Is It My Turn Now"

The day I arrived on campus for my freshman year, I was practically buzzing with excitement. I clutched my acceptance lettersame major as Nateand planned the perfect surprise.

I found him leaning against a brick pillar outside the womens dorms, phone pressed to his ear, his voice a low, casual murmur.

Sera has severe anxiety. She only talks to me, she cant handle being alone. You have to find a way to get her into my program, he was saying, his tone smooth and commanding.

He paused, then added, And Ava yeah, switch her to the International Relations department. Her tempers bad and she gets jealous. I dont want her stressing Sera out.

He glanced up at the dorm windows, a soft, almost tender smile gracing his lips.

I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, but when the topic shifted back to me, his brow furrowed in annoyance. Just forget about her. Shes been stuck to me for years. I need some damn breathing room.

So that was it. More than a decade of my life, a constant presence by his side, had been reduced to a burden.

This time, I didn't scream or cry. I just walked up to him and calmly ended it.

A second after I said the words, a friend request popped up on my phone. It was from the Student Body President. The message read: So is it my turn now?

Break up?

The impatience in Nates eyes was so thick I could practically feel it. Seriously? Just because I got here a day early and didnt text you?

Yes, I said, my voice steady.

Fine, he sighed, the sound heavy with theatrical exasperation, as if I were the most unreasonable person on the planet. When youve cooled off, Ill win you back.

But even as he spoke, his gaze drifted past me, locking onto a girl who had just stepped out of the dorm.

Nate, I mean it. Were really

My words trailed off. The lazy, arrogant slouch he always had was gone. He stood up straight, instinctively smoothing the wrinkles on his shirt.

Sera! You all settled in? Need help with anything else? His voice was suddenly bright and eager, completely drowning out the rest of my sentence.

Seraphina, or Sera, just nodded. She didnt have to say a word. The way she stood there, biting her lip and staring up at him, was more powerful than anything I could have ever screamed.

I I need you to introduce me to everyone at orientation There are so many people Im scared she whispered, tugging on his sleeve and leaning in so close her lips brushed his ear.

Of course, he agreed instantly. It was only then that he turned and seemed to remember I was still standing there. He cleared his throat, offering a half-hearted olive branch. Ava, after I help Sera out, Ill give you a tour of the campus, okay?

He didnt even realize it. From the moment she appeared, I had become an afterthought.

Dont bother, I said, my voice dripping with ice. You should stick close to your helpless little baby. Im afraid she might have a meltdown and run home on her first day without you.

Ava, what the hell is your problem? You know her situation! he snapped, his brows crashing together. It was the first time hed ever used my full name, and it was to defend someone else.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips, but it was followed by a sharp sting in my nose.

Nate and I had been childhood sweethearts. It was the kind of storybook romance everyone envied. Then, in our senior year of high school, a transfer student arrived. Seraphina. The whole school buzzed with whispers about the new girl with crippling social anxiety.

Our boring, test-filled senior year suddenly had a new drama. Nate, ever the hero, decided he needed to be the one to bring her out of her shell. I thought it was pathetic, but he became obsessed.

Soon enough, he was the only person at school she would speak to. He took it upon himself to be her guardian. He tutored her, took her on the Ferris wheel at the state fair, and bought her cupcakes from the bakery we used to love. He re-created every single one of our special moments, but with her.

We fought. We screamed. We broke up a thousand times, and every single time, he would come back, head hung low, begging for forgiveness. But he never stopped taking care of Sera; he just got better at hiding it.

When it was time to apply for college, I couldnt let go of a decades worth of history. I chose the same university, the same niche major, just to be with him. Seras grades werent good enough, so she was waitlisted and then shunted into a less competitive program. I thought college would be a clean slate.

But now I saw the truth. He wasn't hiding his obsession anymore. He was flaunting it.

Oh, I know her situation, I retorted, my voice sharp. Ones a basket case and the others a fool. Youre both sick in the head. You two deserve each other. Do the world a favor and stay off the market.

I shoved down the flicker of pain and watched with grim satisfaction as his face darkened and Seras eyes filled with tears. Then, I turned on my heel and walked away.

I checked my new schedule. International Relations. It seemed like a random, difficult pivot, but it was a perfect fit. My mother was a diplomat, my father a top-tier translator. I had always planned on following in their footsteps, but Id thrown it all away for Nate, choosing a major I hated just to be near him.

In a way, hed put me back on the right track.

And from now on, every step I took would be loud, brilliant, and on my own terms. I wouldnt be his shadow anymore. I would become someone he could only ever look up to.

I wanted a clean break, but the official transfer paperwork was still being processed. That meant I was stuck attending the freshman orientation for my old major.

I sat in the back of the lecture hall and watched as Nate led Sera onto the stage by the hand. He gave a brief, charming introduction for himself, then tightened his grip on her hand as she pressed herself against his side.

This is Seraphina, he announced to the crowded room. Shell be transferring into our program soon. Shes a little shy, so Ill be speaking for her.

The hall erupted in a chorus of whistles and suggestive catcalls.

Damn, of course the hot guys show up with girlfriends already.

They look so perfect together! They must be totally in love.

They did look perfect. The girl, blushing and hiding in the boys arms. The boy, head held high, looking proud and possessive. From a distance, it was a fairytale.

Only I saw the truth. I watched, my blood turning to ice, as Nate let the assumption hang in the air, a silent confirmation.

So this is what it felt like to have him publicly claim someone.

A memory flashed in my mind. The first week of high school, before we were officially a couple. Someone had put a love letter in my locker. Nate found it, read it aloud in front of the whole class, and then scoffed, Avas been looking at this face for over a decade. If you want to compete, youll have to do better than me.

He was handsome, confident, and radiant. I used to love that about him. Now, the sight of his arrogance was blinding.

I couldnt take it anymore. I stood up and slipped out the back door.

Id only made it a few feet down the hall when a hand clamped around my wrist, yanking me back.

Nate stood there, panting, a flicker of panic in his eyes. Ava, let me explain. I was put on the spot. If I had denied it, Sera would have been completely humiliated. You know how sensitive she is.

I stared at the red marks already forming on my skin where his fingers dug in. A humorless smile touched my lips. You dont have to explain anything to me. Were broken up, remember?

He visibly relaxed, a cocky grin spreading across his face as he slung an arm around my shoulders, his tone shifting to a playful, condescending purr. Alright, alright. Were broken up, if you say so. Well get back together after youve had your little fit. Youre so cute when youre jealous.

He flicked my nose with his finger, a gesture so familiar and practiced it made me want to gag. We had been together for so long he genuinely believed I was incapable of leaving him.

Just as I was about to shove him off, his expression turned serious. Ava, listen. Theres a major national debate tournament coming up. Its a huge deal for anyone wanting to get into a top-tier grad school. I know you can easily get one of the universitys sponsorship slots. He paused, his eyes pleading. Can you can you give your spot to Sera?

I stared at him, my ears ringing with disbelief. A low growl rumbled in my chest. On what grounds? Nate, do you seriously think that even if I handed her my spot, Seraphina, a girl who cant even introduce herself to a room full of people, could actually win?

His voice dropped, laced with a pleading tone I had never heard before. Thats why I want you to compete, but put her name on the registration. Her grades arent as good as yours. If she wants to get into the same graduate program as me, this is her only shot

I couldnt stop the manic, incredulous laugh that bubbled up from my throat. I laughed until my eyes burned and tears started to stream down my face.

It was the first day of college, and he had already mapped out his entire future with her, right down to her graduate school applications.

And what about me? The question was a raw whisper. Did you ever think about me?

Nate flinched. He looked away, his jaw tight. Its different. You have your familys connections. Youll be successful no matter what you do. Sera she only has me.

He looked back at me, his eyes wide with earnest expectation. Ava, Ive always known you were a kind person. Youll help her, wont you?

I met his hopeful gaze and smiled, a sharp, cruel thing.

Of course. As long as she comes and begs me herself. If she impresses me, maybe Ill throw her a bone.

Youre being completely unreasonable, Nate spat, before storming off.

I stood there for a long time, the disappointment in his eyes feeling like a physical wound. Finally, I turned and walked in the opposite direction.

From inseparable companions to bitter strangers. It had only taken a year.

I went to class alone, I ate in the dining hall alone. And everywhere I looked, I saw Nate doting on Sera. He walked her to class, saved her a seat at lunch, and whispered secrets to her as they strolled across the quad. We were technically in the same orientation group, but we were locked in a cold war.

Thankfully, my transfer paperwork finally went through. I was almost free.

On my way to the department office to pick up my final documents, I heard voices coming from behind the decorative pond near the administration building.

Behind a large rock formation, a group of tall, muscular guys from the basketball team had cornered Sera.

Hey, are you for real with that whole mute act? one of them sneered. Is Nate into broken girls or something? Thats just gross.

Another one stepped closer, his voice menacing. Tell us what that prick is afraid of. Spill, and well let you go.

I recognized the jerseys. My roommate had told me that Nate had gotten into a nasty argument with some guys during a pickup basketball game a few days ago. It looked like they were holding a grudge.

Sera looked around frantically, her eyes wide with terror. When she spotted me, she rushed forward and grabbed my sleeve.

I flinched, instinctively shaking her hand off.

I hadnt pushed her hard, but she stumbled backward with theatrical grace and fell straight into the shallow pond.

There were two loud splashes.

One was Sera.

The other was Nate.

I stood frozen as he vaulted over a bench and dove into the water without a second of hesitation. He scooped her into his arms, his face a mask of fury as he glared at me.

Ava, what the hell is wrong with you? Youve become a monster! Sera doesnt know anything about our problems! If you have an issue, take it up with me. Dont you dare bully her!

He automatically cast me as the villain. The injustice of it all sent a surge of hot rage through me.

Get your facts straight, Nate, I shot back. I have everything I need. Why would I waste my time bullying a mute? Whats in it for me?

I glanced around. The basketball players had vanished the second Nate appeared.

I took a breath and tried to explain. The people hassling her were the guys you pissed off on the court. If you dont believe me, ask her yourself!

Sera coughed weakly, her pale face looking even more fragile and soaked. Her eyes, rimmed with red, were heartbreakingly pitiful. She didnt say a word. She just cried, looking at me with pure terror.

I almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of it.

But Nate saw it as proof. He stepped in front of her, shielding her from me. Ava, apologize to Sera. Now.

My vision narrowed. I barely recognized the cold, harsh man standing in front of me.

Why should I apologize? It wasnt my fault. This girl is a manipulative liar who frames people

CRACK.

The slap sent my head snapping to the side. The sting on my cheek was nothing compared to the shock. Before the pain even fully registered, my own hand flew up, and I struck him back with every ounce of strength I had.

My palm throbbed. I stared at Nates stunned, silent face, a red handprint blooming on his cheek. My heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest. Just when I thought I couldnt be more disappointed, he found a new way to shatter me.

Nate, weve known each other our entire lives. Youve always protected me. And now you hit me? For her? My voice cracked. Youre the one whos lost his damn mind!

I turned my glare on Sera. And you. Keep up your act. Sooner or later, youll choke on your own lies. You pathetic, manipulative, fraud.

I spat the words out, one by one. I couldnt stand to be there a second longer. I turned and ran.

Behind me, Nate just stood there, staring at his own trembling hand. The hand that had just struck the person he once claimed to love more than anyone in the world.

After a few days of slathering on concealer, the handprint on my face faded.

The one on my heart was permanent.

I started packing my things to move to my new dorm across campus. As I was wrestling a suitcase taller than I was down the stairs, I ran right into Nate.

He was carrying both of Seras suitcases, one in each hand, yet he was still managing to chat and laugh with her, doting on her every move. We met on the landinghim, pristine and smiling; me, sweaty and struggling.

It used to be me and him, a perfect team.

Ava? Youre moving dorms?

I didnt bother to look at the awkward guilt in his eyes. Yep, I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Someone was kind enough to file my major transfer paperwork for me, so Ive got to make room for the new student.

His gaze darted away, and his voice was raspy when he finally spoke. Look, Ava maybe International Relations is a better fit for you anyway. And even if were in different programs, I can still come see you.

I closed my eyes, too exhausted to argue anymore.

But as I turned to leave, he dropped Seras bags and ran after me, his voice tight with panic.

That day I didnt mean to

Whatever apology he was about to offer was cut short by a sharp cry from Sera. He immediately fell silent and rushed back to her side.

Nate, its all wet Everything is ruined Sera sobbed, pointing at one of her suitcases, which was now soaked, a dark stain spreading across the expensive fabric.

Who did this?! Nate roared, his temper flaring.

I had been watching the scene with detached amusement, but my blood ran cold when Sera turned and dropped to her knees directly in front of me.

Im sorry she stammered, her voice a pathetic whimper. I I know Im not good enough for Nate I can stay in my old major

Her small voice was laced with a delicate, wounded tremor. Please I worked so hard to get into college I just want to study

She never directly accused me, but she didnt have to. The implication was clear. In that moment, I finally understood. She wasn't an innocent victim. She was a master puppeteer.

And her favorite puppet was still completely under her spell.

Ava, how far are you going to take this?! Nates voice was a low, dangerous growl. First you push her into the pond, now you destroy her belongings! Whats next? Are you going to get her expelled so you can have me all to yourself?

His voice rose to a furious shout. God, right now, I honestly regret ever meeting you.

The words struck me like a physical blow, but my expression remained like stone.

Think whatever you want.

That was the spark that lit the fuse. Nate exploded.

He stormed over to my luggage and kicked it, sending it tumbling down the stairs. Then he grabbed an empty water jug from a nearby trash can, filled it at a water fountain, and dumped it all over my scattered belongings. He stomped on my clothes, my books, my life.

He crushed a small, leather-bound journal my grandfather had given me. It was the last birthday present he ever gave me before he died. He had filled it with photos and notes, documenting every important moment of my life, from my first steps to my high school graduation. On the last page, hed written his final words to me.

I treasured it. I kept it pristine. It didnt have a single folded corner.

Now, it was a soggy, mangled mess on the dirty floor, the ink bleeding, the pages ripped and ground into the tile by Nates shoe.

NATE, STOP! I screamed, throwing myself forward, trying to salvage it. But he pressed his foot down harder, refusing to move.

See, Ava? Now you know what it feels like to have something you love destroyed! he hissed.

Having vented his rage, his voice softened, as if he were scolding a misbehaving child. He reached out a hand to help me up, but flinched back as a tear from my cheek dripped onto his skin, hot as acid.

Ava, you

I looked up, my face streaked with tears, my eyes shot with blood. That was the last thing my grandpa ever gave me Nate, I hate you.

My voice was a raw, broken whisper. I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone in my life.

Panic finally washed over his face. He scrambled backward, his foot slipping off the ruined journal.

He stammered a quick, meaningless Im sorry, then turned, grabbed Sera, and practically fled the scene.

His parting words echoed down the empty stairwell. Ava, when youve calmed down, Ill come back and we can talk.

I knelt on the floor, gently picking up the tattered, unrecognizable pieces of paper. I wiped my tears away.

There was nothing left to talk about.

He had just personally, brutally, and permanently destroyed everything we ever were.

I pulled out my phone. The friend request from the Student Body President was still there, sent three days ago.

I pressed Confirm.