The Queen Who Chose Herself

I was the one who saved Lucas Thornfield, but he believed it was Serena who was his savior.

He called me vicious and forced me to donate blood to the pretending-to-be-sick Serena again and again.

Having your blood flow into her body is the greatest honor of your pathetic life.

After three years of torment from constant blood draws, I finally signed the "Deep Sea" memory erasure agreement, willing to risk a 50 percent mortality rate just to completely forget him.

But when I was reborn with a completely new identity and stood on the international stage, he knelt before me, begging through tears for my forgiveness.

I sneered and pushed him away. "Mr. Thornfield, you've mistaken me for someone else."

Stella POV

"Miss Winters, this is the 'Deep Sea' memory erasure and identity reconstruction agreement you applied for. The procedure is irreversible, with a mortality rate as high as thirty percent. Once you sign, in seven days, Stella Winters will cease to exist. Please confirm one final time."

In the sterile white therapy room, the doctor pushed a document toward me.

I lowered my eyes and gripped the pen without a moment's hesitation, signing my name at the bottom.

The scratching sound of the pen tearing across paper severed the absurd and pitiful obsession that had consumed the last ten years of my life.

Ten years. I'd finally decided to let myself go, and to let Lucas go.

The entire city knew I was the woman Lucas couldn't shake off.

To marry him, I'd stopped at nothing, even driving away the woman Lucas loved most, Serena Marlowe, forcing her to leave town.

But no one knew that when I was fifteen, it was Lucas who slipped a hand-carved wooden ring onto my finger under a sky full of stars, his face flushed as he said, "Stella, when I grow up, I'll marry you and make you my one and only Mrs. Thornfield."

At eighteen, during that terrible fire, Lucas shielded me from harm. A burning beam struck his head, leaving him blind and robbing him of all his memories.

To save him, I was left with horrifying burn scars covering my back.

But when Lucas woke up in the hospital and regained his sight, the first person he saw was Serena in her white dress, looking delicate and pitiful.

Serena took credit for saving him.

From that moment on, Lucas's memory held no trace of me. Only the image of Serena, the one who "risked her life to save him."

For the past seven years, I'd exhausted every method trying to awaken his memories, only to be met with escalating disgust and torment.

Especially three years ago, when Serena was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder requiring long-term transfusions.

And I happened to have the same rare blood type that matched hers perfectly.

Lucas married me not out of compromise, but to turn me into Serena's personal walking blood bank.

"Stella, as long as Serena needs it, draining you dry is what you owe her!"

Lucas had been saying this for three years.

I gathered my thoughts and handed the agreement to the doctor, then stood and left.

Walking out of the discreet private clinic, the autumn wind whipped fallen leaves against my face. The cold cut through to my bones.

I'd barely gotten into my car when my phone screen lit up.

The name "Lucas" flashed on the display.

I pressed accept. A voice as cold as ice came through the speaker.

"Get to Grace Memorial Hospital within half an hour. Serena fainted from anemia."

No greeting. No pleasantries. Just a cold command.

In the past, I would have felt heartbroken, made excuses about not feeling well myself, tried to beg for even the smallest scrap of his pity.

But today, I simply replied with one word.

"Okay."

Lucas seemed to pause on the other end.

After all, every previous time I'd been summoned for a blood draw, I'd cried and made a scene, forcing him to come back to the villa and have dinner with me before I'd agree.

"Don't try any tricks."

Lucas snorted coldly and hung up.

Half an hour later, I arrived at the VIP ward on schedule.

The hospital room door was half-open. Lucas sat by the bed, carefully peeling an apple for Serena.

His usually hard jawline softened impossibly when facing her.

"Lucas, I'm fine. Don't keep making things difficult for Stella. She's your wife, after all. Constantly drawing her blood makes me feel terrible..."

Serena leaned against the pillow, her voice so weak it seemed a breeze could blow it away.

"Wife? What kind of wife is she?"

Lucas's voice turned cold instantly, dripping with undisguised sarcasm.

"She's just a woman who'll do anything to climb the social ladder. Having her blood flow into your body is her honor."

I stood outside the door listening to these words. My heart felt like an invisible hand was squeezing it tight, but in the next second, it went completely numb.

I pushed open the door and walked in.

"Go ahead and draw it."

I proactively rolled up my sleeve, exposing an arm covered in needle marks, and spoke to the nurse beside me.

Lucas looked up, his sharp gaze fixed on me.

Today I hadn't become hysterical, hadn't questioned him with red-rimmed eyes, hadn't even glanced at him once.

"400cc."

Lucas spoke coldly.

The nurse gasped.

"Mr. Thornfield, Miss Winters just donated 300cc last week. If we draw another 400cc today, her body won't be able to handle it. She might go into shock..."

"I said 400cc."

Lucas's tone was freezing, brooking no argument.

I didn't object. I simply watched quietly as the thick needle pierced my vein.

Dark red blood flowed through the tube. I felt the warmth draining from my body bit by bit, my vision beginning to darken.

But I didn't cry out in pain. I didn't even furrow my brow.

Seven days.

Just seven more days, and I could be completely free.

What was this little bit of pain?

Stella POV

Blood drained from my body drop by drop. My heartbeat grew slower and slower, my breathing increasingly difficult.

When the 400cc blood bag was finally full, I couldn't hold on any longer. My body went limp and I slid from the chair.

Instead of hitting the cold, hard floor I expected, a strong arm suddenly grabbed my wrist and yanked me back.

Lucas looked down at me from above, his brows knitted together.

"Done with your performance?"

He roughly released my hand.

"Drawing a little blood and you play dead. Stella, your acting is getting more and more pathetic."

I collapsed back into the chair, gasping for air in great gulps. Cold sweat soaked through my clothes, stinging the hideous burn scars on my back.

I had no strength to argue. I just pressed a cotton swab against the needle mark, braced myself against the wall, and shakily stood up.

"Since the draw is finished, may I leave?"

Lucas grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at him directly.

"Leave? Did I say you could leave?"

Lucas sneered.

"Next month's 'StarGlow' International Jewelry Design Competition. Serena is entering. Hand over that 'Tears of the Deep' design draft of yours."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Tears of the Deep" was a work I'd poured an entire year of my heart and soul into, created to commemorate my late mother. It was my masterpiece, the work I'd prepared for my comeback on the international stage as a genius jewelry designer.

"That's my work."

I bit my lip, my voice trembling.

"Yours?"

Lucas acted as if he'd heard the biggest joke in the world.

"Stella, have you forgotten? Everything you have now, the Lu family gave you! Serena's hands were injured saving me. She can't hold a brush steadily anymore. As the culprit, what's wrong with drawing a few designs for her?"

"I didn't set that fire! I was the one who saved you!"

I'd been repeating this explanation for seven years, but every single time, he crushed it beneath his feet.

"Shut up!"

Lucas suddenly tightened his grip, his eyes terrifyingly dark.

"You still dare bring up what happened back then? If you hadn't been jealous of Serena and deliberately locked her in the equipment room, how would the fire have started? Serena dragged me out of the flames and suffered severe burns on both hands. She can never complete the designs she loved again. And you? You hid outside without a scratch!"

Without a scratch?

I closed my eyes in despair.

My back still bore the permanent brand that fire had given me. Every time it rained, the pain was unbearable.

But he didn't believe me. He only believed in the insignificant burn on the back of Serena's hand.

"Lucas, don't push Stella anymore..."

Serena in the hospital bed started crying right on cue, tears falling in big drops.

"It's all my fault. I shouldn't dream of standing on the design competition stage anymore. I'll go tell the organizers I'm withdrawing right now..."

"Serena, don't cry."

Lucas immediately released me, turned, and walked to the bedside, gently wiping away Serena's tears.

"I told you, the glory that belongs to you. I'll definitely help you get it back."

He turned his head to look at me again, his eyes restored to absolute coldness.

"Tomorrow morning, I want to see the final draft of 'Tears of the Deep' in Serena's email. Otherwise, I can't guarantee that cemetery plot your mother has in the south district won't become a commercial zone tomorrow."

My entire body trembled. I looked at this man I'd loved for ten years in disbelief.

He was actually threatening me with my mother's resting place!

My heart felt like it was being sliced back and forth with a dull knife. The pain reached such extremes that it became numb.

I looked at Lucas and smiled faintly.

"Fine. I'll give it to you."

Lucas froze, about to say something more when my figure had already disappeared from the doorway.

I didn't look back.

Even when I heard him mutter under his breath, "Just a vicious woman. How could I possibly care?"

I ignored it.

After all, this would all be over soon.

Stella POV

Three days later, at the "StarGlow" International Jewelry Design Competition awards gala.

As Lucas's wife in name, I was forced to attend.

I wore a high-necked, long-sleeved black evening gown that covered me completely. I wore this dress solely to hide the scars on my back and the dense needle marks covering my arms.

I sat quietly in a corner, watching Serena shine brilliantly at center stage.

Serena wore a haute couture white dress with my heart and soul around her neck. "Tears of the Deep."

It was a necklace with a rare blue diamond as the centerpiece, surrounded by smaller diamonds, like the desperate tears of a mermaid in the deep sea. Breathtakingly beautiful.

"The winner of this year's 'StarGlow' Competition Gold Award is... Miss Serena! Her piece 'Tears of the Deep,' with its unique emotional expression and stunning cutting technique, has conquered all the judges!"

The spotlight fell on Serena. She covered her mouth excitedly, her eyes filled with tears as she looked down at Lucas in the audience.

Lucas sat in the front row VIP section, gazing tenderly at the woman on stage, leading the applause.

Thunderous applause filled the room. I lifted the wine glass in front of me and drained it in one gulp.

The bitter liquid slid down my throat into my stomach, but it couldn't match even one ten-thousandth of the bitterness in my heart.

After the awards ceremony came the media interview segment.

Serena held Lucas's arm, radiant and dazzling, accepting the media's flashbulb baptism.

"Miss Marlowe, we heard that due to your hand injury, you haven't produced any new work in recent years. This 'Tears of the Deep' marks your return to the peak. What was your inspiration?"

Serena glanced shyly at Lucas beside her and said softly, "This piece was designed to thank someone who has silently protected me and given me light in my darkest moments. It represents undying love."

The crowd erupted in envious exclamations.

Just then, a sharp voice suddenly cut in.

"Mrs. Thornfield, we heard you were also a somewhat famous talented designer in the industry. Why haven't you published a single piece in the three years since you married Mr. Thornfield? Has your talent run out, so you can only coast on the Thornfield family's influence?"

All the cameras instantly turned toward me in the corner.

Malicious, mocking, and gleeful gazes pierced me like blades, pinning me in place.

I lifted my head and looked at Lucas.

I wanted to see what my husband would do at this moment.

Lucas's brow furrowed almost imperceptibly, then he spoke coldly.

"Stella indeed has no design talent. The only thing she can do well is hold the empty title of Mrs. Thornfield. Everyone, there's no need to waste time on a worthless person. Tonight's star is Serena."

Something in my head seemed to explode completely.

A worthless person.

My ten years of youth, the talent I took such pride in, the half-life I'd destroyed to save him. In his eyes, it was all dismissed as "worthless."

Suppressed laughter rippled through the crowd.

"So she's just useless. I thought she was something special."

"And she dares occupy the position of Mrs. Thornfield. How shameless. Mr. Thornfield clearly loves Miss Marlowe."

I didn't cry. I didn't even feel angry.

I simply stood up slowly and, under everyone's contemptuous gazes, lifted my dress and walked step by step toward the banquet hall exit.

My spine remained perfectly straight.

Lucas caught my wrist at a hallway corner and slammed me hard against the wall.

"Why are you running? Embarrassed?"

Lucas ground his teeth as he stared at my face.

"Wasn't I telling the truth? Besides scheming to force me to marry you, what else can you do?"

I didn't struggle. I just quietly looked at this face so close to mine.

The face I'd once loved to the bone.

"Lucas."

"You're right. I really am a worthless piece of trash."

Lucas suddenly leaned down, rough and venting his anger through force.

"Stella, what kind of playing-hard-to-get game are you trying now?!"

The taste of blood spread between our lips and teeth.

I didn't respond. I didn't resist.

Just then, a shocked cry came from the end of the hallway.

"Lucas..."

Serena stood in the distance, her eyes red, looking at us tangled together as if she might collapse at any moment.

Stella POV

Lucas snapped out of it as if waking from a dream and shoved me away violently. The force was so great that my back slammed hard against the solid wall.

A dull pain radiated from the old wounds on my spine. I groaned.

"Serena, let me explain..."

Lucas strode toward Serena, his tone full of panic. Completely different from the roughness he'd just shown me.

Serena covered her face, tears falling like broken pearls.

"Lucas, I know Stella is your wife and I'm just an outsider... I shouldn't be disturbing you two. I'll leave, I'll leave right now..."

She turned to run but "accidentally" crashed into a giant decorative champagne tower nearby.

The towering champagne tower collapsed with a crash, countless glass shards flying everywhere.

"Ah!"

Serena screamed and fell among the broken glass covering the floor. A gash immediately opened on her fair calf.

"Serena!"

Lucas's eyes nearly split with rage as he rushed over and carefully gathered Serena into his arms.

Serena leaned against him, trembling, but her gaze traveled over Lucas's shoulder to me.

"Stella, I know you hate me for taking your design draft, but why did you push me? My hands are already ruined. Do you want to destroy my legs too?"

I stood three meters away from the champagne tower.

I watched Serena's performance without even the energy to sneer.

"I didn't push her."

I stated the fact flatly.

"You still dare lie!"

Lucas whipped his head around, his eyes blood-red.

"Stella, you're absolutely vicious! If anything happens to Serena, you'll pay with your life!"

He stood up holding Serena. As he passed me, his eyes were as cold as if looking at a corpse.

"Get out of my way!"

He shoved me aside roughly.

I was already weak from the blood draw. His anger-filled shove made me lose my balance completely. I fell straight toward the pile of sharp glass shards on the floor.

The sound of a blade cutting through flesh was especially clear in the silent hallway.

My right hand pressed down hard on a large, razor-sharp piece of glass.

Blood gushed out instantly, staining the floor red.

Piercing pain shot from my palm, but I didn't make a sound.

I just bit my lip hard and watched Lucas carry Serena away, disappearing around the corner without looking back once.

He didn't even glance back at me.

Didn't see my right hand covered in blood.

I sat collapsed in a pool of blood, looking at my right hand pierced through by glass, and suddenly started laughing softly.

I laughed and laughed, and then tears fell.

This hand had once drawn countless designs that amazed the world.

This hand had once gripped Lucas tightly in the flames, refusing to let go.

This hand had once prepared countless meals for him with such hope.

Now it was ruined.

Good.

I didn't need it anymore anyway.

Hospital emergency room.

The doctor looked at my mangled right hand, his brow furrowed deeply.

"Miss Winters, the glass shard severed the main nerves and tendons in your right hand. Although surgery can stitch it up, your right hand will no longer be able to perform fine motor movements. Which means... you may never be able to hold a brush again."

I leaned against the hospital bed and nodded.

"It's fine. Just stitch it up."

I didn't need a brush anymore.

Four days until the "Deep Sea" agreement took effect.

The suturing surgery was done without anesthesia because I'm allergic to standard anesthetics.

I just watched as needle and thread passed through my flesh, enduring all the agony.

Did it hurt?

Compared to the pain in my heart, this was nothing.

After bandaging the wound, I refused hospitalization and walked out of the hospital alone.

The late-night streets were bitterly cold.

I dragged my exhausted, broken body back to that villa called "home."

I pushed open the door. The living room was pitch black.

Lucas hadn't come home.

I didn't turn on the lights. Using the moonlight, I went upstairs to the bedroom.

I pulled out a black suitcase and started packing.

Actually, I didn't have much to take. Everything in this villa was stained with Lucas's presence, suffocating me.

I opened a drawer. At the very back sat an old wooden box.

I opened it. Inside lay a crudely carved wooden ring.

That was from when I was fifteen, when Lucas carved it bit by bit with a pocketknife and placed it on my finger.

"Stella, when I grow up, I'll marry you and make you my one and only Mrs. Thornfield."

The young man's vow still echoed in my ears, but now it had become the most vicious curse.

I picked up the wooden ring with my undamaged left hand, walked to the balcony, and threw it into the trash bin below without hesitation.

Along with my ten years of love, humble as dust, I threw it all away.

Stella POV

The next morning, Lucas pushed open the villa door carrying a bone-chilling coldness.

Serena had only suffered a minor superficial injury, but he'd still watched over her at the hospital all night.

As he walked into the living room, he saw a maid carrying a black trash bag toward the exit.

"Stop. What are you holding?"

Lucas asked coldly.

The maid jumped in fright and quickly answered.

"Sir, these are things the madam asked me to throw away this morning. They're all old things..."

Lucas's gaze sharpened, falling on the half-open trash bag.

Inside was a pile of cut-up clothes. All the cheap items he'd casually bought me over the years, which I'd treasured and worn for three years.

And in the middle of those fabric scraps, a familiar wooden ring appeared in Lucas's line of sight.

Lucas snatched the trash bag, pulling out the wooden ring.

The ring had some age to it now. The edges had been worn smooth, and the inside still faintly bore the initials of our surnames.

"Where is Stella?!"

Lucas looked up sharply, his eyes bloodshot as he roared at the maid.

"M-Madam is in the glass greenhouse in the back garden..."

The maid trembled all over in fear.

Lucas clenched the wooden ring and strode toward the back garden with long, determined steps.

On this early autumn morning, a cold drizzle began to fall.

The glass greenhouse had no heating. It was as cold as an icebox.

I wore thin pajamas, using my left hand to awkwardly pull up withered rose bushes by their roots one by one, throwing them into a nearby trash can.

These roses. I'd planted them by hand when I first married Lucas.

I'd naively believed that if I tended them with care, they'd bloom brilliantly someday, just as I'd believed that if I loved him enough, he'd look at me eventually.

Now the flowers were dead. So was my heart.

"What are you doing?!"

An angry roar suddenly came from behind me.

My movements paused. I didn't turn around, just said flatly, "Clearing out trash."

"Clearing out trash?"

Lucas rushed forward in a few strides, grabbed my shoulder, and forcibly turned me around.

"Stella, what kind of madness are you having? What's the deal with this ring? Where did you steal it from?!"

He shoved the wooden ring right in my face, his expression fierce as if he wanted to devour me.

I looked at the wooden ring, then at Lucas's enraged face, and suddenly felt it was unbearably ironic.

He'd forgotten me, forgotten everything, yet only this ring triggered a reaction in him.

Too bad. Too late.

"Stole it?"

I laughed softly.

"If Mr. Thornfield says I stole it, then I stole it. It's just a worthless piece of junk anyway. Throwing it away is no big deal."

"You!"

Lucas grabbed my throat and pinned me against the cold glass wall.

"Stella, do you think playing these tricks will get my attention? I haven't settled the score with you for pushing Serena last night! Now, go to the hospital immediately and get on your knees to apologize to Serena! Otherwise, I'll make you wish you were dead!"

I was forced to tilt my head back, breathing becoming difficult.

My right hand hung limply at my side, the thick bandage already soiled with rainwater and mud, faintly seeping bright red blood.

But Lucas didn't notice at all.

"I... won't... go..."

I forced these words through gritted teeth.

"Good! Very good!"

Lucas was so angry he laughed, suddenly releasing his grip.

I lost support and fell sitting in the cold mud, coughing violently.

"Since you love staying here so much, then stay here! Without my permission, no one is allowed to let her out! And no one is allowed to bring her food!"

Lucas turned and strode away.

With a loud "bang," the greenhouse door was locked tight from the outside.

The cold autumn rain pounded against the glass, making suffocating sounds.

I curled up in a corner, hugging my shivering body tight.

Three days until the "Deep Sea" agreement took effect.

Night fell. The autumn rain turned to freezing sleet mixed with ice.

The temperature in the glass greenhouse dropped to freezing.

I curled up on the muddy ground in the corner, my whole body burning, my consciousness beginning to blur.

Excruciating pain came from my right hand wound, accompanied by the bone-deep aching brought on by high fever, as if countless ants were gnawing at my flesh and blood.

"Lucas..."

I mumbled that name carved into my bones in my feverish delirium.

In my haze, I seemed to return to the fire scene when I was eighteen.

Scorching flames devoured everything. The moment the beam fell, the young man held me tightly beneath him.

"Stella, don't be afraid... I'll protect you..."

The young man's voice was gentle and firm, but in the next second, it transformed into Lucas's ice-cold mockery.

"What do you think you are? How dare you compare yourself to Serena?"

"Draining you of your blood is what you owe her!"

In the interweaving of ice and fire, I fell completely into darkness.

Lucas POV

The next morning, I sat in the dining room, looking at the lavish breakfast spread before me without any appetite.

I irritably tugged at my tie, unable to stop myself from glancing toward the back garden.

A full day and night, and that woman hadn't uttered a single word begging for mercy.

"Sir, she's been in the greenhouse all night. This morning the temperature dropped below freezing. She might..."

The maid approached with coffee, speaking fearfully.

"She won't die!"

I cut her off coldly and stood up.

"A woman like her who'll do anything to achieve her goals. Her life force is tough as nails!"

Despite my words, my feet moved uncontrollably toward the back garden.

The moment the greenhouse door opened, a bone-chilling cold hit me in the face.

I immediately saw Stella collapsed on the muddy ground.

She wore thin pajamas, covered in mud, lifeless as a discarded rag doll.

Most striking was her right hand hanging at her side.

The thick bandage had been completely soaked through with blood, turning a shocking dark red.

"Stella!"

My heart seized violently. An unprecedented panic grabbed hold of me instantly.

I rushed over and gathered her into my arms. Where I touched, everything was scalding hot.

"Stella! Wake up! Stop playing dead!"

My voice trembled. I scooped her up horizontally and ran toward the garage like a madman.

Grace Memorial Hospital, outside the emergency room.

I slumped against the wall, my hands covered in Stella's blood.

The doctor came out, his expression grave.

"Mr. Thornfield, Miss Winters's high fever has triggered severe pulmonary infection. Additionally, her severed hand nerves weren't treated promptly. The wound is seriously inflamed. Worse still, she's chronically depleted from extensive blood loss. Her body is extremely weak. Her life is in danger at any moment."

"What did you say? Severed hand nerves?"

I grabbed the doctor's collar violently.

"How could her hand be severed?!"

"Miss Winters was brought to emergency the night before last with her right hand severely cut by glass. All the nerves and tendons were completely severed. In the future, she... she'll never be able to hold a brush again."

I stood thunderstruck, frozen in place.

The night before last... glass injury...

When the champagne tower collapsed!

I'd only cared about picking up the lightly injured Serena, but I'd shoved Stella hard toward that pile of broken glass!

She's a genius designer! Her hands are her life!

Yet she hadn't made a sound, letting me lock her in that freezing greenhouse to die!

I released the doctor and staggered back two steps. My heart felt like an invisible hand was violently tearing it apart. The pain made it impossible to breathe.

Just then, my phone rang urgently.

It was Serena's attending physician.

"Mr. Thornfield, this is bad! Miss Marlowe's condition has suddenly deteriorated, triggering acute bone marrow failure! We must perform a bone marrow transplant immediately, or she won't make it through tonight!"

My grip on the phone tightened suddenly.

"Are there matches in the bone marrow bank?"

"No! Currently, the only person who's a complete match for Miss Marlowe is... is your wife, Stella."

Silence filled the corridor.

I turned my head and looked at the tightly shut emergency room doors.

Inside lay the wife whose right hand I'd just learned I'd personally destroyed, hovering between life and death.

On the other end of the phone was the "lifesaver" I'd sworn to protect with my entire life.

What should I do?

What on earth should I do?