His Secret Diary Changed Everything

The day before I woke up in my eighteen-year-old body, I found a weathered journal hidden in the back of my husbands safe.

My husband, Silas, was a man the media called an icebergbrilliant, devastatingly handsome, and perpetually cold. Our marriage had been a clean, efficient business arrangement. Or so I thought until I read a single line in that diary: If I had only been more assertive back then, would things have turned out differently?

I closed the book, my heart aching. I assumed he was mourning the "one who got away," the girl he truly loved before he was shackled to me. I told myself then: Fine. If hes still dreaming about his 'white moonlight,' Ill go find my first love. Well call it even and find our own peace.

But then, the universe shifted. I woke up ten years in the past.

On my second day back in high school, Silasthe teenage version, sharper and even more intimidatingcornered me against a brick wall in the equipment hallway and kissed me with a desperation that left me breathless and shattered.

Stunned, I went back and re-read the memories of that journal in my mind, searching for what Id missed. Thats when I realized there was a second line written directly beneath the first, scrawled in frantic, heavy ink:

If I had only been more assertive back then, her ex wouldn't have stood a chance. Our kids would be running around the garden by now.

I had always lived with the ghost of Silass unrequited love.

He knew my reasons for marrying him, too. Beyond the merger of our families real estate empires, there was a jagged piece of me that wanted to spite my ex-boyfriend. We were two people occupying the same house, living parallel lives.

I just didn't realize Silass obsession ran so much deeper than mine.

The day before the "glitch" happened, I found the journal. The entries spanned seven years, the most recent being only three days old. Id traced the worn edges of the paper until I hit that line about his regrets. I couldn't bear to read further. The pain of being a second choice was a weight Id carried for years.

So, when I opened my eyes and found myself standing on the high school track field, staring at an eighteen-year-old Silas, I did the only logical thing. I turned around and ran.

In my first life, my best friend had goaded me into asking for his number. That was the spark that eventually led to our transactional engagement years later. This time, I was going to set the tracks straight. I wasn't going to be the consolation prize.

My best friend, Jessie, grabbed my arm, yanking me back to the present.

"Maya, what are you doing? Its just a phone number. Why are you running like you saw a ghost?"

I forced my eyes away from Silas, who was standing near the bleachers, looking like a dark prince in a varsity jacket. "Hes not my type, Jessie. You know that. My heart is already set on someone else."

Jessie sighed, her disappointment palpable. "You mean Jason? Hes sweet, I guess, and hes... safe. But hes a puddle compared to Silas. You guys don't even vibe."

I started walking away, pulling her with me, when she suddenly squeezed my arm so hard it bruised.

"Oh my god! Hes coming over!"

My stomach dropped. "Who?"

"Hi. Im Silas."

The voice was lower than I remembered, vibrating through my spine. I took several steadying breaths before I dared to turn around. He was there. Eighteen-year-old Silas was leaner, his expression more guarded, but his eyes had that same piercing intensity that used to make me forget my own name.

Silas held out his phone, the screen already open to a new contact page. "Id like to get to know you. If thats okay."

I froze. This wasn't how it happened before. In the original timeline, I was the one who chased him. This felt... wrong.

Jessie was vibrating with excitement beside me. She didn't wait for my permission; she snatched my phone out of my hand, swiped it opengod, I cursed myself for telling her my passcodeand exchanged numbers with him before I could blink.

I ground my teeth. Note to self: Jessie is officially fired from being my future maid of honor.

After the exchange, Silas didn't say a word. He just stood there, his gaze lingering on my face as if he were memorizing a map he thought hed lost. I felt exposed under his stare. I grabbed Jessies hand to flee, but a cheerful voice stopped us.

"Maya! Hey! I brought you those fish tacos you like!"

Jason ran toward us, balancing a few greasy bags. He looked exactly how I rememberedkind, a bit messy, and utterly boyish. I smiled, reaching out for the food, but Silas stepped between us.

"Shes allergic to shellfish."

The world seemed to go silent. Jason blinked. Jessie stared. I stood there, paralyzed.

I am allergic to shellfish. But Jason didn't find that out until our sophomore year of college when I ended up in the ER after a date. And back then, Silas and I barely spoke. He was always working, always busy with the "merger."

The only time Id had a major reaction during our marriage was at a corporate gala. Id passed out after a stray appetizer, and when I woke up in the hospital, the room was empty. Id assumed Silas was too busy with his clients to stay. But in the hazy moments of waking, I could have sworn I saw his face hovering over mine.

"Wait, how did you know that?" Jason asked, looking confused.

Silas didn't answer him. Instead, he took the bag from Jasons hand and began sorting through it with clinical precision. "She doesn't eat onions in her wraps. She hates honey mustard. This chicken is too greasy, and this dessert has way too much artificial syrup..."

He finally pulled out a plain fruit cup. "This is the only thing here that won't make her sick."

Fear pricked at my skin. Something was very different about this Silas. I didn't wait for an explanation; I grabbed Jessie and bolted toward the gym.

"Do you know him?" Jessie panted as we ran. "Have you two been secret pen pals or something?"

"No," I lied, my heart hammering. "Ive never spoken to him in my life."

"Then hes either a stalker or a psychic, Maya. He knows your coffee order better than your own boyfriend does!"

Back in the classroom, Jason was sulking.

"That guy... are you sure you don't know him?"

I shook my head, staring at my textbook. "Forget him, Jason. Hes just some arrogant jerk from the honors track."

I glanced toward the door. A shadow passed by the frosted glass. It was Silas. He was pacing the hallway, his shadow flickering every few seconds as he glanced into our room.

Jason finally relaxed after I spent ten minutes ego-stroking him. "Maya, I wanted to tell you something."

My heart sank. Here it was. The moment that defined my first life.

"Im applying for the exchange program in London for next year."

I already knew the script. This was the beginning of the end for us.

"I have to go," he continued, holding my hand tightly. "My grades aren't like yours. If I stay here, I won't get into a top-tier school. But don't worry. Once you graduate, well be together. Ill finish my three years abroad, and then well get married. Its just three years..."

Just three years. He said it so easily.

In my previous life, those three years were the loneliest of my existence. I stayed loyal, turning down every invitation, waiting for a man who eventually told me he needed another two years for a Masters degree because he "needed to be worthy of me."

That was why, when my mother told me about the arrangement with Silass family, I had said yes. It wasn't just spite. It was exhaustion. I was tired of waiting for a ghost.

"Maya? Are you okay? You look pale."

I forced a smile and nodded. "Go for it, Jason. I support you."

Jason looked shocked that I didn't put up a fight. He pressed my hand to his cheek. "I knew youd understand. Youre the best. Ill give you the wedding of your dreams one day, I promise."

Outside in the hall, a loud crash echoed, followed by a curse. "Watch where the hell you're going!"

It was Silas. Hed "accidentally" bumped into a janitors cart right outside our door. I pulled my hand away from Jasons. "Its too early to talk about weddings," I whispered.

By the end of the day, my head was spinning. I tried to leave through the side exit, only to find Silas leaning against the brickwork, waiting.

Does he have a tracker on me? Hes supposed to be chasing his mysterious first love, not me.

"Maya. Lets grab dinner."

I kept my head down. "I can't. Jason is waiting for me."

Silass eyes flashed with a dark, sharp light. "Then let him wait. Or better yet, tell him I intercepted you."

I let out a sharp, frustrated laugh. "I didn't realize you were such a prick, Silas."

"If you want to have this out, let's do it," he said, his voice dropping an octave.

"Fine," I snapped. "Look, I know how this works. Our families want a merger. Its business. There are no feelings involved, and there never will be. Since we have a chance to do things over, let's just stay out of each other's way. You go your way, Ill go mine."

Silas didn't move. "I am going my way. Youre just standing in the middle of it."

I tried to push past him, but he followed me like a shadow. He was relentless.

Jason was waiting by the cafeteria entrance, his face darkening when he saw Silas trailing behind me. "What is he doing here?"

Before I could explain, Silas cut in. "Its a public school, isn't it? Or do you own the cafeteria now?"

I wondered if Silas had hit his head during the time-jump. The man I knew was a man of few words, a statue of decorum. This version was a nightmare.

He sat at our table, ignoring Jason entirely. When my tray arrived, Silas swapped it for a premium-looking bento box hed pulled from his bag. It was the exact same brand and model of lunchbox he used to carry to the office.

I opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was exactly what I used to eat for lunch every day during our marriage: grilled shrimp (cleaned perfectly), steamed broccoli, and a soft-boiled egg cut into a heart.

But our housekeeper, Mrs. Gable, always made my lunches. Or so I thought.

I took a bite. The flavor was identical. "Did you make this?"

He nodded. "Every single one. Even the ones from before."

Jason slammed his fork down. "Maya, you told me you didn't know this guy!"

I was trapped. I pulled out my phone under the table and shot Silas a text. Stop it. Don't you have a 'white moonlight' to go chase? Go find the girl you actually love and leave me alone!

I looked up, and the look in Silass eyes stopped my heart. It was the same look he gave me on our wedding nightintense, hungry, and devastatingly sad.

He checked his phone, read the text, and said nothing. He simply reached across the table and wiped a stray drop of sauce from my lip with his thumb.

My anxiety spiked. Where was his unrequited love? What about the regret in his diary?

Then, a memory of a middle page of that journal surfaced: Ive wanted to make her lunch since we were kids. I didn't think I'd have to wait until we were married to do it. At least that loser Jason is a thousand miles away now...

"Hey!" Jason shouted, standing up. "I don't know what your problem is, but shes my girlfriend. Were going to be together forever. Stay away from her!"

Silas let out a cold, soft chuckle. "You won't get married. Not in the last life, not in this one, and definitely not in the next."

Jason, thinking Silas was just being a jerk, grabbed my arm to pull me away, knocking the lunchbox onto the floor in the process.

I looked back at Silas. He was sitting there, staring at the ruined food on the floor, looking smaller than Id ever seen him. If he really had been the one making my meals all those years... I owed him more than this.

Once Jason dragged me outside, I finally snapped. "Jason, that was uncalled for. You didn't have to ruin the food. Its wasteful."

Jason grabbed my shoulders, his hands shaking. "I don't know what it is, Maya, but every time I see him, I feel like hes about to steal you. Im just... Im scared of losing you."

I sighed, patting his back. "Its fine. Im here."

That night, I had cafeteria duty. By the time I finished cleaning the classrooms, it was 9:30 PM. Jason had promised to wait for me, but his car was nowhere to be found.

Ive always been terrified of the dark. Our school was deep in the suburbs, and the walk to the gate was a fifteen-minute trek through poorly lit paths. I started to jog, my breath hitching in my throat.

I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around, but the path was empty.

A few yards later, a hand tapped my shoulder. I screamed, spinning to find a guy with greasy hair and a face full of acne shoving a phone in my face.

"Hey, beautiful. Give me your number?"

I backed away, my hands up. "I... Im not interested."

He stepped closer, his smile predatory. "Come on, don't be like that. Just one look."

Suddenly, a heavy arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against a warm, solid chest. The scent of sandalwood and expensive soapmy favorite scent, the one Id bought for himfilled my lungs.

"You walk too slow," Silass deep voice vibrated against my ear. "Ive been waiting for you at the gate for twenty minutes."

He turned his cold gaze to the stranger. "Is there a problem?"

The guy scoffed. "Just trying to get a number, man. You know how it is." He actually had the nerve to wink at Silas.

"Get out," Silas growled. His fist clenched so hard his knuckles popped.

I think the guy realized that Silas was about five seconds away from a felony charge. He scrambled away into the shadows.

The walk to the gate felt much shorter with Silas beside me. My drivers car was waiting with its lights flashing.

"Thanks for today," I whispered, turning to him.

Silas leaned down, his lips inches from mine. "Your boyfriend threw away the lunch I made for you. How are you going to make it up to me?"

I couldn't move. If I breathed too deeply, our lips would touch. "Ill... Ill make you lunch tomorrow."

"Good. And youll eat it with me."

"Okay."

As soon as I got into the car, I put my head in my hands. How was I going to explain this to Jason?