That Baby Was Never Yours

The night I was discharged from the hospital, Cherry shattered what was left of my soul.

With a chilling casualness, she told me the name of the person who had kept me prisoner five years agothe person who had delighted in my systematic destruction. It was Bianca.

Bianca. My younger brother Jaces wife.

The news felt like a physical explosion inside my skull. My voice shook as I begged her to tell me she was joking, but Cherry just continued, her face a mask of terrifying serenity.

She told me that five years ago, Jace had discovered he was sterile. His mother-in-law already despised him, looking for any excuse to throw him out of the prestigious family hed married into. To protect Jaces position as a pampered son-in-law, Cherry had struck a deal with him. She agreed to let mehis own brotherbe used as his surrogate.

But Bianca had always nursed a sick, twisted grudge against me. So, the three of them conspired. They locked me away, subjecting me to day after day of unimaginable torment, until they finally broke meuntil they destroyed the very thing that made me a man.

I fought back the bile rising in my throat, my lips trembling uncontrollably. I asked her why she was telling me this now.

Cherry let out a long, theatrical sigh, as if she were finally dropping a heavy burden shed been forced to carry. She said she was tired of the secrets. She told me the child shed given meNoahwas her way of paying back the debt.

She even laughed, a small, dainty sound. "They say men soften up once they become fathers. I guess its true. Youre so much more... compliant lately. Youve finally learned how to be good."

I forced the corners of my mouth to twitch into something resembling a smile. I didn't say a word.

She didn't know.

I wasnt becoming "good."

I was becoming a ghost. And I had a secret of my own that I had never confessed to her.

The truth was a tidal wave, but even as I drowned, I caught the dissonance in her words.

"The child you 'owed' me... what does that mean?"

Cherry hesitated, a flicker of guilt crossing her features. She rubbed her neck, then decided to go for broke.

"Before all of that happened... when I was pregnant with your first? I didn't want it. I wasn't ready to be tied down to you like that. So... I put some oil on the top of the stairs."

The world tilted. My fingers wouldn't stop shaking. That babythe one I had spent every night talking to through her skin, the one I had built a nursery for in my heartwasn't lost to a tragic accident. She had murdered him.

He was seven months along. He was a person. Two more months and he would have seen the light of day. Instead, his own mother snuffed him out for her own convenience.

My heart felt like it was being crushed by an invisible hand. I gasped for air, my lungs refusing to expand.

Seeing my distress, Cherry grabbed my hand, pressing her lips to my knuckles with a sickening tenderness. "I know it hurts, Calvin. But we have Noah now. Its the same thing."

I looked at the infant sleeping in the bassinet, tears blurring my vision. "Its not the same."

Cherrys brow furrowed. She dropped my hand, her voice turning sharp and cold. "How is it different? A child is a child. Just look at Noah as if that other baby came back to you. Problem solved."

"Besides," she continued, her tone rising with indignation, "after the miscarriage, I saw how depressed you were. I dropped everything to nurse you back to health. I cooked every meal. I stayed by your side every second just to see you smile again... Calvin, I don't owe you anything anymore!"

A new child and a few home-cooked meals. That was her price for the soul-shredding agony of losing a son.

I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't.

Cherrys raised voice woke Noah. He began to wail. She immediately scooped him up, cooing to him with a softness I once found beautiful.

When shed first told me she was pregnant with Noah, she seemed even more thrilled than I was. Shed prepped the room months in advance; the closets were bursting with tiny clothes. She used to let me feel her belly, listening as I read stories to the bump. This child was bathed in a maternal love the first one never knew.

She really did love Noah.

But now, the more she loved him, the more my heart screamed.

Because Noah wasn't Cherrys. He was Biancasthe woman who had kept me in the dark and broken my body. They had been lying to me from the very start.

Cherry brought Noah over to me, gesturing for me to hold him. I looked at the child with bloodshot eyes, my arms remaining frozen at my sides.

A flash of disgust crossed Cherrys face. "And here I thought youd finally learned your place. I see youve still got that temper."

"If you're going to be like this, then forget the baptism party tomorrow. We can just head down to the courthouse and sign the divorce papers right now!"

I stared at her, wanting to rip her chest open to see if there was a heart in there or just a block of ice.

Five years ago, shed threatened divorce too. It was right after Id caught her in bed with Jace, our "adopted" brother. My world, which I had painstakingly tried to tape back together, shattered all over again.

I had lost my mind. Id attacked Jace, filming the aftermath, screaming that Id send it to his mother-in-law.

Cherry had ended my hysteria with a single, stinging slap.

"I was just in a bad mood," shed said. "I drank too much. If you cant handle it, then leave."

A bad mood. Back then, my greatest fear was her being unhappy. I was ashamed of my "unclean" body, ashamed of what had happened to me. I had knelt at her feet, sobbing, begging her not to leave. I had even started hitting myself, convinced that her cheating was my faultthat I wasn't man enough to keep her satisfied.

Cherry had pulled my spiraling body into her arms then. "Cal, stop! Youve already lost one child. If you keep this up, youre going to break yourself."

That was the reason she gave me to keep living. Now I realized she wasn't worried about me. She just didn't want her brother's dream of being a "father" to die with me.

Seeing my face go pale, Cherry assumed she had won again. The "divorce" threat always worked.

"Cal," she whispered. "Just be good, and we can be a happy family of three. Youre tired. Go to sleep. Ill take care of the baby tonight."

That night, Noah cried four times in the next room. Cherry handled him alone. She didn't come to me. I didn't go to her.

The next day was the party. I sat in my room, listening to the muffled voices of guests praising the "beautiful baby boy." I felt nothing.

The door clicked open. A soft, feminine voice drifted in. "Brother-in-law? Why are you hiding in here?"

Jace walked in, leading five-year-old Benny by the hand. Benny was Biancas son. The moment he saw me, he sprinted over and threw his arms around my legs. "Uncle Cal! I missed you so much!"

That face was a miniature of Biancas, but his eyes... his eyes were mine.

The questions that had haunted me for years were suddenly answered in the curve of a child's eyelid.

My stomach turned. I shoved Benny away with a force that sent him sprawling. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!"

Benny hit the floor hard, looking up in shock. Jace, however, just smirked.

In the past, whenever Jace saw Benny getting close to me, hed turn passive-aggressive. Last Fathers Day, Benny had made me a card. Jace had flown into a rage, and to punish me, hed kissed Cherry right in front of my face.

"You try to steal my son, Ill take your wife," hed hissed.

Id tried to tear him apart, but Cherry had held me back. "Hes just jealous because the kid likes you. It was just a kiss, Cal. Dont be so dramatic."

I had responded by smashing every vase in the house. Jace found it hilarious. He realized that the more affection Benny showed me, the more "intimate" Cherry would get with him to "balance things out." He loved watching me go insane.

Jace didn't even pick Benny up. He just looked at me. "What's wrong, Cal? Benny loves you. Hes been begging to see you since you went to the hospital."

Just then, Cherry walked in holding Noah. She frowned at Jace. "I told you not to bring the boy in here."

Jace draped an arm around Cherrys shoulder, his voice dripping with false innocence. "I just thought Cal might want to hold his son."

My blood ran cold. He knew. He knew Cherry had confessed everything. He brought Benny here specifically to twist the knife.

I grabbed a glass vase from the nightstand and hurled it at them. Cherry pulled Jace out of the way, her eyes wide with fury. "Calvin! Have you lost your mind?"

"Yes! Im f***ing insane!"

I lunged for Jace, my hands aiming for his throat.

A second later, Cherrys boot connected with my abdomen. It wasn't a shove; it was a deliberate, powerful kick. She hit me right where my surgical wounds were still healing. The pain was blinding. I collapsed, cold sweat pouring down my face.

"Cal..." Cherrys expression flickered with a brief moment of regret. She started toward me.

Suddenly, a shout came from the hallway. "Fire! There's a fire in the kitchen!"

Thick, oily smoke began billowing under the door. Cherry didn't hesitate. She grabbed Jace with one hand and Noah with the other, and she ran.

She didn't look back.

I lay on the floor, paralyzed by the pain in my gut, gasping for air that was rapidly turning to ash. Just as I felt my consciousness slipping, a figure burst through the smoke.

"Calvin! Where are you?"

I blinked, trying to focus. When the womans face came into view, my entire body locked up. Five years of suppressed agony came screaming back.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" I shrieked, thrashing wildly.

But Bianca pinned my limbs down with a strength I remembered all too well. She held me just like she had in that basement.

"Shut up! Do you want to die?"

Being touched by her was worse than death. I fought, I screamed, and then I simply went limp, vomiting onto the floor.

Once we were outside in the fresh air, Biancacovered in scratches from my struggledumped me onto the grass with a snarl. The world went black.

I woke up in a hospital bed. Cherry wasn't there. She sent a text instead.

Im so sorry. Jace was right next to me and I had Noah... I couldn't reach you. But as soon as I got out, I told Bianca to go back for you.

Im too busy with Noah and the insurance adjusters for the fire. Bianca will stay and look after you while you recover.

"Cherry, are you serious?" I whispered into the phone when I finally got her to pick up. My voice was a broken rasp. "You know what she did to me..."

Cherrys voice was clipped, impatient. "Stop being so dramatic, Calvin. That was years ago. Get over it."

In the background, I heard Jaces voice. "Cherry, honey, I think I twisted my ankle during the fire. Come help me to the bathroom?"

The call disconnected.

She wasn't just taking care of the baby; she was nursing Jace. She had chosen to save him, chosen to care for him, and handed me over to my rapist.

It was a knife that had been lodged in my back for five years, and she had just hammered it in to the hilt. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out.

Bianca sat by my bed, looking smug. She poured a glass of water and held it out. I knocked it out of her hand.

She didn't even get angry as the water soaked her sleeve. "Don't be like that, Cal. After all, we were 'married' for quite a while in that basement. Think of how many nights we shared."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. My hands gripped the bedsheets so hard my knuckles turned white.

Biancas eyes dropped to my mouth. "Still biting your lip when youre scared? Some things never change."

She reached out to touch my face. I reacted like a wounded animal, grabbing a piece of the shattered water glass from the floor and slashing it across her forearm.

"Get out!" I screamed.

The glass sliced my own palm open, blood blooming across my hand, but I felt no pain. Bianca, startled, finally backed away and left the room.

The day I was discharged, Cherry finally showed up. She brought a bouquet of camelliasmy favorite.

She took me to the bistro where we had our first date. She ordered the spicy tofu Id craved during my "recovery" at home. On the drive back, she talked incessantly about Noahhow hed smiled, how hed even peed on her face and she thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window at the blurred city.

As we passed the courthouse, I spoke for the first time that day. "I want a divorce."

Cherry slammed on the brakes. "What?"

She looked at me with genuine disbelief. The man who had been too broken to even consider leaving, even after the cheating, was finally saying the words.

Her phone buzzed. A message from Bianca. Busy? Calvin gets out today. Want me to go pick him up?

In an instant, Cherrys eyes turned murderous. "Is that why? Youre leaving me for her?"

"What?"

"You spent a few days with her and now youre hooked again? Is that it? Now that you know there's a kid between you, you can't wait to crawl back into her bed and relive the 'glory days' of being her toy? You pathetic slut."

The words hit me like a physical assault. I couldn't believe this was how she saw me.

"I didn't"

Cherry unbuckled her seatbelt and lunged across the center console, pinning me against the door. "You like being forced, don't you? Is that what you need?"

She began ripping the buttons off my shirt, her teeth sinking into the skin of my neck.

"Cherry, stop! Get off me!" I summoned every ounce of strength I had left and slapped her across the face. "Go back to your brother! Leave me alone!"

Cherrys eyes went red. She reached over, opened the passenger door, and shoved me out of the car.

I tumbled onto the pavement. She sped off, leaving me disheveled and exposed, as pedestrians stopped to stare and whisper. I wrapped my arms around myself, shielding my torn clothes, and began the long walk home.

The villa Cherry had bought for my "recovery" was gone, a charred skeleton of a house. That peaceful time wed spent therethe illusion of a happy familyhad gone up in smoke.

When I entered our temporary apartment, I walked straight into Cherry and Jace wrapped around each other on the sofa. They didn't even look embarrassed. I walked past them without a word.

I was packing my bags when Jace strolled into the bedroom. He was wearing a silk robe that left nothing to the imagination, his skin covered in fresh marks.

"You know, Calvin, my wife let you sleep in her bed for years. Its only fair I get a turn with Cherry. Im still the one getting the short end of the stick here."

I ignored him and kept folding my shirts. My silence irritated him. He stepped forward and grabbed a tiny, hand-knitted sweater from my suitcasesomething Id made for my first son. He dropped it on the floor and ground his heel into it.

"The kids dead, Cal. Whats the point of keeping this trash?"

I froze.

Jace leaned in, a sadistic glint in his eyes. "You know, while Cherry was playing nursemaid to you, I told her I was having nightmares. I told her the ghost of that 'accident' baby was coming for me. Do you know what she did?"

My heart stopped.

"She took the box of ashes you kept on the mantel. She found a local occultist, someone who specializes in 'binding' spirits. And then she buried your brat in the dirt right next to the municipal landfill... to keep him from 'haunting' me."

Something inside me snapped. I lunged at Jace like a demon, clawing and tearing at him, my fingers locking around his throat.

Cherry rushed in and ripped me off him, delivering a backhand that made my ears ring. She threw a set of papers onto the bed. Her signature was already there.

"Sign them, Calvin. But think hard. Do you really think Bianca is going to marry you once I'm gone?"

I let out a harsh, jagged laugh. I didn't even look at her as I signed my name.

Cherrys face contorted into something ugly. Just then, Noah started crying in the other room.

She looked at me coldly. "I'm keeping custody. Since you're leaving, you can give him his last feeding."

I stared at her. I had never "fed" Noah. Cherry had always insisted on the nanny doing it, or she did it herself. She used to tell me it was okay, that she knew I had "barriers" and we could take it slow.

Now, she was using the baby as a weapon.

"Im not doing it."

I grabbed my suitcase, but she snatched my wrist. Her voice was ice. "You're going to do it."

She shoved me onto the bed and, before I could react, she produced a pair of zip-ties, wrenching my hands behind my back and securing them.

My shirt was torn open in the struggle. She picked up a bowl of mashed baby food.

I thrashed, screaming. "Cherry! You monster! Let me go!"

Bianca and Jace appeared in the doorway, watching the show. Cherry didn't care. She pinched my jaw open and forced a spoonful of the cold, sticky mush into my mouth. She held my mouth shut, forcing me to chew. I couldn't swallow; I couldn't spit it out. I just felt the humiliation of the saliva-soaked mass in my mouth.

Then, she pressed her fingers into my jaw, forcing me to lean over the crying infant. She tilted my head, forcing me to pass the food from my mouth into Noahs.

In that moment, the last shred of my dignity was ground into the dirt.

"Why..." I sobbed, my eyes squeezed shut. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Cherry leaned into my ear. "See, Cal? Noah stopped crying. He ate. Are you really going to walk away and never see him again?"

Revolting. She was absolutely revolting.

Eventually, she cut the ties. "Think about it. Can you really give up your son? Can you give up me?"

She picked up the satisfied baby and walked out. Jace and Bianca followed, wearing matching grins.

I lay on the bed like a broken doll. My tears had run dry.

She asked if I could give them up.

How could I not?

I didn't want her. I didn't want the child.

I changed my clothes, wiped my face, and left a document on the bedside table next to the divorce papers. Then I walked out of that house and didn't look back.

Cherry returned to the room an hour later, expecting to find a broken man ready to apologize. Instead, she found an empty room and a missing suitcase.

He was actually gone.

She began smashing things in a frenzy until she saw the paper Id left behind. Her face went deathly pale. Her hands shook as she picked up the DNA test.