When His First Love Returns

On our fifth anniversary, I found an old phone in my husband Ethan Lloyd's safe.

The password was his first love's birthday.

Inside were records of all their sweet moments together.

Yet in his current photo gallery, there wasn't a single picture of me.

Lily, is it fun snooping through other people's privacy?

I turned to see Ethan standing in the doorway. I didn't yell or make a scene.

I simply said calmly, "Let's get a divorce."

Right in front of me, Ethan factory reset the phone, his expression utterly indifferent.

"There. Happy now?" he asked. "Still want that divorce?"

I nodded seriously. "Yes."

"Enough. Stop making a scene."

Ethan frowned, clearly impatient.

"Be good. Once the project wraps up at the end of the year, I'll make time to take you skiing in Hokkaido, okay?"

When I didn't respond for a long while, Ethan's lips curved into his usual careless smile as he tapped my forehead with his fingertip.

"I'm not lying this time. I mean it."

I almost wanted to laugh.

"Not lying this time."

So he knew he'd lied to me countless times before.

He'd promised that Hokkaido ski trip years ago, postponing it year after year.

For our usual movie dates, I was always the one waiting alone at the theater entrance until showtime.

When he said he'd pick me up, I'd stand there soaked by the rain, never seeing his car.

Ethan always broke his promises to me.

So now, saying this like it was some kind of favor, some reward.

"No need," I said, taking a deep breath before repeating firmly, "Ethan, I want a divorce."

This time, the man's expression turned cold, his patience completely exhausted.

"Lily, you're being completely unreasonable."

"Go to Hokkaido or don't---I've already given you the chance."

"Don't come crying to me later about how I didn't keep my word."

With that, he grabbed his coat from the sofa and turned to leave.

He didn't even touch the dinner I'd carefully prepared to his taste.

I remained silent too.

For the first time, I didn't try to make him stay, not even for one more minute.

Ethan paused at the door, glancing back at me.

I had already sat down and begun eating quietly by myself.

He slammed the door.

Like he was venting some fury.

My heart had long since stopped hurting---only a barren wasteland remained.

I used to think that someone as superior as Ethan would never stoop to mundane domesticity.

But it turned out he would cook for the girl he loved.

Just to earn one compliment from her.

The cuts on his hands, the burns from hot water---they all became badges of love.

He'd even said such childish things:

"Cooking for someone you like really does feel so happy."

"I want to cook for Claire for the rest of my life, fatten her up so no one else will try to steal her from me."

Reading those records made me realize for the first time how much of a joke I was.

The next day, I met my lawyer best friend at a caf and asked her to draft a divorce agreement.

"What happened with you two? Why is it this serious this time?"

My friend looked shocked.

She knew better than anyone how much I loved Ethan.

In past arguments, we'd have a cold war at most.

"I'm really tired," I said, looking out at the traffic. "You know what? She came back."

Just that one pronoun, and my friend understood.

Claire Bennett.

Ethan's unforgettable first love.

That name was like a tiny needle lodged in my heart.

Never drawing blood, but causing pain from time to time.

I'd never even seen her in person, yet her existence had affected me for five whole years.

Ethan said personal space was important, but he and Claire had shared a music account.

Ethan didn't like his life being public, but his old social media was filled with traces of that girl.

The art exhibitions he took me to featured Claire's favorite painters.

He complained that shopping with me wasted time, yet he'd once browsed every antique market in the city with her.

Two years of dating, three years of marriage---Ethan had never truly removed her from his heart.

And I was more like companionship during his single period. A habit.

A second choice.

"Alright, leave the divorce agreement to me---I won't let you get the short end of the stick!"

My friend said worriedly, "But Lily, have you really made up your mind?"

"I told you from the start---this man isn't right for you. He hasn't cleared his heart, and being with him means you're just hurting yourself."

"But you had to go and fall for him anyway, wouldn't listen no matter what I said."

I lowered my eyes, stirring the coffee in my cup.

"Some lessons have to be learned the hard way."

The sky was heavy and gray. Rain started pouring without warning.

My friend's husband came to pick her up.

"Didn't I tell you not to come?"

"How could I let you get caught in the rain? Lily, come with us---I'll drop you off first."

I smiled and shook my head. "You two go ahead. I'll sit here a bit longer."

I used to envy their genuine care and consideration for each other.

Why were Ethan and I also married, yet there was always an invisible wall between us?

Why?

The answer was simple. He just didn't love me enough.

Yet I'd deceived myself for so long, thinking he simply didn't know how to love.

When the rain lightened, I got up to leave.

I happened to see a familiar Audi pull over by the curb.

The woman in the passenger seat wore a cream-colored dress, with slightly curled hair and a gentle demeanor.

Ethan got out from the other side, walking this way. It seemed he was passing by and wanted to grab coffee.

Seeing me, he remained expressionless, only raising an eyebrow slightly.

He probably expected me to greet him first, but I just looked down at the rideshare app on my phone.

Maybe I was distracted---I accidentally missed a step and twisted my ankle.

Ethan glanced over again, frowning but saying nothing.

He went into the caf and ignored me.

I endured the pain in my ankle and continued waiting for my ride.

Soon, Ethan came out carrying two takeaway coffees.

"Let's go."

"Isn't this what you wanted---for me to give you a ride?"

His tone carried cold impatience.

"...I didn't."

Ethan didn't bother arguing and simply pulled me into the car.

Then he handed me one of the coffees.

I didn't take it, so he just set it aside.

The entire ride was silent.

The atmosphere in the car was stifling.

Claire suddenly pressed her hand to her forehead.

"Ethan, I think my blood sugar's dropping. Do you have any candy?"

Ethan naturally reached into the glove compartment and handed her a chocolate.

"I've reminded you so many times, but you never learn."

Claire took it with a soft laugh.

"I get too busy and forget. Good thing you're here."

They naturally started chatting about old times---mutual acquaintances, shared experiences.

Their words carried an effortless understanding.

And I sat in the back seat like an out-of-place audience member.

The scenery outside flew backward.

We passed Fairview Park, where the giant Ferris wheel slowly turned.

My first date with Ethan had been here.

Legend said couples who kissed at the top would be happy forever.

I'd stolen a kiss from him then.

He'd stared at me for a long while.

I thought it was one of our few shared sweet memories.

Later I learned that Ethan's biggest regret was never bringing Claire here to ride that Ferris wheel.

Fragments of the past flashed through my drowsy mind.

Mostly my one-sided expectations and his dismissiveness.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

When I opened them again, the car had stopped outside our building.

Claire had gotten out at some point.

Ethan unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to look at my swollen ankle, his brow furrowed.

"Lily," his voice was low, "does it have to be like this?"

I looked up, confused.

"If you wanted me to pick you up, you could've just said so. Did you really have to use such a stupid method to get my attention?"

His tone was steady but carried barely detectable irritation.

I didn't know what he was irritated about.

Perhaps he was annoyed that I'd interrupted his alone time with his first love.

"Ethan, you're overthinking it."

"I didn't ask you to drive me."

He probably thought I was being stubborn and scoffed.

"Oh? So what's your plan---crawl home like this?"

"I can call a cab." I looked at him.

"Ethan, I don't need you to survive."

"I used to cling to you because I loved you. That doesn't mean I'm helpless without you."

"Leave? Lily, try leaving and see if I'll come begging for you back."

The man's eyes darkened again.

I had no desire to waste more words on him.

Anyway, once the divorce papers reached his hands, he'd know this time I wasn't making a scene---I was serious.

I pushed the car door open, trying to get out myself.

But he got out first and scooped me up in his arms. His movements weren't gentle, but he didn't let me fall either.

Inside, he found the medicine kit and awkwardly sprayed medication on my ankle, his expression still cold.

"Don't do this again."

I silently watched him complete this task.

Ethan was always like this---giving me a slap, then a piece of candy.

Hot and cold, making me second-guess myself countless times.

Did he have even a shred of genuine feeling for me?

Agonizing over whether someone loves you is truly stupid, yet I'd been stupid for five years.

It was time to wake up.

Too tired to keep guessing his thoughts, I casually said thanks.

Ethan stood in front of the sofa, motionless.

"Anything else?"

Ethan pressed his lips together. "Don't you have anything you want to ask me?"

I shook my head calmly.

Actually, I'd already checked Claire's social media.

Yesterday she'd posted on Twitter---a photo of a plane landing.

The caption read "Waiting for you."

I'd scrolled through all the comments but didn't see any trace of Ethan liking or commenting.

But I knew he would go.

And indeed, that's what happened.

"I'm really tired. I want to sleep." I stood up. "I'll sleep in the guest room tonight."

Ethan grabbed my wrist.

"Lily!"

Unusually, he took the initiative to explain. "Claire and I aren't what you think."

"I picked her up this time because she just got back and isn't familiar with the area. I was just helping out."

I made a sound of acknowledgment. "As you should."

Ethan studied my face, as if trying to find some trace of insincerity.

"Lily, she and I ended a long time ago. We're just ordinary friends now."

I nodded disinterestedly. "Got it."

Ethan pulled me into his arms, for once taking the initiative to kiss me.

His burning body heat transmitted through our clothes---a warmth I'd once craved most.

He knew I liked physical intimacy and thought one kiss could placate me.

But I turned my head away.

Ethan was clearly stunned.

He completely hadn't expected me to refuse.

His expression darkened.

"Lily, my patience has limits too. You'd better not push it too far."

That night we slept in separate rooms. Ethan left me the master bedroom and took the guest room himself.

When I woke the next morning, the house was quiet---he'd already left.

My expression remained neutral as I went to the company and submitted my resignation.

If I was going to leave, I'd do it completely.

I'd only stayed at this company because of Ethan anyway, to work alongside him, to have more time together.

But at work, he'd hidden our marriage, saying it wouldn't look good.

Not only that, he deliberately kept his distance from me.

When subordinates needed to accompany him on business trips, he never chose me.

In meetings, he treated me like I was invisible.

Even when I completed a major project independently, I never earned his praise.

This cold attitude made colleagues think Ethan must have something against me.

Or that I'd offended him privately.

HR was one of the few people at the company who knew about my relationship with Ethan.

"You're leaving?"

"Ethan only said to demote you, he didn't say anything about resignation..."

I froze.

"Demotion?"

HR nodded, looking at me with sympathy.

"Your position was taken by someone parachuted in from abroad. Ethan specifically arranged it."

I felt a chill spreading through my heart.

I heard my own trembling voice:

"Her name---is it Claire Bennett?"

"Yes, that's the name."

I could barely stand and steadied myself against the desk.

Even though I was leaving anyway, hearing this news still felt like an earth-shattering defeat.

At the company, Ethan had never given me any special treatment.

I'd climbed to the director position through my own abilities, step by step.

And he just handed it to her.

Tonight was the company anniversary with a gala event.

Before officially resigning, I still attended.

At least I needed to claim my year-end bonus.

In front of everyone, Ethan publicly announced Claire Bennett's hiring on stage.

He even specifically told everyone to take good care of the new colleague.

People whispered:

"Oh my God, is this really something our stone-faced Ethan would say?"

I sat in the audience listening, dutifully applauding.

Ethan's gaze drifted toward me, as if observing my reaction.

The next second, Claire beside him wobbled in her heels, and he immediately turned to steady her.

Halfway through the banquet, I went to the terrace for air and heard Ethan talking with his friend.

"What, another cold war with Lily?"

He swirled his wine glass carelessly. "Yeah."

His friend sighed. "When will you ever take the initiative to apologize and comfort her? Girls like her are rare."

"I know."

"Then why'd you bring Claire here to humiliate Lily? This will only worsen things between you two. What if Lily really can't take it anymore and leaves?"

"She won't." Ethan paused, then continued with certainty, "Lily will never leave me."

He was still that confident.

Thinking I'd give in like every time before.

I was about to turn and leave when Claire's voice sounded behind me.

"What a coincidence. Want to have a drink together?"

Claire naturally walked to my side, her tone intimate as if we were old friends.

"I forgot to greet you last time. You're Lily, right?"

"Sorry for taking your position as soon as I arrived."

The remark carried a double meaning.

I caught the provocation in her words and asked coldly, "Claire, are we close?"

She smiled even more brightly. "I don't know much about you, but you must know quite a bit about me, right?"

I knew she must have seen my visitor record in the logs.

Seeing that I still wouldn't take the bait or show the fury she'd imagined, Claire grew unhappy and simply poured the wine in her glass onto herself, letting out a cry.

The aloof man nearby immediately changed expression and rushed over.

"Lily, what are you doing?"

I clenched my fist but didn't explain. I just threw the wine in my glass at his face.

Amid the gasps around us, I laughed coldly.

"This is what I did."

A waiter quickly brought towels.

Ethan wiped the wine from his face, those eyes dark as a frozen pond watching me with inscrutable meaning.

In the end, he said nothing and left the banquet with Claire.

I watched their retreating figures and simply pulled out my phone to send a message.

"My resignation letter and divorce papers are both on your desk."

"Remember to sign."

After sending it, I blocked and deleted his number.

I went home to grab the luggage I'd already packed, discovering two tickets to Hokkaido.

Did Ethan actually think that while I'd been packing these days, I was looking forward to going to see snow with him?

Expressionless, I tore the ticket with my name on it in half.

Without looking back, I left the city.