My Mind Erased Our Marriage

Diana dropped the bomb in our college alumni group chat: Im divorced.

In the very next message, she tagged Ternence. Will you marry me now?

Reading those words, the memory of that absurd wedding three years ago rushed back, vivid and suffocating.

That day, playing the role of the tragic heroine to perfection, Diana had abandoned the devoted second-choice man at the altar. She shoved her expensive bridal bouquet into my chest, told the gasping crowd that Ternence and I made a better pair, and ran out the chapel doors to chase her "true love."

I had stood there, frozen in tulle and shock, slowly turning to look at Ternence.

His knuckles were white, gripping the wedding band so hard I thought it might cut into his skin. He watched the chapel doors swing shut behind her, his face a portrait of utter devastation.

Then, amidst the rising whispers of the congregation, a terrifying, apathetic calm washed over him. He grabbed my hand and shoved the ring onto my finger.

If Diana thinks were a good match, he told the crowd, his voice hollow, then Ill listen to her. Ill marry Jo.

I had loved him in secret for ten years. In that chaotic, humiliating moment, my foolish heart actually thought my waiting had finally paid off.

But it was right then that the floating text appeared.

Glowing, venomous sentences began scrolling across my field of vision like a digital ticker tape only I could see.

[Omg, the heroine is so brave for chasing true love! An absolute icon!]

[This supporting girl is so pathetic. Does she actually think the second male lead is marrying her out of love? Just wait for the angst, shes gonna get destroyed.]

Looking back now, three years later, those spectral comments couldn't have been more right.

The floating text, which had been dormant for three years, suddenly exploded across my vision, bright and jarring:

[The audacity of this minor character trying to steal a man from our baby girl Diana! Does she have a death wish?]

[The moment weve been waiting for! Diana is finally going to see how devoted Ternence is!]

[The side-chick wife is so annoying. Ternence needs to divorce her right now!]

[Manifesting them rekindling their romance at the reunion!!!]

My chest tightened. I sat on the edge of our bed, bracing myself for Ternence to walk in and demand a divorce.

Instead, a familiar, large hand reached out and pressed the lock button on my phone, turning the screen black.

I looked up, meeting Ternences gaze. His eyes were impossibly soft.

"Don't be silly, Jo. I'm not going to that reunion tonight," he murmured, his thumb gently smoothing the crease between my brows. "There hasn't been an 'us' for a very long time."

He ruffled my hair affectionately and guided me under the covers. I rolled onto my side, and he slid in behind me, pulling my back against his chest. His warm breath ghosted over the nape of my neck.

I forced my breathing to slow, mimicking the steady rhythm of sleep. Only then did he carefully, silently, slip out of bed.

The bedroom door clicked shut. He was gone.

I knew he would leave, yet the sharp ache in my ribs still took my breath away.

I threw a trench coat over my pajamas, ordered an Uber, and followed him.

Through the tinted glass of a private VIP booth at a downtown lounge, I watched Ternence snatch a rocks glass from Dianas hand.

"Diana, that's enough!"

The words were a reprimand, but the look in his eyesthe raw, bleeding tendernesstold a completely different story.

"Let go of me!" she slurred, her eyes heavy with liquor as she lunged for the glass, only to stumble directly into his chest.

Ternence went entirely rigid. The tips of his ears flushed a deep, betraying crimson.

Diana began to hammer her fists weakly against his chest, tears spilling down her cheeks. "You're loving this, aren't you? Seeing me this pathetic. You think this is my karma for leaving you at the altar?"

Ternence turned his face away, his jaw tight. He didn't say a word.

With a strained, agonizing restraint, he pushed her away.

Diana grabbed a trash can and began dry-heaving, violently swatting away the napkin he offered her. Before she could reach for another drink, Ternence bent down and hoisted her over his shoulder with one arm.

She kicked and screamed all the way out of the bar. He carried her to the sidewalk, finally setting her down by the curb.

Without warning, she threw up, the mess splattering all over his designer shirt and slacks.

This was a man who practically bordered on germaphobic. Yet, looking at the mess, he didn't even flinch.

Two years ago, to help him secure a massive corporate account, I had swallowed my pride and drank myself sick entertaining his clients. When he came to pick me up, I had stumbled toward him, seeking the safety of his arms.

He had shoved me away with a look of pure disgust.

You're filthy, he had sneered, before throwing the jacket I had been wearing straight into a public dumpster.

Now, watching Diana cry and vomit, mascara streaking her face, Ternences brow furrowed in deep distress. He gently rubbed circles into her back.

"If he doesn't want you," Ternence whispered into the night air, "I do."

I froze in the shadows.

It felt as though someone had reached into my chest and scooped out my heart with a rusted spoon.

The glowing text flared violently before my eyes:

[That is SO swoon-worthy! The devoted second lead is making his move! Get together already!]

[Oh my god! Who could resist a man this hopelessly in love?]

[Wait, he hasn't divorced the wife yet. Our Diana can't be a homewrecker! Hurry up and serve the papers, Ternence!]

My legs gave out. I crouched on the concrete, wrapping my arms tight around my knees.

If he chose Diana... then what exactly were the last three years of my life? What were we?

I don't know how long I stayed huddled there in the cold. Eventually, I forced myself to stand, dragging my numb legs all the way back to our townhouse.

The moment I walked through the door, Ternence rushed forward, pulling me into a desperate embrace like I was a precious treasure he thought he'd lost forever.

"Jo, where were you? God, I was so worried."

A tiny, pathetic ember of hope tried to spark to life in the hollow of my chest. I raised my hand, ready to wrap my arms around his waist.

Then I looked past his shoulder.

Standing in the hallway, wearing nothing but his oversized white dress shirt and a pair of lace underwear, was Diana.

"Oh, you're back?" she purred, covering her mouth with a delicate hand to hide a smirk. She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Don't tell me you were out looking to catch a cheating husband?"

She was waiting for it. Waiting for me to morph into the hysterical, insecure, crazy wife, screaming and demanding answers.

Instead, I slowly lowered my hand. I placed my palms flat against Ternence's chest and pushed him away.

As I did, my eyes fell to his left hand.

The gold wedding band was gone.

In its place was a pale, distinct indentationa ghost of the promise he had made to me.

A wave of bone-deep exhaustion washed over me, heavy and suffocating.

Catching the direction of my gaze, panic flashed in Ternences eyes. For the first time in our marriage, he scrambled to explain himself.

"Diana just got back into the States. She didn't have a place to stay, and she was drunk... It was dangerous out there, Jo. I couldn't just leave her on the street."

He really didn't need to explain. The moment he chose to bring her into our home without asking me, he made it clear that my feelings were entirely irrelevant.

"Okay," I said quietly.

Ternence let out a ragged breath and suddenly grabbed my wrist, pulling me down the hall and into his study.

I stumbled, genuinely surprised.

He had never allowed me in his study. I had only ever sneaked in once, years ago, and discovered the reason why: it was a shrine to her.

He backed me against the wall, his breathing fast and heavy.

"Diana just went through a brutal divorce. I... I took the ring off because I didn't want to rub my marriage in her face. I didn't want to trigger her."

"Besides," he added, his voice dropping to a persuasive, desperate murmur, "that ring was originally bought for her anyway. Tomorrow, let's go to the jeweler. We'll pick out a brand new one. Whatever you want, okay?"

I didn't answer. My eyes were fixed on the massive canvas hanging on the wall beside us.

It was an oil painting. Five years ago, during a college camping trip in the Adirondacks, he had painted it for her.

Diana was the ghost he had spent his whole life chasing. The golden girl.

But wasn't he the same to me?

[Holy shit! What is going through this supporting characters head? Does she seriously think he saved her back then because he liked her?]

[Please, he just hated seeing the campus bullies picking on a weakling. He pitied her.]

[Ternence is a saint, he would have saved a stray dog. This girl is delusional.]

[If Diana hadn't told him to marry her, and if Jo didn't happen to have the same shaped eyes as Diana, do you think he ever would have given her a second look?]

The glowing text scrolled mercilessly. My whole body turned to ice.

So that was it. In Ternences eyes, I was never a wife. I was just a cheap understudy. A placeholder with the right shaped eyes.

Ternences voice dragged me out of the digital crossfire.

"We can..."

He was rambling, making promises I couldn't hear over the roaring in my ears. I blinked my dry, burning eyes and cut him off.

"I'll sign the divorce papers."

Ternences pupils contracted to pinpricks. "What?!"

I stared at him, bewildered by his shock.

Wasn't this what he wanted? Wasn't this the grand confession where he told me he was leaving me for her?

His face darkened. He reached over, unhooked the massive painting of Diana from the wall, and set it face-down on the floor. He took my hands in his, his voice dropping to a velvet, pleading register.

"Jo, listen to me. I brought you into this room to show you that I'm done. I've let her go."

"I only see her as a little sister now. Please, don't spiral over this."

I looked straight into his dark eyes. They were intense, desperate, and terrifyingly sincere. He didn't sound like he was lying.

"Then tell her to get out of my house. Right now."

Crash!

The sound of shattering glass erupted from the doorway.

Diana stormed in, her face twisted in fury. Before I could blink, her hand cracked across my cheek in a vicious slap.

"If it weren't for me, you never would have had a chance with him!" she screamed, her chest heaving. "You should be on your knees thanking me! Instead, you're using the title of 'Mrs.' to throw your weight around and order me out?"

My cheek throbbed, the skin burning hot and swelling instantly.

Ternences face turned lethal. He grabbed Dianas wrist, his voice a furious roar. "Apologize to her!"

Diana violently wrenched her arm free, her voice hitting a hysterical pitch. "Why should I?!"

"Shes been obsessed with you for years! She only pretended to be my friend to get close to you! She's a manipulative, shameless bitch, and she deserves everything she gets!"

Sobbing wildly, she turned and bolted from the study.

The lethal anger in Ternences eyes vanished, replaced instantly by sheer, blinding panic. Without a second thought, he ran after her.

[Yessss! Go off, queen! That manipulative side-chick totally orchestrated everything! Put her in her place!]

[Aww, our devoted guy is chasing after her! He can't stand to see her cry ~]

[Tsk tsk. No matter how hard the understudy tries, shell never hold a candle to the leading lady!]

I stood alone in the quiet study, my cheek burning. I didn't understand why the voices hated me so much.

Was it a crime to love someone quietly? To hope?

Ternence didn't come home that night.

The promise to buy a new ring dissolved into thin air.

The elaborate itinerary we had planned for our three-year anniversary today? Forgotten entirely.

I lay paralyzed on the living room sofa, staring blankly at the ceiling.

My phone buzzed. A notification popped up from a local lifestyle account on Instagram. The thumbnail caught my eye immediately.

[He always listens to me.]

The photo showed a man gripping the back of a woman's neck, kissing her with an aggressive, consuming hunger. Their hands were locked together, fingers intertwined.

Right there, on the man's left hand, was the unmistakable pale band of missing skin.

I would know that silhouette anywhere. It was Ternence.

I clicked onto the posters profile. The pinned photo at the top of the grid hit me like a physical blow.

[He wants to marry me all over again!]

I looked down at the ring on my own finger.

The woman in the photo was wearing a breathtaking, multi-carat pink diamond. I was wearing the plain gold band she had discarded three years ago.

I scrolled further down her feed, every post sinking my heart deeper into an abyss.

[After all these years, he never got the jasmine flower lasered off his chest. He's so obsessed with me!]

The air left my lungs.

For three years, whenever we made love, Ternence had forbidden me from touching that specific spot on his chest.

A few times, frustrated and insecure, I had asked him, "Have you ever really gotten over her?"

His warmth would instantly turn to ice. Without a single word of reassurance, he would throw the blankets off, get dressed, and slam the door on his way out. It would trigger weeks of agonizing silent treatment.

It always ended with me begging for forgiveness, swearing I would never bring her up again, just to get him to look at me.

My head was pounding, a sickening pressure building behind my eyes. My hands shook as I gripped my phone. Against every instinct of self-preservation, I dialed his number.

It rang eight times. Finally, the line clicked open.

"Diana's in the hospital. Whatever it is, it can wait until I get home."

His voice was clipped, distant, lined with a tightly coiled rage.

Before I could form a syllable, he hung up.

I couldn't breathe. Following the geotag on the Instagram post, I ordered a car to Boston General.

I needed to look him in the eye. I needed a final verdict on the last three years of my life.

I stood outside the private hospital room for a long time.

A passing nurse carrying an IV bag paused and looked at me sympathetically.

"Are you here for your friend? She had a terrifying night. Some drunk guy harassed her and nearly assaulted her in an alley." The nurse sighed. "If her boyfriend hadn't gotten there in time... God, I don't even want to think about it."

With that, the nurse pushed the door open.

The room went dead silent.

The moment Diana saw me standing in the doorway, she went feral. She grabbed her pillow and hurled it at my face.

"You couldn't stand seeing him treat me well! You were so jealous you hired someone to" She cut off with a sob. "Get her out of here! Make her leave!"

Ternence immediately pulled Diana into his chest, wrapping his arms around her trembling shoulders.

He shot a dark, lethal glare over her head, locking eyes with me. "If I find out you had anything to do with this, Jo, I swear to God..."

I stood rooted to the linoleum floor.

He didn't need proof. He didn't need an investigation. His first instinct was that I was a monster.

The nurse gave me a look of absolute disgust, swapped the IV bag, and hurried out of the room.

[Holy shit! Did the side-chick actually orchestrate an assault? That is pure evil! Trying to ruin the heroines purity?]

[She's so dumb. There are cameras everywhere, the cops will catch her instantly!]

[Lock her up and throw away the key! Keep her away from my OTP!]

Through the venomous scrolling text, Diana peeked out from Ternence's embrace. A vicious, triumphant smirk played on her lips.

"Stop playing your pathetic little games, Jo," she sneered. "Let me spell it out for you. The only woman Ternence has ever loved is me. You will never, ever be me."

She leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a venomous whisper. "Oh, and by the way? You know that miscarriage you had two years ago? It wasn't an accident."

The room tilted.

"I told him I was terrified that if you had his baby, he would stop loving me," Diana smiled, her eyes glittering. "So he made sure you had an 'accident.'"

Black spots danced at the edges of my vision.

It felt like a jagged piece of glass was being twisted into my heart. I couldn't breathe.

No wonder. When I was pregnant, Ternence had suddenly become obsessed with my daily routine, asking me exact times for everything.

He was looking for the perfect window to tamper with the ropes on the porch swing I sat on every afternoon.

I remembered the snap of the rope. The terrifying freefall. The crimson blood soaking through my summer dress.

The baby was gone before the ambulance even arrived.

But when I had first told him I was pregnant, he had wept. He had picked me up, spinning me around the living room. "You are the greatest gift the universe could ever give me, Jo. I'm the luckiest man alive."

And yet, because the woman he truly loved expressed a fleeting moment of insecurity, he had murdered our unborn child in cold blood.

Tears spilled hotly down my cheeks.

I lunged forward, raising my hand, and slapped Ternence across the face with every ounce of strength I possessed.

He didn't dodge. He took the hit, his head snapping to the side.

I raised my trembling hand again, aiming straight for Dianas smug face.

But before I could make contact, Ternence shoved me. Hard.

I flew backward, my spine colliding violently with the plaster wall. A blinding shot of pain radiated through my bones.

"That's enough!" Ternence roared, stepping between us like a shield. "I'm the one who did it! If you want to take your rage out on someone, take it out on me!"

His eyes were wild, shifting, tremblingbut there was not a single shred of remorse in them.

I stared at him, my face the color of ash. My voice shook violently.

"Ternence. In the three years we've been married... did you ever love me? Even for a second?"

Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating.

I slowly pulled my gaze away from his face. A numb, broken smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. I turned around and walked out.

I stumbled out of the hospital doors, my vision blurred with tears, wandering aimlessly into the rain-slicked streets.

Suddenly, a blinding pair of headlights cut through the darkness.

CRASH.

The impact threw me into the air, the world spinning in a terrifying blur before the pavement rushed up to meet me.

[Oh my god! Did the side-chick just get wiped out?]

[Good riddance! Now Ternence and Diana can finally be together in peace. No more dead weight!]

[Hey upstairs, have some basic human decency, wtf!]

Everything was spinning. I lay in a spreading pool of my own warm blood, the cold rain washing over my face.

As the edges of my consciousness began to fray and fade into black, I thought I heard a voice screaming my name, raw and torn to shreds.

"JO!"

A faint, self-deprecating smile touched my lips.

I'm done, Ternence. I'm not playing your sick little game anymore.