollowed-out horror.

I fled, my heart pounding in my chest. Before I could even make sense of it all, my phone rang. It was William.

His tone was colder and sharper than I had ever heard it.

"Audrey, I heard you came by the office today."

My thoughts were a tangled mess. A wave of pathetic self-pity washed over me.

"Yes," I mumbled. "I... I just missed you."

"William, I regret it. I shouldn't have..." Divorced you.

He cut me off before I could finish.

"Audrey, I gave you everything you were owed. Do you have any idea what you're doing?" His voice was laced with ice. "My wife is pregnant. She's only six months along. You've been pregnant. You know how important it is for her to be stress-free right now."

"And what do you do? You show up at my office, making a scene. What is it? Just because you couldn't carry a baby to term, you want to make her lose hers too?"

Before I could even form a defense, he hung up.

A moment later, a text message buzzed on my phone.

[I've sent you another fifty million. Take the money and get the hell out of my life.]

The number in my bank account was a string of cold, meaningless zeros.

I covered my face with my hands, unable to make a sound.

The apartment felt like a cage. William's cruel words echoed in my head. I grabbed my car keys and drove, ending up at the first bar I saw.

And that's where I found Lucas.

Off the clock, he was dressed in a casual shirt and jeans, a lock of hair falling across his forehead, making him look even younger. He was with a group of guys who looked about his age. They were all chattering away, but he sat in the middle of it all, silent and still.

I don't know what possessed me, but my feet started moving on their own.

I had barely reached their table when one of his friends spoke up, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Ma'am, can we help you?"

His tone was mocking. In a place like this, pulsing with music and desire, what else could a woman approaching a group of young men want?

I ignored him and met Lucas's gaze.

"Lucas," I said, my voice steadier than I felt. "About my offer the other day. Is it still on the table?"

This time, Lucas didn't respond with the same instant eagerness. His dark eyes studied my face for a long moment.

"Are you sure this time, Audrey? This isn't just another impulse?"

I nodded. "I'm sure."

"And one more thing. I'm divorced. It's Ms. Thorne now."

A slow smile spread across his face as he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. In one fluid motion, he reached out, grabbed my arm, and pulled me into his lap.

I was instantly enveloped in his scent, a clean, masculine energy that was both overwhelming and intoxicating. His body was firm and well-defined, the muscles of his chest solid beneath my palm.

He took my hand, his voice a low murmur against my ear. "You have to be sure, Audrey. Because this time, once you buy, there are no returns."

He leaned in closer, his presence suddenly powerful, almost predatory. And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, my dead, silent heart gave a strange, fluttery beat.

On pure instinct, my hand went up, my fingers curling around the back of his neck.

I kissed him.

His lips were warm and soft. After more than a decade as a housewife, I had almost forgotten what this felt like. A single kiss was enough to ignite a fire I thought had long since burned out. If we hadn't been in a crowded bar, surrounded by people, things would have escalated very, very quickly.

Lucas cupped the back of my head, his thumb stroking my cheek as he gently licked the corner of my mouth.

"Wow, Audrey," he whispered, his breath hot against my skin. "You're good. I almost lost control."

His friends stared, their jaws on the floor. The one who had mocked me earlier just stammered, unable to form a single word.

I tossed a wad of cash on the table for them to enjoy their night.

Then I took Lucas by the hand and led him straight to a hotel.

That night was a blur of frenzied passion.

We were so wrapped up in each other that Lucas was late for work the next morning.

There was a crucial meeting at Knight Industries that he was supposed to lead. William's call came while Lucas was still in my bed.

"Hello, Mr. Knight."

"Where the hell are you? The meeting starts in thirty minutes!"

Lucas shot me a chagrined look. "My apologies, sir. I'm on my way."

He hung up, threw on his clothes, and rushed out the door.

I got up and took a long, slow shower, feeling my senses gradually return.

I had just slept with a man nine years my junior.

The feeling was strange... and exhilarating. It was the delicious, terrifying thrill of a good girl trying on a corset for the first time.

As promised, I transferred a million dollars to Lucas's account.

A moment later, a message from him appeared on my phone.

[?]

I typed back: [Your allowance.]

He replied: [...Thank you, boss.]

It was followed by a smiling puppy emoji.

I looked at it, and a slow smile spread across my own face.

As I was checking out of the hotel, I found myself drawn to the boutique next door. I bought a pile of lingerie I never would have dared to wear before. As I passed the dress section, the sales associate saw the look in my eye.

"Are you looking for something special? We just got our new collection in. It has a very chic, effortless vibe. Absolutely perfect for a woman with your... sophistication."

She was good. Before I knew it, I had bought several more dresses.

When I tried on a long, pink slip dress, I hesitated.

"Isn't this... a little too young for me? I'm thirty-five."

The associate shook her head emphatically. "Not at all! It looks stunning on you. And listen, this isn't a girly, bubblegum pink. Its a sophisticated dogwood blush, perfect for a woman with your experience. It suits you perfectly."

"It might feel a little off right now because you don't have your makeup or hair done," she continued, her voice full of encouragement. "But if you got some long, soft curls? With your features, you could be a movie star."

Her words worked their magic. After buying the clothes, I went straight to a salon and had my hair done.

Back home, I spread all my new purchases out on the bed.

After a long moment, I made a decision.

I packed up all my old, "appropriate" clothes, the ones that screamed "sensible wife." Every single one went into a donation bag. My drab, matronly pajamas and underwear? Thrown in the trash.

As I looked around, even the apartment started to feel wrong.

I picked up my phone and called a real estate agent.

"Hello? I'm looking for a villa."

A few days later, I moved into a house even bigger than the one I had shared with William.

I hired a new design firm and redecorated the entire house from top to bottom.

I was so busy that I didn't have time to see Lucas.

He had tried to give me some space, but after a few days of silence, he sent me a message.

"Hey, boss. What are you up to?"

I replied: "Gardening."

It was a hobby I'd had for over a decade, a hard habit to break.

So when Lucas finally tracked me down, he found me in a flowing new dress, on my hands and knees, pulling weeds in the garden.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Audrey, what is this?"

I realized, with a start, that it probably looked a little strange.

After changing my clothes, I took him out to dinner.

It was my first time eating out with a man who wasn't William, and it felt a little awkward.

Lucas placed a hand on the small of my back to guide me. Seeing my discomfort, a smile played on his lips.

"Audrey, you're the rich one here," he whispered. "You're the one paying my bills. Act like it. Own it."

"...Right," I said.

I had absolutely no experience in this whole "sugar mama" thing. My instincts were to take care of him, to pay attention to what he liked to eat.

Lucas watched me, then suddenly chuckled.

"You've got the money, but you don't have the attitude," he observed. "Why is that? Isn't a nine-figure bank account enough to give you a little swagger?"

I'd forgotten he was the one who handled the divorce papers. He knew exactly how much I was worth. I touched my nose, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Honestly, Lucas... I got together with your old boss when I was twenty-one. He's the only man I've ever been with."

"Before we were married, my parents' world revolved around my younger brother. They were never really satisfied with me. After I got with William, everywhere we went, people only ever praised him. I was invisible. Plus, I've never been that interested in money. It's just... hard to switch gears and act like a big shot overnight."

Lucas rested his chin on his hand, studying me for a long time. Then he leaned in close, his eyes narrowed with mock seriousness.

"Oh no, Audrey. We have a problem."

Thinking something was wrong, I leaned in too, my voice hushed. "What is it?"

He quickly pecked me on the lips.

"You're just too damn beautiful."

A hot blush instantly spread across my face.

Younger men really know what they're doing. Lucas showered me with sweet nothings day in and day out, and over time, he actually managed to coax a bit of a pampered, playful side out of me.

That, combined with a very fulfilling nightlife, brought a healthy glow back to my cheeks. Sometimes, I'd catch my reflection and even I had to admit, I looked pretty good.

The high-society circle in this city is small. Even after the divorce, some invitations were unavoidable.

Case in point: the wife of one of William's business partners was having a birthday party, and she invited both of us. I didn't want to go, but she called me repeatedly, insisting.

So, I decided to make a brief appearance.

I put on some light makeup, slipped into the pink dress I'd bought, and took a cab to the Gables' estate.

As soon as I walked in, I saw a familiar group of society wives clustered around Jessica, fawning over her.

"Oh, you must be due any day now! And I can just tell, it's a boy."

Jessica smiled shyly. "Yes, we had it checked. It's a boy."

One of the women, Mrs. Chen, was particularly sycophantic. "See? You're the lucky one. Not like William's last wife. Old, plain, and couldn't even keep a baby. If you ask me, William was too kind. I would have kicked her out years ago."

I hadn't realized so many people were eager to kick me when I was down, even after a "peaceful" divorce. What shocked me more was that William was standing right there, listening to it all, and didn't say a single word to defend me.

It was Mrs. Gable, the hostess, who finally intervened, smoothly changing the subject.

Just as they were discussing what kind of baby bottles to buy for William's son, someone finally noticed me.

The woman's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you... Mrs. Knight?"

I offered a gentle smile. "William and I are divorced. You can just call me Audrey."

A wave of disbelief washed over the group. Everyone stared at me. Even William. A flicker of stunned admiration crossed his face.

"Audrey?"

"Yes," I nodded, handing my gift to the hostess. "Mrs. Gable, happy birthday. I have another engagement, so I won't be staying long."

After a polite nod to the group, I turned and walked out of the party.

I had just reached the end of the driveway when I heard someone call my name from behind.

I turned. It was William.