Replacing Me Before I Die

Life has a cruel way of pulling the rug out from under you just when you think youve hit rock bottom.

When the doctor handed me the biopsy resultsa cold, clinical death sentence labeled Stage IV CancerI thought that was the worst it could get. I was wrong. Before I could even process the word terminal, I was dragged into the shadows of a vacant lot by a group of drunken men. I spent the night enduring a nightmare that no words in the English language are equipped to describe.

By the time a passerby found me and called the police, I was more ghost than woman.

At the precinct, the officers told me to call my family. My parents sounded frantic over the phone, claiming they were in the next state visiting old friends and would head back immediately. My two older brothers swore they were on their way, their voices thick with a protective rage I almost believed.

But I sat on that hard, plastic bench in the empty waiting room for an entire day. When someone finally showed up, it was only my eldest brother, David.

He looked devastated, shedding his designer coat to wrap it around my shivering frame.

"God, Lauren, Im so sorry," he choked out, his voice cracking. "Its all my fault. If Brianna hadn't been feeling unwell, I never would have sent you to meet that client alone. I never would have let this happen Ill make it up to you, I swear."

Just then, his phone buzzed. His face went pale, and he ducked into the hallway to take the call. He didn't realize I had quietly followed him.

"Mom," he whispered, his tone hesitant and strained. "We did this to her just so she wouldn't ruin Briannas welcome-to-the-family gala. Don't you think this went way too far?"

The words hit me like a physical blow.

At that exact moment, a notification popped up in the family group chat. A photo. It was deleted almost instantly, but the image was already seared into my retinas: Brianna, dressed in a gown that probably cost more than a mid-sized sedan, was beaming, her arm linked tightly with my fiancs. Standing beside them were my parents and my other brother, Michael. They looked like the picture of a perfect American dynasty.

The ice in my veins turned to absolute zero.

Because I had dared to oppose my parents decision to "adopt" Brianna as their goddaughter, they had orchestrated my destruction.

I looked out at the grey, smoggy city sky and started to laugh. I laughed until the tears carved tracks through the dirt and dried blood on my face.

Fine. I didn't have much time left anyway. I wasn't going to spend it playing a part in their sick little play.

David hung up on my mother and dialed another number. His voice was no longer trembling with grief; it was sharp with fury. "Who told you to actually go through with the rape? Youre not getting another dime of the balance!"

"What? You want more money? Youre dreaming! I should hand you over to the cops myself!"

Whatever the person on the other end said made David punch the doorframe in a fit of silent rage.

I watched his reddened eyes for a moment before turning back into the station.

A few minutes later, he walked in and approached the officer taking my statement. "Is there security footage from where my sister was attacked?"

The officer looked up, confused. "Your sister just dropped the charges. Do you want to refile?"

David spun around to look at me, but all he found was a faint, hollow smile.

"Let it go, David," I said softly. "I dont want this getting out. Im still supposed to get married, remember?"

His eyes welled up instantly. He pulled me into a sob-wracked embrace. "Lauren, I am so, so sorry."

At this point, I didn't care about my reputation. I just knew that if those men were caught, the trail would lead straight back to my brother. And despite everything, David was the only one who had ever shown me a semblance of warmth.

Before Brianna entered the picture, my brothers and my father had treated me like the center of their universe. Whenever my mothercold, perfectionist Katherinesharpened her tongue against me, they were my shield.

But everything changed when Brianna arrived.

David drove me back to the estate.

When we walked in, the whole family was gathered in the living room. They had already changed out of their gala attire, masquerading as a family worried sick.

Katherine was the first to rush forward. She grabbed my hands and began to weep. If I hadn't spent years watching her calculated moves, I might have believed she actually cared about her biological daughter.

"Lauren, my heart is breaking for you," she sobbed.

Michael, the doctor of the family, stepped forward next. "Lauren, I heard you dropped the case. Are you sure about that? Youre really not going to pursue it?"

I caught the subtle note of relief in his voice. The bitter realization deepened: they all knew. Every single one of them.

I simply nodded.

Then my father, Robert, stepped out from behind my mother. He looked small, his eyes darting nervously. "Honey, its been a long night. You must be starving. Let me go make you a bowl of pasta."

I hadn't shed a single tear since learning the truth, but my fathers simple, genuine offer of comfort broke something inside me. The dam burst, and I started to sob.

I moved to hug him, but my mothers sharp voice cut through the air.

"Food? Is that all you think about? Youre useless!"

Robert flinched, shrinking back into himself. "I Ill just warm up some milk for her then. So she can sleep."

He hurried into the kitchen. My father was a man who had married into my mothers old-money family and had been stepped on for forty years. I knew he must have hated their plan, but he was too weak to ever stop her.

I gestured for everyone to sit. I was ready to tell them about the cancer.

"I won't be able to handle the firm's accounts anymore. Ive been diagnosed with"

"Lauren, honey," Brianna interrupted, sliding over to wrap her arm around mine in a show of faux-intimacy. "I just graduated, and Mom said I should start helping out at the office. Don't worry about a thing. Ill take care of the company. You just focus on resting."

I pulled my arm away without looking at her. I tried to continue, but Katherine cut me off.

"Briannas right. And don't look too much into her calling me 'Mom'she just got caught up in the moment. Given what youve been through, Lauren, you need a long break. David will help Brianna find her footing. The company will be fine."

There it was. I couldn't even finish a sentence in my own home.

What was I even hoping for?

"Fine," I said.

I turned to go upstairs.

Just as I reached my door, Brianna called out, "Oh, Lauren? Chris was so upset when he heard about the assault. He left in a rage. You should probably call him and smooth things over."

My heart cramped. Tears fell silently as I shut the door.

In the shower, the hot water hit my bruised skin, and I began to shake uncontrollably. I let out a jagged, silent scream into the tiles.

Chris and I had a pact. We were waiting until our wedding night. I had wanted to give him that one thing, that one pure moment.

And now, that choice had been stolen from me by my own blood.

When I stepped out, I saw the glass of warm milk on my nightstand. My father had been here.

I opened the door to go find him, to just be near the one person who wasn't a monster. But as I cracked the door, a burst of laughter drifted up from the living room.

Brianna was curled up next to Katherine, telling some funny story. My brothers were both laughing along.

Only my father sat apart, glancing toward the stairs with a face full of sorrow.

I closed the door. The silence of my room felt like a tomb.

I picked up my phone and scrolled aimlessly until I hit Briannas Instagram.

It was a gallery of the gala. The perfect family. There was Katherine, looking at Brianna with the kind of maternal pride shed never once shown me. And there was Chris, looking dapper in his tuxedo, with Briannas hand possessively on his arm.

She had set her profile so I could see everything. She wanted me to see.

When Katherine first brought her home, I had treated her like a sister. But I quickly saw through the acthow she flirted with my brothers, how she played the victim to get my mothers sympathy. I had warned them, and for my trouble, I had been branded as "jealous" and "spiteful."

I opened my chat with Chris. I typed three words: Were breaking up.

He replied almost instantly.

Lauren, theyre saying you made up this whole rape story just to ruin Briannas night. Is that true?

I didn't lie, I typed back.

Then why did you drop the charges? Why are you acting like this? Lauren, just tell me the truth for once!

How could I explain it? How could I tell him that my entire family had conspired to have me violated? No one would believe that. And Chris had been best friends with David since they were kids.

I didn't have the energy to fight for a life that was already ending.

Were over, I sent. Then I turned off the phone and buried myself under the covers, trying to find some warmth in the dark.

The next morning, the house was empty.

A quick check of social media confirmed that Katherine had taken the whole "family" out for an upscale brunch at the Heights. Brianna posted a photo of them all clinking mimosas with the caption: Family is everything. Blessed.

It was as if I didn't exist. As if the girl who had been broken on a dirt lot forty-eight hours ago was just a bad memory theyd already scrubbed away.

The front door opened. It was Chris, carrying a massive bouquet of tulips.

"Lauren, you look terrible."

I didn't offer a greeting. "We broke up, Chris. Why are you here?"

He stared at me, his voice trembling. "Did it did it really happen? Were you really hurt?"

I thought I was prepared for this. I thought I had hardened my heart. But hearing him ask made the grief crash over me all over again.

Suddenly, the front door swung open again. The "family" was back, Briannas laughter ringing through the foyer.

She marched over and snatched the flowers out of Chriss hand.

"Oh, Chris! Youre so sweet! How did you know tulips were my favorite?"

Chris stood there, frozen, his eyes never leaving mine.

I forced a thin smile. "Yeah, Chris. Theyre perfect for her."

I turned to go upstairs, but my father stopped me. He held out a white paper bag. "Lauren, I brought you some dim sum from the restaurant."

As I reached for it, Katherines voice whipped across the room.

"Bringing leftovers home from a place like that? How embarrassing! You have no class, Robert. None!"

My father flinched. The bag slipped from his hand, and a container of shrimp dumplings hit the floor, rolling across the hardwood.

Brianna chimed in, "Yeah, Dad, youre really making Mom look bad."

I looked at my father, who was staring at the floor in shame. I did something I never thought Id do. I knelt down, picked up a dumpling that had rolled through the dust, and popped it into my mouth.

I looked at my father and smiled. "Its delicious. Thank you, Dad."

Chriss expression turned thunderous. He stepped toward David. "You all went out for brunch and left Lauren here starving? Alone?"

He grabbed the tulips back from Brianna and shoved them into my hands.

"These are for you, Lauren. Im sorry about last night. I stayed up all night thinking. I don't care if youre as petty as they say, or if if it really happened. Im not leaving you."

Brianna immediately dissolved into theatrical tears, burying her face in Katherines shoulder.

Katherine glared at Chris. "That was incredibly rude. You don't take back a gift."

"Its okay, Mom," Brianna sobbed. "Im just Im just so moved. Lauren was ruined by all those men last night, and Chris is still willing to take her back. Hes a saint."

Chriss face went white. "What do you mean, 'all those men'?"

He turned to David, grabbing him by the collar. "You told me she was making it up!"

David looked at the floor, his face a mask of guilt. "At first, we thought we didn't realize it was that many."

Brianna added fuel to the fire. "It was horrible. I heard there were five or six of them. They said she was torn up."

"ENOUGH!" I screamed. "Shut up! All of you! Do you enjoy digging into my skin over and over again?"

I turned to Chris, my voice cold and sharp. "Chris, Ive wanted to break up with you for months. Being with you is like staring at a blank wall. Its boring. Im bored of you."

"Im the CEO of a multi-million dollar firm, and what are you? A starving artist with no ambition? Youre not in my league. Get out. I never want to see you again."

I bolted for my room before the sob could escape my throat. Once the door was locked, I collapsed. The words Id just said felt like knives in my own chest.

I wanted to run into his arms. I wanted to tell him everything. But I was dying. I didn't have a future to give him.

I didn't see Chris for a week. Word was hed taken a flight to Europe.

I dragged my failing body to the office and spent the week systematically transferring every bit of my authority to David and Brianna. I tied up every loose end.

Then, I bought a small cottage on the coast, three hours away. A place to disappear.

Before I left, I asked the family to dinner one last time.

I raised a glass. "Mom, Dadthank you for raising me. David, Michaelthanks for being my brothers. To the memories."

I downed the wine in one go.

"One more thing. Im moving out tomorrow. I won't be coming back."

Brianna started her usual whimpering. "Lauren, I know you hate me. Youre doing this to make Mom and Dad feel guilty for adopting me, aren't you? What do I have to do to make you happy?"

"It has nothing to do with you," I said, my voice dead. "I have terminal cancer. Im going away because I don't want my family to watch me rot."

Katherine slammed her hand on the table. "Enough! I am officially adopting Brianna, and no amount of lies or 'terminal' drama is going to change that!"

David sighed. "Lauren, don't curse yourself just to get attention. Were just adding a sister. We still love you."

Michael, the doctor, narrowed his eyes. "Give it a rest, Lauren. Im a surgeon. Do you really think you can lie about a diagnosis to me?"

I turned to my father. "Dad? Do you believe me?"

Katherine shot him a warning look. He looked at his plate and said nothing.

I laughed, the sound wet with tears. I finished the bottle of wine.

Whatever debt I owed them for my life was paid in full tonight. From this moment on, I had no family.

The next day, by the time Michael came home with the actual pathology report hed pulled from the hospital's system, I was already gone.