Loving You Was My Mistake

A decade ago, a blazing inferno swallowed everything. Kevin's adopted sister, Seraphina, was lost in the flames trying to save me. After that, no matter how I pleaded or cried, I never saw a flicker of love in his eyes.

Until one day, I stumbled upon a thick stack of love letters hidden awayeach word overflowing with profound affection. The truth was laid bare. I finally understood the reason for his coldness.

Just as I prepared to seek him out and apologize, news reached me: he'd been kidnapped. Bullets rained down around the scene. Without a second thought, I threw myself in front of him.

Crimson stained my vision. For the first time, his perpetually indifferent face fractured. I raised a blood-soaked hand, trembling as I wiped a tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry, Kevin. I was your burden. I destroyed your happiness."

"Loving you was my mistake."

Before consciousness faded, I heard his tormented scream. An endless bitterness seeped away with my life.

This time, we were finally even. If there's a next life, I wish only for you to find your heart's desire.

The acrid smoke stung my eyes, blurring my vision with tears. Seraphina's frantic cries echoed in my ears.

It was a nightmare, yet I was on the verge of joyful tears.

I had returned to the day of the fire.

"Seraphina! Where are you?"

Kevin's voice was laced with desperate urgency.

In my past life, his concern for her would have driven me to insane jealousy. But now, it was a sound of immense relief.

I waved frantically, then, with a surge of adrenaline, shoved Seraphina into his arms just before a massive beam crashed down. His eyes widened in stunned disbelief as I leaped from the third floor.

Even if it meant death, even as every nerve ending shrieked in agony, I embraced it.

I woke up in a sterile hospital room. Kevin stood over me, his expression etched with profound disappointment.

"Ivy. You've gone too far this time."

"Just because I didn't accept your confession, you set Seraphina's room on fire?"

"If I hadn't gotten there in time, both of you would have..."

"I'm sorry."

My immediate, unwavering apology cut him off mid-sentence. His lips parted, then closed, unable to utter another word of accusation. Everyone knew Ivy Kingston, the spoiled heiress, never bowed her head. Not even after her parents' death, not with Kevin, the rising star of the business world, constantly watching over her.

I met his dark eyes, my voice steady.

"I started the fire."

"And about my confession before... I was being foolish. Just pretend it never happened."

The fire had nothing to do with me in my previous life, but he hadn't believed a single word I said then either. His heart was already set. Any struggle would be futile.

Kevin rubbed his temples, his expression a complex mix of confusion and something I couldn't quite decipher.

"As long as you understand your mistake."

"And the confession..."

"Mr. Pendleton, Miss Seraphina is awake and asking for you."

He shot up from his chair, rushing out of the room without a backward glance.

In my last life, I had confessed my love to him just before the fire, pressing the jade pendant my mother had left me into his hand. He had panicked, his face a mask of repulsion.

"I only see you as a sister. This... this disgusting infatuation ends now."

He fled, and my obsession deepened.

But now, all that stubborn devotion, all the love and hate from a lifetime ago, had dissipated.

I calmly peeled an orange, listening to the chaos from the room next door.

"This water is too hot! Get her a cooler one!"

"Is she really not burned? Check her again!"

"Don't cry, big brother's here."

My glass sat empty on the bedside table, fresh blood seeping through the bandages on my arm. I popped an orange segment into my mouth.

It was sour, bitter, but I knew I had to get used to it. Because the unloved only invite scorn when they show their pain.

Kevin returned while the nurse was changing my dressings. I didn't fuss or demand his attention as I used to, just let her do her work in silence.

He took two steps forward, reaching out as if to steady my arm and inspect my injuries, but I subtly pulled away.

"Kevin, I'm fine now. Go be with Seraphina."

He sighed, a weary sound.

"Ivy, you're both my sisters."

"I care for you both equally. Please don't make things difficult for her, okay?"

He thought I was still jealous, still fighting for his attention like a child. But this time, I was serious.

I opened my palm, my expression earnest.

"Can you please give me back the pendant I gave you?"

"It was my mother's last memento. It's meant for my husband."

The pendant dropped into my palm, stirring echoes of the past.

My parents were always busy, rarely home. I was a frail, ill-tempered girl in my youth, completely friendless.

Then my father brought Kevin home.

The lonely, stubborn girl I was finally had a patient, gentle older brother.

If I refused my medicine, he would coax me patiently, rewarding me with a piece of candy afterwards. If I threw a tantrum, he would gently stroke my hair and reason with me.

The darkest nights were filled with his comforting voice. The dread of school vanished with him by my side. He even chose to save me over Seraphina in the face of death.

That innate kindness, that inherent goodness, had led me to believe he loved me.

But after Seraphina died, his smile vanished. He was alive, but his soul and all his love had been consumed by that fire. And I, too, had been reduced to ashes alongside him.

Kevin held the pendant's chain, his expression slightly uncomfortable.

"Why don't I hold onto it for you? You don't have a special someone right now anyway."

"I do."

I looked at him, uttering a lie I barely believed myself.

"Kevin, I only see you as family. From now on, you'll only ever be my family."

The chain slipped through his fingers, and his face inexplicably darkened. But I knew it was all a facade. He was only acting out of duty and gratitude.

After a long silence, Kevin nodded. "Perhaps that's for the best."

"There's one more thing. I'd like Seraphina to move in with us to recover."

"Can you let her have the master bedroom? She's afraid of the dark."

The image of him leaving a nightlight on for me, staying by my side through the night, flashed vividly in my mind. Yet, in front of Seraphina, he seemed to forget all of it.

I lowered my gaze. "Of course. I'll move to the house on the west side of town."

"Miss Kingston, are you saying you don't welcome me?"

Seraphina walked in, her pale face artfully arranged in a look of fragile vulnerability.

Kevin soothingly patted her shoulder. "She's always been a bit spoiled, don't mind her."

"You're still recovering. I don't feel comfortable with you not being close to me."

My hand instinctively clutched the bedsheet, then weakly released it. Never mind. I'll just move out the moment I'm discharged. That way, I won't bother them.

Seeing me remain silent, Seraphina started to pout. "Big brother, I want to eat the pumpkin pancakes from the bakery downstairs."

Kevin nodded, his expression doting. "Alright, I'll go get them for you now."

He turned to me. "Do you want anything?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you."

Kevin glanced back at me, but said nothing more as he left.

Once he was gone, the pitiful expression on Seraphina's face twisted into one of pure disgust. "Ivy, you have absolutely no shame."

"Becoming my sister-in-law? Dream on."

I looked at her, my gaze momentarily distant. "I won't bother him anymore."

"Who would believe that?" Seraphina sneered, her eyes gleaming with malice. "Tell me, if something were to happen to me, do you think my brother would still let you cling to him?"

Footsteps sounded outside the door. Seraphina immediately swept a vase off the table. Glass shards scattered across the floor. She then deliberately fell to her knees amongst them.

Crimson blood mingled with the broken glass, making the scene appear even more horrifying.

Kevin burst into the room, his face contorted with rage. He slapped me hard across the face.

"Ivy, I actually thought you had changed."

"You know she has an old leg injury. Why would you force her to this?"

My cheek stung, but my heart felt a chilling emptiness. The last time he struck me was in my past life, after Seraphina died in the fire. I should have realized it long ago. I was just too foolish.

Seraphina's tears flowed freely, making her look utterly heartbroken. "It's my fault, brother. I said something wrong, and Miss Kingston punished me."

Kevin scooped her into his arms, then cast a cold, furious look at me. "Ivy, you truly lack a proper upbringing. It's time someone taught you a lesson."

The dull ache in my heart suddenly sharpened, becoming an unbearable pain. I stared, pale-faced, at his retreating back as he carried Seraphina away.

I lowered my gaze, noticing the bag Kevin had dropped in his haste. Among the pile of pumpkin pancakes were two red bean buns, my favorite.

I picked one up and put it in my mouth. It was already cold. Mixed with my tears, it held no sweetness at all.

Kevin was true to his word. The moment I was discharged from the hospital, he ordered me to kneel in the garden. The uneven flagstones dug painfully into my knees.

I suddenly felt a sense of dj vu. When I was a child and my father punished me with kneeling, Kevin would always stand defiantly in front of me, taking the punishment himself. He'd say that a girl's knees were more delicate, prone to lasting injury.

Back then, I believed he genuinely cared for me. Now, I understood. He was simply thinking of Seraphina. Seraphina, with her old leg injury.

A long shadow fell over me, blocking the sunlight. Kevin stood there, his gaze complex, but his voice sharp with command.

"Do you understand what you did wrong?"

I looked up, meeting his eyes. "I was jealous of your feelings for Seraphina. I couldn't stand her."

"You..."

A flicker of panic crossed Kevin's face, and he seemed about to speak.

The nearby bushes rustled faintly. Seraphina, her eyes red, emerged from behind them and threw her arms around him.

"Big brother, is what she said true?"

I watched the struggle of love and pain on Kevin's face. He pressed his lips into a tight line, then after a long moment, gently pushed her away.

"Seraphina, let's not talk about this right now, okay?"

His tone was so incredibly gentle, as if he were handling a priceless treasure. Yet, when he spoke to me, his voice was always sharp and cutting. This was the difference between love and indifference.

"Mr. Pendleton, the police have sent over the hospital surveillance footage."

"This time... Miss Kingston is innocent."

A flash of alarm crossed Seraphina's face and vanished just as quickly. Kevin instinctively moved to shield her, then lowered his head to watch the video.

His palm trembled slightly. He belatedly reached out to touch my face, but I calmly moved away. He retracted his hand, clenching it into a fist, his voice laced with apology.

"Ivy, I apologize on Seraphina's behalf. She's just too dependent on me."

"Please, considering she has no parents..."

He trailed off, seemingly remembering that I, too, was an orphan.

I understood, really.

He promised to spend every birthday with me but broke it because Seraphina wanted his homemade porridge. He promised to attend my graduation but left me staring at an empty seat the entire night because he was at Seraphina's ceremony. He was allergic to pollen, so I removed every flower from our garden, planting only trees. Yet, he personally cultivated acres of rose gardens for Seraphina.

That's how favoritism works. In my last life, I clung to it fiercely, but it only brought us endless torment.

Lost in thought for a moment, I spoke, my voice hoarse. "She's just insecure. Her feelings for you are more than just dependence."

"She's in love with you."

They loved each other, but the pressures of society held them back. So, I would be the one to push him.

Kevin's gaze darted away, filled with evasion. "I only see her as a sister."

Hearing his weak denial, I offered a self-deprecating smile. Compared to his fury and disappointment when I confessed, his reaction now was so raw, so genuine.

I was about to say more, but he cut me off. "Don't ever say such things again. It's unfair to Seraphina."

Seraphina's tears flowed freely. "Fine, then don't ever come looking for me again!" She turned and ran off without a backward glance.

Kevin rushed to follow her, but halfway, he seemed to remember something.

"Ivy, this was my fault. I'll make it up to you."

"Just name it, and I'll agree."

Watching his retreating back, I let out a weak, bitter smile. The thing I wanted most, I would never get. So, I'd just have to find a little sweetness for my future.

I typed a few words into my phone. "I want red bean buns."

In the evening, Kevin drove me to "Liu's Pumpkin Pancake Shop." The moment we stepped out of the car, a rich, sweet aroma wafted towards us. The owner's cheerful voice boomed. "Fresh pumpkin pancakes! Buy eight, get two red bean buns free!"

My steps faltered. I didn't even react when Kevin pressed a bag of pastries into my hand.

He waved his hand in front of my face. "What's wrong?"

I snapped out of my daze, offering a self-deprecating smile. "Nothing."

Just feeling incredibly foolish. Knowing the ending, having made my choice. Yet, every time a shard of glass caught the light, I still imagined it was candy. Swallowing it, I'd bleed.

Kevin tore open the bag and offered me one. This time, the red bean bun was piping hot, and it wasn't a freebie. But in my mouth, it still didn't taste like what I truly wanted.

After a long silence, I spoke. "There's something else. I want to study abroad in Europe."

Kevin's hands, gripping the steering wheel, whitened at the knuckles. He instinctively refused.

"No!"